You actual best solution is to come back to the US when your job ends, get a job and support your family abroad until your spouse has her visa. I understand you said you "can't" do that, but the truth is you don't want to, for understandable reasons. What is the status of your children, with regard to US Citizenship?
This specific forum is full of people who have gone through the spouse visa process. Separation is more common than not.