I totally understand the difficulties of living in JST but working American hours. I was lucky because my co-workers are in PT and being an earlier riser, I was able to schedule meetings their afternoons which was ideal for me in Japan. I did my actual work, which requires no back and forth with others, whenever it was convenient in JST. I cannot imagine how we'd have handled the ~17 month wait if this hadn't been possible.
The new house and all its attendant expenses is certaintly a concern. Are you considering one of those 1/3 year Japanese spousal visas? They ought to be available in relatively short time provided the Certificate of Eligibility is obtained from the relevant Japanese ministry. And then there is the challenge of job hunting in Japan...
All the best in your endeavors!