How long the adjusting period was?

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Hi guys, just wondering. Those of you who already are living together. Did you have major or minor problems adjusting to each others household, way of doing things, habbits or whatever and if so how long did it take for you to get used to all those changes. Same question for moving and living in a new country (for lotsa people so far away from home). Was your adjustment period short or long or did you not even notice? Maybe also depends what country the person comes from I guess?

Take care all of you

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

LOL Shall I take that silence as noone has adjusted yet?

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

OK

[catrocks 0]

I think my hubby and me have almost adjusted to living with each other.... but we have our moments! He's so used to living alone (did for 6 years) that sometimes he forgets to tell me important things, but we're working through it and we're getting there

As for adjusting to life in another country, it's taking a bit longer.... but it's not so bad. Luckily for me, I already lived in another country (Belgium) for 3 years, so it's not my first time. It's silly things that make me homesick for England or feel lonely though - like trying to make a recipe and assuming that they will have the ingredient I need, and then realising that nobody knows what I'm talking about! I've only been here 4 months, so I think I'm doing pretty good so far!

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Haha yeah the ingredients I always tend to improvize (but sometimes you just can´t) ...for example had to mix a cottage cheese with philadelphia to get something similar to what I actually get to buy at home....there are lotsa things like that. Spend looking ages for a carp. Which is a cz national meal for xmas dinner. Well everyone there says it´s a smelly fish etc. It never smelled to me it´s a lovely fish. So finally found it in San Francisco, made it and yeah it was smelly. (My fiance liked it though and I got used to it after a while) Guess in USA they don´t breed them in good waters. Bought it at a chinese supermarket so maybe Chinese like it that way...dunno

[MrsBruce5 0]

Hi,

For us it took nearly a year.

Sometimes on a few occasions, I wondered if I did the right thing by marrying him.

It was VERY tough in the beginning once "real life" came into view. I lived alone with my 10 year old son for many years, and he too lived alone. Add some communication issues, a his being homesick a lot, and a culture gap to that as well.

After about 9 months, things settled down. It has been nearly 18 months, and we are very happy. We understand each other, and the differences in the way we do things. I no longer wonder about if I did the right thing. I know I did. Our partnership has grown from all of our experiences, and overcoming our different ways has made our partnership a lot richer.

It takes time, understanding and WHOLE LOT OF patience & love-but have no doubt that it will all work out if these elements are there.

All The Best,

Rose

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

That sounds wonderful Thank you for your story Good luck to both of you in the future

[rebeccajo 14]

LOL Shall I take that silence as noone has adjusted yet?

Hahahahaha........I think your thread got off to a slow start cause you posted it at like, what - 3 in the morning?

I once read it takes about 7 years for an immigrant to completely acclimate themselves to a new way of life.

The longer my husband is here, the more I think that is true....

I mean, he's NEVER been terribly homesick. We've not had any issues as a married couple that we couldn't work through.

But it must take a long time for old habits to disappear. The other day he went around to the driver's side of the car, like he was going to get in as a passenger. When he realized what he was doing he tried to act all non-chalant about it! And just yesterday, when I asked him to plug in something for me, he flipped the toggle switch beside the plug first (like you would do in the UK to turn on an outlet).

He still stands around in the grocery store and stares and stares and what's on the shelves. He's been here over two years.

I love him....he's so silly!

[Mrs.J06 4]

LOL Shall I take that silence as noone has adjusted yet?

He still stands around in the grocery store and stares and stares and what's on the shelves. He's been here over two years.

I know the feeling - seriously, how many different types of peanut butter do you need???

I'm not terribly homesick, but I miss my family and friends, sometimes more, sometimes less.

And I miss the feeling of knowing exactly how things work, whom to call for certain things, knowing what's appropriate to do in certain situations. Sometimes it's hard when you realize you don't share the same childhood memories with the people around you, but then again, at times it makes life so much more interesting.

There will be good times and bad times for a while, we all have to keep that in mind, I think.

[mnieto 2]

LOL Shall I take that silence as noone has adjusted yet?

But it must take a long time for old habits to disappear. The other day he went around to the driver's side of the car, like he was going to get in as a passenger. When he realized what he was doing he tried to act all non-chalant about it! And just yesterday, when I asked him to plug in something for me, he flipped the toggle switch beside the plug first (like you would do in the UK to turn on an outlet).

He still stands around in the grocery store and stares and stares and what's on the shelves. He's been here over two years.

I love him....he's so silly!

My SO, the USC, teases me all the time that he'll be curious to see how I will adjust to all these changes...

On the one hand side I really can't wait to see how my lifestyle will change, but on the other side I'm also a little bit scared about now knowing exactly who to call or what to do in various situations.But this is something which I guess will be learned (...or not ) by daily life in the US.

One thing which drives me crazy is that I sometimes simply don't know what is "appropriate" and what is "not appropriate" in the US.

I've learned that many things which are totally and completely ok in good ol' Germany are a TOTAL no-go in the US, and what I consider as being absolutely unacceptable is absolutely all-right in America....

Sometimes I just don't get it...

But I'm looking forward A LOT to my new life....! (And the grocery stores..... )

[*JG* 2]

Andre's been here about a year and a half and he's adjusted well to the US, me, etc. I think adjustment is a constant process as something new seems to be thrown at you every day.

Ask me this question again after he drives in the snow and ice for the first time. I might be cussing then.

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

I once read it takes about 7 years for an immigrant to completely acclimate themselves to a new way of life.

The longer my husband is here, the more I think that is true....

I mean, he's NEVER been terribly homesick. We've not had any issues as a married couple that we couldn't work through.

But it must take a long time for old habits to disappear. The other day he went around to the driver's side of the car, like he was going to get in as a passenger. When he realized what he was doing he tried to act all non-chalant about it! And just yesterday, when I asked him to plug in something for me, he flipped the toggle switch beside the plug first (like you would do in the UK to turn on an outlet).

He still stands around in the grocery store and stares and stares and what's on the shelves. He's been here over two years.

I love him....he's so silly!

haha Rebeccajo very funny yeah I didn´t even realize that for our UK friends there will be the driving on the right side one of the new things but they might be more used to it if they travel around Europe...that makes it more complicated for the rest of us when we visit UK, cuz we don´t get to drive on the left anywhere else around here (I mean in Europe)

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

I know the feeling - seriously, how many different types of peanut butter do you need???

I'm not terribly homesick, but I miss my family and friends, sometimes more, sometimes less.

And I miss the feeling of knowing exactly how things work, whom to call for certain things, knowing what's appropriate to do in certain situations. Sometimes it's hard when you realize you don't share the same childhood memories with the people around you, but then again, at times it makes life so much more interesting.

There will be good times and bad times for a while, we all have to keep that in mind, I think.

Yeah that´s pretty scary for me. I am a pretty much independent person and don´t really like to rely on others which in this case I will have to always ask my hopefully soon to be hubby about where should I go to when I need to arrange this and that? All the beaurocratic system and things like that...have no clue how it works there...But then again..if we then decide to go live in my country, I´d help him out with everything without a problem. So then it doesn´t seem that scary anymore Just maybe uncomfortable before I get used to everything

[joelunchbox 0]

LOL Shall I take that silence as noone has adjusted yet?

But it must take a long time for old habits to disappear. The other day he went around to the driver's side of the car, like he was going to get in as a passenger. When he realized what he was doing he tried to act all non-chalant about it! And just yesterday, when I asked him to plug in something for me, he flipped the toggle switch beside the plug first (like you would do in the UK to turn on an outlet).

He still stands around in the grocery store and stares and stares and what's on the shelves. He's been here over two years.

I love him....he's so silly!

My SO, the USC, teases me all the time that he'll be curious to see how I will adjust to all these changes...

On the one hand side I really can't wait to see how my lifestyle will change, but on the other side I'm also a little bit scared about now knowing exactly who to call or what to do in various situations.But this is something which I guess will be learned (...or not ) by daily life in the US.

One thing which drives me crazy is that I sometimes simply don't know what is "appropriate" and what is "not appropriate" in the US.

I've learned that many things which are totally and completely ok in good ol' Germany are a TOTAL no-go in the US, and what I consider as being absolutely unacceptable is absolutely all-right in America....

Sometimes I just don't get it...

But I'm looking forward A LOT to my new life....! (And the grocery stores..... )

One thing I see on the horizon...she has a hard time believing I get up at 5 am to go work. thing is, once she is here, I won't want to go to work at 5 am...........

Number 1 reason to get married--bedwarmer.

Number 2 reason to get married--back rubs

I am an equal opportunity bed warmer and back rubber too. I like giving and receiving both

Edited December 6, 2007 by joelunchbox

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Andre's been here about a year and a half and he's adjusted well to the US, me, etc. I think adjustment is a constant process as something new seems to be thrown at you every day.

Ask me this question again after he drives in the snow and ice for the first time. I might be cussing then.

LOL...but didn´t the Jamaican bobsledge olympic team train on sand?