I want to go home :(

[mandiuk 0]

Hey

there guys just wondered if anyone has come this far and quit. I am really homesick and just really want to call it a day. I am not enjoying my life here in NY at all ive cried most of the time being here as i miss Scotland I have no friends and family here and hate feeling so trapped. I have been here 8 months and just feel nothing is changing. I have return flight in sept im very tempted to just go back home ive had enough of dealing with all the paper work and not being able to work or drive and have a life its making me really depressed. I have no freedom in the USA which is so ironic in the land of the free.

mandi

[Jashley820 0]

Hey

there guys just wondered if anyone has come this far and quit. I am really homesick and just really want to call it a day. I am not enjoying my life here in NY at all ive cried most of the time being here as i miss Scotland I have no friends and family here and hate feeling so trapped. I have been here 8 months and just feel nothing is changing. I have return flight in sept im very tempted to just go back home ive had enough of dealing with all the paper work and not being able to work or drive and have a life its making me really depressed. I have no freedom in the USA which is so ironic in the land of the free.

mandi

What about the love you have with your husband? Is it worth it to give that up, or would he go with you?

[soch 2]

Yeah, how does your husband feel, what does he say? Being homesick was inevitable but if the relationship is not good that is different. Do you have his support.

[~krakatoa~ 27]

Think that all you're feeling is natural and common. You're not alone. But think of the first & only reason why you are here in the US in the first place, love should sustain and keep you strong. Everything is just temporary.

Your husband should help you in the transitions and adjustment, hang in there! Love is grander & selfless than you'd expect it to be. Home is where your heart is.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I am sorry to hear you are homesick..... I too sruggled with this when I first came over.... it is very diffrent from out native Scotland....

I applied for work in a temp agency as soon as I got my EAD and that helped a lot... have you got your EAD yet??? is your husband giving you any help with all this? I also found it helpful to stay intouch with my friends and family back in Scotland.... I use a programe called Skype on my PC it is like a phone service and it is free to call other computers and very cheap to call landlines and mobiles.... you can also use a wabcam so you can see your family and friends....

I hope things get easier for you..... stay strong.

Kez

[mandiuk 0]

Yeah, how does your husband feel, what does he say? Being homesick was inevitable but if the relationship is not good that is different. Do you have his support.

I have his support hes great but hes at work most of the time so i dont see him much. So im basically left to my own devices and its really not fun.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Why cant you drive or work? My wife misses her family but she can visit any time she wants and talks with them on the phone all the time. My wife is 6 months pregnant and hasnt felt like getting out too much but i do everything I can to make her happy. I worry that she left everything she had to be with me and I appreciate this with all my heart. I would reccomend you sitting down with your spouse and explaining how you feel and what can you both do to help you feel more at home in the USA. If he loves you he will do anything to make you happy.

[RosaMystica7 0]

Where in New York do you live? Perhaps you could make some friends here to meet up with, I think there's a fair amount of New Yorkers here. Maybe there's some local groups or classes that you could somehow become involved in, depending on your interests?

You could quit at any time - you are not forced to stay here. But without AP or a greencard it won't be easy for you to come back if you decide you miss your husband and want to give it another shot. Maybe your husband could help find a way to get you through this... if you live on Long Island I'd gladly hang out with you, if not hopefully you'll be able to find New Yorkers more local to you here.

Edited July 2, 2007 by Angilla

[doc_cute 0]

Where in New York do you live? Perhaps you could make some friends here to meet up with, I think there's a fair amount of New Yorkers here. Maybe there's some local groups or classes that you could somehow become involved in, depending on your interests?

You could quit at any time - you are not forced to stay here. But without AP or a greencard it won't be easy for you to come back if you decide you miss your husband and want to give it another shot. Maybe your husband could help find a way to get you through this... if you live on Long Island I'd gladly hang out with you, if not hopefully you'll be able to find New Yorkers more local to you here.

thats nice of angilla

nice idea of making some nice frnds

[mandiuk 0]

Where in New York do you live? Perhaps you could make some friends here to meet up with, I think there's a fair amount of New Yorkers here. Maybe there's some local groups or classes that you could somehow become involved in, depending on your interests?

You could quit at any time - you are not forced to stay here. But without AP or a greencard it won't be easy for you to come back if you decide you miss your husband and want to give it another shot. Maybe your husband could help find a way to get you through this... if you live on Long Island I'd gladly hang out with you, if not hopefully you'll be able to find New Yorkers more local to you here.

thats nice of angilla

nice idea of making some nice frnds

I cant drive or work because i dont have a SSN a huge big mess i went to get one when i first came and they couldnt give me it because we were not married. Then i went back to get it when we were and they said i was not in the system i had to wait until i got my green card the woman said she couldnt do anything about it and laughed in my face . The K1 has just been a nightmare for me from start to finish the recent episode is i need to get the varcella jag they wont take my word for having chicken pox twice. Im just so so tired of it sll. My husband knows how i feel but he says were almost done. I just feel i cant take it anymore. I live in upstate New York Albany.

[Karly-n-Bruce 0]

I have his support hes great but hes at work most of the time so i dont see him much. So im basically left to my own devices and its really not fun.

I understand your feelings of homesickness and although those feelings haven't completely disappeared for me (I've been in the US since November 1st, 2006), I do find it easier to deal with now. It seems we are in a similar situation as my husband works two jobs and goes to school. Needless to say, he's not home very often but I've learned to deal with it adnd know that his current schedule is temporary. Things do get boring every once in awhile, but I find things to do. Do you like gaming systems or have any pets? What about reading, writing, drawing, sewing... Any hobbies that could keep you busy when you're home? I know you can't stay home all the time, unless you're wired that way (some people are), so maybe joining a club or something to meet new people and make friends...

Have you tried getting a driver's license? I know it's harder in some states compared to others, but it seems a lot of them give you a "conditional" one with your AOS NOA1. You may have already tried this, but if you haven't, it's something to look into.

I hope that your love for your husband will be enough for you to get through this tough time. It seems there have been a few people who have given up prematurely lately... not always because they were in a bad relationship...

ETA: disregard the thing about the DL... I saw in your post above mine that you don't have your SSN...

Edited July 2, 2007 by Karly-n-Bruce

[RosaMystica7 0]

Aww, too far away for me to visit... maybe you could find other NYers on VJ who could come visit you? Other ideas of hobbies... if you're a writer, what about penpals and stamp collecting? Is there anywhere that you could go within biking distance? Is there room in the lawn for gardening? What are you passionate about, that you could dive yourself into to get your mind out of the visa mess?

Maybe try talking to your hubby again... tell him that you don't know how to handle almost done and that almost done isn't comforting you right now... tell him everything. Does your husband have any local family or friends? Do you two have any money to spare for a taxi once in a while? Or money for some new paint, re-arrange the furniture and paint the walls?

[TracyTN 237]

Where in New York do you live? Perhaps you could make some friends here to meet up with, I think there's a fair amount of New Yorkers here. Maybe there's some local groups or classes that you could somehow become involved in, depending on your interests?

You could quit at any time - you are not forced to stay here. But without AP or a greencard it won't be easy for you to come back if you decide you miss your husband and want to give it another shot. Maybe your husband could help find a way to get you through this... if you live on Long Island I'd gladly hang out with you, if not hopefully you'll be able to find New Yorkers more local to you here.

thats nice of angilla

nice idea of making some nice frnds

I cant drive or work because i dont have a SSN a huge big mess i went to get one when i first came and they couldnt give me it because we were not married. Then i went back to get it when we were and they said i was not in the system i had to wait until i got my green card the woman said she couldnt do anything about it and laughed in my face .

She was an ignorant cow. Try another SSA office, or try the same one but see a different person.

Read this, print it out and take it with you.

https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx...33;opendocument

[Karly-n-Bruce 0]

She was an ignorant cow. Try another SSA office, or try the same one but see a different person.

Read this, print it out and take it with you.

https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx...33;opendocument

I do agree that the woman at the SSA office didn't know what she was talking about, but it seems now mandi's going to have to wait for her green card because I don't think she can get a SSN with an expired I-94 (she entered the US in Nov 2006).

[payxibka 10,045]

She was an ignorant cow. Try another SSA office, or try the same one but see a different person.

Read this, print it out and take it with you.

https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps10/poms.nsf/lnx...33;opendocument

TracyTN,

I agree that the SSA was wrong to not process the application for SSN if the OP applied for her SSN before day 76 of her arrival in the USA (on a K-1). However, since her EA has now expired (she does not appear to currently be EA), on what basis will she apply for an SSN today?