He said, she said

[Jaylen Brit 0]

A collection of sexist jokes to make you grin or groan or send hate mail (My name is spelled E.W.O.K :lol)

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to

wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he

shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled

back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

---------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the

happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

--------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of

the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed

the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied

______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have

wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.

_________________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I

sit on the sofa and fart.

_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the

grocery money I gave you?

She said -Turn sideways and look in the mirror

______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,

sensitive man?

A: A rumor

_______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were

celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good

fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each

one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!

Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

__________________

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll

beat him to death.

AMEN

________________________________

Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the

noose.

_________________________________

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

______________________________

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One-he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve

around him.

_____________________

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

________________________________

Q: What does it mean when a man is in

your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

____________________________

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to

fertilize one egg?

A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

_____________________________

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill

their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

__________________________

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

______________________________

Q: How do you keep your husband from

reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

[mike&jie 0]

[Fandango 1,439]

hahahaha those are great!

Add two:

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man than a woman? - Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know; it has never happened.

[Tiksman 0]

Ok OK . You did make me laugh....

[Jasman0717 9]

[allynella 0]

[Peggy 1]

[almaty 19]

[ChristinaM 0]

BROTHER DEAN LIVES!!!

On a side note, they were good

[Niels Bohr 72]

ROFLMAO!!! How did I miss this one.