The state of the ME/NA forum

[Together4ever 1]

You know I stepped away from the ME/NA forum and you know why. No reason to restate it. I do come to VJ now for information instead of the social aspect I had enjoyed before. However, the sh*t slinging and gleeful insults are becoming hard to avoid as they seem to meander through several threads now.

Do you women understand the destruction you leave in your wake? Do you know new members as well as some veterans have left me private messages stating they won't even post because of those who insist on carrying on like this? They're afraid to. VisaJourney is a forum meant to help people and your personal agendas are slowly undermining this website.

Now I realize there are some who feel the whole "mean girl" thing is cute. It's become repulsive and embarassing. It has turned into the laughing stock of VJ and it appears you now even want a logo for it??? Insane. Why do I care? I care because months ago I took these women (YOU) sharing a common struggle with SOs in a common culture as family. At one time we shared a lot of support here. Yep, it was my own fault however. Not blaming anyone but myself.

I realize I have no authority and its not my business, but I also care about VJ and since everyone else can fan any opinion they have here without any level of personal responsibility, so shall I. Straighten up ladies. You're adults. This is a public forum meant for support and information. If you can't conduct yourselves in a decent manner I WISH TO GOD YOU WOULD TAKE THIS PRIVATE and stop muddying up this board.

Do you realize I tried to do a search last night for information. One of the keywords I used pulled up nothing but endless threads of your catty bickering. Do you realize how many people, not even VJ members are reading your twaddle???? Are you proud of this??? Its out there on the internet now! Its representative of VJ. I'm not proud of things I've said here in the past for just this very reason. It will always stand as a testament to my weaker moments and I'm personally ashamed of it. Aren't YOU? Please just try to remember you are not the only one's on this forum. If I wanted a shallow, childish and downright stupid display of lack deceny I would go sit in a Yahoo chatroom... NOT VJ.

And for you flamers who I know will jump all over me now... remember I stated that I have made these same mistakes in the past. At least I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions. I hope you will too.

[Ban Hammer 13,349]

well stated

[Nagishkaw 510]

I do not post my questions for the very reasons stated above. It's and endless charade, and I stand with you. As for the flame throwers, consider it a brutal, ball-busting onslaught that adds to the overall terror.

[chiquita 0]

I couldn't have said it any better than you did. How on earth did all this ####### start??

I myself have gotten caught up in the whoopla (gulp) but have since to stay out of it and ignore the stuff. I don't need drama in my life as I have a nice real life right here at home!

I hope you hear something soon!

Hugs

chi

I couldn't have said it any better than you did. How on earth did all this ####### start??

I myself have gotten caught up in the whoopla (gulp) but have since decided to stay out of it and ignore the stuff. I don't need drama in my life as I have a nice real life right here at home!

I hope you hear something soon!

Hugs

chi

[libragodess 1]

You know I stepped away from the ME/NA forum and you know why. No reason to restate it. I do come to VJ now for information instead of the social aspect I had enjoyed before. However, the sh*t slinging and gleeful insults are becoming hard to avoid as they seem to meander through several threads now.

Do you women understand the destruction you leave in your wake? Do you know new members as well as some veterans have left me private messages stating they won't even post because of those who insist on carrying on like this? They're afraid to. VisaJourney is a forum meant to help people and your personal agendas are slowly undermining this website.

Now I realize there are some who feel the whole "mean girl" thing is cute. It's become repulsive and embarassing. It has turned into the laughing stock of VJ and it appears you now even want a logo for it??? Insane. Why do I care? I care because months ago I took these women (YOU) sharing a common struggle with SOs in a common culture as family. At one time we shared a lot of support here. Yep, it was my own fault however. Not blaming anyone but myself.

I realize I have no authority and its not my business, but I also care about VJ and since everyone else can fan any opinion they have here without any level of personal responsibility, so shall I. Straighten up ladies. You're adults. This is a public forum meant for support and information. If you can't conduct yourselves in a decent manner I WISH TO GOD YOU WOULD TAKE THIS PRIVATE and stop muddying up this board.

Do you realize I tried to do a search last night for information. One of the keywords I used pulled up nothing but endless threads of your catty bickering. Do you realize how many people, not even VJ members are reading your twaddle???? Are you proud of this??? Its out there on the internet now! Its representative of VJ. I'm not proud of things I've said here in the past for just this very reason. It will always stand as a testament to my weaker moments and I'm personally ashamed of it. Aren't YOU? Please just try to remember you are not the only one's on this forum. If I wanted a shallow, childish and downright stupid display of lack deceny I would go sit in a Yahoo chatroom... NOT VJ.

And for you flamers who I know will jump all over me now... remember I stated that I have made these same mistakes in the past. At least I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions. I hope you will too.

Nicely stated Jean. Good and Valid point. I second that motion.

I do think of VJ as a support group/information site. I'm hoping that I can continue to.

[dollface41601 0]

Well said just waiting, I used to post religously on this board, but am more or less ashamed now to even lurk here, half of the women in the ME/NA forum have given all of us a bad name....Its sad, this use to be such a close knit group to be part of....ask Jacque, Laura, Dawn, LuLu, they were all around along with myself when this fourm was supportive..its sad to say the turn around its had over the past year...

[LaL 418]

Well said just waiting, I used to post religously on this board, but am more or less ashamed now to even lurk here, half of the women in the ME/NA forum have given all of us a bad name....Its sad, this use to be such a close knit group to be part of....ask Jacque, Laura, Dawn, LuLu, they were all around along with myself when this fourm was supportive..its sad to say the turn around its had over the past year...

yeah we were

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Well said..... it is so sad to see a whole regional forum go down the tubes because of the actions of a few who think they are smart to be rude.....

Kezzie

[~Jackie~ 30]

Kelly, you are one of the reasons I stay on VJ. Tho we are finished with the immigration process, I stay to help others. When we first met, you had a petition filed to the wrong center. (this I unfortunatly have experience with!) I was able to help you, and this is why I stay.

Jean, because of the 2 year wait to be together, I know personally how trying this time is. I think the ones with family and friends, can handle it better. I didn't have that support group and it was a painful process. To offer support is another reason I stay on VJ.

No matter how bad it gets here, I stay. Now you all know why.

Jackie

[noura 0]

agreed.... i'm slowly disappearing from this board and at least from these useless threads of destruction. miss you Jean.... and I'm missing what this used to be. thank you for stating that!

[YasmineY 0]

Thank you for writing this. I am one of the new people who does not want to post for support because I am fearful of being put in the middle of the nasty writings.

I was sad yester day when I saw people attacking and horrid language used in Arabic from one sister to another, sisters gosipping. It's horrible, I am an Arabic speaker and I hard to believe one sister called another sister some terrible names with Arabic. Is all dis-respectful to Allah (swt) especialy at this special time of year. I want nothing to do with this forum.

I am sad because I thought I had found a group of support, and not it seems.

My English writing is not perfect and I ask for tolerance with spelling mistakes.

Edited September 9, 2006 by YasmineY

[Aymerlu 3]

Well stated Jean! I normally keep my mouth shut when these little twaddles start.....it's such asinine nonsense. I swear there is more bickering and childlike behavior here on VJ than I see in my daily life in my own home with children. I too have been doing searches on the board for information I'm needing and it's thread after thread of insults and back biting which is making me about to pull my hair out. A lot of you gals (you know who are you ) are great and I am grateful we have become friends through VJ.

My husband was reading VJ the other day and come across a thread with the hoopla going on. Being muslim he asked me "Why are the sisters on here acting like this?" I told him it was the norm which really upset him. He really does not want me to come to the forum any longer because he says a lot of the backbiting comments shows a poor example of Islam. Me myself have been talking to him about Islam for a couple years now. He knows I have been/am interested in learning more, but to be perfectly honest, when I read the comments, I take a few steps back. He never really understood WHY I was doing this, but after reading up, he understands why my thoughts are like they are.

I know there will be posts made on a daily basis that pisses people off.....we are all human. BUT what we can do, is not comment to add fuel to the fire

As for the "MEAN GIRLS," at first it was slightly comical, I do admit, but now I DO NOT want that title.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Can't we all just get along?

[Nagishkaw 510]

not as long as sentimental comfort addicts are giving happiness a bad name.

[Veiled Princess 1]

not as long as sentimental comfort addicts are giving happiness a bad name.