Sad Update

[dreamchaser 0]

I was in two minds whether to post this or not, but everyone on here have been so helpful, and if nothing else, it may help other or have any doubts about the whole process.

Sadly, when I got to the USA at Christmas, things were not all that they seemed with my Fiance. Those who read my post, will remember that I visited for Christmas.

Well my Fiance persuaded me to stay, while waiting for final part of application to be complete (interview).

Long and short of it is, he turned out not to be the man I fell in love with, quite the opposite. Everything he had told me was a lie, everything we had planned for our future, turned out to be false and the promises he made myself and my son were broken. And as far as I can now ascertain, he had never intended to go ahead with the marriage - what I cant understand is why he would go through this whole procedure if the intent was never there - and I know this because I found evidence of other women in his home, emails and mysterious phone calls and the fact that he continued to talk to other women on the internet tell them there was no one special in his life. He also took my engagement ring, (without my knowledge) and took it back to the store and made out he had only just given it to me, when in fact he gave it to me on his visit to the UK.

Not only did I sell everything myself and my son owned, we also gave our dog away in readiness for our new life in the USA. Obviously, we were unable to stay in the USA, not being married, so we have had to come back, and try to pick the pieces up of our life while coming to terms with what he has done to us. He has no explanation as to why he had done this , nor did he apologise. The one thing he did say was - I should have had a back up plan (back up against what I asked?)

So while, there is nothing I can do to change the situation, I would say this to both men and women, please be totally honest about your feelings throughout this process, and if you have any doubts, talk to each other, I would hate for someone else to have to go through what my son and I have.

I do not want sympathy, nor revenge (although I would say I have good cause to), but just to pass my experience on.

Fiona

[Sinergy 3]

dreamchaser i am so sorry to hear this. It broke my heart to know something like this happened to someone. He should have been honest about how he felt, it would have saved you so much heartache. And your son, how sad for him to have to go through all of this with you, and to get to know this man who was going to be his daddy figure. What a letdown.

I wish you TRUE happiness in the future. I know it will take time to get over this, but in away its a good thing it happened now and not once everything was final and you were in the USA with nowhere to go.

My heart and prayers go out to you.

Hugs,

Tara

[pax 0]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I don't know what else I can say, really. What a terrible thing to do to someone. Please accept my best wishes for you and your son starting over and finding happiness.

[dxt7339 1]

I am so very sorry to hear of your situation! ! ! It is almost unbelievable that someone would do this to another person. I guess that there are just some bad people out there and it can be difficult to determine someones real feelings if they are intent on deception.

I wish you and your son much happiness in the future.

Dev

[aussiewench 9]

awwwwwwwww Fiona *BIGGEST HUGS*

I wish you and your son all the best in recovering from this. My heart goes out to you

Lorelle

[Kez/JWolf 6]

Fiona

I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your son.... there is nothing I can say that will change anything for you....

But I do wish you peace in your heart and I hope life will be kinder to you in the future....

Keep strong

Kezzie

[JamesT 12]

This is such sad news Fiona, I'm so sorry Thank you for sharing your story so other people will beware... Don't worry too much, everything will heal with time and your life will be back together... and someday you will find your true soul mate out there somewhere.

[ktun 0]

Fiona,

There isnt much I can say apart from I am so sorry to hear this and my heart goes out to you. This man has treated you terribly and I cant understand why he would do such a thing. I wish you happiness with your future and hope that you find someone who is worthy of you.

We're all thinking of you here on VJ

Kate

[dreamchaser 0]

Thank you all for your kind words.

I think what has blown me away the most, is, all through the process I have asked if he is sure about this and the marriage, and that he had to understand that we would be giving up our whole lives for him, and he assured me time and time again that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

I know that everyone has a right to change their mind, but things dont just change over night, he has had months to say something instead, he just carried on having affair after affair, not realising that I would find out eventually. Which I now have, and yes, I guess it was better to find out now rather than when we were married, but on the other hand, if I had found out when we were married at least my son and I would have been able to stay and build over life in the USA, instead of having to up root again. Some would say I have had a narrow escape.

One thing I will say is, I have had little or no help from the authorities when I got back to the UK, not from my local council, or help and benefit authorities. This has been such a nightmare, and I just cant understand how my own country would turn its back and not help in our time of need. Its a good job I have good friends.

But again, thank you, and if this posts helps at least one person, then that will be nice

[Jasman0717 9]

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I think many here will be thankful for your honesty and sharing of this. It could help others not fall into the same situation. It is very difficult to get to know someone long distance using phone calls or messenger services. I applaud you for sharing and my heart goes out to you for your pain. I wish you the best for the future.

[MaryandMian 1]

Fiona,

I am very sorry to hear of this charade that your fiance played with your heart and your son as well. Nothing I can do but wish you a swift healing and that you and your son find happiness again. Will remember you during this difficult time.

Mary

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Dreamchaser

I am sooooooooooo heartbroken for you and for your son! I am so disgusted that someone could be so callous and nonchalant about something breaking your heart. You and your son are in my prayers. That man is a pig, and a disgrace to the human race!

*hugs*

Lynne

[dreamchaser 0]

It wasnt the easiest thing sharing this information and I had a mixture of shame, hurt, and sadness, and for the best part, I have shut the world out why I try to lick my wounds and heal. The emotional damage this man has done to me is bad enough, but the damage this has done to my son is so heart breaking. He had registered with his new school, made friends, even had a girlfriend, and for the second time, for this man, he has had to give things up.

We have gone from living in a lovely 3 bed house with nice things around us, to having to stay in a little caravan until i have re-establish myself in work again.

So please, to all, if you have any doubts, share this with your partner, and either talk it through or forget the whole process, the pain is far too great to just ignore it, it doesnt just go away

[ktun 0]

Fiona, dont feel shame. You have nothing to be ashamed about. This is not your fault. You acted in good faith, you werent to know that this would happen. God bless you and your son. I am pleased that you have good friends who are helping you and hope that you are able to get back on your feet soon.

HUGS

Kate

[Sinergy 3]

Fiona,

You have no reason to feel shame! This was not your fault! None of it! Trusting people just isnt like it used to be. People can earn trust and then push them down so fast without the other person even realising it happened. I cant imagine whats going on in your sons heart, and im sure its horrifying. I hope you can get your life back together quickly and put this horrible experience behind you. No one deserves this kind of pain!

Hugs,

Tara