two questions about K-1

[firefly777 2]

Hi,

first of all thank you so much for all the wonderful research and personal posts on here. It helped me so much in filing my I-129F with all those "what do i put in this box?" type of questions I had.

I have two questions and I hope i can get some help on it.

I sent my I-129F end of January and it was received in california service center on Jan 25th, 2010. I checked my cashed check online and was able to get the receipt

number that starts with WAC_blah blah

able to see status online that say they got my stuff and have sent out a notice informing of such. It's been close to one month and still no NOA1 in the mail.

Is this typical? because reading even the feb 2010 filer forums and it seems they got hardcopy of NOA1 like 3-4 days later.

I was going to wait til this friday and if not call them on Monday of this coming week. Is not getting NOA1 a big deal or not? I know NOA2 is important and required for AOS later on.

Second and most important question.

I read a lot about sending in proof and mainly with my fiancee it's been emails and skype chat logs. I sent the receipt of the ring i bought her, photos of us meeting and the engagement party, stamped visa, boarding passes,

and a letter she had sent to me by snail mail.

Now this is what has had me stressed and worried and i'm not sure if i'm just over reacting... i read a lot in the forums about not even mentioning things like "my hubby" or "my sweet wifey" even if it's a nickname

in anything cuz they automatically accuse you of already being married and deny your K-1 fiancee request. We've never married neither legally nor even traditional/religious wise.. just engaged. But as even boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes jokingly call each other husband or wife i don't see how they can flat out deny us based on a single part in one of her emails where she said "your wife misses you"....

what do you guys think? am i just stressed and worried about this process and over reacting and letting little things get in my head?

My fiancee is in Islamabad Pakistan and it's not a high region known for marriage frauds n such like some other countries so I'm hoping they are not that strict on reading a single word and saying "that's it.. no go".

We are good honest people and have no intention of cheating the system or anything to get here faster.. But we love each other so much and always joke about having a lazy husband (myself) and a wifey that can't cook (her)

on skype and emails and etc.

Has anyone been denied or had Consulate give them trouble over small thing like this. And yes I read all the other emails and made sure it was no mention of such things but one of the emails slipped and it is a single sentence like i said above. I'm the worrier of the relationship so she says to stop thinking too much over it and I keep thinking "oh man i messed up" haha

any stories about simliar experience or advice is welcomed.

thanks and i love these forums and all the example forms and reading all the timelines and stories of happy couples on here that have been through the trenches already with the K visas.. gives me hope and that whole "patience grasshopper" mentality

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hi,

first of all thank you so much for all the wonderful research and personal posts on here. It helped me so much in filing my I-129F with all those "what do i put in this box?" type of questions I had.

I have two questions and I hope i can get some help on it.

I sent my I-129F end of January and it was received in california service center on Jan 25th, 2010. I checked my cashed check online and was able to get the receipt

number that starts with WAC_blah blah

able to see status online that say they got my stuff and have sent out a notice informing of such. It's been close to one month and still no NOA1 in the mail.

Is this typical? because reading even the feb 2010 filer forums and it seems they got hardcopy of NOA1 like 3-4 days later.

I was going to wait til this friday and if not call them on Monday of this coming week. Is not getting NOA1 a big deal or not? I know NOA2 is important and required for AOS later on.

Second and most important question.

I read a lot about sending in proof and mainly with my fiancee it's been emails and skype chat logs. I sent the receipt of the ring i bought her, photos of us meeting and the engagement party, stamped visa, boarding passes,

and a letter she had sent to me by snail mail.

Now this is what has had me stressed and worried and i'm not sure if i'm just over reacting... i read a lot in the forums about not even mentioning things like "my hubby" or "my sweet wifey" even if it's a nickname

in anything cuz they automatically accuse you of already being married and deny your K-1 fiancee request. We've never married neither legally nor even traditional/religious wise.. just engaged. But as even boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes jokingly call each other husband or wife i don't see how they can flat out deny us based on a single part in one of her emails where she said "your wife misses you"....

what do you guys think? am i just stressed and worried about this process and over reacting and letting little things get in my head?

My fiancee is in Islamabad Pakistan and it's not a high region known for marriage frauds n such like some other countries so I'm hoping they are not that strict on reading a single word and saying "that's it.. no go".

We are good honest people and have no intention of cheating the system or anything to get here faster.. But we love each other so much and always joke about having a lazy husband (myself) and a wifey that can't cook (her)

on skype and emails and etc.

Has anyone been denied or had Consulate give them trouble over small thing like this. And yes I read all the other emails and made sure it was no mention of such things but one of the emails slipped and it is a single sentence like i said above. I'm the worrier of the relationship so she says to stop thinking too much over it and I keep thinking "oh man i messed up" haha

any stories about simliar experience or advice is welcomed.

thanks and i love these forums and all the example forms and reading all the timelines and stories of happy couples on here that have been through the trenches already with the K visas.. gives me hope and that whole "patience grasshopper" mentality

There have been several cases recently of people going through difficult consulates being denied because they called each other "husband" or "wife. In emals, etc. You are going through a difficult consulate. You can do a search of the forums and find these topics. I am not kidding.

If she is your fiancee do NOT call her your wife. It is not cute and it is not taken as a joke at many consulates. Stop doing that immediately and never do it again until after you are married. I would suggest you NOT send those particular emails as evidence.

[TracyTN 237]

Agreed - that wasn't too wise. If you're going to call each other that, at least don't send proof of it in to USCIS.

Good luck.

[firefly777 2]

There have been several cases recently of people going through difficult consulates being denied because they called each other "husband" or "wife. In emals, etc. You are going through a difficult consulate. You can do a search of the forums and find these topics. I am not kidding.

If she is your fiancee do NOT call her your wife. It is not cute and it is not taken as a joke at many consulates. Stop doing that immediately and never do it again until after you are married. I would suggest you NOT send those particular emails as evidence.

yeah this is why i'm also worried.. problem is i already sent that .. the whole reason for this topic.. if i hadn't sent any i would've

picked other emails with no mention of that.. but it's already sent... i sent like a few dozen pages of chat logs... all clean with no wife/husband remarks...

about 7-8 emails some several pages long cuz we write novel sized letters to each other.. haha and only one of the emails contains that one single sentence.... it's already sent so i really don't know what to do at this point...

has anyone been giving heaches for this.. first hand experience please if you have.. and also is there a process in place to

let's say fight them on this issue cuz technically where is the legal documents and marriage certs that they can produce that says "yes you are married"...

i understand ur view of don't do it and it's not cute or what not.. but i'm saying as human beings and being engaged to someone there are times that joking or not u see the future ahead and sometimes that slips... and i alerady know the legal meaning of marriage and

why it has weight in regards to ownership of property or monetary things if say tomorrow i would kick the bucket..

anyhow at this point i'm leaving it in god's hands i guess.... it's not much i can do.. but please advice on

some good arguments in case they pressure my fiancee during her interview at the embassy.

I'm past the whole "don't do it man" point as i said in my original post.. i sent the email as evidence with the I-129F packet.. so please don't write back about not doing it cuz it's a little too late for that.. i would however would love to hear personal stories of

others being in the same boat as me and if they got denied or were able to get past it... or some good arguments

for such a small one sentence in only ONE of our evidence documents...

[dakay ♥ 10]

I sent my I-129F end of January and it was received in california service center on Jan 25th, 2010. I checked my cashed check online and was able to get the receipt

number that starts with WAC_blah blah

able to see status online that say they got my stuff and have sent out a notice informing of such. It's been close to one month and still no NOA1 in the mail.

If I was you, is time to call them, just to be sure that they are processing the case.

Now this is what has had me stressed and worried and i'm not sure if i'm just over reacting... i read a lot in the forums about not even mentioning things like "my hubby" or "my sweet wifey" even if it's a nickname

in anything cuz they automatically accuse you of already being married and deny your K-1 fiancee request. We've never married neither legally nor even traditional/religious wise.. just engaged. But as even boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes jokingly call each other husband or wife i don't see how they can flat out deny us based on a single part in one of her emails where she said "your wife misses you"....

they might interpret it badly and they would not see it as a joke, my advice would be you not send those emails.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

I was recently engaged in South Vietnam, our Khmer ceremony was the same as a marriage, except we have no license from government. We call each other husband in wife in our letters to each other or on the phone. I too will shortly send in my k1, I hope it's not a problem either, I will have my Lawyer address it if he thinks it necessary. I think it comforts us emotionally to call each other husband and wife. Think about it, we live several thousand miles apart and these are some of darkest days waiting for some stranger to decide our fate. I would think or at least hope the Consulates would take that into consideration if our applications show no sign of fraud. Good luck my friend.

Edited February 19, 2010 by Sayha or bust.

[baron555 934]

Immigration to the US is not a joking or cute matter. It is very serious and those involved have to conduct themselves accordingly.

Stop lying and saying your fiancee is your wife, because she is not.

Since your emails and other correspondence are and must be part of your official petition, don't include anything that would raise a concern in an adjucator's or consulate officer's mind.

There will be plenty of time once this is all over to be cute to each other in private.

You want your evidence to paint the picture of a couple in love but very mature and understanding of all of the process and following all the requirements to the letter. International relationships require you to exert extra effort in this regard.

[ScottThuy 140]

I was recently engaged in South Vietnam, our Khmer ceremony was the same as a marriage, except we have no license from government. We call each other husband in wife in our letters to each other or on the phone. I too will shortly send in my k1, I hope it's not a problem either, I will have my Lawyer address it if he thinks it necessary. I think it comforts us emotionally to call each other husband and wife. Think about it, we live several thousand miles apart and these are some of darkest days waiting for some stranger to decide our fate. I would think or at least hope the Consulates would take that into consideration if our applications show no sign of fraud. Good luck my friend.

An affidavit accompanying the emails that explains the relationship and the use of the terms, could prevent a huge problem due to misperception.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

An affidavit accompanying the emails that explains the relationship and the use of the terms, could prevent a huge problem due to misperception.

I agree, I just emailed my lawyer to address this. it's not being cute.I don't know what pertains to a Pakistan Engagement but my Khmer engagement is the same one that a married couple would go though. I will tell her to stop if it hurts are chances in our Process

[Nik+Heather 121]

I agree, I just emailed my lawyer to address this. it's not being cute.I don't know what pertains to a Pakistan Engagement but my Khmer engagement is the same one that a married couple would go though. I will tell her to stop if it hurts are chances in our Process

It can. As Gary says, it HAS hurt other people's processes because they called each other husband/wife when they weren't married. You need to deliberately create "good" evidence of your relationship.

being engaged to someone there are times that joking or not u see the future ahead and sometimes that slips... and i alerady know the legal meaning of marriage andwhy it has weight in regards to ownership of property or monetary things ...

IF they ask about it, THIS is your answer. Now that the damage is done (you already sent it in) I think you're approaching this in the best way possible. I know in our wedding, there was a specific phrase that we had about the ceremony just being the public declaration of the "marriage which has already taken place in our hearts" You should help prepare her with an answer, but if they don't mention this one thing in one email, SHE certainly shouldn't bring it to their attention.

good luck.

[Rob and Jill 82]

Stop lying and saying your fiancee is your wife, because she is not.

That is a bit harsh in my opinion. I wouldn't go around calling people a liar. My fiance calls me "the wife" on occassion when he is talking to other people. Not being married on paper does not mean that people do not already consider themselves married spiritually, or that they are not already married in their hearts. How do you suppose people were married before there was some government clerk to tell them it was "official"?

I know in our wedding, there was a specific phrase that we had about the ceremony just being the public declaration of the "marriage which has already taken place in our hearts"

Case and point.

Edited February 19, 2010 by Rob and Jill

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

has anyone been giving heaches for this.. first hand experience please if you have.. and also is there a process in place to

let's say fight them on this issue cuz technically where is the legal documents and marriage certs that they can produce that says "yes you are married"...

Yes, people have had visas denied for seemingly minor things like this, usually at consulates in high fraud countries. They don't need to provide any legal documents that prove you are married because they can say you essentially admitted to it in your evidence.

Ok, in all honesty, no reasonable person would assume you were married because of this. You provided affidavits stating you were free to marry, and no rationale person would think that a pet name used in an email provided any sort of substantive proof to the contrary. Otherwise, they could accuse you of lying about your name because your fiancee referred to you as "honey". More often, when a consulate denies a K1 because they say the couple is already married, it's because they provided evidence that an actual wedding ceremony took place, like photos of the ceremony. If they pick out something like a reference in an email to use as a reason for denying the visa then they are already intent on denying, and just need a reason to write on the 221 notice.

If there's anything working in your favor, it's that you included this evidence with the petition rather than submitting it at the consulate. It's very unlikely that USCIS would deny the petition because of this. In fact, USCIS may not even look at your emails because it's not the sort of evidence needed for a petition approval. By strict interpretation of the law, consulates are are not supposed to deny a visa for reasons which were known to USCIS when the petition was approved. However, if the consulate doesn't like your case then they could focus on this point, and press hard for further evidence at the interview. Be prepared to address it thoroughly at the interview, if it does come up.

[Bernie C 24]

As you have read above, this is a case where everyone has there own opinions and there is not a true and correct answer.

My finacee and I had a full blown Vietnamese Tradtional wedding with over 350 guests. We did not register the marriage in VN and applied for K-1. I even submitted photo's from the picture day in her wedding gown and from the day of the ceremony and reception as proof of relationship in both my I129F packet and at the interview.

I did however explain all this very clearly in our I129F petition. The events were also included in our timeline.

She has called me husband since that very day. HOWEVER, we did practice for the interview and were prepared for being drawn in during questioning. The CO even asked her about her HUSBAND, but her reply to the CO was, he is my fiance - not my husband.

How it is perceived at the consulate is purely in the eyes of the CO. This is one of the problems. Maybe we were lucky or maybe my explanations and truthfulness got us through. No way to know without knowing what goes on in the mind of the CO. They are all different and all have their own agendas.

Bottom Line - There is no right or wrong answer here. If you are not married you are not married, however its what the CO thinks that matters and no one knows that but them.

Best to be as safe as possible and refrian from using certain words and terms at interview and on paper but it is what it is.

Now that is my opinion - unfortunaltely I dont think it answers your question or provides much more info than you already had!

You have my Best Wishes and Good Luck to you both!

[firefly777 2]

thanks everyone... i appreciate the comments...

as to baron555... you know what man stop passing ur judgement about others and calling me or my fiancee a liar.

Who made you judge and jury of this forum or anywhere else for that matter.

i've known my fiancee for a long long time and she's a distant relative and not some girl i met randomly online through russian mail order bride system.

and i specifically told her I want my wedding here in california so my friends and family from usa and europe could attend and that's what we'll do.

but i been in love with her long enough that in our heads and spiritually we feel "married"... now if some strict CO makes a big deal of reading that single sentence then

i guess that is what we'll have to deal with and we will fight it truthfully. I have no desire to cheat nor lie and jeopardize my chance

of being with my love. And my story is not the only one that's like this. The ones that lie are the the ones that stay quiet and keep their

fingers crossed that all goes well. I brought it up here because I wanted to ask for some good advice from those such

as the gentleman above that even had a full blown traditional wedding in Vietnam on how they dealt with it.

Before this lecture gets longer I originally stated that i pretty much "f-ed up" and wanted some good advice or first hand experience. I didn't post

so I would have you or others pass judgement and call me a liar... stupid? maybe cuz i shouldn't have sent it but i rushed and the whole excitement

of last minute stuff and it slipped through... but i'm not a liar nor have i been when my family and i came to usa 20 years ago as war refugees.

Edited February 20, 2010 by firefly777

[VanessaTony 3,567]

thanks everyone... i appreciate the comments...

as to baron555... you know what man stop passing ur judgement about others and calling me or my fiancee a liar.

Who made you judge and jury of this forum or anywhere else for that matter.

i've known my fiancee for a long long time and she's a distant relative and not some girl i met randomly online through russian mail order bride system.

and i specifically told her I want my wedding here in california so my friends and family from usa and europe could attend and that's what we'll do.

but i been in love with her long enough that in our heads and spiritually we feel "married"... now if some strict CO makes a big deal of reading that single sentence then

i guess that is what we'll have to deal with and we will fight it truthfully. I have no desire to cheat nor lie and jeopardize my chance

of being with my love. And my story is not the only one that's like this. The ones that lie are the the ones that stay quiet and keep their

fingers crossed that all goes well. I brought it up here because I wanted to ask for some good advice from those such

as the gentleman above that even had a full blown traditional wedding in Vietnam on how they dealt with it.

Before this lecture gets longer I originally stated that i pretty much "f-ed up" and wanted some good advice or first hand experience. I didn't post

so I would have you or others pass judgement and call me a liar... stupid? maybe cuz i shouldn't have sent it but i rushed and the whole excitement

of last minute stuff and it slipped through... but i'm not a liar nor have i been when my family and i came to usa 20 years ago as war refugees.

I think you just need to wait and see, which is what you've obviously come to realise.

While Baron could have been nicer about it, I suspect he's simply got an issue with people calling people "my mrs" or "wife" etc when they're not. I don't believe it's strictly a lie but it isn't true either... it's more like a nickname.. and some people find it offensive that the title is used when it shouldn't be and think it should be more sacred than that and that it makes it less special when it's used regularly and incorrectly. That's my personal opinion as well, but just like some people like cats, I'm a dog person. To each his own.

My husband (then fiance) and I regularly referred to each other as W2B, or H2B but never actually as husband or wife, because no matter how much we felt it, it simply wasn't true. I think it makes it more special now when I refer to his as my husband, and for weeks if I heard him call me his wife (like on the phone to people) it made me giggle girlishly because it was just so great to finally be able to say it... in fact it still does.

It's a shame the consulate doesn't see it as a nickname, they might instead see it as you accidentally slipping and sending something to state the truth... though why you'd bother with a fiancee visa when the benefits of a spousal are much better (working immediately on entry) when you're actually married obviously doesn't enter their thinking.

State it as someone else said it, and like you said it above. In your hearts you already feel married and are looking forward to the piece of paper so the rest of the world can have proof of your love... etc etc. Think positively. If anything that little "slip" should say to them how close you two really are and make sure at the interview if they ever call you her husband that she corrects them and says "fiance".

Edited February 20, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony