Likely to receive AOS approval

[BobInGeorgia 0]

Brought my 23-year-old fiancée from the Philippines here on a K-1 visa. Niece of my best friend’s wife. We get along fine, but it is obvious that she either has no romantic interest in me or has some issues. My friend suggests that we go ahead and marry anyway because given time she may change (her last relationship lasted 2 years; it was 3 months before they even kissed).

She has been living with this friend who lives just a mile away. My guess is that if we marry she will continue to live there indefinitely, though at some point she will have to spend some time in my home to learn about me so she can game the AOS interview questions.

I’m posting because I am concerned about that AOS interview that is likely to occur around 6 months after we marry. Maybe she will fall in love with me in time and my concerns are moot, but I believe it is most likely that she won’t. Do you folks think she will be approved given: (1) we will have had no formal wedding (or pictures), (2) our co-mingling of finances will be limited, (3) she can probably answer most of their basic questions about me, but (4) we have functioned as just friends, which may or may not be apparent to our questioners.

Incidentally, I believe I need not be concerned about this being marriage fraud since my motives are proper and I don’t know beyond a doubt that hers are not.

Thank you.

[sachinky 465]

Did you even have an actual relationship before she entered on the K-1? I can't imagine going through this hellish process for someone who had no interest in me.

Have you gotten married yet? When did she enter the U.S.?

If she is in fact marrying you solely for the GC, I hope her AOS is denied.

Edited January 22, 2010 by sachinky

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Brought my 23-year-old fiancée from the Philippines here on a K-1 visa. Niece of my best friend’s wife. We get along fine, but it is obvious that she either has no romantic interest in me or has some issues. My friend suggests that we go ahead and marry anyway because given time she may change (her last relationship lasted 2 years; it was 3 months before they even kissed).

She has been living with this friend who lives just a mile away. My guess is that if we marry she will continue to live there indefinitely, though at some point she will have to spend some time in my home to learn about me so she can game the AOS interview questions.

I’m posting because I am concerned about that AOS interview that is likely to occur around 6 months after we marry. Maybe she will fall in love with me in time and my concerns are moot, but I believe it is most likely that she won’t. Do you folks think she will be approved given: (1) we will have had no formal wedding (or pictures), (2) our co-mingling of finances will be limited, (3) she can probably answer most of their basic questions about me, but (4) we have functioned as just friends, which may or may not be apparent to our questioners.

Incidentally, I believe I need not be concerned about this being marriage fraud since my motives are proper and I don’t know beyond a doubt that hers are not.

Thank you.

From what you posted, warning signs are going off in my head. "My guess", "maybe she will fall in love", "likely she won't".

Marry for "love" not the hope things may get better. I am not stating this from a romantic view, but from a financial standpoint.

If you marry this woman, you are responsible for her, for a very long time.

(Affidavit of support, martial support, and probably divorce proceedings (which does not end the affidavit of support).

Since she is not with you now, that is a pretty good sign she doesn't want to be with you at all - I will not speculate if she wants to remain here in the US.

Marriage fraud would not come back on you, unless you know that the marriage is a sham to begin with, and your just getting married for immigration purposes.

However, if you do not marry her, then nothing is considered "fraud" on your part.

You have your answer in your own post - Tell the woman you do not wish to "trial balloon" the relationship, and do not marry her.

She has to return home before her I-94 expires.

Now - if you tell her this, and her attitude changes 180 degrees, that is very telling also.

(BTW - the K-1 is suppose to be used to get married, not "try out" the relationship)

[Wis-Can 0]

This makes me sad to read this. You deserve better...to be with someone who wants to be with you. As Bobby+Umit said, the K-1 is not a try and see if you like it. Its for two people that love one another and want to be together as husband and wife in marriage. Life is to short to wait and see if maybe she might fall in love with you. Best of luck to you.

Edited January 22, 2010 by Wis-Can

[sachinky 465]

If you haven't married already, thank your lucky stars that you haven't. Have her leave the U.S. before her I94 expires.

Dude, seriously. Reread your post. Your answer should be obvious.

[john_and_marlene 162]

My friend suggests that we go ahead and marry anyway because given time she may change

Your friend is not giving you advice based on what is in your best interest. He is giving you advice based on what is in his family's best interest (niece of his wife remaining in the US).

Do not waste your time/effort/finances/life to achieve their goals at your expense. Cut your losses and start over with someone that truly wants to make a life with you.

[F & J 21]

Wis-Can is right!

If you believe that she doesn't love you now, that may or may not change. Is the reason she's not living with you a matter of modesty? If it is, that's understandable. If it's not, that's a different story - one that you should be very wary of. Does she just want a green card?

Don't sell yourself short... You deserve someone who has genuine feelings for you. What happens if she doesn't fall in love with you? Better not to get married and send her home than risk spending the rest of your life with someone who doesn't care for you. Marriage shouldn't be like that.

Don't do anything you'll regret in the future. Don't get married if you're not absolutely sure.

Edited January 22, 2010 by Fatima and Jim

[Muhammad n Maryam 1]

From what you posted, warning signs are going off in my head. "My guess", "maybe she will fall in love", "likely she won't".

Marry for "love" not the hope things may get better. I am not stating this from a romantic view, but from a financial standpoint.

If you marry this woman, you are responsible for her, for a very long time.

(Affidavit of support, martial support, and probably divorce proceedings (which does not end the affidavit of support).

Since she is not with you now, that is a pretty good sign she doesn't want to be with you at all - I will not speculate if she wants to remain here in the US.

Marriage fraud would not come back on you, unless you know that the marriage is a sham to begin with, and your just getting married for immigration purposes.

However, if you do not marry her, then nothing is considered "fraud" on your part.

You have your answer in your own post - Tell the woman you do not wish to "trial balloon" the relationship, and do not marry her.

She has to return home before her I-94 expires.

Now - if you tell her this, and her attitude changes 180 degrees, that is very telling also.

(BTW - the K-1 is suppose to be used to get married, not "try out" the relationship)

I second that ! And besides you deserve better

[Anh map 2,098]

Brought my 23-year-old fiancée from the Philippines here on a K-1 visa. Niece of my best friend’s wife. We get along fine, but it is obvious that she either has no romantic interest in me or has some issues. My friend suggests that we go ahead and marry anyway because given time she may change (her last relationship lasted 2 years; it was 3 months before they even kissed).

She has been living with this friend who lives just a mile away. My guess is that if we marry she will continue to live there indefinitely, though at some point she will have to spend some time in my home to learn about me so she can game the AOS interview questions.

I’m posting because I am concerned about that AOS interview that is likely to occur around 6 months after we marry. Maybe she will fall in love with me in time and my concerns are moot, but I believe it is most likely that she won’t. Do you folks think she will be approved given: (1) we will have had no formal wedding (or pictures), (2) our co-mingling of finances will be limited, (3) she can probably answer most of their basic questions about me, but (4) we have functioned as just friends, which may or may not be apparent to our questioners.

Incidentally, I believe I need not be concerned about this being marriage fraud since my motives are proper and I don’t know beyond a doubt that hers are not.

Thank you.

From what you describe I share your concerns and would feel hesitant as well.

[ravenbow 0]

I am curious to know what your conversations were like before she moved here. Obviously something was amiss or there wasnt clear communication between the two of you. You should sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with this girl and come to an understanding of what her and your intentions and expectations are. A newlywed couple dont just live in seperate houses, and they dont have seperate lives. What was the situation when you went to visit her in Phil? I dont have all the details, but it seems from your post that she doesn't have any interest or intentions of being with you as a wife, and if that is the case, you need to act before you get married and she becomes your responsibility financially and she can take half of what you have. I wish you luck and sorry to hear about your situation, but better to find out now before its too late. I would be more concerned about the emotional stress rather than the leagal issues, if your intentions to bring her here were valid, then you dont have to worry about fraud. But she may have to worry about that.

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

#######?

Have you spent time with her before she came to the US? You must've met, right? That's a requirement for a K-1. Do you guys speak the same language? This sounds like a bad blind date gone bad.

Wake up brotha. SHE IS USING YOU FOR A GREENCARD. And your friend is an a-hole who only wants to make his wifey happy. He doesn't care about what happens to you. "She will fall in love with you?"... ummm yeah.

You know what you need to do, you just need the balls to do it. Tell her: Adios baby!!!!

[TBoneTX 45,319]

From what you describe I share your concerns and would feel hesitant as well.

Si, man. In addition, please be reminded that marriage (to anyone) is a lot more permanent than most people expect, even upon its ending.

[NCWife 0]

First of all, I feel bad for you and I am sorry that this is happening to you. From your post, it seems that she is not interested in you at all. You already aware of all that and you can't be thinking about marrying her and how to pass the AOS interview! My advice is to tell her that you can't marry someone who does not love you. Tell your best friend that you don't want to make a mistake and ruin your happiness by marrying someone who does not love you. If he is truly your best friend, I am sure he will understand. You have to put yourself ahead of everyone!

All the best!!

Cheers.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

Brought my 23-year-old fiancée from the Philippines here on a K-1 visa. Niece of my best friend’s wife. We get along fine, but it is obvious that she either has no romantic interest in me or has some issues. My friend suggests that we go ahead and marry anyway because given time she may change (her last relationship lasted 2 years; it was 3 months before they even kissed).

She has been living with this friend who lives just a mile away. My guess is that if we marry she will continue to live there indefinitely, though at some point she will have to spend some time in my home to learn about me so she can game the AOS interview questions.

I’m posting because I am concerned about that AOS interview that is likely to occur around 6 months after we marry. Maybe she will fall in love with me in time and my concerns are moot, but I believe it is most likely that she won’t. Do you folks think she will be approved given: (1) we will have had no formal wedding (or pictures), (2) our co-mingling of finances will be limited, (3) she can probably answer most of their basic questions about me, but (4) we have functioned as just friends, which may or may not be apparent to our questioners.

Incidentally, I believe I need not be concerned about this being marriage fraud since my motives are proper and I don’t know beyond a doubt that hers are not.

Thank you.

RUN!!!

Do it as fast as you can, and never look back. She's "just not that into you."

[Calypso 464]

You should do what's logical.

Can you stand this situation any longer?

Remember that marriage isn't trial-and-error.

I can hardly believe you were willing to go through the K1 visa process just for this.

Besides, do you imagine sleeping each night with a possibly frigid woman beside you?