Since when

[rebeccajo 14]

Or is it only a problem if the person being corrected is somebody 'special'?

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=185655

[LaL 418]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

[Otto 83]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

It does seem to (lately) have become a 'traveling debate' though - showing up in multiple threads...

[LaL 418]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

It does seem to (lately) have become a 'traveling debate' though - showing up in multiple threads...

maybe, I wouldnt know. I know in the thread linked above - push and others are wrong, and that was hardly fleshed out because it was closed.

[rebeccajo 14]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

It does seem to (lately) have become a 'traveling debate' though - showing up in multiple threads...

I think it's safe to say that both of us check each others posts - if that's what is being alluded to here.

[mox 298]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

Quoted for truth.

[LaL 418]

Isn't that the way it should be?? There isn't one end all be all expert at all on VJ!

[rebeccajo 14]

Isn't that the way it should be?? There isn't one end all be all expert at all on VJ!

And....

Those who are looked up too for advice shouldn't be sticking their opinions out there as if they are facts.

Look ...

We all have opinions about this-and-that with immigration. The fact of the matter is that a lot of times those opinions have nothing to do with reality.

I think there is an onus on those who are regarded as post leaders to keep those opinions in check. Especially if it's going to needlessly terrify a member.

Edited March 20, 2009 by rebeccajo

[rebeccajo 14]

Wm - the "debate" in that thread isn't the problem. Debate is what we all USED to do on this forum to learn about this process. Ego needs to be checked. That thread was muddied only because of it.

Quoted for truth.

I can assure you that this has ZERO to do with my ego.

My posts would have been the same to anyone else when it comes to the topic of child support and the financials.

And I've got probably about - oh - 50 threads on the subject to back that up.

[mox 298]

Since the question was asked...

Since when is it right for a few members to descend on a perfectly legitimate thread, only to nuke it into oblivion because they can't let their nemesis voice an opinion or because they haven't worded their advice in the exact precise way in which they would have done it? (and I'm not singling out one individual here...I can think of a handful right off the top of my head.)

I'm so sick and tired of seeing the same few people, over and over, who can't bear to let someone else get in the last word no matter how wrong or right they seem to be. And we go through the same old cycle over and over and over. The thread is locked to disappear into oblivion, and the instigators get off scott free so they can go off and pollute another thread.

Moderators: why is this allowed to happen? Please don't tell me that any action is taken behind the scenes, because I keep seeing the SAME players day after day after day, nuking thread after thread after thread. Locking a thread that was begun by a person seeking help in the immigration process is NOT helpful. Deleting disruptive posts and handing out bans to the people who keep de-railing our threads seems like it would be a lot more helpful.

But really, it shouldn't be about the mods. We're all adults here. It would be nice to see some more self-control being displayed by those who consider themselves resident VJ experts. If people want to behave like Lord of the Flies, I highly recommend Expats.

Edited March 20, 2009 by mox

[rebeccajo 14]

Mox...

I guess it might depend on what you think the function of the forums should be.

If you want a place where people pop on, ask a question, and someone spits out an answer - then that's a different place than the VJ i remember.

There are often times layers to a question. Take the thread in question - the OP asked a question (a regularly loaded question I might add) and you get the usual round of naysayers rendering a moral judgment.

This kind of scenario can be averted if 'post leaders' come into the thread and squelch the 'moralizing' with facts.

If someone who is well thought of decides to also insert false, random theories about the subject, that actually does their reputation no good. It would be nice to think that we could question those opinions when they are clearly that....just an opinion.

IMO - there was enough conjecturing and false information going on in that thread to hurt the OP and future readers. If you read back you can see there was no 'attack' - there were questions. The thread was not NUKED. It's just that certain people don't want their judgment questioned.

THAT is bad for the forums. Really bad.

Edited March 20, 2009 by rebeccajo

[sara..... 371]

what im gonna say prolly wont make much difference but i want to say it..........immigration is emotionally taxing, when a thread becomes rude and off the wall i click out cuz i have enough to handle with out trying to read past the insulting posts...and im sure that in that post some place there is the information that i was looking for some place!....there are a few that will post insulting post even if there is no reason to.........i dont understand that...... this site i thought was to help us all thru this process...............that being said, i really enjoy reading thru the post where they are joking back and forth, its the reply that are meant to inflict pain and or the person is just being the bully in the play ground that i object to..........

well thats my two cents worth

sara

Edited March 20, 2009 by estadia

[rebeccajo 14]

what im gonna say prolly wont make much difference but i want to say it..........immigration is emotionally taxing, when a thread becomes rude and off the wall i click out cuz i have enough to handle with out trying to read past the insulting posts...and im sure that in that post some place there is the information that i was looking for some place!....there are a few that will post insulting post even if there is no reason to.........i dont understand that...... this site i thought was to help us all thru this process...............that being said, i really enjoy reading thru the post where they are joking back and forth, its the reply that are meant to inflict pain and or the person is just being the bully in the play ground that i object to..........

well thats my two cents worth

sara

Sara -

I appreciate your words and I take them to heart.

When I was first here, I did post differently than I do now. I was more friendly and took more time with my words.

After a while, many of the persons I journeyed with left the forums - just natural attrition. I became less "known" for our personal journey and more known for my work on the forums. I put less of my personality into the writings and tried to stick more to the facts. I did this partly because I didn't have the time, and also because without the 'players' who knew me more personally I found myself subject to more and more attacks because of my short timeline.

I tried several times to leave this community because of hurtful words that were written to me about the timeline. But time and time again I was drawn back. I agree with you 100% that this journey is a stressful one. I would read things that I knew I could answer (posted by people in stress) and I knew that I could help them. I knew I could not help with every question but I knew I had areas of expertise. I cared about the cases - not about WHAT I know of the process.

*sigh*

That is still, to this day, my goal. I don't write words in the forums because I want to be RIGHT. I do what I do because I want people to have what I have - to be together - to be reunited and happy. If they are given false information; or wrong answers; or just downright blowhard conjecturing loaded up on their plate - to me that is stressful. That won't help them with their journey.

So with me - yeah - it's personal.

[mox 298]

Mox...

I guess it might depend on what you think the function of the forums should be.

If you want a place where people pop on, ask a question, and someone spits out an answer - then that's a different place than the VJ i remember.

I agree.

There are often times layers to a question. Take the thread in question - the OP asked a question (a regularly loaded question I might add) and you get the usual round of naysayers rendering a moral judgment.

This kind of scenario can be averted if 'post leaders' come into the thread and squelch the 'moralizing' with facts.

If someone who is well thought of decides to also insert false, random theories about the subject, that actually does their reputation no good.

I too have a problem with moralizing. But nuking a thread into oblivion to make a point is even more of a problem. There's nothing wrong with pointing out how much of a ####### another poster is being, but at some point (generic) you need to back off so that the thread isn't trashed. The OP and other readers should be intelligent enough to know where advice ends and moralizing begins, and if they're not then no amount of rationalizing is going to help them anyway. You've been around long enough to know you're just not going to be able to 'squelch' people who think they're right. All they're going to do is go back and forth for as long as you go back and forth with them, or until the thread is locked.

[English Muffin 59]

Would someone please tell me what a 'post leader' is?

Edited March 20, 2009 by English Muffin