Abused since Arrival to US PLEASE HELP

[kevinbui86 0]

Hi guys, i have a friend who just came here from vietnam with his son. his wife filed a I-130 to bring him over with a IR-1 visa. since he came here (7 months ago) she has been abusing him everyday. she would kick him and his son out of the house all the time and they would have to come spent the night at my house. she would not feed the son. she is the step mom. she kept all his paperwork (green card) threaten to call the police and tell them that he hit her (police tends to believe the female, no offense ladies). she threaten to deport him and his son back to vietnam if he dont listen to her. last month there was a big snow storm, and he was kicked out of the house. he and his son had to wander around in the streets. this lady is pure evil. anyways, last week i help him get a restraining order from this crazy woman. the judge granted him a temporary restraining order. he got a police escort to go get his stuff back. however, she told the police officer that this is all his stuff (2 pair of jeans and shirts) everything else belongs to her, she bought it. and she claims that she dont have his paper work.

Now, can you guys offer any advice for this poor man? its bad enough he cant speak english and dont have any family over here. he dont have a place to live (temporary staying at my place), trying to find a local shelter for him. is this a violation of the I-864?..when she filled out the sponsorship. is there anything USCIS can do about it? all aid out there that can help this man? any comments would help you guys

[Dakine 26]

Hi guys, i have a friend who just came here from vietnam with his son. his wife filed a I-130 to bring him over with a IR-1 visa. since he came here (7 months ago) she has been abusing him everyday. she would kick him and his son out of the house all the time and they would have to come spent the night at my house. she would not feed the son. she is the step mom. she kept all his paperwork (green card) threaten to call the police and tell them that he hit her (police tends to believe the female, no offense ladies). she threaten to deport him and his son back to vietnam if he dont listen to her. last month there was a big snow storm, and he was kicked out of the house. he and his son had to wander around in the streets. this lady is pure evil. anyways, last week i help him get a restraining order from this crazy woman. the judge granted him a temporary restraining order. he got a police escort to go get his stuff back. however, she told the police officer that this is all his stuff (2 pair of jeans and shirts) everything else belongs to her, she bought it. and she claims that she dont have his paper work.

Now, can you guys offer any advice for this poor man? its bad enough he cant speak english and dont have any family over here. he dont have a place to live (temporary staying at my place), trying to find a local shelter for him. is this a violation of the I-864?..when she filled out the sponsorship. is there anything USCIS can do about it? all aid out there that can help this man? any comments would help you guys

If they came on a IR-1/IR-2 he has a 10 year GC and unless he does something illegal the wife cannot get him deported. Sounds like the best thing is for him and the child to leave the wife and go on their own. If he has relatives ANYWHERE in the US go with them.

[kevinbui86 0]

Hi guys, i have a friend who just came here from vietnam with his son. his wife filed a I-130 to bring him over with a IR-1 visa. since he came here (7 months ago) she has been abusing him everyday. she would kick him and his son out of the house all the time and they would have to come spent the night at my house. she would not feed the son. she is the step mom. she kept all his paperwork (green card) threaten to call the police and tell them that he hit her (police tends to believe the female, no offense ladies). she threaten to deport him and his son back to vietnam if he dont listen to her. last month there was a big snow storm, and he was kicked out of the house. he and his son had to wander around in the streets. this lady is pure evil. anyways, last week i help him get a restraining order from this crazy woman. the judge granted him a temporary restraining order. he got a police escort to go get his stuff back. however, she told the police officer that this is all his stuff (2 pair of jeans and shirts) everything else belongs to her, she bought it. and she claims that she dont have his paper work.

Now, can you guys offer any advice for this poor man? its bad enough he cant speak english and dont have any family over here. he dont have a place to live (temporary staying at my place), trying to find a local shelter for him. is this a violation of the I-864?..when she filled out the sponsorship. is there anything USCIS can do about it? all aid out there that can help this man? any comments would help you guys

If they came on a IR-1/IR-2 he has a 10 year GC and unless he does something illegal the wife cannot get him deported. Sounds like the best thing is for him and the child to leave the wife and go on their own. If he has relatives ANYWHERE in the US go with them.

he has NO relatives at all in the US. can he file a complaint to USCIS saying that she didnt fulfill her obligation?

[meowmeowmeow 1]

where do you live? there are local agencies that may help. also, are there any vietnamese community centers, places of worship etc, around? i would hit up some charity groups as well that would help...i dont know any off the top of my head, but try googling...

i found these for now:

http://immigration.freedomblogging.com/category/vietnam/

http://www.lawhelp.org/

http://www.freeadvice.com/

It might help to have those police reports as well handy when you go to a place for help? Hopefully, they can get away from her and renew their lives...that's very sad.

Good luck!

[Dakine 26]

Hi guys, i have a friend who just came here from vietnam with his son. his wife filed a I-130 to bring him over with a IR-1 visa. since he came here (7 months ago) she has been abusing him everyday. she would kick him and his son out of the house all the time and they would have to come spent the night at my house. she would not feed the son. she is the step mom. she kept all his paperwork (green card) threaten to call the police and tell them that he hit her (police tends to believe the female, no offense ladies). she threaten to deport him and his son back to vietnam if he dont listen to her. last month there was a big snow storm, and he was kicked out of the house. he and his son had to wander around in the streets. this lady is pure evil. anyways, last week i help him get a restraining order from this crazy woman. the judge granted him a temporary restraining order. he got a police escort to go get his stuff back. however, she told the police officer that this is all his stuff (2 pair of jeans and shirts) everything else belongs to her, she bought it. and she claims that she dont have his paper work.

Now, can you guys offer any advice for this poor man? its bad enough he cant speak english and dont have any family over here. he dont have a place to live (temporary staying at my place), trying to find a local shelter for him. is this a violation of the I-864?..when she filled out the sponsorship. is there anything USCIS can do about it? all aid out there that can help this man? any comments would help you guys

If they came on a IR-1/IR-2 he has a 10 year GC and unless he does something illegal the wife cannot get him deported. Sounds like the best thing is for him and the child to leave the wife and go on their own. If he has relatives ANYWHERE in the US go with them.

he has NO relatives at all in the US. can he file a complaint to USCIS saying that she didnt fulfill her obligation?

I doubt if USCIS can do anything.

She'd have to pay back the money he got if he became a public charge. I don't think social services will accept application for assistance to green card holders. Have to be a US citizen. Not sure about that but that's what a social worker here told me once.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I hear the haters logging in now to mock and taunt. So cruel.

[MsMariah 0]

Sadly, most domestic abuse shelters don't accept men. And Haole is right from my understanding, he isn't eligible for assistance. However, he can at least go and ask, and they might be able to better lead him in a direction of help, at least the caseworkers are more aware of other agencies which help. About her keeping his papers, isn't that ... something he can report to USCIS? They should be able to replace his documents, and sometimes people can get a court appointed "assistant" to help people navigate these types of things.

I'm sorry that your friend is in this horrible situation and I wish him and his son the best of luck, may you be blessed for helping them.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

cal 911

[-B&T- 1]

What about contacting the Consulate of Vietnam maybe he can call and ask for some help?He doesn't have to stay in that situation esp.that there is a child.I hope they will get through this difficult situation.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

moved from ot to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

[tallcoolone 102]

Sadly, most domestic abuse shelters don't accept men.

Sad but true, the US Court system and Family court and most shelters are all geared toward woman in the USA.

He gonna have a long uphill battle to stay in USA

If he was female and the Petitioner was a Male and abusing her, then there would be many options.

[Old Dominion 26]

He can contact the nearest Catholic Charities office and the three of you could meet with a case worker to get started on a solution to the problem at hand. That organization has all kinds of resources available to immigrants no matter what their faith might be -- and there is no fee. Also, the local Legal Aid Society typically handles a lot of immigrant problems. It is important to strike a match to help light the way for his and his son's future.

As to USCIS offering any help, they cannot. With his 10-year green card, he can't be deported. Also, his wife cannot be forced to provide financial support. But, it may be found that he is entitled to some help from social services as he is a legal immigrant. Different states have different social services policies. He is eligible to work, and needs to get some kind of job even if it is minimum wage. He'll need to forget any idea of getting revenge from his wife - her turn will come.

This is a very curious situation. How in the world did they ever come together? Is she from Vietnam? ???????

Edited March 20, 2009 by Old Dominion

[kevinbui86 0]

He can contact the nearest Catholic Charities office and the three of you could meet with a case worker to get started on a solution to the problem at hand. That organization has all kinds of resources available to immigrants no matter what their faith might be -- and there is no fee. Also, the local Legal Aid Society typically handles a lot of immigrant problems. It is important to strike a match to help light the way for his and his son's future.

As to USCIS offering any help, they cannot. With his 10-year green card, he can't be deported. Also, his wife cannot be forced to provide financial support. But, it may be found that he is entitled to some help from social services as he is a legal immigrant. Different states have different social services policies. He is eligible to work, and needs to get some kind of job even if it is minimum wage. He'll need to forget any idea of getting revenge from his wife - her turn will come.

This is a very curious situation. How in the world did they ever come together? Is she from Vietnam? ???????

they live in the same village and her relatives introduce her to him. thanks everyones for the helpful comments

[hargis 0]

Hi guys, i have a friend who just came here from vietnam with his son. his wife filed a I-130 to bring him over with a IR-1 visa. since he came here (7 months ago) she has been abusing him everyday. she would kick him and his son out of the house all the time and they would have to come spent the night at my house. she would not feed the son. she is the step mom. she kept all his paperwork (green card) threaten to call the police and tell them that he hit her (police tends to believe the female, no offense ladies). she threaten to deport him and his son back to vietnam if he dont listen to her. last month there was a big snow storm, and he was kicked out of the house. he and his son had to wander around in the streets. this lady is pure evil. anyways, last week i help him get a restraining order from this crazy woman. the judge granted him a temporary restraining order. he got a police escort to go get his stuff back. however, she told the police officer that this is all his stuff (2 pair of jeans and shirts) everything else belongs to her, she bought it. and she claims that she dont have his paper work.

Now, can you guys offer any advice for this poor man? its bad enough he cant speak english and dont have any family over here. he dont have a place to live (temporary staying at my place), trying to find a local shelter for him. is this a violation of the I-864?..when she filled out the sponsorship. is there anything USCIS can do about it? all aid out there that can help this man? any comments would help you guys

I would encourage him to file a complaint on the grounds of not fulfilling the signed support agreement I-864. I mean what good is it if the people can just skip being held to that? Why are we here even signing it if it means nothing?

[keithNvaleria 0]

This is the United States of America. It matters not, that he is a man and she is a woman. Spousal support is not dictated by gender. He should go to every agency from county welfare, to Catholic Diocese, to Vietnamese community support groups. He should also go to legal aid agencys....as there are quite a few lawyers who will help a person in need...pro bono or at least on a contingency. He should apply for benefits and then let the responsable government agencies compel her to pay her share. All of this could possibly been prevented by a longer courtship, but that is water over the damn. I am guessing that part of his problem is that he wants to go back to her and is refusing to do the things he needs to do in order to have stability for he and his child. A classic case of co-dependency allowing for repeated abuse. Being his friend means that you should help AND challenge him to do the right thing. A good friend helps and doesn't "carry" a person.

Edited March 20, 2009 by keithNvaleria