I'm ready to get out of this marriage -- separated

[geoffreybeene 0]

There's no long, complicated story here. I'm just ready to end this.

My wife and I have been married for just under two and a half years. We filed for her residency right after we were married, went through the whole process, and got her conditional green card. Well, recently, we separated. She walked out on me, and neither of us have any intention of getting back together. We've already filed to remove her conditional status, but it's delayed (I think everyone's is delayed). We've been waiting several months, and I have no idea when anything is going to happen. I just can't take this anymore.

Being separated has complicated my life immensely, especially my finances and my education. There are tax credits and exemptions I can't claim unless we file jointly. I haven't been able to get my student financial aid because of our marriage, and as a result I've had to drop out of college. I don't know when I'll be able to go back, if ever. I can't have a relationship with anyone else because I'm still married. My life has been completely, utterly derailed for this girl, and that, combined with the stress of not knowing how to deal with USCIS is destroying me. I was the one who enabled her to stay in this country. I was the one who went through all the paperwork. I got all the photographs, and documentation, and copies. I was the one who handled everything for removing her conditional status. When she has a problem, I figure everything out for her. I traded my freedom for hers. I just can't be the one to do everything for her anymore.

I wish my wife all the best. I want her to be able to stay in this country and be happy. There are no hard feelings between us; we've moved on. But I just can't take this anymore. I need to cut these ties to be able to get on with my own life. I just can't, because I'm concerned about her and what will happen to her.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. Maybe I need to know that she'll be able to complete the residency process on her own and won't have to leave the country. Maybe I just need someone to tell me to do it, and get this over with. Maybe I just needed to vent, and type all that stuff that I haven't said to anyone else.

I don't know. I'm just ready to move on with my life, and lift this immense weight from my shoulders.

[Otto 83]

Best of luck to you (both)...

[Brad and Vika 129]

I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. Maybe I need to know that she'll be able to complete the residency process on her own and won't have to leave the country. Maybe I just need someone to tell me to do it, and get this over with. Maybe I just needed to vent, and type all that stuff that I haven't said to anyone else.

I will defer to others with more knowledge on this subject, but I believe that if she can prove she married for the right reasons and the marraige was valid, she can proceed with the process on her own. I know of two women who finished the process post divorce.

[Dakine 26]

These situations happen quite a bit. I think it's do to people not getting to know each other because of different culturals and not getting to know each other that well do to long distance relationships.

Seems like things come to a head about removing condition time.

Safest thing to do is divorce and refile the I-751. Problems may arise when applying for US Citizenship 5 years later.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Depending upon what state you reside in (and how separation is viewed by your courts) there may be no reason to withdraw the currently filed joint I-751. As long as the marriage is not legally terminated prior to adjudication of the application. If you live in one of the few states that regard separation as on an automatic "path" to divorce (New York state comes to mind) then she might want to confer with an immigration attorney.

There's no long, complicated story here. I'm just ready to end this.

My wife and I have been married for just under two and a half years. We filed for her residency right after we were married, went through the whole process, and got her conditional green card. Well, recently, we separated. She walked out on me, and neither of us have any intention of getting back together. We've already filed to remove her conditional status, but it's delayed (I think everyone's is delayed). We've been waiting several months, and I have no idea when anything is going to happen. I just can't take this anymore.

Being separated has complicated my life immensely, especially my finances and my education. There are tax credits and exemptions I can't claim unless we file jointly. I haven't been able to get my student financial aid because of our marriage, and as a result I've had to drop out of college. I don't know when I'll be able to go back, if ever. I can't have a relationship with anyone else because I'm still married. My life has been completely, utterly derailed for this girl, and that, combined with the stress of not knowing how to deal with USCIS is destroying me. I was the one who enabled her to stay in this country. I was the one who went through all the paperwork. I got all the photographs, and documentation, and copies. I was the one who handled everything for removing her conditional status. When she has a problem, I figure everything out for her. I traded my freedom for hers. I just can't be the one to do everything for her anymore.

I wish my wife all the best. I want her to be able to stay in this country and be happy. There are no hard feelings between us; we've moved on. But I just can't take this anymore. I need to cut these ties to be able to get on with my own life. I just can't, because I'm concerned about her and what will happen to her.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. Maybe I need to know that she'll be able to complete the residency process on her own and won't have to leave the country. Maybe I just need someone to tell me to do it, and get this over with. Maybe I just needed to vent, and type all that stuff that I haven't said to anyone else.

I don't know. I'm just ready to move on with my life, and lift this immense weight from my shoulders.

[bhajishah 4]

ahh dont worry there is plenty of bars here to get happy in!!

Sing it garth " OH i got friends in lowww palacases " "where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away" "ILl be okay"

[NatPatBen 3]

Sounds like a rough situation. Hope things work out for you.

[GueraKristina 1]

Ive read other posts where the women can finish the process by themselves. Sounds like you want to maybe... set her on the path without doing it for her anymore. Tell her where to start, maybe do this or do that, and then let her do it. File for divorce... or w/e you guys are going to do, and let her do it. It is now her responcibility, you want the best for her, but you also have to worry about you. She is an adult and if she is really that worried about staying in this country, she will catch on and take care of things herself. Heck maybe you can tell her to come to the site and get advice, starting somewhere is better then no where.

[Mandy P 3]

If you are going to divorce prior to the 3 year requirement then make sure you use an attorney that knows what they are doing.

I'm divorced and my ex husband is going thru hell now because we divorced 1 month early. We married, FOR REAL, and it just didn't work out for us. We had filed to change his status (he was on refugee status before we married and legally residing here in the states). He was even sent the 10 year green card and then asked to surrender it about 2 years after he got it. The lawyer he was using did not file the right forms to change things. Had the lawyer done what he was supposed to everything would have been fine. Just make sure, if you want her to remain in the states, that the correct things are done for it.

My ex husband has a court date on June 10th to determine if he can stay here or if he must go back to his home country. He has been in the USA since he was 16 years old. He's been here longer than he was in his home country and still he is being treated this way.

He was waiting to hear about his appointment to be sworn in as a citizen when he got the letter asking him to surrender his green card. It's horrible.

If you can tough it out until after the 3 year mark it is easier for her. But you can only do what you can do. I was at my wits end and needed out... but I'd have stuck with it a little longer if I'd known all this would happen.

I mean, sometimes marriages just don't work.

[Arthur Roberta 1]

Quote

Being separated has complicated my life immensely, especially my finances and my education. There are tax credits and exemptions I can't claim unless we file jointly. I haven't been able to get my student financial aid because of our marriage, and as a result I've had to drop out of college. I don't know when I'll be able to go back, if ever. I can't have a relationship with anyone else because I'm still married. My life has been completely, utterly derailed for this girl, and that, combined with the stress of not knowing how to deal with USCIS is destroying me. I was the one who enabled her to stay in this country. I was the one who went through all the paperwork. I got all the photographs, and documentation, and copies. I was the one who handled everything for removing her conditional status. When she has a problem, I figure everything out for her. I traded my freedom for hers. I just can't be the one to do everything for her anymore.End Quote

Here is some tough talk

You are in this position because YOU got yourself in this position. I am afraid you have (hopefully) learnt a lesson in LIFE. You seem to want pity regarding your situation as if you have all the worries in the world and have lost so much. Personally I feel you should grow up and face up to where you are and get a grip on where you are going. It's as if you are seeking comfort for what has I can imagine been a low point in your life. Well as much as you think you are bad off take a good look around and open your eyes to those who are so much less fortunate than yourself.

I am sure this is a lesson that you should take on the chin as most men do and not go looking for sympathy when you and only you have been responsible for where you are now. Time to wake up and smell the roses !

Arthur

[caybee 21]

Looks like he did take it on the chin. He made this one post three months ago and hasn't been back.

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

There's no long, complicated story here. I'm just ready to end this.

My wife and I have been married for just under two and a half years. We filed for her residency right after we were married, went through the whole process, and got her conditional green card. Well, recently, we separated. She walked out on me, and neither of us have any intention of getting back together. We've already filed to remove her conditional status, but it's delayed (I think everyone's is delayed). We've been waiting several months, and I have no idea when anything is going to happen. I just can't take this anymore.

Being separated has complicated my life immensely, especially my finances and my education. There are tax credits and exemptions I can't claim unless we file jointly. I haven't been able to get my student financial aid because of our marriage, and as a result I've had to drop out of college. I don't know when I'll be able to go back, if ever. I can't have a relationship with anyone else because I'm still married. My life has been completely, utterly derailed for this girl, and that, combined with the stress of not knowing how to deal with USCIS is destroying me. I was the one who enabled her to stay in this country. I was the one who went through all the paperwork. I got all the photographs, and documentation, and copies. I was the one who handled everything for removing her conditional status. When she has a problem, I figure everything out for her. I traded my freedom for hers. I just can't be the one to do everything for her anymore.

I wish my wife all the best. I want her to be able to stay in this country and be happy. There are no hard feelings between us; we've moved on. But I just can't take this anymore. I need to cut these ties to be able to get on with my own life. I just can't, because I'm concerned about her and what will happen to her.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for. Maybe I need to know that she'll be able to complete the residency process on her own and won't have to leave the country. Maybe I just need someone to tell me to do it, and get this over with. Maybe I just needed to vent, and type all that stuff that I haven't said to anyone else.

I don't know. I'm just ready to move on with my life, and lift this immense weight from my shoulders.

She better have very good proof she married you in good faith because her "walking" out on you shortly after 2 years of marriage and almost the exact time to file removal of conditions, makes it look like she scammed you just for a green card and left as soon as she got what she wanted. Why do you worry about her if she did that? She should be deported in my opinion.

[^KK^ 3]

What is the 3 year requirement about???

[monagoz 2]

Marriage itself is a very sacred institution and also very complicated. It is never easy to pick out a perfect stranger and try to make that person see to your own established views, ideas, opinions and way of life. That is why in Christainity, we also look up to the Holy Spirit to guide the paths of marriage, because having a fulfilled and happy life with another human being is always a journey of faith, perseverance, longsuffering, hope and determination.

I really very sorry for the way you are feeling now. From my own point of view, I think you still love your wife with all your heart. The problem is that anytime you close your eyes and remember that she walked out on you, the anger and hurt in you grows a little larger. The voice of destruction keeps reminding you of all you went through to bring her to this country and as a result, she MUST come back and "bow" before you. Instead of you thinking about what you felt the first time you met her and try to build on that. You will never get anybody who is perfect. And I believe that once you start divorcing, it never ends. What am trying to say here is that you try to see if you could work out your differences. Stop thinking about who's on top of her right now, and starting picturing the good old days, when you said some beautiful things to her. Bring out pictures and see that beautiful smiles on your faces, and go and get your wife.

Finally, don't let anything stop your from helping her through immigration journey. You owe that to her.

[JANETandLYLE 11]

Marriage itself is a very sacred institution and also very complicated. It is never easy to pick out a perfect stranger and try to make that person see to your own established views, ideas, opinions and way of life. That is why in Christainity, we also look up to the Holy Spirit to guide the paths of marriage, because having a fulfilled and happy life with another human being is always a journey of faith, perseverance, longsuffering, hope and determination.

I really very sorry for the way you are feeling now. From my own point of view, I think you still love your wife with all your heart. The problem is that anytime you close your eyes and remember that she walked out on you, the anger and hurt in you grows a little larger. The voice of destruction keeps reminding you of all you went through to bring her to this country and as a result, she MUST come back and "bow" before you. Instead of you thinking about what you felt the first time you met her and try to build on that. You will never get anybody who is perfect. And I believe that once you start divorcing, it never ends. What am trying to say here is that you try to see if you could work out your differences. Stop thinking about who's on top of her right now, and starting picturing the good old days, when you said some beautiful things to her. Bring out pictures and see that beautiful smiles on your faces, and go and get your wife.

Finally, don't let anything stop your from helping her through immigration journey. You owe that to her.

"I wish my wife all the best. I want her to be able to stay in this country and be happy. " I honestly commend this guy for saying this! I hope he also feels that way. If it indeed was a genuine marriage, and it sounds as though it was, at least he is not being selfish. He did say neither of them want to continue at this point, so it doesn't sound like she committed fraud (but who really knows). At least he isn't so despiteful that he makes this a soap opera like another posting here on the site. Some guys actually want revenge. Some guys I believe actually like the rush of dealing with lawyers, watching their spouses or fiance's emotions after presenting evidence, etc. It almost seems like a game of "I'll show you!" I give him credit for not being like that. I seems from what he wrote anyway, that things just didn't work out. I wish them both the best.