Tips For Easing Transition to American Life?

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Hi all,

My fiance and I are still waiting for his visa to be issued - he has been in AP (Administrative Processing) for 6 months now. But, I would like others advice/input about easing the transition to to life in America and what you have done to help your SO adjust and lessen culture shock. While my fiance knows a lot about American culture, he has never been in the States and there is probably a lot that he is not even anticipating...and I'm not quite sure what to anticipate. I know that when I lived in Turkey I went through culture shock and experienced mood swings, anger and depression because I felt so removed from everything that I knew. So, any tips on helping him adjust in the states and making this transition easier? I want to be as prepared as I can and have the tools that I need to help him become integrated in American life!

Thanks for your help!

Julia

[bhajishah 4]

It takes time honey and biting tongue with the why this why that . ande maybe the You american saying. biting tongue birting tongue then talk someday i feel bad when you say you american like im stranger and so on.. Adjusting for him, I put him right into college classes about 2 or 3 so he could talk visit with other and ask them questions as well. that way his identitiy is not stuck @ the apartment with you that is hard on a guy. Find some married ameridcan turkish families to hang ot with for dinners and talks. go on alot of road trips the two f you even if for day eve, show the sights around your area. Stay out of house away from computer and tv as much as possible. get him out in public. lots of wuestions, yet alot of pride with accomplish ment of finding way around and schhol and job and friends. it takes a good 3 yrs to be really settled in . so patience on your part. and eventually he will shine like a little star. best wishes and enjoy his company. He will drive you nuts. lol

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Have any orgy.

[alienlovechild 75]

go on alot of road trips the two f you even if for day eve, show the sights around your area. Stay out of house away from computer and tv as much as possible. get him out in public. lots of wuestions, yet alot of pride with accomplish ment of finding way around and schhol and job and friends.

Solid advice. Isolation doesn't help getting to know a new a culture or only hanging with people from the old country.

There are books on culture shock for various countries and it's easy to buy a used copy online. My wife mentioned on several occasions that something she saw in the U.S. reminded her of what she learned in the books. At least they are more accurate than most Hollywood movies foreigners see overseas.

[bhajishah 4]

good idea with Turkish tongue baths as main course!!

[camistanbul 0]

Hi all,

My fiance and I are still waiting for his visa to be issued - he has been in AP (Administrative Processing) for 6 months now. But, I would like others advice/input about easing the transition to to life in America and what you have done to help your SO adjust and lessen culture shock. While my fiance knows a lot about American culture, he has never been in the States and there is probably a lot that he is not even anticipating...and I'm not quite sure what to anticipate. I know that when I lived in Turkey I went through culture shock and experienced mood swings, anger and depression because I felt so removed from everything that I knew. So, any tips on helping him adjust in the states and making this transition easier? I want to be as prepared as I can and have the tools that I need to help him become integrated in American life!

Thanks for your help!

Julia

Hi Julia -

My husband and I came to the US from Turkey in November, which was his first time in the US, so I was also pretty concerned about how the transition would be. I don't know about your fiance, but my husband speaks very good English, which I think was a big help. We did have a moment when we first arrived at JFK when he went to buy a bottle of water and the girl started asking him if he had change ('any quarters?') but he didn't know what a 'quarter' was! We hadn't really gone over American money and the names for change, so he felt a little bad about that. It was no big deal, but it was just one of those things I wished I had talked about before we arrived.

One of the things I was concerned about was food, but thankfully my husband is really open to trying new foods and actually, hasn't been looking for Turkish foods (yet). But I did my homework and there are lots of websites where you can order Turkish foods (tulumba.com for one) and we spent a lot of time wandering around the supermarkets, figuring out what is here vs. in Turkey. He did miss Turkish breakfasts, so I made some for him since you can get those ingredients fairly easily. We also just met up with some Turkish friends who told us that the closest thing they've found to beyaz peynir is "Bulgarian feta," which can be found at Middle Eastern markets. We have also been able to track down things like Efes and raki, which is kind of nice since it's a taste of home.

We were also concerned about communicating with his family in Turkey and I really want to make sure we can call them easily, so we have a Tulumba.com phone card, which is really cheap for calling Turkey. Once we had mobile phones too, he felt really good and was happy to be able to give his family his new phone #. Even though it costs more to text in the US, it's nice to have that link to family back home.

We just moved into a new apartment (2 days ago!) after spending a lot of time with my family. Since we only have 1 car, I really wanted to make sure that we would be able to get around easily, so we are near several forms of public transportation. We're also within walking distance of a supermarket, bookstore, coffeeshops, etc. Since we came from Istanbul, it's nice to be able to walk around to places and have that freedom. I know for my husband, it has made him VERY happy since we were stuck in the suburbs (with my parents) and had to drive everywhere. Now he can just walk around and I think that feeling of being independent is SO important. I know when I was in Turkey, I hated feeling like someone had to hold my hand to do simple things like shop at the market. The next step will be for him to find a job, so I think that will prove to be tricky, but he's feeling positive about it. First we have to find some furniture for our new apartment though.

Anyway, feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

kendine iyi bak!

[ferno 0]

Julia I dont think I will have any culture shock in america. I dont know what A.J. is talking about but i am sure if some dude talking like no sence i am sure i can close some momy's guy mouth too bad.

Anyways I was live in Cyprus and Cyprus was not too different than other european or american countries they had different culture too and Lots of people was coming to cyprus from all over the world. But only one thing can make me feel sad you know this is my friends. I will miss them ( if i can get this d***n visa) But i dont think i will have a culture shock.. and yes turkey has a different culture but i dont think like too thick as much pakistan or i dont know what else.

dont forget honey i love you

[Kirsten UK 2]

Have any orgy.

So thats the best way to integrate into American life??

[reeses16 8]

Patience, is the best thing to have. There will be many things that you never thought of that he will need help with...from change/quarters dialing phone number (they phone number you have me is short, where are the rest of the numbers?). Both people will need patients, he may need help doing ordinary things that he never would have needed help with in Turkey.

Also, my hubby was surprised by racism. I'm a Black woman and racism is something that happens occasionally to me, but thats how some people are- its not new to me. In Ethiopia, everyone is Black (Ethiopia was never colonized) except for some foreigners. So in Ethiopia there isn't racism like there is in the US. They have their issues (tribalism in some areas) but its not based on your skin color. It was a shock to my hubby to go places and be treated differently than others (I do think experiences of racism are different for Black men than Black women). Anyway, I would imagine that your SO may experience something similar, since he would become minority in the US. And some Americans are not very friendly to people with foreign accents.So maybe not racism, but xenophobia.

[GiGii 4]

Julia I dont think I will have any culture shock in america.

That's what mine said too... until he got here and became major homesick. He missed his friends A LOT, and that he wont be able to see his nieces/nephews grow up. I remember him telling me how prepared he was, how nothing will shock him. He later admitted he watched too many movies, and life here is not as easy.

Even though he makes good money, can afford everything his heart desires, he still prefers the homeland, just because people value people more there. In the US there is more privacy, less "people time".

[bora bora 1]

Hi all,

My fiance and I are still waiting for his visa to be issued - he has been in AP (Administrative Processing) for 6 months now. But, I would like others advice/input about easing the transition to to life in America and what you have done to help your SO adjust and lessen culture shock. While my fiance knows a lot about American culture, he has never been in the States and there is probably a lot that he is not even anticipating...and I'm not quite sure what to anticipate. I know that when I lived in Turkey I went through culture shock and experienced mood swings, anger and depression because I felt so removed from everything that I knew. So, any tips on helping him adjust in the states and making this transition easier? I want to be as prepared as I can and have the tools that I need to help him become integrated in American life!

Thanks for your help!

Julia

Keep busy, try to make American friends, go out, join a gym, study, and on and on.

It can be hard in the beginning while he's waiting for his EAD, so he has got to find something else to occupy his time or he'll eat, gain weight, and be bored.

Good luck!

[Marc & Solika 1]

Take him to Disney World!!

[Welshcookie 17]

Have any orgy.

So thats the best way to integrate into American life??

Oh you didn't know that?

[TBoneTX 44,786]

Keep very, very, VERY busy, doing anything at all. If this isn't enough, practice administering and defending against "wedgies."