He's driving me crazy

[belinda63 3,022]

My fiance arrived October 3 and we married Oct 6. He does not in any way understand how crazy he is driving me.

His bags were lost, a week later they found one but still not the other so we filed a claim with United. I told him after I talked to them that it would be 60 days before they sent the check. Today, only a month later, can you check on the computer to see if they have found my bag (yes dear let me stop what I am doing to do that for you). No they have not found ur bag. When will they send the check? How much will the check be? I don't know why don't u call them. No, u call my english is not good.

When will i get my work permit? I told you it takes about 3 months. Can you call them and ask them when they will send it.

Which state has the cheapest cars?

Can we move to Houston Texas and buy a house there? ( we currently live in Kentucky)

Why do gas prices change so much? why in one area are they one price and another area another price?

I swear he is killing me with his questions. I have my own things going on, working full time plus some, not being able to pay the bills, fighting for custody of my 13 year old daughter, and a whole slew of other things and he just expects me to stop whenever he asks and look on the internet or make phone calls for him.

I got so angry a few days ago I gave him the phone number and said you call them and ask them why but of course he did not.

Am I the only one being driven nuts?

[RAKASA 0]

ask Nutty... lol!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

How does he spend his time? It looks like he's planning for the future, which is good. Set out some concrete steps he can take to make it happen. Is he prepared for when he does get an EAD? How is his resume? Has he ever written a cover letter? If not, find a few websites that explain how to do it, have him read through them and practice practice practice! Do any of his job skills need brushing up on? If he's home all day, help him look for something to do. If he doesn't think his english is good, find an ESL class. Look for volunteer opportunities that will get him out of the house and interacting with other people. Volunteering will also get him something essential for the future job search - references.

[Jenn! 918]

It will get better. Patience!

Look on the bright side...use it to feed your ego about how much knowledge you have!

[morocco4ever 63]

Tell him that you will gladly voluteer to give up your job to become his personal secretary. Then mention that he had better hurry up and get a good paying job so that he can cover your salary, as well as all of the household expenses.

Seriously though, kindly tell him that some things have to come first, and either he learns to be patient until you can do it or the consequences will be lost job, lost custody, ect.

[Zee Bee 61]

Sounds like my husband when he first came.

Mind you, I am patient, but all the "who, what, when , where, why, how" drove me I had to keep telling myself that he is only asking because he didn't know

Remember, he is depending on you for a lot right now, and as difficult as it is, it will get better

[Jasman0717 9]

Sometimes I wish my wife only asked these few of questions

[doodlebugg 10]

What about setting up a notebook for him with different subjects that have answers to any possible newbie questions you can think of? That way you can slowly get him to look at the notebook instead of asking you.

My husband was shy at talking on the phone at first too but he forced himself to get over it. It's a transition and doesn't happen overnight. While he was at his first job he learned a lot just by communicating with other employees.

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

it sounds like you need cable tv.

[Gemmie 142]

I'm not trying to judge you by asking this, but what did you expect when you brought him here? Has he ever been to the US before? If it's a culture that he doesn't understand yet, then it's natural for him to have many questions about anything and everything, from gas prices, to the area, to when he'll be able to do things for himself.

I understand you have your own things going on with work, finances, and your daughter, but you knew all of this when you petitioned for him to move over..? It's a big transition for him, and both of you need patience and communication to get through it. I imagine if you moved to Iran, you would be wondering many things yourself, including about your independence.

It takes a while to get over the fear and adjustments that come with making phonecalls and finding out information. English is my first language but I have a British accent, and even I hate speaking on the phone to American companies. It's amazing how a different accent throws them off. Try to have some patience. He's only been here for a month.

Good luck.

[sussemadel 16]

I get tons of questions and even some that I think he thinks I have ESP. If we're watching a movie..."Why are they doing that"?, "What are they going to do next"? On the street as we're driving "Why do those guys have long hair"?, "Why are those girls wearing short shorts"? I tell him "If I knew I'd tell ya" but jjjjjjeeeeeeezzzz there has to be a better response to it than that!!!

[doodlebugg 10]

I get tons of questions and even some that I think he thinks I have ESP. If we're watching a movie..."Why are they doing that"?, "What are they going to do next"? On the street as we're driving "Why do those guys have long hair"?, "Why are those girls wearing short shorts"? I tell him "If I knew I'd tell ya" but jjjjjjeeeeeeezzzz there has to be a better response to it than that!!!

I remember walking to a mosque in Cambridge when he first got here and we passed a Whole Foods and in the pkg lot was a couple standing in the middle making out. I wasn't aware of what was going on so I was just walking when all of a sudden I realized my husband had stopped and was staring at them for the longest time!!! I was so embarassed and bewildered so I asked, "what the heck are you doing??? it's not polite to stare!!!" and he just had this deer in the headlights look about him and asked, "why can't they wait?".

I was like "wait for what? what do you mean?" and he said "wait a few minutes to get home and kiss like that".

[star_dragon 0]

See if the library has resources for him. There's one near me that has resources for new Immigrants. They have info on ESL classes, job counseling, etc. (here I go again, plugging the public library )

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Aww, it will get better. He is learning and you are his only teacher right now. Once he starts working he will gain more independence.

And ya, talk to nutty heh heh

btw- Im in Ky too!

Lisa

[AlHayatZween 2]

:D

Aww... it will get better, Belinda.

in the beginning i sent mine out on a lot of errands, to the mosque, to English class...

But just consider that him asking questions might be a blessing!

My husband doesn't ask any questions... he just does things...

like taking the sofa apart, just to see how it's put together???