I am tired of babysitting

[trinket 30]

Yes it’s the usual rant; I don’t really know who to talk or what to do right now, just I am tired of babysitting my husband anymore.

So we are this close to the final step but his procrastination is taking its toll on the process right now. To say it mildly it’s been the 4th day on a row that he forgot to get our supposed joint sponsor’s phone number, and trust me I have been reminding him every f*cking day, even made sure to send him a text on his cell reminding what he needs to do but today I have lost my temper.

Is there a way to change a man? I know I know, I have heard it a lot that you don’t try to change someone in a relationship, but what about growing up and being a bit more matured, not always rely on your wife to show you the direction and help you with every possible thing.

He was 22 when we first met and I was 21, after 5 years of this relationship, I think he ought to be a bit more mature and start doing things properly, not just his half as*sed part.

I know I will regret posting this on a wide open forum but…..well sigh

[Welshcookie 17]

I know I will regret posting this on a wide open forum but…..well sigh

repeat all of the above to him...you'll more get out of it

[Sal and Jay 2]

Yes it’s the usual rant; I don’t really know who to talk or what to do right now, just I am tired of babysitting my husband anymore.

So we are this close to the final step but his procrastination is taking its toll on the process right now. To say it mildly it’s been the 4th day on a row that he forgot to get our supposed joint sponsor’s phone number, and trust me I have been reminding him every f*cking day, even made sure to send him a text on his cell reminding what he needs to do but today I have lost my temper.

Is there a way to change a man? I know I know, I have heard it a lot that you don’t try to change someone in a relationship, but what about growing up and being a bit more matured, not always rely on your wife to show you the direction and help you with every possible thing.

He was 22 when we first met and I was 21, after 5 years of this relationship, I think he ought to be a bit more mature and start doing things properly, not just his half as*sed part.

I know I will regret posting this on a wide open forum but…..well sigh

Lol my Jay is 48 and the worlds biggest procrastinator, but he has many other qualities that supercede this. I dont think you should consider trying to change anyone, if you feel you cant live with the way he is make some decisions.

[trinket 30]

I have, tried to be all loving, that's why just kept saying for the 3 days: " its ok if you haven't got the phone number today, but please do get it tomorrow handsome"

I don't know how much more loving or sweet talking I can be around anymore, the thing is, if I analyse how things have been, he never does it if I am all sweet to him, unless and until I show him my Kali mata avatar (a fierce Hindu goddess), he just won't do it.

He loves me I know that and every thing else is all good but this dilly dally way of his

He bought me birthday present in April, and my birthday was on 11th of June and he still hasn't been able to post that package.........though he did send me money to buy me a watch for myself, but still that small little package was more important to me than sending me money. Duh I am just frustrated right now

[trinket 30]

if you feel you cant live with the way he is make some decisions.

No, its not that big of a issue and I am not thinking about leaving him or anything , but I guess I just wish one of the days he would take care of things all by himself rather than me.

And I guess its better to stay in the marriage and torture him rather than letting him free

[CaNdiD wiTcH 0]

My husband has this procrastinating attitude as well. There are times when I do get upset because of that. It was just so tiring to keep on reminding things but it seems he doesn't care at all.. I need to stretch my forbearance so that we won't fight. He does not want me to be upset but he does things that upsets me. Slowly, he realized his mistakes and is now trying to change his attitude. There is no way that I could force him to change in a jiffy so there is no other choice but to accept that he is like that..

[apricot 0]

This was the prime reason I divoced my first husband. It got to the point that I felt like a single mom with a child. I just couldn't stand the fact that I couldn't rely on him and it got to the point where I simply did things myself to spare myself the aggravation - and disappointment - of asking him over and over to do his share in the marriage. I hated the feeling of disrespect I felt when he gave me the 'I forgot' phrase... it felt as if doing something like simply picking up the dry cleaning was too much to do for me.

In hindsight, I wonder if he had something like ADD. He had classic symptoms including being forgetful, and seldom finishing something he started, always made promises that he seldom followed through on.

I feel for you.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Just remind him his visa, and drop it. The longer he waits to complete the information the longer it will take, he can make the choice, you can only do so much and i think alot of times these men just dont take alot of this seriously as we do

[trinket 30]

Dassie,

I guess I totally sided the fact that my husband does suffer from dysthymic disorder.

He was homeless for almost 2 years but he did pull himself up and I give it to him for that.

He did get himself into a vocational rehab for jobs and during that time (that would be end of 2006) they did do a psycho analysis of him and did say that he suffered from dysthymic disorder.

But things have been much better compared to those years.

I dont know, I guess I will try to have a small talk with him. Just got furious that he couldn't get the number the whole week and now its 3 days weekend, so have to wait till monday before seeing any progress with this visa process.

[trinket 30]

Just remind him his visa, and drop it. The longer he waits to complete the information the longer it will take, he can make the choice, you can only do so much and i think alot of times these men just dont take alot of this seriously as we do

Well he is the petitioner and I am the beneficiary. And its not just about visa, basically any god damn thing and I have to be on my toes to make sure he completes the task

[brnidokiegurl 0]

ic well then i would question why still he doesnt put this as first priority no matter which side of the fence, if his responsibility is a prob to you now what will it be later as people dont usually chg that much if any...i am the pet. and i do everything as quick as i can, he the benef. does the same when i ask him for something....to try hurry this thing thru

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

This was the prime reason I divoced my first husband. It got to the point that I felt like a single mom with a child. I just couldn't stand the fact that I couldn't rely on him and it got to the point where I simply did things myself to spare myself the aggravation - and disappointment - of asking him over and over to do his share in the marriage. I hated the feeling of disrespect I felt when he gave me the 'I forgot' phrase... it felt as if doing something like simply picking up the dry cleaning was too much to do for me.

In hindsight, I wonder if he had something like ADD. He had classic symptoms including being forgetful, and seldom finishing something he started, always made promises that he seldom followed through on.

I feel for you.

I left my first husband for this reason as well. I deserved way better.

[indianheart 2]

you cant change people. if a person has a need to change they will do it for themselves. if you cant live with a person the way they are now then dont. I was married 25 yrs to my first husband, I was the ambition and motivation in everything we did, I would ask his what his opinion was and he would just say "what every you want dear" . if I wanted to make all the decisions in life I would have stayed single. I divorced him in order to have a life with out carrying dead weight around. There is no perfect person out there but if you think that you can change bad qualities THINK AGAIN

[LoriLawless 0]

This was the prime reason I divoced my first husband. It got to the point that I felt like a single mom with a child. I just couldn't stand the fact that I couldn't rely on him and it got to the point where I simply did things myself to spare myself the aggravation - and disappointment - of asking him over and over to do his share in the marriage. I hated the feeling of disrespect I felt when he gave me the 'I forgot' phrase... it felt as if doing something like simply picking up the dry cleaning was too much to do for me.

In hindsight, I wonder if he had something like ADD. He had classic symptoms including being forgetful, and seldom finishing something he started, always made promises that he seldom followed through on.

I feel for you.

I left my first husband for this reason as well. I deserved way better.

We should start a club, I did too.

[*JG* 2]

I think my hubby does that sort of thing just cause he wants me to do it in the first place.

I'd just go around him and get what I needed.