How to Make your husband Happy

[mohamed N melinda 0]

The following article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

Begin with a good greeting.

Meet him with a cheerful face

Beautify and perfume yourself

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Take good care of your body and fitness.

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.

You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

If you were mistaken, then apologize

If he was mistaken then:

Keep still instead of arguing or

Yield you right or

Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

If he was angry because of external reasons then:

Keep silent until his anger goes

Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him

Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.

1) You should tell me what happened!

2) I must know what made you so angry!

3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protect yourself from any prohibited relations

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.

Take care of the house and children.

Take care of his money and properties

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.

Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.

Encourage him to pray at night.

Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.

16. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom

Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The following article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

Begin with a good greeting.

Meet him with a cheerful face

Beautify and perfume yourself

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Take good care of your body and fitness.

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.

You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

If you were mistaken, then apologize

If he was mistaken then:

Keep still instead of arguing or

Yield you right or

Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

If he was angry because of external reasons then:

Keep silent until his anger goes

Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him

Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.

1) You should tell me what happened!

2) I must know what made you so angry!

3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protect yourself from any prohibited relations

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.

Take care of the house and children.

Take care of his money and properties

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.

Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.

Encourage him to pray at night.

Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.

16. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom

Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999

Do you have a list of things as to how you make your wife happy?

Help with laundry

Take her out to dinner once a week

Tell her you love her everyday

Thank her for the things she does to make you happy

Be affectionate

Pay attention to her

help with the kids

Be nice to her family

Id like to see a list of what a muslim man should do for his wife....

I havent seen too many sheikhs write articles on that...I am waiting for your new post Mohamed.

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

Yes I completely agree What Mohamed sent and also what Wahrania said!!! I will get him to post that Wahrania there is one. Have a wonderful day!!!

[jpaula 20]

Oh, there is one of those too. These have floated around OT as well.

Source: http://www.islamicvoice.com/september.99/women.htm

HOW TO MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

Warm Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

begin with a good greeting.

Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum (peace be with you) and a smile. Salam is a Sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.

Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Talking Sweet

Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

Give her your attention when you speak or she speaks.

Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.

Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Become Friends

Spend time talking together.

Spread to her good news.

Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

Joking around & having a sense of humour.

Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.

Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Help her in the Household Chores

Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.

The most important thing is making it obvious that you appreciate her hard work.

Consultation

Specifically in family matters.

Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.

Studying her opinion carefully.

Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.

Thanking her for helping with her suggestions.

Visiting Others

Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)

Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.

Not forcing her to visit those she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct During Travel

Offer a warm farewell and good advice.

Ask her to pray for him.

Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.

Give her enough money for what she might need.

Try to stay in touch with her by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..

Return as soon as possible.

Bring her a gift!

Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.

Take her with you if possible.

Financial Support

The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).

He gets rewards for all that he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadith).

He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him.

Smelling Good and Physical Beauty

Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.

Always being clean and neat.

Put on perfume for her.

Guarding Privacy

Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

Wake her up in the last third phase of the night to pray “Qiam-ul-Layl” (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku’ua).

Teach her what you know of the Qur’an and its tafseer.

Teach her “Dhikr” (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.

Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.

Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing Respect to her Family and Friends

Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.

Invite them to visit her and welcome them.

Give them presents on special occasions.

Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..

Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the Sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family.

Training and Admonition

This includes

The basics of Islam

Her duties and rights

Reading and writing

Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs

Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women

Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable Jealousy

Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.

Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.

Avoid excess jealousy. Examples of this are:

;

1- Analysing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech with meanings that she did not intend.

2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.

3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

4- etc.

Patience and Mildness

Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.

Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah (swt), by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..

Forgive the mistakes she does to you (See item 17).

How can you best correct her mistakes?

1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times.

2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings).

Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her.

3- The last solution is lightly hitting (when allowable) her. In this case, the husband should consider the following: - He should know that Sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet (e) never beat a woman or a servant.

- He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc..

- It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur’an . - He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body.

- He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc.

Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

Accounting her only for larger mistakes.

Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah’s rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..

Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake. Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.

Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet (e) never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn’t then he does not eat and does not comment.

Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations

Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.

When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.

Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words. (Translated by Abu Tallah)

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

VJ Angry Goddess Attack Posse - Engage!

[Jenn! 918]

Words to live by.

[Fuzzness 2]

here we go again...

[Sister Fracas 5]

here we go again...

indeed... lol

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

here we go again...

indeed... lol

it's deja moo.

[almaty 19]

i feel a tremor in the force

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

That was charles. He had beans last night.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

is it just me or ..........He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. that might be a good idea to consider unless you want to die

Edited April 22, 2008 by brnidokiegurl

[sara..... 371]

is it just me or ..........He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. that might be a good idea to consider unless you want to die

he is NOT allowed to hit her hard or injure her in any way.......he is suppose to use this only if all else fails......how ever most men do not use this even if everything else has failed..........

[almaty 19]

That was charles. He had beans last night.

lol.. i thought it was another earthquake

[Fuzzness 2]

is it just me or ..........He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. that might be a good idea to consider unless you want to die

he is NOT allowed to hit her hard or injure her in any way.......he is suppose to use this only if all else fails......how ever most men do not use this even if everything else has failed..........

how bout not hitting her at all, ever, under any circumstances