*Bashing head against the wall*

[PsychoKat 0]

You know the wait involved in getting through this process is driving me nuts today!

I've been married since 2002. Because I was ignorant of the process at the time this has turned into an extremely long journey.

Right now though I just want to scream though. It's not just about missing the love of my life and wanting to actually be able to start living our lives together. I need HELP arrrghh.

My daughter has been sick since Monday last week. After allergic reactions to two different kinds of "medication" one a contrast dye and one what they gave her to treat the initial reaction, she missed all week of school last week, and....I missed all week of work.

Here I am this morning, I was hoping to work today but she still is experiencing pain and weakness from the reaction to the 2nd medication at this point I'm hoping that by some miracle she might feel better after having a little more sleep and some advil and I can get her off to school and me in for at least a few hours of work.

What really is frustrating is if Steve were here I could have safely left her in his care and gone to work. But no, instead I'm sitting here knowing I need to make sure my daughter is taken care and worrying about how I'm going to be able to pay bills after missing a week or more with no pay.

I'm fortunate enough to have FMLA approved to care for her if need be so my job isn't in jeopardy, but that is without pay and arghhhh

Through this process I've run into a couple of difficulties that left me understanding how some single parents would be left with no choice but to fall back on the welfare system as a means of survival while caring for their child....Unfortunately due to the proof of support I cannot ask for assistance when something like this happens, or Ill be a single parent forever

ARGH

[Dixie_Peach 1]

oh wow!!! i sooooooooooooooo understand how you are feeling...

The mother side of you wants and needs to be with your child so that you can CARE and MOTHER her... and at the same time, you feel guilty because you know you will lose money by staying at home... so that adds stress to the set of worries you already have...

i'm praying for ya... pray your daughter gets well soon!

Lynne

[PsychoKat 0]

oh wow!!! i sooooooooooooooo understand how you are feeling...

The mother side of you wants and needs to be with your child so that you can CARE and MOTHER her... and at the same time, you feel guilty because you know you will lose money by staying at home... so that adds stress to the set of worries you already have...

i'm praying for ya... pray your daughter gets well soon!

Lynne

Thanks so much, she goes to 2 different schools during the day I was hoping she might feel well enough to make the second one but it doesn't look like that will be the case, I've gotten her up and it's not any better *Sigh*

I work an hour or more away from home, if I were to try to work and hope she was ok home along (she is old enough for that) it would take me ages to get to her if she needed help and the only other person she would call if she needed help is her natural father and he too is over an hour away.

Thanks again for your thoughts

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Kat... you ARE doing the right thing... your daughter needs you there with her. She is the most important. I would hope that when it comes to the money - your ex would be helpful to care for her expenses, etc. while you are not able to work.

If you ever need a shoulder to cry on... please pm me. I know so well the stresses of being a single parent...

*huge hugs*

Lynne

[PsychoKat 0]

Kat... you ARE doing the right thing... your daughter needs you there with her. She is the most important. I would hope that when it comes to the money - your ex would be helpful to care for her expenses, etc. while you are not able to work.

If you ever need a shoulder to cry on... please pm me. I know so well the stresses of being a single parent...

*huge hugs*

Lynne

Thanks Lynn for the support offer of a shoulder, my X generally is good about helping out with expenses if need be, but it's difficult for me to ask at times. This month has been really bad because she had bronchitis and pleuresy a couple of weeks ago and now this so I've been off work more than I have worked...without pay none the less.

It'll get better, I've survived worse...I'm beginning to wonder if I might be immortal (highlander reference there)

Thanks again it's so much appreciated

[Sinergy 3]

Girl i totally understand you as i am being a single parent right now myself. I have chosen to even work at home in webdesign instead of working in a business making double the pay i make at home because I chose to stay home and raise me and Eds son instead of a daycare, which costs almost $200 a week, and none of them could give Joshua the care i can give him.

It is hard, very hard, and your right, if our men were here, wed be able to go out and do our jobs while they take care of our children in times of emergancies OR them work while we are home with the kids, atleast income would still flow. It frustrates me too. Im here for you if you need someone!

Hugs,

Tara

[Dixie_Peach 1]

kat... didn'tcha know? mom's have super powers... AND immortality... lol

or at least the kids think we do...

sometimes, being the super-hero is such a tiring job, and the accolades aren't much... pretty much un-noticed... lol... but worth it when we are doing the things that our kids NEED the most...

thank God that your ex is there if ya'll need his help.

when i was growing up, my dad was an abusive alcoholic... and my mom finally took us and left him... times were soooooooooo hard... but, my mom was always there when we needed her... the job(s) always came second to us kids... when i look back over my life... what stands out the most is that my mom was always there... whenever i needed her... i can NOT say that about my dad... i hope that i can be the type of mom to my son that my mom was to me...

sorry for being long-winded...

carry on...

*hugs*

lynne

[Sinergy 3]

I agree though! The Moms are always there, and ive always made my kids top priority over EVERYTHING. I was even fired from a job once when my daughter (now 10) was sick, and it was either go to work and leave her alone sick, send her to school though she couldnt move, or stay home and when she went to bed that night, look for another job, because i was already told, come to work or dont come back tomorrow.

I found a new job the next day.

Atleast you have some kind of support. Your doing good!!! and your daughter feels good knowing you are by her side.

[PsychoKat 0]

Girl i totally understand you as i am being a single parent right now myself. I have chosen to even work at home in webdesign instead of working in a business making double the pay i make at home because I chose to stay home and raise me and Eds son instead of a daycare, which costs almost $200 a week, and none of them could give Joshua the care i can give him.

It is hard, very hard, and your right, if our men were here, wed be able to go out and do our jobs while they take care of our children in times of emergancies OR them work while we are home with the kids, atleast income would still flow. It frustrates me too. Im here for you if you need someone!

Hugs,

Tara

Thanks

My daughter at least is a bit older and able to do for herself in some situations, but still, due to some other health related issues she has had, leaving her home alone when she is already down and feeling bad I don't feel is good or safe.

I wish I could work from home, but unfortunately I don't have the business sense to make a living wage working from home I don't believe. I did try at one time to start my own business doing in home computer repair, training, networking etc but needed a steady income, and didn't have the time or finances to promote it.

Thank you again I try not to whine too much but this last week has been tough

[Sinergy 3]

You didnt whine!!! its normal to feel this way!!!

Hugs,

Tara

[Dixie_Peach 1]

i agree kat... don't feel like you are whining... single mothers need to know that they have support too...

[PsychoKat 0]

Thanks again, you guys are both great and I really appreciate it immensly.

I do put my daughter first in everything. She is and will always be my baby. I also have always been fiercely indepenant which these days tends to cause me more guilt than good Up until a couple of years ago staying home when she was sick wasn't a problem in terms of work. I was in a salaried position with 45 sick days a year and had been there for ...total of 22 years when I left and it was only 3 miles from home!! Oh to have those days back again. I have to admit, I was spoiled by this job and thought I would be there for life, so starting from scratch wasn't much fun

I still fairly new where I am now, I've been at this location and position a year and 5 months, and that period of time it seems has been filled with pitfalls so sometimes I worry that one of these days they'll say byebye to me. It's frustrating because I was well respected where I worked before so much so that even after I no longer worked there my former supervisor met with me over lunch to consult with me about task management and analytical techniques that used hoping this information would help improve what they were seeing with my replacement. I haven't built that where I am now, so I feel like they must have a horrible view of me.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Not much I can add to the other posts really - but Im a mom so I feel for ya and added *hugs* for the stress..all part n parcel of being a mommy - next step - not being looked down on for being 'just' a mom

Hope she feels better soon

[Sinergy 3]

Maybe i have a poop cloud but EVERYTIME i started a new job, one of my kids got sick hahaha

i took that as a sign to work at home, since then, i have healthy kids (not saying you should work at home, i think i have selfish kids hahahahahaha j/k)

tho i miss so much going out and being amongst ADULTS!! I can only take so much Blues Clues and dorky Disney movies in my lifetime