Please Help-My Cousin married a U.S. Citizen. She came to U.S. to a Nightmare

[GarynMarie 0]

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long time since I posted and I sure wish it was for something else rather than what I am going to be telling you.

I myself married a filipino woman. On my first trip to the Philippines to meet my then fience, I had (at the time) a friend go with me. He is an ex body builder and I thought what better person to have with me going to a country I really knew nothing about. Anyway! He met my now wifes cousin while we were their. To make a long story short- they ended up getting married.. I dreaded the thought of this marriage because I knew this guy was not marrying material. He had been divorced 3 times and has 6 kids from 4 different woman. All of his divorces were a result of his mental and physical abuse. He has a criminal record 4 pages long. He fakes a old back injury so he can collect SSI and he sells his narcotic prescription drugs on the street for and added $2,500 per month income. I know this is true because he has told me this on several occasions (while laughing). We both live in the same small town and I have also talked to several people that have confirmed what he told me,not to mention all of the other cash work and scams he has going on. How else does someone who is on disability own a 2004 full size deisal 4X4(loaded), two 2000 plus cars that are decked out and in storage during the winter, 2 really nice fully dressed motorcycles, plus 4 wheelers,dirtbikes, and riding lawnmowers, tools up the yahoo-a HUGE BIG SCREEN TV, the list goes on and on. Plus he lives in a low income housing home that basis his rent on his disability income , so he only pays about 100$ per month for rent. Plus gets state supplied health insurance. Get this-the state pays for his prescription drugs and he sells them for cash. He told me this, and yes, he was laughing about this also! So anyway-now that you have an idea what kid of person this is. I will continue about the real issue at hand.

I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007

It wasnt even a week and her hell on earth began. She is not allowed phone calls past 10PM, she is not allowed to have any money, cannot contact her family in the Philippines because it is 13 Hours difference in time so by the time her family can get out of the mountains and into a town where there is phone and internet it is past 10 PM here in Wisconsin ans she isnt aallowed on phone past 10PM. He told my wife on the phone that she (his wife) has the same rules and regulations that his children have. When they go shopping she is not allowed to get any food for her self, she has to eat what he buys for his kids. She isnt allowed to have a key to the house and if on the rare occasion he has let her leave she is suppose to be home by 6PM. Thank God she is at least able to come to our house sometimes. The only reason I think is because we live only 2 blocks away from them. It was 30 below zero last week and he made her walk to our house. If she wants to come to our house she has to walk. Im at work so I cant pick her up and my wife doesnt drive yet. She was an hour late one night and he really let her have it. Imagine a 300 pound ex body builder hovering over a 90 pound filipino girl screaming at her and threating her to send her back to the philippines. We dont know what all took place that night because when she talks about that night in particular, she is really short worded and changes the subject right away. Right now he wont even talk to her. She was at our house again today and that is what she said. Im worried he is going to blow up soon because she has come to our house 3 days in a row.

What can this girl do? She wants to leave him but he has her convinced that he can have her deported and she doesnt know what to do. She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready. She needs some help and I just dont know what to do or who to contact. This guy is dangerous. I wouldnt put anything past him. If she leaves I just dont know what he will do. One of the charges on his criminal record stemmed from a initial charge of attempted murder. That was just from a guy that tailgated him and then passed him on the road.He ran the guy off the road and eat the living snot out him until he was almost dead. His brothers stopped the attack or else he would have killed the man(just for passing him), what is he going to do if this girl leaves him????

PLEASE PLEASE HELP, can someone point me in the right direction. Her whole world was turned upside down when she left the Philippines, she does not want to go back and she shouldnt have to just because this guy lied to her and her family and led them to believe she would be taken care of here in the U.S.

[tito 1]

Well, it sort of seems that she knew what she was getting into with the sort of person this guy was. So, what are the options?

1. She can go back to family, friends and the life she misses at home;

2. She can self-apply for adjustment of status based on abuse under Form I-130...but she would need to present evidence to show the nature and extent of abuse (something beyond stories, anyway...and if there is a criminal record, that would be part of the showing).

Fortunately, you wake up from bad dreams. Why isn't going back home a viable option? She's only been married a little over a month!!! There doesn't seem to be any extraordinary vested interest in establishing residencey in the U.S. I mean, what is so important about her ability to remain in the U.S.?

Edited February 7, 2008 by tito

[Lance27 19]

I would suggest her get a divorce and move out as her well being is more important at this time.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

and this person is/was your friend? Why?

EEEK.

I wish your wife's cousin much luck

[tito 1]

and this person is/was your friend? Why?

EEEK.

I wish your wife's cousin much luck

Good luck, indeed. Tough situation. Maybe the reason was to help the person get to the U.S.? So, she's here...now what? Do we assume that the person is entitled to a green card? It's this sense of entitlement that is so curious.

Edited February 7, 2008 by tito

[britty 1]

Firstly, why on earth would you want to be friends with this guy, let alone take him to the Philippines with you? Secondly, as mentioned before, there is no real reason for her to stay here in the US. Surely she would be happier at home with her family. I know if I was in this scenario, I would go straight back home to the warmth and safety of my loved ones.

[2manypapers 0]

Hello,

I am very sorry to hear about your wife's cousin. If she believes that she is in danger or being abused, then please have her call this number from the safety of your home. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) http://www.ndvh.org/ The hotline is open 24 hours a day, in all 50 states. I am puzzled by your friends long criminal record and his ability to sponsor.

Regards,

2manypapers

[GarynMarie 0]

Firstly, why on earth would you want to be friends with this guy, let alone take him to the Philippines with you? Secondly, as mentioned before, there is no real reason for her to stay here in the US. Surely she would be happier at home with her family. I know if I was in this scenario, I would go straight back home to the warmth and safety of my loved ones.

I am no longer friends with this guy. I didnt know him real well when we went to the Philippines together but I thought I knew him well enough I could have him tag along on my trip and with all the things I read about kidknappings and stuff in the Philippines I really didnt mind this Incredible Hulk looking guy to go there with me. After I got there I realized i had nothing to worry about. I felt very comfortable with my surroundings. It wasnt until later after He told me about his lifestyle that I checked his criminal record and learned much more. As I mentioned before,this guy is a real smooth talker and his first impression is a kind soft spoken guy. Its behind closed doors where the real person emerges.

She thought she was coming here to honest hard working guy. It was her intention to come here and live with her husband and live happily ever after. He lied,lied ,lied to her convincing her he was a good guy.Okay-she goes back to the Philippines-to what? She has no job their anymore , and she lived in a very remote area where jobs are so scarce. Her family cant support her. How is she going to buy a ticket? We cant afford it. I dont think she should go back. She is here in the U.S. she has a lot better chance at a good life here. It wasnt her intention to come here and get divorced. She had dreams of the U.S. and now they are shattered. Should she have to give up all her dreams just because of this jerk. I dont think so!

[doodlebugg 10]

She should go home. No reason to stay here in that miserable situation. Why would she want to stay? Isn't the only reason for coming here to be with her husband? If that is not working why stay?

[*JG* 2]

I think she needs to contact a battered women's shelter and get some advice from people who deal with this sort of controlling behavior all the time. They should have the resources to guide her.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

So, what are the options?

2. She can self-apply for adjustment of status based on abuse under Form I-130...but she would need to present evidence to show the nature and extent of abuse (something beyond stories, anyway...and if there is a criminal record, that would be part of the showing).

This is NOT correct. She would file a Form I-360. And that would not be for adjustment of status, it would be a self-petition. Adjustment of status comes much later.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

and this person is/was your friend? Why?

EEEK.

I wish your wife's cousin much luck

Good luck, indeed. Tough situation. Maybe the reason was to help the person get to the U.S.? So, she's here...now what? Do we assume that the person is entitled to a green card? It's this sense of entitlement that is so curious.

Well in this particular case, and based upon the limited information provided, as I read this the alien has demonstrated a willingness to undertake the responsibilities of a marital relationship, but the USC petitioner has interpretted the relationship to mean that he can dictate what his wife does and doesn't do. In my view, that is abuse. Did the alien know she would be subjected to such treatment? How could she?

[joelunchbox 0]

I don't suppose turning him in to the authorities has come up? Seems like we all like to harp on groups of people taking advantage of the system.....

[Mrs.J06 4]

How did this guy get past IMBRA with a criminal record that long? Have none of his convictions been for abuse?

[tito 1]

Oops...360. Correct. Not the 130. Sorry.

"I dont think she should go back. She is here in the U.S. she has a lot better chance at a good life here. It wasnt her intention to come here and get divorced. She had dreams of the U.S. and now they are shattered. Should she have to give up all her dreams just because of this jerk. I dont think so!"

Things don't always work out the way you plan. The cold truth is...there is NO ENTITLEMENT to immigration. Dreams do not translate to entitlement either. MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people dream of coming to the US to make a life that, to them, represens something "better" but not everyone can do that. A flight home is certainly a lot less expensive than undertaking to support an immigrant for the next couple of years, and that was a risk the immigrant takes. Was there abuse here? That would be the subject of the proceedings under a self petition.

Going back to my initial thought on this - who is it that should bear the risk of situations like this? Should immigrants just be given a free ride if things don't work out with their marriage? There are processes available...but after a month? Going back is a very good option, despite the dreams, hopes and expectations. That is the unfortunate problem that faces every immigrant.

Edited February 7, 2008 by tito