ababdonment

[abandoned 0]

After 2 months of marriage, my wife just disappeared. She won't talk, turned off her phone. Her friends aren't talking. I am assuming that she cannot get her green card without me. Is that the case? I get an occasional email saying she is going "someplace". I don't know my rights or hers. I feel very used after over $10K invested and she sneaks away. Should this be reported to USCIS. I want her back, but I think she ran off with someone else

[Jeraly 4]

I am sorry to hear that - I hope someone has some good advice for you...

That was a quick K-3 as well - if you were married for two months and then got the visa in that time! Was she living in the US or...? I'm a little confused.

[tito 1]

After 2 months of marriage, my wife just disappeared. She won't talk, turned off her phone. Her friends aren't talking. I am assuming that she cannot get her green card without me. Is that the case? I get an occasional email saying she is going "someplace". I don't know my rights or hers. I feel very used after over $10K invested and she sneaks away. Should this be reported to USCIS. I want her back, but I think she ran off with someone else

The next you will hear from her is from an attorney claiming abuse so that she can self-apply for a green card under form I-130. She knew about it before she got here, and had it all set up in advance. VERY VERY common for Russian wives. 2 months is about the time-frame. She will claim that you kept her as a sexual slave, that you did not allow her to leave the house, that you locked her in a room, all of that. The attorneys have the forms already pre-filled out. That will lead to domestic violence proceedings for a restraining order, and she might even be taken to a psychologist for all of the trauma she went through at your hands.

Hopefully not...but with many, many, many of the Russians...NOT ALL...this is really standard operating procedure. Do not delay. Seek divorce immediately so that her actions do not result in financial obligations on your part...if she gets into an accident, gets sick, causes injury to someone else, goes out and gets a credit card...it's all going to be on you otherwise. Also disavow any affidavit of support, otherwise she will hook you BIG time. Do not delay on ANY of this. Reconciliation doubtful...but she'll try to hook you again once you go through with this.

This happens very frequently...and in most of the instances I see, anyway, they involve the Russians...it was all a set up.

[Jeraly 4]

Wow tito - didn't realise you knew the OP's wife! Seems like a very specific judgment to make on someone you don't know...

[tito 1]

In the legal practice, it's not just HIS wife...but the story repeats itself over and over and over and over and over and over again...same scenario, and the person is immaterial. Same set-up, same circumstances, same country, same time frame, everything is the same. Don't need to know anybody, husband or wife, to warn of the scenario that he could be facing and, in my professional opinion, one he will likely face given the totality of the circumstances. Sorry. Wish it were different...! I'm NOT judging the person...I am judging the circumstances. You are the one making a judgment of my view and opinion given my background and experience of which you know very little. This is supposed to be a forum of frank discussions regarding a very difficult emotional situation for those who participate here. No sense treating it with kidd gloves...the situation needs to be exposed for what it is, however much it hurts, and I know it does hurt.

Edited February 3, 2008 by tito

[Jeraly 4]

I'm still concerned with how the OP's wife managed to get a K-3 after only two months of marriage. And I still think that you need to consider re-phrasing some of your opinions. But then that, again, is my opinion

[abandoned 0]

After 2 months of marriage, my wife just disappeared. She won't talk, turned off her phone. Her friends aren't talking. I am assuming that she cannot get her green card without me. Is that the case? I get an occasional email saying she is going "someplace". I don't know my rights or hers. I feel very used after over $10K invested and she sneaks away. Should this be reported to USCIS. I want her back, but I think she ran off with someone else

Sorry, K-1. Yes just 2 months. I came home from work one day and she was gone. It seems her friends she met here told her she should have money, credit cards and a car. She couldn't work and never drove before. She was learning and just got a license

[reeses16 8]

Abandoned,

I've very sorry to hear what has happened to you. By chance I was reading another post over the weekend where someone had a concern that their spouse may try to file for AOS on their own claiming abuse. If you are concerned that this may happen to you, I recommend you check out the original thread below. On it tito, gave some specific recommendations about contacting USCIS and the right to testify if your wife does file for her AOS on the grounds of abuse. Also there was a recommendation to contact VJer, "MYSTERY", who has been through this situation.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry1436448

[JVKn'CVO 11]

OP, I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, hope you can sort things out.

In the legal practice, it's not just HIS wife...but the story repeats itself over and over and over and over and over and over again...same scenario, and the person is immaterial. Same set-up, same circumstances, same country, same time frame, everything is the same. Don't need to know anybody, husband or wife, to warn of the scenario that he could be facing and, in my professional opinion, one he will likely face given the totality of the circumstances. Sorry. Wish it were different...! I'm NOT judging the person...I am judging the circumstances. You are the one making a judgment of my view and opinion given my background and experience of which you know very little. This is supposed to be a forum of frank discussions regarding a very difficult emotional situation for those who participate here. No sense treating it with kidd gloves...the situation needs to be exposed for what it is, however much it hurts, and I know it does hurt.

Tito, I'm saddened to see that the bad experience you had with a foreign spouse has (at least from where I see it) bittered you into generalizations. I sincerely hope things get better for you.

Saludos,

Caro

[tito 1]

I had no such experience...apart from professionally when it comes to Russian wives who fly the coop like this. No sympathy requested, implied or otherwise. This stuff happens A LOT...and the benefit of the doubt will only result in disasterous consequences if the scenario is as I depict (and chances are REALLY good that it is). There are real-life consequences here...don't sugar coat this stuff! It's a disservice.

[abandoned 0]

Abandoned,

I've very sorry to hear what has happened to you. By chance I was reading another post over the weekend where someone had a concern that their spouse may try to file for AOS on their own claiming abuse. If you are concerned that this may happen to you, I recommend you check out the original thread below. On it tito, gave some specific recommendations about contacting USCIS and the right to testify if your wife does file for her AOS on the grounds of abuse. Also there was a recommendation to contact VJer, "MYSTERY", who has been through this situation.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry1436448

How do I find out if she has filed on the grounds of abuse? That certainly wasn't the case. She just wanted more money, credit cards and a nice car, even though she didn't work or drive. I am thinking annullment for abandonment and fraud.

[abandoned 0]

I had no such experience...apart from professionally when it comes to Russian wives who fly the coop like this. No sympathy requested, implied or otherwise. This stuff happens A LOT...and the benefit of the doubt will only result in disasterous consequences if the scenario is as I depict (and chances are REALLY good that it is). There are real-life consequences here...don't sugar coat this stuff! It's a disservice.

Yes,she had met mant Russian women who divorced after a short time. I am sure she had advice from all of them. Aren't there any women out there who want to be here for the right reasons???

[Chica Yeyé 41]

abandoned,

Sorry to hear about this; and hoping you can sort it out --- no wise advise or judgment: just sending you the best of vibes.

The next you will hear from her is from an attorney claiming abuse so that she can self-apply for a green card under form I-130. She knew about it before she got here, and had it all set up in advance. VERY VERY common for Russian wives. 2 months is about the time-frame. She will claim that you kept her as a sexual slave, that you did not allow her to leave the house, that you locked her in a room, all of that. The attorneys have the forms already pre-filled out. That will lead to domestic violence proceedings for a restraining order, and she might even be taken to a psychologist for all of the trauma she went through at your hands.

Hopefully not...but with many, many, many of the Russians...NOT ALL...this is really standard operating procedure. Do not delay. Seek divorce immediately so that her actions do not result in financial obligations on your part...if she gets into an accident, gets sick, causes injury to someone else, goes out and gets a credit card...it's all going to be on you otherwise. Also disavow any affidavit of support, otherwise she will hook you BIG time. Do not delay on ANY of this. Reconciliation doubtful...but she'll try to hook you again once you go through with this.

This happens very frequently...and in most of the instances I see, anyway, they involve the Russians...it was all a set up.

tito,

don't you think you are being extremely disrespectful to those VJ members with lovely Russian spouses? Unless it was your experience of course, case in which sorry to hear that.

[tito 1]

No, not my experience, and no, I was VERY careful to limit my comments to the majority I see in the practice of my colleague across the hall, and the constantly never-changing story that is exactly like the one from the OP. My experience is and was quite different. I would hope that EVERY experience of EVERYONE who brings someone here from another country with wide-eyed optimism for a future works out exactly the way they planned. But...in PARTICULAR when it comes to Russian wives, the stories are remarkably similar. I would say ALWAYS, but that would be generalizing.

Let me put it this way. The story repeats itself with people from many places. But...by far...the majority of these situations involve spouses from the former Soviet Union. I don't know what it is, but I do know that they have these services that unite forlorned men in the US looking for a beautiful wife they find through the service in Russia...the Russian counterpart plays the game and it's all worked out in advance...after a couple of months, they go running to authorities claiming abuse, physical restraint, sexual slavery, go after their green card disappearing in the process, leaving the USC in the lurch without hope, not understanding what the hell happened...not having done anything except have faith in love, commitment, and a willingness to do something extraordinary that blew up in their face. Sad...but true...and it does involve Russian wives WAY WAY WAY more than spouses (male or female) from any other country. In my experience and what I see from a professional standpoint, anyway.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

No, not my experience, and no, I was VERY careful to limit my comments to the majority I see in the practice of my colleague across the hall, and the constantly never-changing story that is exactly like the one from the OP. My experience is and was quite different. I would hope that EVERY experience of EVERYONE who brings someone here from another country with wide-eyed optimism for a future works out exactly the way they planned. But...in PARTICULAR when it comes to Russian wives, the stories are remarkably similar. I would say ALWAYS, but that would be generalizing.

Let me put it this way. The story repeats itself with people from many places. But...by far...the majority of these situations involve spouses from the former Soviet Union. I don't know what it is, but I do know that they have these services that unite forlorned men in the US looking for a beautiful wife they find through the service in Russia...the Russian counterpart plays the game and it's all worked out in advance...after a couple of months, they go running to authorities claiming abuse, physical restraint, sexual slavery, go after their green card disappearing in the process, leaving the USC in the lurch without hope, not understanding what the hell happened...not having done anything except have faith in love, commitment, and a willingness to do something extraordinary that blew up in their face. Sad...but true...and it does involve Russian wives WAY WAY WAY more than spouses (male or female) from any other country. In my experience and what I see from a professional standpoint, anyway.

its not fair to malign an entire country...not fair at all

but i actually have seen this scam a couple times where i live involving extremely young russian women with older really sweet guys. the girls i knew were dating moroccans on the side and laughing about it with their russian girlfriends...its really sad...my advice is do not marry way out of your age range or in the looks department. tito, no one wants to deal with this... i actually had not thought about this lately... i saw this about 3 years ago with 3 different girls i knew personally from the fsr...