Installing HUSBAND 101

[jayzar 1]

Dear TechSupport,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly, in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NHL 5.0, CFL 3.0, and Golf 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 4.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

-------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0. (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program ,but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

[msu17 0]

Haha, soooo true!

[GaryC 7]

Upgrading to Wife 1.0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

A "don't remind me again" button.

Minimize button.

Ability to delete the "headache" file

An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.

An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

Bug warning!!!

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and "never" run any file transfer applications(such as Laplink) between the two systems.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

For all you who were considering upgrading Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0 here goes a story :

Dear Wife Help desk,

I have had a bizarre experience beginning with Girlfriend 3.0. I was playing with the registry one day and found that the only difference between Girlfriend 3.0 and Wife 1.0 was one registry value.

Wife 1.0 was pretty cool at first since it didn't have the curfew setting and came with some extra resources I could only demo in Girlfriend 3.0. After a while though some of my favorite features from Girlfriend 3.0 began to run into problems. The headache feature kept pushing the fun feature out of memory and the graphics started to fade. Try as I might, I couldn't get Wife 1.0 to revert to Girlfriend 3.0. Thinking I had nothing to loose I kept twiddling with Wife 1.0 and it spawned RUGRAT 1.0 and RUGRAT 2.0 sub programs. Those have kept me so busy with stack overflows, memory leaks, and sound problems that I haven't had much time to fiddle with Wife 1.0 much anymore. Every time I try, RUGRAT 2.0 seems to make itself memory resident which tends to cause Wife 1.0 to crash. Restarting Wife 1.0 takes so long after that, that I usually pack it in for the night and go to bed.

I've been thinking about the Mistress 1.0 program but I'm worried about the compatibility problems like everyone else. My main concern is that trying to un-install Wife 1.0 will leave me with so few system resources that Mistress 1.0 won't work anymore. Does anyone know if there is a patched version for Wife 1.0 that has the ice graphical features of Girlfriend 3.0 and the utilities I've come to expect with Wife 1.0??

Thanks...

Dave

*Reply from Wife Help Desk*

Dear sir, there currently is no patched version of Wife 1.0 with the specs you define in above last paragraph. However, I do have some useful info re: RUGRAT programs. RUGRATs are metered software apps; that is, after 18 years the applications no longer occupy resident memory and are instead archived to your hard drive. The RUGRATs may be temporarily restored as you like, like on Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. We have been told by users that Wife 1.0 quickly regains much of the original optimum performance levels as before compilation of the RUGRAT subprograms.

One word of caution: we have had a few reports of the metering function malfunctioning, resulting in the RUGRAT occupying resident memory beyond 18 years; in some cases well into 30 or more years.

There is a patch available on our FTP site: UPAYRENT.EXE, which seems to solve the problem.

- Good Luck,

Wife Help Desk

[LuzyC 0]

:lol:

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

When moving computer my Mom often comments "packing your Husband".

[maggieNomar 0]

You guys are all crazy Thanks for the much needed laugh.

[almaty 19]

Upgrading to Wife 1.0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

A "don't remind me again" button.

Minimize button.

Ability to delete the "headache" file

An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.

An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

Bug warning!!!

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and "never" run any file transfer applications(such as Laplink) between the two systems.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.

Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

For all you who were considering upgrading Girlfriend 3.0 to Wife 1.0 here goes a story :

Dear Wife Help desk,

I have had a bizarre experience beginning with Girlfriend 3.0. I was playing with the registry one day and found that the only difference between Girlfriend 3.0 and Wife 1.0 was one registry value.

Wife 1.0 was pretty cool at first since it didn't have the curfew setting and came with some extra resources I could only demo in Girlfriend 3.0. After a while though some of my favorite features from Girlfriend 3.0 began to run into problems. The headache feature kept pushing the fun feature out of memory and the graphics started to fade. Try as I might, I couldn't get Wife 1.0 to revert to Girlfriend 3.0. Thinking I had nothing to loose I kept twiddling with Wife 1.0 and it spawned RUGRAT 1.0 and RUGRAT 2.0 sub programs. Those have kept me so busy with stack overflows, memory leaks, and sound problems that I haven't had much time to fiddle with Wife 1.0 much anymore. Every time I try, RUGRAT 2.0 seems to make itself memory resident which tends to cause Wife 1.0 to crash. Restarting Wife 1.0 takes so long after that, that I usually pack it in for the night and go to bed.

I've been thinking about the Mistress 1.0 program but I'm worried about the compatibility problems like everyone else. My main concern is that trying to un-install Wife 1.0 will leave me with so few system resources that Mistress 1.0 won't work anymore. Does anyone know if there is a patched version for Wife 1.0 that has the ice graphical features of Girlfriend 3.0 and the utilities I've come to expect with Wife 1.0??

Thanks...

Dave

*Reply from Wife Help Desk*

Dear sir, there currently is no patched version of Wife 1.0 with the specs you define in above last paragraph. However, I do have some useful info re: RUGRAT programs. RUGRATs are metered software apps; that is, after 18 years the applications no longer occupy resident memory and are instead archived to your hard drive. The RUGRATs may be temporarily restored as you like, like on Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. We have been told by users that Wife 1.0 quickly regains much of the original optimum performance levels as before compilation of the RUGRAT subprograms.

One word of caution: we have had a few reports of the metering function malfunctioning, resulting in the RUGRAT occupying resident memory beyond 18 years; in some cases well into 30 or more years.

There is a patch available on our FTP site: UPAYRENT.EXE, which seems to solve the problem.

- Good Luck,

Wife Help Desk

good one brother gary

[Sister Fracas 5]

heh....good stuff!

[jayzar 1]

:lol:

[Nessa 23]

at husband 101

[Amby 490]

at both

[MoonlitCherri 0]

that's great! I have yet to run husband 1.0 he hasn't made it to the States yet.

[chispas 0]

That was good. I was a little slow in understanding at first.

[jayzar 1]

wish i can run husband and bf programmes at the same time.