New York Times Story

[AKW65 0]

Ok, this whole thread got a bit off topic. In any case, the reporter called me back today and is flying down to meet me tomorrow. We talked for a while longer and now he is leaning towards writing the story more about the impact of IMBRA and working in the statistics about the number of people seeking spouses from outside the U.S.

Like many of you, I'm not sure how it will all come out but I promise to be careful and state the facts for the most part.

I got an email from the CSC today that they are finally sending my RFE out to me after 3 months. I hope I get that soon!

Good luck to all of you! I'll update this post after the interview in the next day or so.

[William33 110]

AKW65,

I would be hesitant to conduct and interview with a reporter, especially with the ambiguous storyline. As you know, reporters are notorious for hiding the true intent of an interview, until published. Since the storyline has shifted several times, I call this suspect.

At this stage, it sounds as if the agenda is slanted towards "seeking spouses outside the US" as opposed to the impact of IMBRA. The latter, being your primary concern.

If I were you, I would withdraw. Up to you though.

Ok, this whole thread got a bit off topic. In any case, the reporter called me back today and is flying down to meet me tomorrow. We talked for a while longer and now he is leaning towards writing the story more about the impact of IMBRA and working in the statistics about the number of people seeking spouses from outside the U.S.

Like many of you, I'm not sure how it will all come out but I promise to be careful and state the facts for the most part.

I got an email from the CSC today that they are finally sending my RFE out to me after 3 months. I hope I get that soon!

Good luck to all of you! I'll update this post after the interview in the next day or so.

[Teachers 12]

AKW65,

I would be hesitant to conduct and interview with a reporter, especially with the ambiguous storyline. As you know, reporters are notorious for hiding the true intent of an interview, until published. Since the storyline has shifted several times, I call this suspect.

At this stage, it sounds as if the agenda is slanted towards "seeking spouses outside the US" as opposed to the impact of IMBRA. The latter, being your primary concern.

If I were you, I would withdraw. Up to you though.

Tom:

I agree that there is some risk, amount unknown. But I also think there is the potential for reward. The New York Times is liberal, which might mean more likely to find fault with a Republican administration that is not administering well. That could work to our benefit. Also, we have lots of facts, many of which others do not know. Giving them these facts - long delays, arbitrary processing order - you may be able to influence the direction of the story.

Good luck with the interview. We will be looking for your name in print soon!

Tom

[William33 110]

TomYu,

You make a good point, surmising that the OP can "manipulate" the storyline.

As I understand it, Editors usually drive the agenda for a storyline (did you not see the movie: "The Paper")?

It may be worth a try.

AKW65,

I would be hesitant to conduct and interview with a reporter, especially with the ambiguous storyline. As you know, reporters are notorious for hiding the true intent of an interview, until published. Since the storyline has shifted several times, I call this suspect.

At this stage, it sounds as if the agenda is slanted towards "seeking spouses outside the US" as opposed to the impact of IMBRA. The latter, being your primary concern.

If I were you, I would withdraw. Up to you though.

Tom:

I agree that there is some risk, amount unknown. But I also think there is the potential for reward. The New York Times is liberal, which might mean more likely to find fault with a Republican administration that is not administering well. That could work to our benefit. Also, we have lots of facts, many of which others do not know. Giving them these facts - long delays, arbitrary processing order - you may be able to influence the direction of the story.

Good luck with the interview. We will be looking for your name in print soon!

Tom

[AKW65 0]

I agree. I remain cautiously optimistic that maybe some good can come out of the story. Of course it's hard to get a feel for a persons intentions over the phone. I imagine I will have a better idea when I see him face to face.

[Caladan 19]

Good luck! Just be aware of how you might be portrayed. Most people don't understand the K-1 process -- it's either like the movie Green Card, or everyone is a loser who can't deal with dating in the U.S., or everyone wants a submissive foreign lotus flower to abuse. All of which are inaccurate, but who knows what the reporter thinks. So beware of playing into stereotypes that don't reflect on the whole community or process. Might be good to mention that women petition on behalf of men, for example.

Public opinion moves this, not the newspapers, and public opinion won't care much if the spin is 'look at the freaks who date online.'

Contrary to popular belief, the NYT does not always report a liberal line on things. (And a liberal line might not be all that favorable. Easy to spin as 'American men seek foreign women they can control because American women go to college and think.') But I think publicity is probably a good thing for the case and it's not going to hurt (what, the CSC will get slower?). So good luck!

[AKW65 0]

The interview was last night and lasted several hours after which, Mr. Porter and I went to dinner to continue our conversation. He even called to Colombia to speak with Yesenia for about 30 minutes after which he was smiling pretty big at how sweet she was.

I'm not sure how big a part of the story we will be but I think it will be positive. He did say that he wants to inform the public about IMBRA and highlight some of the dynamics of a relationship with a foreign fiancee including the economics, the visa process, and the driving factor to search outside the U.S.

Mr. Porter was a genuinely nice man who grew up in Mexico and is married to a woman he met while living in Brazil. He has lived in many different countries working as a journalist and seems to have a pretty open mind as a result. I liked him. We will see how the story goes, but I'm sure it will be a positive bit of publicity for those of us enduring this process. I will post a new thread with the web link to the story when it is available.

Good Luck & GOD BLESS to all of you. I had two touches in the last two days and got an email the the RFE is coming. I know I will be with my Baby soon and I'm sure you all will too. This is a slow process but in the big scheme of things, it is a twinkling in time compared to a life with the person you love.

Adam

[dougyceci 0]

Good luck with your interview and I echo the other responses here. Just to let you know, I posted an article I found on yahoo yesterday in the CR1 forum that dealt with what is going on with the process and agencies. Was interesting, nothing more, but at least it is something to help us understand what it is we face.

Doug

[Teachers 12]

I a BIG thank you for taking the time and getting our story out! I look forward to seeing it in print!

There is another NY Times reporter speaking about immigration on our campus (University of Utah) this coming week. I will be giving her some of the statistics that I generate on the arbitrary nature of the process. I hope it helps.

(And of course, sitting in the audience for an hour first will give me a better sense of where she's coming from. If she is not sympathetic, I will just stand clear.)

Tom

[AKW65 0]

I a BIG thank you for taking the time and getting our story out! I look forward to seeing it in print!

There is another NY Times reporter speaking about immigration on our campus (University of Utah) this coming week. I will be giving her some of the statistics that I generate on the arbitrary nature of the process. I hope it helps.

(And of course, sitting in the audience for an hour first will give me a better sense of where she's coming from. If she is not sympathetic, I will just stand clear.)

Tom

If you end up chatting with her and she does seem sympathetic, ask her if she knows Eduardo Porter that works at the times. That's the man who interviewed me. He seems very nice and sympathetic while at the same time trying to remain unbiased. Hopefully, this will end up being something more than just passing interesting reading but I sort of doubt it. There are millions of stories out there and it takes a huge one to make the public stop and take notice. Either way, a little publicity can't hurt.

Good luck!

[AKW65 0]

I posted the following in another thread where someone called me a "creepy middle aged bitter divorced guy" or something like that... In any case, I wanted to follow up here in the original post with a reply.

Well folks, I don't know what to say about this except that some of you VJ'ers warned me NOT TO TALK TO THE NEW YORK TIMES!!! You were right. The article is about me and is COMPLETELY TWISTED INTO B.S.!!!!!!

I can tell you that I met the reporter in person face to face, we talked for two hours and then he took me to dinner. EVERY single quote attributed to me is either twisted, or taken completely out of context. There is of course some truth to it. I am divorced. I am not bitter like I was made out to be. It is true that I don't want to have a relationship with someone with children again. I have my reasons.

The pictures they used are the worst possible pictures of me. They failed to mention:

Yesenia speaks fluent English and put herself through classes for two years prior to meeitng me.

Yesenia has a college degree in Business Administration.

Yesenia has her own business in Colombia and is NOT some poor girl looking for any man to take her away from a difficult life.

Yesenia has her own business there and takes care of herself. I did buy her a computer so we could talk more easliy, but the way they say it is as if I'm purchasing a bride.

I have talked to her EVERY day for over a year now. She's had many other offers. I've even told her from DAY ONE, that if she ever had second thoughts, all she had to do is tell me. I would NEVER want her to feel "stuck" with me. She loves me and I love her. I am NOT some creepy middle aged guy like you might think. You can think that if you like, it's not my problem.

The funny thing is, Yesenia is such a positive person that she won't care about the way this reads. She knows how she feels about me and I know how I feel about her.

In closing, I will say this, I got an email from the reporter BEFORE I even knew the story was in the paper apologizing. Here is what he had to say to me today at 10:41 AM:

Hey Adam,

FYI -- a version of the story is in today's paper. I can't say I'm too proud of it. It was cut in half by my editors and stuffed into the paper at the last minute. A bit of a disappointment, really. But it's there.

Anyway, all the best for you and Yesenia.

Eduardo

I'd say that about sums up the fact that the story didn't come out the way it was meant to be.

For the record, I apologize to anyone who has experienced any stress as a result of this story. I had hoped for something completely different. In fact, if you go to the audio/multimedia link, you can hear an interview with her and I over the phone, we don't sound like the story reads at all.

ALSO, the quote attributed to Sam Smith is taken out of context. I spoke to him today and he was flabbergasted!

I forgot to mention one other point, I NEVER went on any "romance" tour, used a translator, etc.. The ONLY thing the ILoveLatins.com agecncy did for me was to give me Yesenia's email address. That's it. Nothing more. I contacted her on my own, got to know her on my own, and went to meet her, eventually get engaged, and plan for our future on my own. This is not any kind of arranged "mail order bride" situation where I'm spending thousands of dollars on some company to provide me with a service and eventually a wife!. I got her email address, that's it. The rest we did as any other couple might if they met on Match.com, eharmony, or any other site...

Adam

[kitkat1 5]

[SirLancelot 1]

I searched for the original article from the NYT, here it is:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/17/us/17bri...amp;oref=slogin

[SirLancelot 1]

For what it's worth Adam, upon reading the article, I didn't attribute 50% of what you end up defending below. I don't think it's as bad as you may think. Obviously when the article is written about you, it sounds to you much more critical than to others. I didn't think it was so bad. Honestly, I think it could have been much worse.

Best wishes.

I posted the following in another thread where someone called me a "creepy middle aged bitter divorced guy" or something like that... In any case, I wanted to follow up here in the original post with a reply.

Well folks, I don't know what to say about this except that some of you VJ'ers warned me NOT TO TALK TO THE NEW YORK TIMES!!! You were right. The article is about me and is COMPLETELY TWISTED INTO B.S.!!!!!!

I can tell you that I met the reporter in person face to face, we talked for two hours and then he took me to dinner. EVERY single quote attributed to me is either twisted, or taken completely out of context. There is of course some truth to it. I am divorced. I am not bitter like I was made out to be. It is true that I don't want to have a relationship with someone with children again. I have my reasons.

The pictures they used are the worst possible pictures of me. They failed to mention:

Yesenia speaks fluent English and put herself through classes for two years prior to meeitng me.

Yesenia has a college degree in Business Administration.

Yesenia has her own business in Colombia and is NOT some poor girl looking for any man to take her away from a difficult life.

Yesenia has her own business there and takes care of herself. I did buy her a computer so we could talk more easliy, but the way they say it is as if I'm purchasing a bride.

I have talked to her EVERY day for over a year now. She's had many other offers. I've even told her from DAY ONE, that if she ever had second thoughts, all she had to do is tell me. I would NEVER want her to feel "stuck" with me. She loves me and I love her. I am NOT some creepy middle aged guy like you might think. You can think that if you like, it's not my problem.

The funny thing is, Yesenia is such a positive person that she won't care about the way this reads. She knows how she feels about me and I know how I feel about her.

In closing, I will say this, I got an email from the reporter BEFORE I even knew the story was in the paper apologizing. Here is what he had to say to me today at 10:41 AM:

Hey Adam,

FYI -- a version of the story is in today's paper. I can't say I'm too proud of it. It was cut in half by my editors and stuffed into the paper at the last minute. A bit of a disappointment, really. But it's there.

Anyway, all the best for you and Yesenia.

Eduardo

I'd say that about sums up the fact that the story didn't come out the way it was meant to be.

For the record, I apologize to anyone who has experienced any stress as a result of this story. I had hoped for something completely different. In fact, if you go to the audio/multimedia link, you can hear an interview with her and I over the phone, we don't sound like the story reads at all.

ALSO, the quote attributed to Sam Smith is taken out of context. I spoke to him today and he was flabbergasted!

I forgot to mention one other point, I NEVER went on any "romance" tour, used a translator, etc.. The ONLY thing the ILoveLatins.com agecncy did for me was to give me Yesenia's email address. That's it. Nothing more. I contacted her on my own, got to know her on my own, and went to meet her, eventually get engaged, and plan for our future on my own. This is not any kind of arranged "mail order bride" situation where I'm spending thousands of dollars on some company to provide me with a service and eventually a wife!. I got her email address, that's it. The rest we did as any other couple might if they met on Match.com, eharmony, or any other site...

Adam

[Yodrak 7]

Adam,

That is precisely one of the things that IMBRA is targeting - the giving out a foreigner's contact information. Without first getting the background of the American person to whom they are giving the contact information , sharing that background with the foreigner, and getting the foreigner's 'go-ahead' to provide the contact information to that particular American person.

Yodrak

....

I forgot to mention one other point, I NEVER went on any "romance" tour, used a translator, etc.. The ONLY thing the ILoveLatins.com agecncy did for me was to give me Yesenia's email address. That's it. Nothing more. .......

Adam

William,

You threw 3 strikes in a row with these posts. Congratulations.

Yodrak

AKW65,

I would be hesitant to conduct and interview with a reporter, especially with the ambiguous storyline. As you know, reporters are notorious for hiding the true intent of an interview, until published. Since the storyline has shifted several times, I call this suspect.

At this stage, it sounds as if the agenda is slanted towards "seeking spouses outside the US" as opposed to the impact of IMBRA. The latter, being your primary concern.

If I were you, I would withdraw. Up to you though.

.....

As I understand it, Editors usually drive the agenda for a storyline (did you not see the movie: "The Paper")?

.