Should I adopt stepdaughter to bring her here with my wife?

[nyankee 0]

Well, i want to take terminate the father's rights bc i do not want to deal with him anymore in the future, or have to pay him money anything else that could come up where i would need his permission.

I guess what i'll do is terminate his rights, then file the i130 for my stepdaughter. Also ask a lawyer or us embassy in bolivia, if it is possible to use the new birth certificate. I was thinking of terminating the father's rights, and then after giving her my last name i would also formally adopt her. I just have to find out if i can do the adoption and bolivia, or if i have to do it here to change her name. That way she gets her visa with my last name and any other document from that point. Maybe, i need some other type of document besides a bith certificate to get her visa under my name.

Just my 2 cents. If someone was "forcing' me into terminating my parental rights then that would most likely result in me saying FU and I would be extremely uncooperative.... If someone approached me in a spirit of cooperation, then I might be more agreeable...

I understand the want to eliminate "heartburn" from the non-custodial parent in the future but what else could he get in the way of? My stepson has been here almost 3 years and we have had zero issues with his biological father. In these almost three years, the father has called twice to speak to his "son". The only document we had signed was the "permission to emigrate". The only potential thing standing in our way that I can see before the child turns 18 is his passport will expire early next year. We will need the biological father's "signature" for a renewal, but it is also not a huge problem if we don't since he is also on my wife's passport and they can just travel together. My wife also feels that if the child calls his father and asks for his signature he will get it. She is confident the father will not say "no" to his son.

You do not need to wait until you have this agreement to file the I-130... you can begin the I-130 process now and as long as you have what you need by the time the visa is ready to be issued 6-8 mos. from now. By waiting for this "event" to occur before submitting the I-130 you are building in a significant delay.

The name is so insignificant... you could petition to change her name in the states (process and eligibility requirements are dependent on your states name change laws) all after the fact if it is so important to you that she has "your" name. There is no advantage from an immigration standpoint for the child to have "your" name.

Well, i'm not in any hurry to file for my stepdaughter yet. I want to bring my wife here first and get stable financially. I'm using my parents to cosponsor for my wife, since i never filed taxes bc i'm a full time college student. So, i want to use the time i have before i file for my stepdaughter to deal with the problems with her father. You see, i wanted to have a good relationship with my stepdaughter's father, but it can't happen bc this guy does not care about her and just wants to use this situation to get money off of us. I do not want to be paying this guy and be dealing with this ####### everytime we need his signature.

Anyway, after i get him to give up his parental rights, which includes his last name, I will see if i can adopt her, even though she will already use my last name in bolivia after her father gives up his rights, but i want to adopt her too to have more documents to back up the name change in Bolivia. We just want to see if it is possible to get my stepdaughter's visa and greencard with my last name, and get it over with. Bc he won't legally be her father anymore, plus ill adopt her. I don't see why they would issue her visa under a name that is not legal in Bolivia anymore, if i have the proper proof to back up the name change. I will find out what i have to do to make it happen when i speak with a lawyer tomorrow.

You have no money. As a practical matter, how do you plan to pay a lawyer to file a legal action to terminate the father's rights? Have you considered the psychological damage to your daughter. A court proceeding may be more damaging to her than paying off her father. You need to get beyond your hatred for this man and do what is in the best interest of your step-daughter even if it means putting up with s h i t you don't like.

And what do you think im doing? My daughter doesnt even consider that man as her father. The only thing he has done all his life is let her down. When he cheated on my wife and left her, he did not care if they ate or not. My wife and stepdaughter went through some rough times. My stepdaughter loves me, and calls me dad because since i got with her mother she has had a father figure. She actually mentioned to my wife that she wanted to have the same same as her brother, who will be born this january. So, trust me the situation, isnt liek you think it is. I am doing this for a reason. As for the money, i will have enough. I can work for my father's company for a good salary when i want. Plus, the lawyer in charging me 200 bucks for getting the father's right taken away, and for the adoption it will probably be less than 1000. So this is the in the best interest of my family, we do not need a a man like that in our lives. Now, if in the future my stepdaughter wants a relationship with him, i won't mind, thats up to her.

[bhajishah 4]

Have you known them and feel comfortabel enough to make this commitment. Coz as you knoqw in USa iadoption is more solid than the marriages!!

[NickD 203]

Sounds like my history with my 14 year old step daughter, did kick adoption around by talking to professionals, extremely expensive, has to be completed before the child was 16 and the process takes at least four years in her country. Plus you need the biological fathers permission.

Step daughters biological father abandoned her when she was seven years old and moved to a different country, first we had to locate him, then get him to agree to release the child to his mother with full custody and give his permission for her to leave her country, even though he was not a part of it. Then tried to use this as a means to blackmail her mother, but we had in our favor the fact that he owed seven years of back child support payments with four more years of it. Like in this country, if a father does not pay child support, it's up to the mom to take court action, my wife to be at the time never did that. This ensued in a court battle, but we had all the cards in our favor, in a bluff, even offered to award full custody of his child to him, he backed off of that. But we needed that paper even before applying for the I-130.

I wouldn't have thought much of my wife if she abandoned her child, and of course, she didn't even want the thought of that, we both agreed, this matter had to be taken care of, it was, so when I applied for the I-130, applied for both of them at precisely the same time. Since our marriage was less than two years, our daughter received the conditional card as well as her mom. So she tailgated her mom on the I-751, but did turn 18 before we could apply for the N-400, she will be applying for USC in seven months from today.

You can expect some emotional problems with a rejected child that have to be dealt with, but still had my house rules about staying out of trouble and getting good grades in school. Was really shocked with Venezuela, her passport expired when she was 16 years old, their consulate would not renew it without her biological fathers permission, even with the court order.

Wife and daughter both were afraid to contact him, besides the rest of the story, this guy was a wife beater, so I contacted him, he wanted $10,000.00 to sign that permission slip. Told this to my daughter, she could wait until she was 18, our only other choice. Venezuelan laws are unbelievable, they even knew he was a wife beater. Well she finally got her passport when she was 18, I did buy her a plane ticket so she could visit her family, she looked him up as an adult and told me, he is a complete a$$hole. This changed her attitude completely and came home a different person and is on the high honor roll at her university and gave me a big hug for being a good dad.

You really have to talk this over with your wife as to the best course of action. when things for us really looked bleak, first and only time I really saw her cry, it's her daughter. We will get through this and fortunately, I had the cash to get it done. Courts in both Venezuela and Colombia are corrupt, so it takes a couple of extra bucks to get them moving. But considered the moral aspects even more, this is a human life that cannot be ignored. Things for us are going very smooth now, but it was a battle for awhile.

If the USCIS is reading this, wife has been a USC for over a year now, we are still married and very happy and our daughter is doing very well. I didn't like being treated like a criminal by them. Wife is so sweet, can't even comprehend anyone beating her, but she wants me to stay far away from her ex, but wouldn't mind spending a couple of minutes with him to learn if he could beat me up.

Get your paper work in order, first thing the USCIS wants to see about your step child, is that paper work. Also cost me a small fortune to have it translated by a court certified translator. No question about it's legality. And bring your wife and child here on the same plane.

[nyankee 0]

Sounds like my history with my 14 year old step daughter, did kick adoption around by talking to professionals, extremely expensive, has to be completed before the child was 16 and the process takes at least four years in her country. Plus you need the biological fathers permission.

Step daughters biological father abandoned her when she was seven years old and moved to a different country, first we had to locate him, then get him to agree to release the child to his mother with full custody and give his permission for her to leave her country, even though he was not a part of it. Then tried to use this as a means to blackmail her mother, but we had in our favor the fact that he owed seven years of back child support payments with four more years of it. Like in this country, if a father does not pay child support, it's up to the mom to take court action, my wife to be at the time never did that. This ensued in a court battle, but we had all the cards in our favor, in a bluff, even offered to award full custody of his child to him, he backed off of that. But we needed that paper even before applying for the I-130.

I wouldn't have thought much of my wife if she abandoned her child, and of course, she didn't even want the thought of that, we both agreed, this matter had to be taken care of, it was, so when I applied for the I-130, applied for both of them at precisely the same time. Since our marriage was less than two years, our daughter received the conditional card as well as her mom. So she tailgated her mom on the I-751, but did turn 18 before we could apply for the N-400, she will be applying for USC in seven months from today.

You can expect some emotional problems with a rejected child that have to be dealt with, but still had my house rules about staying out of trouble and getting good grades in school. Was really shocked with Venezuela, her passport expired when she was 16 years old, their consulate would not renew it without her biological fathers permission, even with the court order.

Wife and daughter both were afraid to contact him, besides the rest of the story, this guy was a wife beater, so I contacted him, he wanted $10,000.00 to sign that permission slip. Told this to my daughter, she could wait until she was 18, our only other choice. Venezuelan laws are unbelievable, they even knew he was a wife beater. Well she finally got her passport when she was 18, I did buy her a plane ticket so she could visit her family, she looked him up as an adult and told me, he is a complete a$$hole. This changed her attitude completely and came home a different person and is on the high honor roll at her university and gave me a big hug for being a good dad.

You really have to talk this over with your wife as to the best course of action. when things for us really looked bleak, first and only time I really saw her cry, it's her daughter. We will get through this and fortunately, I had the cash to get it done. Courts in both Venezuela and Colombia are corrupt, so it takes a couple of extra bucks to get them moving. But considered the moral aspects even more, this is a human life that cannot be ignored. Things for us are going very smooth now, but it was a battle for awhile.

If the USCIS is reading this, wife has been a USC for over a year now, we are still married and very happy and our daughter is doing very well. I didn't like being treated like a criminal by them. Wife is so sweet, can't even comprehend anyone beating her, but she wants me to stay far away from her ex, but wouldn't mind spending a couple of minutes with him to learn if he could beat me up.

Get your paper work in order, first thing the USCIS wants to see about your step child, is that paper work. Also cost me a small fortune to have it translated by a court certified translator. No question about it's legality. And bring your wife and child here on the same plane.

Yeah, we talked to the father last night, and he wants 1,000 bucks to give up his parental rights...... We'll we're starting the process next week. A lawyer in bolivia told me it would take 1-2 months for the court to approve it. It would take 8 months, if the father did not want to, but i guess 1,000 bucks is what his daughter is worth to him. After he signs the papers the mother has full custody, and the father's last name is also removed from my stepdaughter compeltely, even in her birth certificate. After that, i just have to recognize her as my daughter and give her my last name, kind of like an adoption, but i'm married to her mother, so the lawyer said it was not necessary to adopt her to give her my last name. Anyway, that is in bolivia. Would that be enough paper work to file for my stepdaughter using my last name? that way my stepdaughter would be able to get her visa with my last name, and any future documents. Or would i still need to adopt her to use my last name in the I-130. How can this be done?

[nyankee 0]

I guess nobody knows.

[cHiQy 1]

How about, my daughter, 6 yrs old and in the Philippines. I didn't put her father's name in her Birth Certificate, so it's blank. Her father didn't support her and me ever since I was pregnant. Nobody knows where he is right now.

My USC husband now is planning to petition her, so do we still need a notarized consent from him? If so, I really don't know where in the hell I could find him

Edited September 17, 2009 by cHiQy

[Ling Ling 22]

How about, my daughter, 6 yrs old and in the Philippines. I didn't put her father's name in her Birth Certificate, so it's blank. Her father didn't support her and me ever since I was pregnant. Nobody knows where he is right now.

My USC husband now is planning to petition her, so do we still need a notarized consent from him? If so, I really don't know where in the hell I could find him

There are provisions for such, but you'll have to check with the local authorities. You may need to present proof, or a statement to the effect that you are unaware of the identity of the father and unable to locate him. Once approved, that would take the place of his consent.

[cHiQy 1]

how about getting court order sole custody?

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Would that be enough paper work to file for my stepdaughter using my last name? that way my stepdaughter would be able to get her visa with my last name, and any future documents. Or would i still need to adopt her to use my last name in the I-130. How can this be done?

You need to talk to an immigration lawyer for your final answer...

Regarding name on the Visa & Green Card, you do realize that the VISA is just a stamp on her passport right? The name on it will be the petitioner's name as the beneficiary is identified by the passport which holds the VISA STAMP.

Do you really care if her passport & greencard have her mother's maiden name on them for a little while? Once she's here, which is the main goal of all of this right, then you can legally change her last name as her mom is the sole legal parent and you'll have the legal documents to prove that, After her name is changed you can file with the appropriate agencies to correct her name on the passport, greencard etc.

Why are you so determined to complicate something that is already a pain in the backside?

How about, my daughter, 6 yrs old and in the Philippines. I didn't put her father's name in her Birth Certificate, so it's blank. Her father didn't support her and me ever since I was pregnant. Nobody knows where he is right now.

My USC husband now is planning to petition her, so do we still need a notarized consent from him? If so, I really don't know where in the hell I could find him

cHiQy, look at my signature and PM my wife she'll guide you for how to proceed in the PH. You basically already have sole custody if you were never married to her father.

Edited September 17, 2009 by Bob 4 Anna