SAWASDEE 3 (2009 Thai thread restarted)

[HYENA 4]

http://www.simply-thai.com/Thailand_page_P...re_marriage.htm

The door ceremony is the part where you give money to people. She thinks it will be the younger one's of her family doing the gold/silver gate thing.

The only reason money was thought of is because she said if we gave each guest a dollar and signed it as a memento, they'd love it since most have never seen a USD before. I personally think that's tacky. She tells me other gifts end up right in the trash. I think towels are a good idea, though. ...then I thought why not make it $5 bills if only 30 people come.

I have no idea! What do you all suggest? She's trying to keep the cost down (financially I'm taking a big hit like everyone else). Hopefully things will improve or I'll have to go back to my 9-5 job.

Aaron! Congratulations! THat's sooo cool! And to think you filed a month after I did (I'm soo jealous BUT I also accept the fact that things are NOT supposed to happen until they're supposed to happen...so she was supposed to come home when she did)!.

I've GOT to hear your stories! What does she think of it here (other than COLD)....comments, etc???

I'm debating going for the ceremony (they're stuck on 3/21 ceremony...luck and all that so I won't knock it) which means she'll have to interview alone (even though I can't interview with her in the first place) and come here alone...or I go back in another month or 2 when USCIS gets their act together and bring her here. I'd sooo love to bring her here.

Very frustrating! My friend flew out there to be my best man (and is being a complete idiot...long story but he's a doozie)!

I wish I could have sent a diff friend but he's there so I'll have to go. She wants to make a bunch of pics for gifts for everyone...but she said it takes a week to develop them. I asked "wedding pics before the wedding?" I'd like to get a little tan for a week (she said "they can put make up on you")! LOL! Oh my! She doesn't understand the desire for a little natural color (I'm white as a dead man here in the cold winter).

[HYENA 4]

I have never heard of handing out money either, we certainly did not at our ceremony.

She's been telling everyone gifts are not necessary but I told her yes we could do gifts (but keep it cheap).

Gifts are usual,l but the gifts are not based on what was given. We bought towels for everyone, which I was told was fairly common. So everyone who came was given a towel, and we also gave out bottles of coke, fanta, whiskey, and at the end of the day when people who did not make the ceremony came by we would give them left over pork (I bought two pigs for the ceremony), and other food items, and more soda.

I'm sorry, I didn't clarify. A couple people wanted to give us a bit more money and she was thinking in turn to give them something nice (approx value). It was the gold/silver gate ceremony...she said stuff envelopes and have them ready for the gate keepers who ask "Are you wealthy enough to take her as your bride...ok then prove it" sort of thing and everyone has fun. She said most will be very shy but youngsters may not be so...and a few hundred baht to make people happy when the big picture is it won't bee too much...if it makes them smile, I told her we can do most of the little stuff. Neither of us are a fan of 9 monks though so that's a relief.

The only reason I mentioned money to guests was because it was her idea to give something people wouldn't throw away (american money with a note on it) and they could spend it if they really had to but most would keep it as a special thing (first time she saw a USD she kept it and has had it for a decade). ...so that was her thinking. I'm thinking the dollar thing with something...I dunno!

You guys probably know about the farang factor better than I. She's thinking 30-40 max (I'm going to plan on 60-80 farang factor though). No slaughtering animals and the high monk is out so maybe booze are in.

I'm for music and dancing but don't want slobbering drunks around....I have no idea the price, either. My first wedding we did box wines and kegs of beer with a star lit tent, music and dancing. It was very inexpensive and elegant at the same time...200 guests 5 grand for everything from clothes, favors to finish.

Any suggestions would be welcome. It's so nice to see people's cases are progressing nicely. Still no NOA2 here

[HYENA 4]

One thing about CTHAI.COM they were SO COOL and actually supplied me with my ENTIRE CALL LOG SINCE MARCH!!!

That's incredible! Pages of calls! I was so thrilled, I emailed the lady and told her I'd do something nice for her when I got to BKK. I had no call evidence so i changed to VOIP DISCOUNT that keeps a log (not sure if you can print it though).

but I can only dream the interview will come....

[daboyz 36]

I'm for music and dancing but don't want slobbering drunks around

Run that by the Thai guys. There's gonna be slobbering drunks. I haven't read most of your posts, but if there are Thai men there, they will want an unlimited supply of Saeng Som, or Lao Khao. Especially if you are going to Isaan. Give it to them.

[HYENA 4]

I'm for music and dancing but don't want slobbering drunks around

Run that by the Thai guys. There's gonna be slobbering drunks. I haven't read most of your posts, but if there are Thai men there, they will want an unlimited supply of Saeng Som, or Lao Khao. Especially if you are going to Isaan. Give it to them.

Yes, last time I went there they asked for a couple bucks for sake (they call it whiskey but...whatever). They mix it with yadong (ginger ginseng stuff...kind of sweet and red colored powder). IT has a tiger on it (everything makes you strong as a tiger...reality...sleeping drunk)! They don't drink much at all due to money so the only times it happens is when my fiancee comes and definitely when I come.

When I went there, I asked why everyone sitting around drinking. SHe said they likely havne't done it in months...I put 2 and 2 together...that's where the 300 baht she asked me for went! LOL!

They do about 3-4 shots, lay on the eating table, look up and smile. No fights luckily (except the 11 year old who steals it).

So you suggest I go ahead and spring for some beer or whiskey for them? I don't want slobbering drunks but I do want them to feel happy and festive. My thoughts were (if they only had kegs) have the ceremony and towards the end, break out the booze after they've eaten then they can do as they please while we go to bed.

So how do you disperse booze without having slobbering drunks? I think it would be good to have a dry ceremony to keep the stragglers away then after everyone is set, put out the supply and that's that.

Is this what you're suggesting? If they had kegs, it would keep the cost down. THe rice booze is cheap though but I'm not sure if people will get too drunk too fast with it since it's like gasoline!

[afisher 0]

Probably one of the biggest parts of any type of Thai party (especially when a Western man is involved and especially in Issan) is the drinking. Buy a bunch of alcohol, sticky rice, and bbq pork and have a good time.

If you want to do this Thai style then you better have a bunch of Sang Som and lao kow.

[daboyz 36]

My wife's visa was DENIED. I owe the IRS money, but I am on a payment plan. not sure what to do now.

[dvddvd 0]

My wife's visa was DENIED. I owe the IRS money, but I am on a payment plan. not sure what to do now.

I'm very sorry to hear about this and I don't have any advice. Post your situation on the overall k1 forum too. More people there will know what your options are.

dvd

[daboyz 36]

So some more details. It was the famous fat bald white guy. He started yelling at her. I'm sending more proof.

[bill13060 0]

So some more details. It was the famous fat bald white guy. He started yelling at her. I'm sending more proof.

Sorry to hear your having a hard time. I don't know what this guys problem is. He seems like a very unhappy individual. Sounds like he needs to get a better fullfilling job or a nice girlfriend or something. i can't imagine why he would start yelling at your wife. i wish there was something that could be done or complain to someone to see about them adjusting his attitude. there is no reason for him to treat people that way.

[HYENA 4]

My wife's visa was DENIED. I owe the IRS money, but I am on a payment plan. not sure what to do now.

HOLY MFSH**

What happened? Oh my! Just denied or delayed? Insane!

IRS Ok I understand...is that the only reason why? I'll look at your interview stuff..

I'm SO SORRY! THIS IS AWFUL!

I'm angry for you but i'm sure that doesn't help. What about a later plan...did they give any other options?

Now I'm scared!

[HYENA 4]

http://www.path2usa.com/immigration/visito...isa_refusal.htm

I'd apply immediately (use a lawyer then you can get your money back but ask if the government fees are refundable if you're not approved, as well)...just a thought.

Can you go back to your other plan or was that canceled once this was denied? What exactly did he yell at your wife about? I'm dying to know what angered him.

I'll have to let my fiancee know and also the attorney's office how to handle him appropriately. My fiancee said if they stress her, her raction (she views as angry, I view as justification) she says would be "you mean I want to uproot my entire life, move to a country with a man I don't love and no friends or relatives for...what?" When she was telling me of her "angry" response, it was in her high pitched kind voice....I don't think she could get angry at a stranger if she had to (but who knows).

I'm jsut wondering what the dynamics are. I need to read other posts of this individual...Aaron may have some information. It would be god to figure out what this man expects and do out best to provide exactly what he expects from us to avoid any discomfort. My guess is there was a huge misunderstanding and it went on. That's the only reason I've angered at any Thai (unless it was a scam but when I'm scammed, I usually laugh because I couldn't see it coming and it's usually a few dollars).

I guess "figuring him out" in that we are meeting and exceeding his expectations is all we can do. Mutual respect is a no brainier but my guess is someone said something that was misinterpreted as offensive and it went from there. This is so unfortunate.

I'm calling to file my taxes next week and be done with that. I only hope it doesn't come out to my needing a co-sponsor. How much exactly is 125% and is that 125% WITH wife as a dependent or before she's a dependent?

I doubt I can deduct her on taxes anyway, can I...not that I need any more, that's for sure!

I'm really really worried. I was debating to go to the ceremony party then come home and she'd come by her self.. After reading of these issues, i think being there with her to support her would be best.

I'm looking forward to going back and seeing her. She looked like sunshine on the webcam this morning....I'm praying she can come live with me. If this isn't an ongoing relationship, I don't know what is!

So once you pay them back, my guess is you'd be OK...maybe they just threw that in there. I read on a Vietnamese forum that someone was denied and they checked something in addition (perhaps they like a double denial or no denial)?

I'm so so so sorry to hear that! Re apply now and maybe 7 months you'll have someone else. Also, maybe your taxes will be done and you'll have even more evidence.

I've got a pit in my stomach about this. I can't imagine how you feel right now. I am so so so terribly sorry!

[daboyz 36]

Hell Ya!!!

"During the interview, the applicant submitted only 5 photos, some money

transfers, 2 cards. Your 2007 income is above the poverty guidelines,

but the consular officer has noted an IRS lien of 11K from JUN 2008,

which would bring the income to below poverty guidelines. Thus, in

order to process the case, the applicant needs to submit more

substantial evidence of relationship and information about the lien."

Now I know.

[HYENA 4]

Hell Ya!!!

"During the interview, the applicant submitted only 5 photos, some money

transfers, 2 cards. Your 2007 income is above the poverty guidelines,

but the consular officer has noted an IRS lien of 11K from JUN 2008,

which would bring the income to below poverty guidelines. Thus, in

order to process the case, the applicant needs to submit more

substantial evidence of relationship and information about the lien."

Now I know.

that sounds much better .i wonder how long u have to get a cosponsor and more evidence...thats much better. i know he's tough cookie from what i read but maybe he feels his time is wasted or he's frustrated when he can't justifiably approve.

[AaronLV 12]

Hell Ya!!!

"During the interview, the applicant submitted only 5 photos, some money

transfers, 2 cards. Your 2007 income is above the poverty guidelines,

but the consular officer has noted an IRS lien of 11K from JUN 2008,

which would bring the income to below poverty guidelines. Thus, in

order to process the case, the applicant needs to submit more

substantial evidence of relationship and information about the lien."

Now I know.

that sounds much better .i wonder how long u have to get a cosponsor and more evidence...thats much better. i know he's tough cookie from what i read but maybe he feels his time is wasted or he's frustrated when he can't justifiably approve.

The Bangkok embassy does not allow co-sponsors. There was another guy that got denied last week because he had a co-sponsor.

Also why not wait to file your 2008 taxes until after the interview, if you are above the poverty line in 2007. They cannot ask for a 2008 tax return until after the filing deadline in April.