Dear Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Since you are the VJ fashion mave, I am turning to you in these uncertain fashion times. Like you, I enjoy a colorful polyester ensemble, whether shopping, socializing or working. One can never go wrong with polyester! And a nice pair of white, knee-high pleather boots to complete the look. Sadly, polyester is not cosidered as fashionable as it once was, though synthetic materials still rule in the shoe worl. Which leads me to my question:

Crocs? Though sythetic, these reptilian wannabes are an affront to the shoe lover and fashionistas everywhere. Joyce, what cane we do to stop the insanity (short of contacting Susan Powter)? I look to you for guidance in these troubled times!

Yours truly,

Those shoes are a crock, alright!

Dear Julez:

Why, these aren't uncertain fashion times at all! Although I understand that it can be difficult to buck current trends. You can bet I've been doing it since 1975! You're absolutely right that you can't go wrong with polyester, and I continue to admire your tasteful displays of cutting-edge synthetic grooviness!

I admit that I had to ask Phyllis, one of my younger backup singers, about these Crocs. I thought maybe Crocs were some kind of newfangled toilet design. Silly me! Anyway, I've done a bit of research, and I agree that these are nothing but a passing fancy. I bet the same people who embrace Crocs also enjoy frozen store-brand nondairy whipped topping from a can! Pass on the Crocs, I say, and get the real thing! Goodness!

Love,

Joyce

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

As you know, I am a big fan. I was researching your exotic and glamorous life for unauthorized biography, "Joyce: Cool AND Whipped", and I came across this... care to comment?

Wannabejournalist.

Edited July 29, 2008 by Len_and_Bren

[almaty 19]

hmmmmmmm...sounds to me like some sibling rivalry

Edited July 29, 2008 by almaty

[Chica Yeyé 41]

hmmmmmmm...sounds to me like some sibling rivalry

I know brother... and the public wants to know... specially since no one knows what became of the little brother :unsure:

[almaty 19]

well, i heard years ago..a child' small arm was found at the Cool Whip Factory in a vat.......

[Chica Yeyé 41]

well, i heard years ago..a child' small arm was found at the Cool Whip Factory in a vat.......

Oh my! Oh my!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

As you know, I am a big fan. I was researching your exotic and glamorous life for unauthorized biography, "Joyce: Cool AND Whipped", and I came across this... care to comment?

Wannabejournalist.

Dear Wannabejournalist:

Goodness! Now, I certainly wouldn't have written such a thing! Even as a young Joyce, I embraced everyone and everything: siblings, puppies, nylon, thalidomide, etc. I do say, though, I'd always been a tad jealous of my younger brother's helmet, which was nearly as glorious as mine but with half the maintenance cost! But at some point, his hair began thinning, while mine seemed to be growing by the day! I tried to comfort him with Cool Whip, but he didn't seem bothered in the least. It seems that his shrinking helmet was actually something of a relief! Males, you know, sometimes I just don't understand!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

well, i heard years ago..a child' small arm was found at the Cool Whip Factory in a vat.......

Goodness, Dean! You've been reading those urban legends again! That was a completely baseless rumor started by the thugs who push imitation Cool Whip!

Love,

Joyce

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

It seems like in the past weeks, VJ has been overrun by the real life adventures of Ken, and little if any we have heard from you . I wonder if you think this is appropriate; and, knowing that you are an expert in matters of the heart (and on how to avoid cotton fabrics ), I would like your opinion. Do you think Ken will eventually get back with Onelis? Are you afraid he will become more famous than you?

Please come back Dear Joyce, VJ needs you

Little Ms. In Tears

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

Have you abandoned your devoted followers?

In these troubling times we look to you for guidance, now more than ever.

I will re-Joyce when you respond!

Miss you, girl!

julez

[almaty 19]

i am with sister len and sister julez....sister joyce, needs to post more...

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

It seems like in the past weeks, VJ has been overrun by the real life adventures of Ken, and little if any we have heard from you . I wonder if you think this is appropriate; and, knowing that you are an expert in matters of the heart (and on how to avoid cotton fabrics ), I would like your opinion. Do you think Ken will eventually get back with Onelis? Are you afraid he will become more famous than you?

Please come back Dear Joyce, VJ needs you

Little Ms. In Tears

Goodness!

Please forgive me! I've been remiss in my advice-dispensing duties, but wait until you hear why!

Yes, I, Dear Joyce, was involved in a rumble last week. A rumble! I and my highly talented (and very well-dressed) lounge act were enjoying a night off in Down East Maine when we encountered a Pampered Chef cartel! Right there in front of the bar! Well, some of you readers may know that I am very loyal to Tupperware, so I was not amused! They think they can just steamroll over us with their newfangled food choppers and pizza stones! Well, I don't need to get into the details, but suffice it to say, I was none the worse for wear, and not one of those floozies was a match for my Joyce helmet. All hail Tupperware!

Anyway, regarding Ken and Onelis, is that a singing duo? Does Ken play the accordion? Can Onelis sing in the timeless style of Rosemary Clooney? (We have an interesting sound!) If so, do you think they might be interested in becoming our opening act?

Love,

Joyce

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

Goodness, its been ages since we, your fans, have heard from your good self.

I am wondering if you have any advice on how to survive the remainder of this election season? It seems no matter where I turn I am blasted with ugly news from the campaign trail and I am growing weary. What do you make of all this?

Joyce, I know in troubled times I can always turn to you for a calming word and a polyester outfit.

Love,

julez

[almaty 19]

i agree with sister juklez.,..your guidance in needed

[Peikko 1,575]

Dear Joyce

Why does Ms Palin eschew your dress code of polyester in favour of silks and linens? Does this betray an inner insecurity do you suppose?

Yours clinging to the synthetics

Cleo (Your fortune is my pleasure)