WHO PAYS FOR ALL THE PLANE TICKETS

[SaadBell 0]

Just a quick question for all the American women, did you pay for your plane ticket over to see your love, or did he pay for you? I understand they are from poor countries, but I am not that rich either, and not a sugar mama. Just really interested, because I have a husband in Egypt, whom I never talked to, but I paid for the plane ticket to see him and now i am paying all of this off working myself to an early grave. I guess I am a little old fashion and would like the man to take care of some of this, but maybe that is not the way things work. So please share with me who pays for what and did you feel kinda of mad if you have to pay all the bills, is it almost like buying a husband. That is how i feel now.

[doodlebug 3]

Why don't you talk to him?

I'll get flamed for this I'm sure but what the heck, it's been slow here lately. I will pay for his ticket and I do send him some $$$ to cover the visa expenses. If he were living at home and wasn't paying rent and supporting his two sisters then I would not do this, but because of the situation he is in, I don't mind. The exchange rate is like what, 1 usd to 5.5 egyptian pounds or something?

I am keeping a running tab though, per his request, and he intends on paying me back every red cent once he is here. He wanted to start now but I told him that would be ridiculous since for him to make $100 usd over there would be 5.5 times as hard *at least* over there.

I don't view it as buying a husband either. It's just the circumstances that we are in. If I had met him in the US I wouldn't give him a dime.

[ya falaha! 0]

I paid for both my plane tickets to Egypt (I visited twice) but was repaid for them once my husband came here. He also paid for his own ticket here. I've never sent him money or helped pay for any immigration expenses. I can understand your point but it is very difficult, as you know, for an Egyptian to pay for plane tickets from the US. Considering that most Egyptians only make 1000LE (about $175 US) or less a month, it would take quite awhile to save up the money for something as expensive as a plane ticket.

Edited June 27, 2007 by moody

[sereia 0]

i don't give my fiance money but i certainly pay for my own plane ticket to go see him. and he will pay for his own plane ticket when he moves here. he already made arrangements for the money for that. and he plans to reimburse me for he tickets, like moody said, after he's here and working full time. i don't expect any of that now... he's been a fulltime student in university until today (today he graduates!!!)

yeah, why don't you talk to your husband? this post seems a little troll like to me...................or am i being paranoid? lol

Edited June 27, 2007 by abdounjen

[john_and_marlene 162]

If you married to him and want to truly be traditional, your money is also his and you wouldn't be keeping tally.

[SaadBell 0]

I went to Egypt in August and as time went on, he just stopped writing me, never calls me, says he is busy with his sick mother and uncle. This could all be true, once in a while he will leave me a message on my yahoo im. I last talked to my husband about a month ago for all of five minutes, and that was it. So I am just assuming he is not interested and soon he will just fade away. Do i feel angry, oh yea, I spent a ton of money and now i am sitting in debt and with a really bitter taste in my mouth. I feel like a fool, all my friends told me, dont' you pay your way, but I was in love and he said all the right things and I went to Egypt. His family and friends all were great and all, but now I get the feeling if you don't have the money, they are not interested. I am happy it works for all of you, but i am a social worker and don't make that kind of money, plus i am paying for my daughter to go to University of Florida which is not cheap. So yea, now i wonder if you want to marry one of these guys, you better have some cash. That is why i am asking, so any feedback would be great.

Heart broken

Why don't you talk to him?

I'll get flamed for this I'm sure but what the heck, it's been slow here lately. I will pay for his ticket and I do send him some $$$ to cover the visa expenses. If he were living at home and wasn't paying rent and supporting his two sisters then I would not do this, but because of the situation he is in, I don't mind. The exchange rate is like what, 1 usd to 5.5 egyptian pounds or something?

I am keeping a running tab though, per his request, and he intends on paying me back every red cent once he is here. He wanted to start now but I told him that would be ridiculous since for him to make $100 usd over there would be 5.5 times as hard *at least* over there.

I don't view it as buying a husband either. It's just the circumstances that we are in. If I had met him in the US I wouldn't give him a dime.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

does seem little strange not to talk.... i pay for my tickets, he pays for when there (mostly) the one time i did send for a prob his store was having he returned when i went to visit...and i dont send or he dont ask. If he had gotten the visa he was going to pay his own way, and he did pay for all the visa application expenses from his end...

[Dwarf_Ogress 0]

My first trip Marlon paid half the ticket and the second time around I got a buddy pass from a friend and I paid.

[Michaela_Hassan 1]

Just a quick question for all the American women, did you pay for your plane ticket over to see your love, or did he pay for you? I understand they are from poor countries, but I am not that rich either, and not a sugar mama. Just really interested, because I have a husband in Egypt, whom I never talked to, but I paid for the plane ticket to see him and now i am paying all of this off working myself to an early grave. I guess I am a little old fashion and would like the man to take care of some of this, but maybe that is not the way things work. So please share with me who pays for what and did you feel kinda of mad if you have to pay all the bills, is it almost like buying a husband. That is how i feel now.

Sherry,

how is it that you never talked to your husband? I find that strange, I sure enough wouldn't be flipping the bill for someone I've never talked to. As for my husband, of course I paid for the plane tickets there and the visa cost. Unless they're from a rich family, they won't be able to buy the ticket and it can't really be expected. My husbands salary was like 10 dollars a week. Now that he is here, he's working and providing, what more can I ask. I never saw myself as a sugar mama, just doing what was necessary for us to be together. If this was buying a husband, I bought myself a nice one!

Michaela

[sereia 0]

i'd divorce him. now. (if you haven't already) sorry it worked out badly for you.

[SaadBell 0]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

i'd divorce him. now. (if you haven't already) sorry it worked out badly for you.

[allousa 1]

I find the not talking strange too. Sounds like you need to bail.

My husband and I have a set time that we talk every weekend on Skype because it doesn't cost. We only call on the cell when it's an emergency or have REALLY excited news that can't wait.

I've paid for the tickets a couple of times and have gotten tickets from a relative that has a gazillion frequent flier points. We split the cost of the fees for his case though. I pay for the fees here and he pays for the fees there and we split the cost for the attorney. But when I go over and stay with him and his family, they don't let me pay for anything. They even buy the gifts that I want to take back to my friends and family.

[hollyw 0]

we tend to split everything since we're both (pretty much) in the same financial situation right now. When I was going back and forth to visit my husband in Paris for awhile, I would buy my plane ticket (which, at student prices, was dirt cheap) and he would pay for meals and things while I was there. it was pretty even. i paid for his plane ticket here and he paid all of the visa costs.

but if you're going to keep calling him your husband, you might try to keep in better contact with him...

[doodlebug 3]

I went to Egypt in August and as time went on, he just stopped writing me, never calls me, says he is busy with his sick mother and uncle. This could all be true, once in a while he will leave me a message on my yahoo im. I last talked to my husband about a month ago for all of five minutes, and that was it. So I am just assuming he is not interested and soon he will just fade away. Do i feel angry, oh yea, I spent a ton of money and now i am sitting in debt and with a really bitter taste in my mouth. I feel like a fool, all my friends told me, dont' you pay your way, but I was in love and he said all the right things and I went to Egypt. His family and friends all were great and all, but now I get the feeling if you don't have the money, they are not interested. I am happy it works for all of you, but i am a social worker and don't make that kind of money, plus i am paying for my daughter to go to University of Florida which is not cheap. So yea, now i wonder if you want to marry one of these guys, you better have some cash. That is why i am asking, so any feedback would be great.

Heart broken

Oh wow that is awful!!! Had you already started the visa process too? I don't blame you for being bitter!! I would definitely demand a divorce. What kind of marraige is that??? Busy with a sick relative or not, it does not take much effort whatsoever to get on a computer and at least drop a note or two each day. Trust me, my husband has had his share of responsibilities since we met....his father died during Ramadan leaving him the sole provider of his sisters, the gov't is telling him they will knock down the building they were in so he had to move them to a new place temporarily and now every day they are waiting to see where they will be moved to since the gov't controls their rent, etc. etc. etc. I could go on and on but through all that we normally talk three to four times/day whether it by via phonecall or text or internet. If I heard from him 5 min/ month that would be the end of that and I'd just give up on men and become a cat lady since this whole visa process has sucked the ever livin life outta me!!!!!

[sereia 0]

I guess I am still in shock, how can everyone else have these wonderful experiences and I have a nightmere. I am now broke with credit card bills from my trip to Egypt. I may I have to get another job, so that way I will work two jobs to pay off this mess. I always heard that arab men love to take care of women, he was a police officer in Egypt and stepped down, cause he was a captain and could not apply for visa and be married to american while on the police force. All I know is that now i don't trust no man, I can't tell you how i feel, it is like i am a joke to my family and friends, they all ask what happened to him. I am embaressed and heartbroken and now poor as hell. So no I am not a troll, I am a real person who feels like I have been robbed and raped. I hate feeling this way and I am afriad I will be come really bitter now, oh well wonder what today will bring. Sorry about ranting I am just really devasted here. I really not sure if i would ever do that again, pay for a man.

thats really a terrible situation. but unfortunately, you are not the only one who's had this kind of experience. some don't even talk about it...but believe me, there are plenty of women who go through bad situations with their foreign spouse (and men too!) i know it must be hard to walk away from someone you invested so much time (and money) but i think its for the best. find a man here who will cherish you and not take advantage of your kindness. good luck!