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What a bunch of hoops to be with someone you love..

Okay I'll try to give as much information as possible and hopefully in a structured format.

Me: 31 year old guy living and working in the Netherlands (IT). Divorced a few years ago, no kids, nothing special (medical, criminal, etc).

She: 31 year old from the USA. Currently finalizing a divorce (domestic violence, but trying uncontested divorce to minimize impact on kids). Has 3 kids (2, 8, 10) of which at least one has special needs. Has some medical complications. She's currently searching for a house safely away from her 'ex', and looking for work there as her contract ends on January 1st.

She's been in a way of separation for years, but nothing official. Has had a protective order against him for a year somewhere along the way. Some more details in that whole thing, but I doubt its useful for this case.

We met online end of spring this year. First time, and our 'official' date is in July this year. I have visited two more times after, visiting for longer periods. Since the divorce is finally going through we are looking at our path to our future. At first the Netherlands was on the table, but given that he would still want to see his kids, we are opting for the USA to minimize the general impact on the kids. Originally I wanted to go for H1B, but with recent changes that looks less likely. So from what we have read we see two options.

1. CR1 - Either a marriage abroad or the Utah-online marriage.

2. K1 - Coming over with the intend to marry.

From what I saw about the current times, they both are freaking long, which already causes some issues.

The thing we are planning right now:

She moves away from him safely, currently looking at Charleston (SC) as she has family there. Which is expensive. Hopefully she has found someone willing to work with her (as her credit due to the relation is bad and on paper it doesn't look good) but sadly we aren't in the clear yet. Then she's also applying for jobs there, some interviews and some follow up interviews, nothing guaranteed yet.

Given she could get the place she has been talking to our situation would be that I support her financially. I can crash on someone's couch, yes I know it might become a long one, and support plenty for at least the rent. She will get some more things in place and there should be child support. Things by our calculations should be fine, with money to put aside for emergencies, visa filings, my visits, etc.. But the situation is far from ideal. Either day care is going to take a big chunk of the money she makes, or she'd have to work less or find a work-from-home job due to the kids age and time they would be at home.

Ideally I would move to the states, be there for household and working from the states paying taxes there instead of in the Netherlands.

Our question is, would the CR1 be better or do you think the K1 would be faster. It's difficult to get accurate time frames on both of them. With that we could see what would be more feasible (me not being able to work, but she working more and me being allowed in the USA for helping in the household so no day care is needed vs me working longer from the Netherlands but spending more money on daycare etc.) so we can make the right decision.

Also looking for recommendations when it comes to visits during both their waiting times. I have my ESTA which should be fine for visiting friends and family. I would still work in the Netherlands so need to go back, also for my dentist appointments etc. But does that just mean only short visits? Any visits as long as you can proof you have a return ticket and for example these appointments planned? How does that work.

I wish things were easier. But us battling through all of this does make me look positively at anything being thrown at us later down the road.

My brother and his wife have agreed to sign for my husband and step-daughter as joint sponsor and household member of joint sponsor.

We are currently filling out the required I864 and I864a for the RFE.

My husband received his NOA for the I-485 AOS and his NOA for the I765 EAD in one page each, with his original A# that was issued to him from the beginning in France, and a USCIS Online Account Number.

This same A# is listed on his biometrics document.

In contrast, my step daughter received the same, but she received 2 pages for the NOA I485.

One of them has instructions for the online account set up and the other is more of a receipt of funds paid.

Both of the pages for the I485 NOA have the same IOE number, but the receipt form and the EAD have the original A# she received in France.

The instruction page for account access has a different A#, and this second new A# is on her biometrics document as well!

I'm not sure why she has two different A#'s on documents received at the same time, especially when two pages are of the same NOA with two different A#s on them.

Can anyone tell me: Which A # do I use for her when filling out the joint sponsor forms for the RFE?

Do I use the original one that we filed with that's on one of the two I485 forms (the recepit page NOA form I797C) and the EAD form?

Or do I use the new A# that is on the second I485 form (with the online instructions I797C) and on the biometrics form as well.

The RFE she received has the new A#.

I would think to use the new A#, since it's on the RFE. We are planning to upload the documents for the RFE electronically once we have everything ready to go.

I'm just confused as to why 1. there is a new A number and 2. Why isn't the new number on the EAD as well?

Has anyone else experienced this with K2 Visa holders at this point in the process?

For reference: we sent in both the I484, I 864, and I765 for both of them in the same package all together (with tabs to keep the two applicants separate.)

Also, there's no A number listed on her USCIS online account home page, but the RFE document linked has the new number.

Also, concerning EAD timelines, does anyone know if the ETA for decision will shorten once the joint sponsor docs are accepted into the file? It's currently listed as 7 months.

Lastly, I did this back in the middle of Nursing school crunch time and everything feels a bit overwhelming atm.

So forgive me, but I'm just asking for a refreshing reminder... If memory serves correctly,

Do I fill these forms out once for my husband and then just make a copy for my step-daughters file?

I can't remember but I think that's what I did because I she is listed under him on the I864.

TIA!

Wondering if someone here has moved to the U.S. and had kid(s) and then went back without spouse and kid(s)? or if you moved back without spouse but with the kid(s)?

How did you handle the cross-country child custody/visitation? Please share your experience and any advice.

I paid the immigration fee for my mother and even though I entered the A and case numbers as shown on the IR5 visa, the receipt received lists a different case number! Is that just a receipt number or do I have to call USCIS and correct whatever happened?

My mother hasn't travelled to the US yet, but since the consulate interview, I changed my address which is where she will be staying and hopefully receiving the green card.

How can I make sure that the address the card will be mailed to is the correct one and not the old on that was on DS 260?

Thanks.