Am I Overreacting??

[*Robert* 2]

I have to agree. I've given up other bad habits before. If it was a deal breaker, I'd stop.

[Ladylethal 12]

I wouldn´t make a deal breaker. A deal breaker for me would be if he became lazy sitting on his butt all day not doing a thing to help or if he cheated on me. Cheating is THE deal breaker for me. Not even having kids or all the love in the world would stop me from walking out of the relationship.

Looking at porn or masturbating to porn? Leave him be.

[CanGal 1]

i should of brought this up in premarital counseling *laughs*

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ok..not even gonna get into whether I think looking at porn is right or wrong, NOR am I saying that CanGal was right for her so called 'snooping'.

That said, just for the sake of conversation:

What if she HAD been snooping?? What does that actually have to do with it? Just because she can't SEE it, but she knows he's doing it(AFTER he agreed not in previous discussions being the main thing here)does that make it any better for them relationship wise? Again, not saying he's wrong or whatever...just...well, that. M.

[jordanianprincess 0]

i should of brought this up in premarital counseling *laughs*

Man i really feel for you...I have been in your shoes. Tough spot.

[*Robert* 2]

cangal ... you should really do some reading up on men, women & porn.

men have been sexually gratifying themselves since they can remember ... as have women. unfortunately though for the men ... they don't have quite the active imagination that women do.

men mostly need to be spoon fed their fantasies ... a woman on the other hand can lie back in bed, close her eyes and be whisked away to another world.

you've asked him to stop before and he said he would ... but he can't & hasn't. you have to try and imagine how incredibly hard this is for him (no pun intended). masturbation is something that men have been doing daily and porn just happens to make it a bit more enjoyable for them now.

there is already a ton of guilt associated around masturbation & porn ... it's embarrassing for men to talk about it. have you ever discussed with your husband some of the fanatasies you've used while you masturbated? i know that you're young and i really think that this has a LOT to do with this as well.

my husband and i are nothing but honest and it is so rewarding in all aspects of our marriage.

Once again.... Very Well Said!!!

For the women who thinks a man should give up porn and masturbation just because he's married... Get a reality check... REALLY!!! I will masturbate till the day I die, and I was so glad to finally find a woman who also appreciated the benefits of masturbation and was in touch with her sexuality and body.

Thank goodnes we don't have a problem with porn!

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Ok..not even gonna get into whether I think looking at porn is right or wrong, NOR am I saying that CanGal was right for her so called 'snooping'.

That said, just for the sake of conversation:

What if she HAD been snooping?? What does that actually have to do with it? Just because she can't SEE it, but she knows he's doing it(AFTER he agreed not in previous discussions being the main thing here)does that make it any better for them relationship wise? Again, not saying he's wrong or whatever...just...well, that. M.

Trust issues. look.. I don't care if she snoops. But she is not being honest with herself, yet she expects him to be honest. It goes 2 ways.

[jordanianprincess 0]

That said, just for the sake of conversation:

What if she HAD been snooping?? What does that actually have to do with it?

This is wrong on soooooooooo many angles. If you actually get to a point in your relationship and you have to snoop there is something seriously wrong. A friend of mine gave me some really good advice one time.

"Don't go looking for stuff, because you will always find something"

Its true. You can argue the point of "why should there be anyting to find?" But you can turn nothing into something if you want.

Trust...trust...trust, everyone is entitled to some privacy. What if he saw the pics and didn't save them? Would that make it better? What if looked at pics and found a way to leave no trace on the pc. Is that better?

[CanGal 1]

ok i wasn't really talking about mastubation. i am just trying to come to you with my viewpoint. that is all. and the viewpoint that i thought we both shared. Do i think its wrong when we are walking down the street and he looks at a beautiful woman, no if it stops there. If it starts into more of what would it be like to be with her and plays it out in his head, ya that bothers me, why because i see that as adultery. alot of people think its not until the action actually takes place. I believe it's already done when it takes place in the mind which lead to the heart which eventually lead to actions. I am sorry, thats how i see and thats how he has told me he see's it. I believe that when Jesus said not only do not commit adultery but also when you look at another women with lust you've already committed adultery with her. It does a lot of things on a emotional level, a spiritual level, and if you have to imagine yourself with someone else and search engines to imagine being with someone else or looking at someone else then the one you have then why be with them really.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Ok..not even gonna get into whether I think looking at porn is right or wrong, NOR am I saying that CanGal was right for her so called 'snooping'.

That said, just for the sake of conversation:

What if she HAD been snooping?? What does that actually have to do with it? Just because she can't SEE it, but she knows he's doing it(AFTER he agreed not in previous discussions being the main thing here)does that make it any better for them relationship wise? Again, not saying he's wrong or whatever...just...well, that. M.

Trust issues. look.. I don't care if she snoops. But she is not being honest with herself, yet she expects him to be honest. It goes 2 ways.

You're absolutely right. If a relationship doesn't have trust, it doesn't have anything. Yet you yourself even said if it WAS an issue, you'd never do it again. For her, it's an issue. He DID say he would give it up. He didn't. Something is wrong with that as well is all I'm saying. Maybe she doesn't trust him and that's bad(but rightly so in this case I guess!) Neither party will get anywhere without honesty. M.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

When I was in the Navy there were 2 types of men...

1. ones that masterbated

2. liers

[Ladylethal 12]

If that´s how you feel, then it´s a deal breaker for you, and you should tell him that, but then you gotta stick to what you said and believe, or else he´ll loose his respect for you. If you threaten him with it and never take action.

[CanGal 1]

Well all i'm gonna go off on my own here and get some laundry done and clean up a little. Process all this. I will post and let you know how the convo goes. Thanks everyone for your imput

[gimygirl 0]

ok i wasn't really talking about mastubation. i am just trying to come to you with my viewpoint. that is all. and the viewpoint that i thought we both shared. Do i think its wrong when we are walking down the street and he looks at a beautiful woman, no if it stops there. If it starts into more of what would it be like to be with her and plays it out in his head, ya that bothers me, why because i see that as adultery. alot of people think its not until the action actually takes place. I believe it's already done when it takes place in the mind which lead to the heart which eventually lead to actions. I am sorry, thats how i see and thats how he has told me he see's it. I believe that when Jesus said not only do not commit adultery but also when you look at another women with lust you've already committed adultery with her. It does a lot of things on a emotional level, a spiritual level, and if you have to imagine yourself with someone else and search engines to imagine being with someone else or looking at someone else then the one you have then why be with them really.

sweetie .... do you know how many guys do that on a daily basis?!?!?!

anytime ANY man sees a cutie he IMMEDIATELY thinks what her breasts look like, what it would be like to sleep with her, what color panties is she wearing, does she swallow .... and these thoughts happen within mere seconds of each other and then they are out of his head until the next woman prances along!! am i wrong guys??

i know that you weren't talking about masturbation ... but i'm sure you know he's not reading the newspaper or clipping his nails while the porn slideshow is going on ...

i think you need to work through some of your own issues before you try to tackle this one as a couple. there are ways to reduce your insecurity and to make you feel better about yourself.

[jordanianprincess 0]

ok i wasn't really talking about mastubation. i am just trying to come to you with my viewpoint. that is all. and the viewpoint that i thought we both shared. Do i think its wrong when we are walking down the street and he looks at a beautiful woman, no if it stops there. If it starts into more of what would it be like to be with her and plays it out in his head, ya that bothers me, why because i see that as adultery. alot of people think its not until the action actually takes place. I believe it's already done when it takes place in the mind which lead to the heart which eventually lead to actions. I am sorry, thats how i see and thats how he has told me he see's it. I believe that when Jesus said not only do not commit adultery but also when you look at another women with lust you've already committed adultery with her. It does a lot of things on a emotional level, a spiritual level, and if you have to imagine yourself with someone else and search engines to imagine being with someone else or looking at someone else then the one you have then why be with them really.

sweetie .... do you know how many guys do that on a daily basis?!?!?!

anytime ANY man sees a cutie he IMMEDIATELY thinks what her breasts look like, what it would be like to sleep with her, what color panties is she wearing, does she swallow .... and these thoughts happen within mere seconds of each other and then they are out of his head until the next woman prances along!! am i wrong guys??

i know that you weren't talking about masturbation ... but i'm sure you know he's not reading the newspaper or clipping his nails while the porn slideshow is going on ...

i think you need to work through some of your own issues before you try to tackle this one as a couple. there are ways to reduce your insecurity and to make you feel better about yourself.

Oh my...that was graphic

When I was in the Navy there were 2 types of men...

1. ones that masterbated

2. liers

LMAO