Am I Overreacting??

[jordanianprincess 0]

But hey what do I know? I'm a man and of course as a result I have no worthy opinion(s).

Glad we're all in agreement now!

On the contrary, I think having the opinion of the opposite sex is helpful and can also help put things in perspective.

by calling it a trivial matter, he doesn't get that this has less to do with the bikini gals than the going back on a promise.

And to clarify, I don't think all men have unworthy opinions, but if they aren't going to see what she is clearly stating...and just brush real emotions to the side as silly or whatever, well...*shrug*....I don't find much credence in the opinions....and besides he set himself up...LOL.

Did I miss something here? I never said it was trivial. Whether its right or wrong is a matter of opinion. My main point is I don't think he will stop, as someone mentioned its an addiction. Is it any better if he waits until she is not home and does it then? If she has to police everything he does and check which websites he is going to, then will she ever be happy?

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

the issue is that he did tell me he would stop and is doing it behind my back

would you concede a single day for him to look at them? or is this a 100% done deal on your end?

Lemme ask you this....your wife spends money out of control and you ask her to give it a rest, she agrees and you find out she's hitting the mall on a daily basis and stashing the Gucci shoes and Fendi purses under the bed....you are

• annoyed that she broke a promise
  
• don't care because all women are just hard-wired to shop anyway
  
• ignore the incident and let it fester, knowing she's spending more and more money
  

I understand where you are coming from. If my wife was continuing to destroy the marriage (through shopping or porn) I would try to get her help but would have to leave her if nothing worked and I was completely unhappy. I wouldn't obsess with try to change her.

But remember we are only hearing one side of the story.

He's looking at girls in bikinis.. it could be worse. It could be child porn or gay sex. Just from the way the OP is posting here I think she is obsessing. That's just my opinion.

P.S. I'm glad my wife likes porn.

[*Robert* 2]

[...]the bigger issue is that we've talked about it many times before and he knows it bothers me yet he still makes a decision in going on with the behaviour behind my back.

If that is the primary issue, then that is what needs to be discussed. Now the question is, if he agrees to not agree to something he is unwilling to do, or agrees not to go behind your back, will you allow him to look at his girly pictures?

[Sister Fracas 5]

But hey what do I know? I'm a man and of course as a result I have no worthy opinion(s).

Glad we're all in agreement now!

On the contrary, I think having the opinion of the opposite sex is helpful and can also help put things in perspective.

by calling it a trivial matter, he doesn't get that this has less to do with the bikini gals than the going back on a promise.

And to clarify, I don't think all men have unworthy opinions, but if they aren't going to see what she is clearly stating...and just brush real emotions to the side as silly or whatever, well...*shrug*....I don't find much credence in the opinions....and besides he set himself up...LOL.

Did I miss something here? I never said it was trivial. Whether its right or wrong is a matter of opinion. My main point is I don't think he will stop, as someone mentioned its an addiction. Is it any better if he waits until she is not home and does it then? If she has to police everything he does and check which websites he is going to, then will she ever be happy?

Kaydee called it trivial.

[CanGal 1]

thats this whole thing, its about respect. there is no respect, i feel disrespected. while i sit in the next room he is in here glaring at every other kind of women imaginable . ... who would feel comfortable with that

[Traviesa 0]

thats this whole thing, its about respect. there is no respect, i feel disrespected. while i sit in the next room he is in here glaring at every other kind of women imaginable . ... who would feel comfortable with that

I don't know of a lot of people who would...but like we've been telling you, you're going to have to tell him this is a relationship deal breaker. If he doesn't know how serious it is, he won't stop. That's all there is to it.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

But hey what do I know? I'm a man and of course as a result I have no worthy opinion(s).

Glad we're all in agreement now!

On the contrary, I think having the opinion of the opposite sex is helpful and can also help put things in perspective.

by calling it a trivial matter, he doesn't get that this has less to do with the bikini gals than the going back on a promise.

And to clarify, I don't think all men have unworthy opinions, but if they aren't going to see what she is clearly stating...and just brush real emotions to the side as silly or whatever, well...*shrug*....I don't find much credence in the opinions....and besides he set himself up...LOL.

Did I miss something here? I never said it was trivial. Whether its right or wrong is a matter of opinion. My main point is I don't think he will stop, as someone mentioned its an addiction. Is it any better if he waits until she is not home and does it then? If she has to police everything he does and check which websites he is going to, then will she ever be happy?

Men looking at girls in bikinis is an addiction? Let's not blow this out of proportion.... I'm off to the crack-house er I mean 'the beach'.

[Sister Fracas 5]

the issue is that he did tell me he would stop and is doing it behind my back

would you concede a single day for him to look at them? or is this a 100% done deal on your end?

Lemme ask you this....your wife spends money out of control and you ask her to give it a rest, she agrees and you find out she's hitting the mall on a daily basis and stashing the Gucci shoes and Fendi purses under the bed....you are

• annoyed that she broke a promise
  
• don't care because all women are just hard-wired to shop anyway
  
• ignore the incident and let it fester, knowing she's spending more and more money
  

I understand where you are coming from. If my wife was continuing to destroy the marriage (through shopping or porn) I would try to get her help but would have to leave her if nothing worked and I was completely unhappy. I wouldn't obsess with try to change her.

But remember we are only hearing one side of the story.

And maybe that's what this is all about for CanGal...nipping something in the bud, or getting everything ALLLL out in the open...where it needs to be.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

thats this whole thing, its about respect. there is no respect, i feel disrespected. while i sit in the next room he is in here glaring at every other kind of women imaginable . ... who would feel comfortable with that

I don't know of a lot of people who would...but like we've been telling you, you're going to have to tell him this is a relationship deal breaker. If he doesn't know how serious it is, he won't stop. That's all there is to it.

I agree.. this issue is a deal breaker. No matter what everyone thinks of bikinis. You either live with him looking at girls or break up. simple.

[jordanianprincess 0]

But hey what do I know? I'm a man and of course as a result I have no worthy opinion(s).

Glad we're all in agreement now!

On the contrary, I think having the opinion of the opposite sex is helpful and can also help put things in perspective.

by calling it a trivial matter, he doesn't get that this has less to do with the bikini gals than the going back on a promise.

And to clarify, I don't think all men have unworthy opinions, but if they aren't going to see what she is clearly stating...and just brush real emotions to the side as silly or whatever, well...*shrug*....I don't find much credence in the opinions....and besides he set himself up...LOL.

Did I miss something here? I never said it was trivial. Whether its right or wrong is a matter of opinion. My main point is I don't think he will stop, as someone mentioned its an addiction. Is it any better if he waits until she is not home and does it then? If she has to police everything he does and check which websites he is going to, then will she ever be happy?

Men looking at girls in bikinis is an addiction? Let's not blow this out of proportion.... I'm off to the crack-house er I mean 'the beach'.

I think porn in general can be addictive for some men..I don't have an issue with my fiance looking at women online nor do I care to spend my time policing what he does.

[CanGal 1]

i don't want to sound like i'm obsessing. i'm not even really angry about all this, just hurt. Trying to find strength for myself in just talking about it again with him. You all are here to talk to so i'm talking about it with you all.

[jordanianprincess 0]

i don't want to sound like i'm obsessing. i'm not even really angry about all this, just hurt. Trying to find strength for myself in just talking about it again with him. You all are here to talk to so i'm talking about it with you all.

I don't think you are obsessing at all, that is what this forum is for Do I think you should talk to him? YES. Do i think he will change? NO, especially since he has already broken the promise before.

I don't want to discourage you at all, but the reality of it is he most likely will not change.

[CanGal 1]

it's not about the bikinis, thats the surface issue

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

it's not about the bikinis, thats the surface issue

Ahhh there's more. do tell.

[CanGal 1]

and they weren't like victoria secret model bikini pics , it was 98% bikini's half off pics, like might as well not even have them on pics. Its the issue that he's going behind my back which tells me i can't trust him for his word. he tells me one thing but does another