Patience with your S/O

[sarah and hicham 3]

This isn't exactly what you all are talking about but it has to do with the stares and cat calls in Morocco.

I absoutely cannot stand it. As much as I try so hard to let it not bother me, it does. When I am walking with Hicham and there is another man walking towards us and I happen to notice that he is staring at me and is not about to stop, even if he runs into something... I can't help but glare. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it and it makes me feel better to make faces at people when to me they are being rude. (even though I know it's just a cultural thing, however I wish it wasn't)

Anways I was over there in March and Hicham went to see his Dad one day so I decided to stay in Casablanca, get some tea, go to a cybercafe, and also go to the American Consulate which meant taking a taxi... ALONE. dun dun dun. So I get a taxi and it's a younger man with another guy who I guess was his friend. He asked me if I was staying in a hotel, if I liked it etc. etc. Then he says that he works at the Hyatt in Casablanca and to take his number so next time I can get a room at half off. I said that's very nice of you and he gave me his number, then proceeded to tell me to make sure to call him because he would love to "share a room" with me next time I come. Then he started speaking in Arabic to his friend and they were laughing. I was a little stunned and disgusted. At that point, my fluency in French dissapeared and I went into my "I don't understand anything you are saying" mode. Finally we got to the Consulate, and he didn't make me pay for the taxi.

I told Hicham and he was a little upset, and the first thing he did was take the phone number and flush it down the toilet. When men stare at me I always bring it to his attention and he says well what do you want me to do about it, as long as they don't touch you I can't do anything.

That's one major drawback for me going to Morocco, I hate the staring. Usually I just grab Hicham's hand if someone is really having a problem. I know you Morocco ladies know what I'm talkin' about. I hope.

Oops, this turned out a little long and also has nothing to do with anything. Enjoy!

Sarah

[morocco4ever 63]

Okay, since we are going off topic, I have a question for you ladies.

When I was there I noticed that the women there gave me evil looks. Now I am not talking all of them. A lot of them looked at me more out of curiosity. But what I am saying is the younger girls, say around their 20's. I have to admit, I am totally amused because it is so obvious they feel that I have invaded their territory. I met a girl that was there from the UK, she had the same thing. My husband never noticed this on my first visit but he saw it the second visit. We both laughed so hard.

I have asked my husband why he didn't find a wife there. He told me that there is a large amount of moroccan women that are looking for the men with money. They don't care about love, just the money. He was hoping to find love. I guess when you live in a third world country then your priorities might change.

I am really curious about this one...anyone else have this?

[jordanianprincess 0]

This is all too common. For me it started on the plane. When I got on the plane to go to Jordan, no make-up, ponytail, sweats. Right before we landed, I went to the bathroom, put on my make-up, fixed my hair, and put on a really nice dress and heels. It was the first time I was gonna see my habibi in person, so i wanted to look my best.

The moment I walked out of the bathroom, all the men started staring at me like they have never seen a woman in their life. The guy sitting in front of me kept turning around to look at me every 2 minutes. I was not worried because I was sitting next to my dad. When I got off the plane, there were lots of women staring at me. Maybe they thought I could not understand arabic, but they were pointing at me and talking and none of it was good. I ignored it.

Same thing when we went out. Guys would look, girls would look. I got used to it, my fiance on the other did not. He stared down every man that looked at me. At one point we were in aqaba and I was wearing some of my 'western" style clothing and I was walking around totally clueless looking in the shop windows and he was walking behind me. Some young guy was walking towards me and looking at my chest. My fiance punched him and yelled at him. I had no clue this had happened, my mom saw it and she told me later.

I do feel flattered that he is so protective over me.

Sara - as to your man not being able to do anything about it. That's debatable. I don't know much about Morocco, but in Jordan its absoulutly unacceptable for a man to look at a woman that is with another man and all men know that. They do it anyway but that can have some serious consequeces. Also, the best thing to do with men like that taxi driver, is to avoid them. My fiance would never let me go anywhere alone in Jordan, so I'm not sure why yours did but thats another topic. I think your man got upset because you accepted the phone number, never accept anything from another man. Big.big.trouble.

Morocco4ever - there is some truth to what your man is saying. There are alot of money hungry girls in the Middle East. The want the man to provide. The want the big fancy wedding. If they are muslim, some want a big dowry. Unless you are born into money, with the salaries people make their most men can't afford this. Some women get married or engaged as a way to get out of the home...not all, but some. There is no dating allowed, so they don't really know their mates.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I agree... the only reason I took his business card was just to not say no and have him insist and insist and argue about it so I took it and stuffed it into my backpack. Normally I would never go out alone, but Hicham had to help his Dad with something and I didn't want to sit in the hotel for hours and I needed to go to the Consulate anyways and I was feeling adventurous. I'm pretty sure that was the end of me going out alone.

Sometimes I think Hicham is scared that he might get into a fight with someone who stares at me if he acts out on it. He just tells me to ignore it and he ignores it too. I don't really want him to act out on it, or to make a scene because that could be bad. I just wish it didn't bother me quite so much.

Tootles.

Sarah

[jordanianprincess 0]

I agree... the only reason I took his business card was just to not say no and have him insist and insist and argue about it so I took it and stuffed it into my backpack. Normally I would never go out alone, but Hicham had to help his Dad with something and I didn't want to sit in the hotel for hours and I needed to go to the Consulate anyways and I was feeling adventurous. I'm pretty sure that was the end of me going out alone.

Sometimes I think Hicham is scared that he might get into a fight with someone who stares at me if he acts out on it. He just tells me to ignore it and he ignores it too. I don't really want him to act out on it, or to make a scene because that could be bad. I just wish it didn't bother me quite so much.

Tootles.

Sarah

I guess the difference is my fiance looks forward into getting in fights. He is 6'3" and well built. He is not intimidated by anyone. I have to admit I am a bit envious that your man avoids it. Whenever I went out with my fiance I would worry he was gonna fight with someone. This is also a concern I have for when he comes to the US. He has such a good heart though, he only wants to protect me and will go to any means to do it.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Wow, I am glad to see I'm not alone on this. My husband would be thrilled if I wore the Hijab and Djalaba. I did notice the looks I would get there, and at first he didn't notice. I thought to myelf...Hell no, I'm not going to bring it up, but he finally noticed. OMG he was mad. But after so many stares we just started to laugh about it.

Okay girls, now I am curious what your SO's say about swimsuits. Well I told my husband that I have a nice modest swimsuit. Two piece, but it is a tank top and boy shorts. I showed him and the webcam and he said "no way". lol Then he sent me a link of "appropriate" swimsuits....check it out...

http://www.pamspaulding.com/graphics/1islamicswimsuit.jpg

This will be interesting to say the least.

I have many more stories, but at the moment this one just seems the funniest.

I wasn't going to comment on this post until I got to this one....

I like this swimsuit and plan on buying one like it sometime before (or shortly after) the pool opens at my apartment complex. Maybe you don't like it but for those of us who observe the Islamic dress code on a daily basis in public, this type of swimsuit is perfect! If you ladies like to wear bikinis or whatever else in public that is your business but please don't make fun of the ones who are trying to be modest. Thanks

[jordanianprincess 0]

Wow, I am glad to see I'm not alone on this. My husband would be thrilled if I wore the Hijab and Djalaba. I did notice the looks I would get there, and at first he didn't notice. I thought to myelf...Hell no, I'm not going to bring it up, but he finally noticed. OMG he was mad. But after so many stares we just started to laugh about it.

Okay girls, now I am curious what your SO's say about swimsuits. Well I told my husband that I have a nice modest swimsuit. Two piece, but it is a tank top and boy shorts. I showed him and the webcam and he said "no way". lol Then he sent me a link of "appropriate" swimsuits....check it out...

http://www.pamspaulding.com/graphics/1islamicswimsuit.jpg

This will be interesting to say the least.

I have many more stories, but at the moment this one just seems the funniest.

I wasn't going to comment on this post until I got to this one....

I like this swimsuit and plan on buying one like it sometime before (or shortly after) the pool opens at my apartment complex. Maybe you don't like it but for those of us who observe the Islamic dress code on a daily basis in public, this type of swimsuit is perfect! If you ladies like to wear bikinis or whatever else in public that is your business but please don't make fun of the ones who are trying to be modest. Thanks

Not making fun at all...to each his own and I respect your reasons and anyone else who can wear this. I simply can't handle the heat. If you like it...then

[sarah and hicham 3]

Haha maybe because Hicham is only about 5'10 he doesn't like his chances if he gets into a fight. I would probably have to help him out. Don't tell him I told you that.

Take care!

Sarah

[jordanianprincess 0]

Haha maybe because Hicham is only about 5'10 he doesn't like his chances if he gets into a fight. I would probably have to help him out. Don't tell him I told you that.

Take care!

Sarah

mums the word!

[Together4ever 1]

Okay, since we are going off topic, I have a question for you ladies.

When I was there I noticed that the women there gave me evil looks. Now I am not talking all of them. A lot of them looked at me more out of curiosity. But what I am saying is the younger girls, say around their 20's. I have to admit, I am totally amused because it is so obvious they feel that I have invaded their territory. I met a girl that was there from the UK, she had the same thing. My husband never noticed this on my first visit but he saw it the second visit. We both laughed so hard.

I have asked my husband why he didn't find a wife there. He told me that there is a large amount of moroccan women that are looking for the men with money. They don't care about love, just the money. He was hoping to find love. I guess when you live in a third world country then your priorities might change.

I am really curious about this one...anyone else have this?

Yes, I experienced this in Egypt. First, culturally, marriage is historically/culturally more of a financial arrangement/family arrangement then it is just for the sake love. I'm not saying love marriage doesnt happen there, it does. My sister-in-law is the example of that. But the vast majority do not. The man is expected to provide his new wife with a furnished flat, gold, and various other things or she won't marry him. This is cultural. Now this may differ slightly in Morocco, I don't know. I'm not knocking it, just stating the way its. This makes marriage and a future difficult for a young man who is not able to land a well-paying job, and ladies you know well, that's not easy there. The women expect this as their right.

Secondly, the internet has opened new doors. The guys are experiencing more first hand western culture and ideals. Yes there are con men out there who take advantage of the situation to find a way OUT, but also honest loving relationships that occur, as we can all testify. The latter has recently become an issue for the religious/political leaders in my husband's city. They have declared the internet to be harram for their community because it is bringing foreign women into their society and is "making their men dumb" (hey, I'm not the one who said it!). Internet is banned after midnight which means my habebe gets on a bus every night and goes to the next city to meet me online.

Oh yes I got the venemous stares and even cutting remarks from the girls. Mohammed would scold and sometimes spit at their feet, sometimes he would just laugh in their faces. I just remained in my space and to me they didn't exist. In Egypt, the number of women far out numbers the men and this trend is increasing. They don't like losing their men to outsiders. And generally, "Americano" women are seen as loose.

Stares from the men, ugh. Yes. Unfortunately, women from the west are considered potential sugar mommas or possible easy lovers by most. Some can be quite brazen about it. I had a young Egyptian man in the Paris airport follow me around until it was just ridiculous. Finally he stopped me, asked me way too many questions, gave me his number, asked where I would be staying, could he show me around Cairo, blah blah blah... "Oh but don't tell my friends." Uh huh. I told him I wasn't interested, I was meeting my fiancee, and it didn't even slow him down. I threw his number away immediately.

This is all too common. For me it started on the plane. When I got on the plane to go to Jordan, no make-up, ponytail, sweats. Right before we landed, I went to the bathroom, put on my make-up, fixed my hair, and put on a really nice dress and heels. It was the first time I was gonna see my habibi in person, so i wanted to look my best.

The moment I walked out of the bathroom, all the men started staring at me like they have never seen a woman in their life. The guy sitting in front of me kept turning around to look at me every 2 minutes. I was not worried because I was sitting next to my dad. When I got off the plane, there were lots of women staring at me. Maybe they thought I could not understand arabic, but they were pointing at me and talking and none of it was good. I ignored it.

Same thing when we went out. Guys would look, girls would look. I got used to it, my fiance on the other did not. He stared down every man that looked at me. At one point we were in aqaba and I was wearing some of my 'western" style clothing and I was walking around totally clueless looking in the shop windows and he was walking behind me. Some young guy was walking towards me and looking at my chest. My fiance punched him and yelled at him. I had no clue this had happened, my mom saw it and she told me later.

I do feel flattered that he is so protective over me.

Sara - as to your man not being able to do anything about it. That's debatable. I don't know much about Morocco, but in Jordan its absoulutly unacceptable for a man to look at a woman that is with another man and all men know that. They do it anyway but that can have some serious consequeces. Also, the best thing to do with men like that taxi driver, is to avoid them. My fiance would never let me go anywhere alone in Jordan, so I'm not sure why yours did but thats another topic. I think your man got upset because you accepted the phone number, never accept anything from another man. Big.big.trouble.

Morocco4ever - there is some truth to what your man is saying. There are alot of money hungry girls in the Middle East. The want the man to provide. The want the big fancy wedding. If they are muslim, some want a big dowry. Unless you are born into money, with the salaries people make their most men can't afford this. Some women get married or engaged as a way to get out of the home...not all, but some. There is no dating allowed, so they don't really know their mates.

Ah, yes I wanted to say something about that. Sometimes we "western women" feel our men are trying to control us by not letting us travel around there alone, but is more of a safety issue. There are opportunists and predators lurking around. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but there are guys like that taxi driver and there are also those who aren't quite so mannered about their intentions that just plain don't like westerners. I always listened to Mohammed's warnings and wishes. I never went anywhere without him. We had enough troubles as a couple. I didn't even want to risk what could happen if I was alone. (Most of the people in our neighborhood were Iraqi.)

[honeyblonde 0]

Girls, you may find the stares and whistles annoying, but you should realize that when they stop, you will miss them. I know I did. When I was younger I was like you and got angry about them, but now on the rare occassion I get one, I am happy all day. Sometimes it's nice to know you "still have it"

I have the opposite problem with Abdel here. Yesterday he told me at dinner that a girl in his English class gave him her number and address. She is married and told him she cuts hair in her home. He told me I could have her number and address if I want it to go get my hair cut, but he doesn't plan to let her cut his hair. I told him I didn't care if she cut it if we were there together, but if he went alone he should expect to be in big trouble.

It did feel nice to actually have some guy tell Abdel last night that he was lucky to have such a beautiful wife. When your man is in perfect shape it is easy to get insecure when other women hit on him. I know it sure motivates me to lose weight!

[jordanianprincess 0]

Girls, you may find the stares and whistles annoying, but you should realize that when they stop, you will miss them. I know I did. When I was younger I was like you and got angry about them, but now on the rare occassion I get one, I am happy all day. Sometimes it's nice to know you "still have it"

Sorry Honey...I'd have to disagree with that statement.

[AngelK96 0]

Sara - as to your man not being able to do anything about it. That's debatable. I don't know much about Morocco, but in Jordan its absoulutly unacceptable for a man to look at a woman that is with another man and all men know that. They do it anyway but that can have some serious consequeces. Also, the best thing to do with men like that taxi driver, is to avoid them. My fiance would never let me go anywhere alone in Jordan, so I'm not sure why yours did but thats another topic. I think your man got upset because you accepted the phone number, never accept anything from another man. Big.big.trouble.

.

Totally agreed about the Jordan habits, my husband would never tolerate a another man looking at his wife. So unacceptable and believe me there was a few times he about got into some fights. Yikes at times I was oblivious to it because I was busy looking in the store windows wondering what i can buy. Every night we would go out and walk and go to a cafe and drink coffee and talk, One night we were walking back to this house he rented for us and this guy in a van started driving very slowly towards us, I thought he was going to run over us anyways he was drunk. My husband made me go in the house and he went outside and i don't konw what happen, but I was scared because you know i didn't know what was going on. Anyways he ended up beating the guy up in the van and had him laying in the street knocked out and his friends came and got him. At first I was scared that happen, but then it made me mad cuz i was like what if something happen toyou? you didn't leave me the cell phone who would have i called..etc.. etc. He goes you are my wife I must protected you in all ways. He's the type to not run away but turn and confront. He always says the only thing i am scared of is my God.

anyways I married into a nice family there. modern ideas. his sister was engaged to her fiance over a year before they even married as with the older brother. His other brother wants to do the same be engaged to his fiancee before he marries. I guess they want to be sure about who they marry. I didn't see any jordanian women looking at me angry or anything, mostly curiousity when i would talk. If anything I was so jealous of them being thin and petite and being able to fit in anything they wanted. I'm 5'8 and wear a size 11-12 and i was like where's all the fat girl clothes because i wanted to buy clothes there because they were so cheap. anyways here's a questions where can i find palestinian dresses??? you know the kind that have the embroidery on it. I love wearing those around in the home after work. sooo comfy and plus my husband likes the way i look in them.

[honeyblonde 0]

Girls, you may find the stares and whistles annoying, but you should realize that when they stop, you will miss them. I know I did. When I was younger I was like you and got angry about them, but now on the rare occassion I get one, I am happy all day. Sometimes it's nice to know you "still have it"

Sorry Honey...I'd have to disagree with that statement.

That's cool. I hope you never get to the point where you wonder if you still have it. I know I can't wait to lose enough weight to feel better about myself again. I know you think it's bad that I'm down on myself because of it, but what else will motivate me to lose it as well? I need to get it off before I have a heart attack according to my doctor, so I'll accept whatever motivation I can get.

I do remember cussing at a Mexican construction worker once for whistling at me and then having to run because he was gonna chase me down and beat me up for calling him gay in Spanish in front of all his friends. I guess if I remember back far enough I can relate to what you guys are saying.

[Together4ever 1]

Girls, you may find the stares and whistles annoying, but you should realize that when they stop, you will miss them. I know I did. When I was younger I was like you and got angry about them, but now on the rare occassion I get one, I am happy all day. Sometimes it's nice to know you "still have it"

Sorry Honey...I'd have to disagree with that statement.

Me too. I "have it" for my husband. It's enough for me. The rest leaves me feeling dirty. BUT... hey the beauty of life is we all see things differently. So no problem.