Please help with advice!!!

[wmhurd 0]

Is he physically abusing her in any way?

[Sprailenes 47]

She can leave and go to a women's shelter as well and I am sure they could help her find a family lawyer that will be able to help her through this. She needs to take pictures of any bruises she gets from him.

Argh this really makes me angry that as soon as the word "marriage" begins some men and women begin to act all crazy. And it's even harder when the person being abused is from another country and is alone here.

[slim 1,525]

Another thing she can do is call the local women's shelter or actually go to the shelter. They'll set her up with who she needs to see to be on good legal grounds as far as immigration goes.

They'll also get her a safe place to stay.

As Sid and Nancy said, the green card should only be thought of after she's safe and away from this spouse that mistreats her. This is a pretty serious issue. Abusive spouses can get even more violent/abusive if they think the spouse is going to leave them. There are even cases where the abuser will say "if she won't be with me than she won't be with anyone" or "I'll make sure you'll never leave me" or things like that. Then they get very violent.

Safety should be her first concern. Ensure she gets help. Keep it confidential at first, and then if/when the $#!T hits the fan, ensure she goes to a safe place and seeks law enforcement's help. Get the authorities involved. A legal paper trail is the first step in setting up an AOS approval. It's also the first step in keeping her safe.

[mox 298]

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. This number is open 24 hours, 365 days a year. It is available in a number of different languages. They boast 140, so it's very likely that Russian is one of them.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline website is at http://www.ndvh.org/ .

Specific information for immigrants is at http://www.ndvh.org/help/imigrant.html .

Hope this helps.

Edited December 7, 2007 by mox

[slim 1,525]

She can also simply walk-in to the local ER. Hospitals have very good contacts with social services and will call law enforcement if needed.

Calling that DV hotline mox posted above would be a very good start.

[russ 1]

Sounds like a battered spouse case.

She can get divorced and get unconditional permanent residence, but she will likely need help from a lawyer and friends to get through this ordeal successfully.

He sounds like a real jerk, but I haven't heard anything about violence / battered spouse / etc (unless I missed something).

She can get a divorce without him - he will be served with notice, and if he doesn't contest it, the divorce will happen. If she files a "no fault" petition, he really can't do anything to stop it. If the petion is for cause, he can probably fight it and has a slim (very slim) chance of getting the case dismissed. (I'm not a lawyer, nor am I familiar with Geogia's civil courts).

As for the AOS, if she is about to apply to remove conditions, she should probably go ahead and do that. After she has it, no problem.

Otherwise, if she does file for divorce, she would apply to remove conditions by herself. Assuming she has evidence of marrying in good faith, and that there is no evidence otherwise, she should have no problem. (Though it may take some time, and eventually require a lawyer)

Convincing her husband to go to marriage counseling may be a good idea too, for several reasons: He is more likely to change his behavior, if he does want a divorce - it will support her AOS case, and in the short term it may improve the quality of life for her.

[mox 298]

He sounds like a real jerk, but I haven't heard anything about violence / battered spouse / etc (unless I missed something).

...and once she moved here he was an abuser.

She's been trying to ask for divorce and he said "no way"

Shes trying to save this marriage but he's a freaking animal and it's not happening.

...

Also, even the neighbors called police on him ( i have no idea why) I think she's got one of the prooves that he's an a$$ if he has a police report.

Now, can someone please advice what can she do and how can she get her GC without him?

I guess she doesn't come right out and say there's been actual physical violence, but the bold portions certainly caught my attention. Even if it hasn't come to physical abuse yet, it sounds like it's just around the corner.

Good advice though. Except for maybe the marriage counseling bit. If the guy's been bringing in mistresses while she's there, then he's scum of the earth and doesn't deserve a second chance. But then that's just me.

[russ 1]

I guess she doesn't come right out and say there's been actual physical violence, but the bold portions certainly caught my attention. Even if it hasn't come to physical abuse yet, it sounds like it's just around the corner.

Good advice though. Except for maybe the marriage counseling bit. If the guy's been bringing in mistresses while she's there, then he's scum of the earth and doesn't deserve a second chance. But then that's just me.

If there has been violence, it is very material information. It needs to be said. Scum of the earth, jerk, whatever, that is still not violence. We have only heard one side of this, third-hand. Let's not jump to conclusions.

I could not disagree with you more about marriage counseling. It will do several things. First, most marriage counselors will not see you if you are having an affair, so it solves that problem. (If he continues, the other option is divorce, which apparantly he doesn't want). It is also very powerful evidence of a bona-fide marriage. Without even touching the facts of the case, the fact that you are going is evidence that you wanted to be married. This helps and AOS if you are divorced. Most importantly, it may help solve the problems and make everyone happier. This actually does happen, believe it or not. It is far more effective if both parties actually care about fixing things.

[slim 1,525]

If the guy's been bringing in mistresses while she's there, then he's scum of the earth and doesn't deserve a second chance. But then that's just me.

If I were bringing home mistresses, especially while my wife was here, there'd be no need for marriage counselors. A coroner maybe, but no counselors. She has a big knife, and she's already "counseled" me on the repercussions of actions like bringing home (or not bringing home but simply keeping) mistresses.