used by his fiancee`

[Jengles 0]

If an immigrant comes to the US because of fraud and they are found out. Then they should be deported. Why should they be allowed to stay?? They are here because of a relationship not because they got an immigrant visa on their own.

I agree that unrealistic expections cause a lot of friction in a marriage, but that can be solved by constant communication and adjustments over time.

[Fandango 1,440]

A failed marriage doesn't mean anyone was scamming anyone. It just might mean that a relationship consisting of two vacations and online chatter didn't prepare people for the stress of moving to a new country and living life that wasn't all vacations and wooing.

Oh man, Ms. Caladan, you're gonna piss off a lot of folks with that one.

What? It's not casting aspersions. It doesn't mean they're bad people. It's just that it's hard to prepare for a cross-continent move and breaking out of the long distance mindset, where every moment you have together is cherished because it's someone's vacation. (It's a very artificial time; normally one isn't always buying you presents and going out for walks and dinners and movies and meeting family. Most of the time, it's doing dishes and laundry.) It's been hard for us, with me working and him until recently having nothing to do but watch daytime TV and housework. It's an adjustment. It was for us, as a couple with no cultural barriers, ample vacation time, eleven multi-week visits, &c. It's not unrealistic to think that maybe we're not unique, and there's a whole lot of posts in this section that seem to support that. There seem to be a lot of stories that start with 'Well, he/she wasn't who I thought he/she was...'

I believe people in primarily online, long distance relationships can find true love. I also think it's possible, when the person is not there, to be more in love with the idea of the person, or the person you see when one or both of you is in vacation mode, and then discover that your idol, as it were, has clay feet. I've seen it happen with American-American long distance couples, or people who had great online personas who just didn't mesh in person. The witty guy who makes you laugh may be tongue-tied in person; the girl who writes such hot cyber might have acne. I can't imagine that those relationships would have been successful if someone was also dealing with culture shock and the stress of immigration.

All I'm saying is that getting someone here, and finding out it doesn't work, doesn't mean anyone entered with fraudulent intentions.

Caladan, I agree fully with everything you've said here.

When I moved to the UK, I did so knowing it was temporary. And I also thought that because it was England, it'd be pretty comparable to the US...after all, they speak English But it wasn't, and the adjustment for me....even though I knew it was a temp move...was v hard and at times, v painful.]

'Getting real' with your partner does take quite a lot of the starry eyed wonder away, when it's (real) laundry time, the toilet is clogged, the foreign SO is alone while the other partner works to support them both. When going out on your own for the day is fraught with feeling overwhelmed at being such a fish outta water while you miss everything and everyone you know and love. It's hard! But oh so worth it!!!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

All I'm saying is that getting someone here, and finding out it doesn't work, doesn't mean anyone entered with fraudulent intentions.

But it also doesn't rule it out either. In fact, if an alien does enter the marriage with fraudulent intentions, the "marriage" will fail 100 times out of 100, well adjusted or otherwise!

[Alt name 1]

AH, Mystery i see you have met the "flock". <yawns> and <stretches> and <loads> and <prepares> to scatter pigeons to allow them to impress each other somewhere else

lemme think.....

One part of the advice given is true. Explain the situation, end the relationship, let the system take over, and move on. The system is set up to detect and prevent these things. Real married couples who actually live together and share household, etc have a hard time and a lot of evidential burden to prove ongoing real marriages, and it seems to be getting more difficult to meet this burden, especially in the lifting restrictions step. If a would-be scammer is really a scammer, and cannot meet the burden of proof for a true, bona fide intention to follow through with the commitment to marriage, (and attending / participating in the ceremony only isn't a bona fide commitment) then they are turned down in the next step of the process and given a deportation order. The withdrawal of participation of the USC in this multi-year process is not revenge, and the reporting of the factual events leading up to the dissolution of the marriage is not revenge either. From that, the beneficiary's case should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits and the petitioner should be free to move on with his or her life.

No intending immigrant has a "right" to be here. No "right" is granted just because someone may have been clever enough to use another person for a ticket here, even if it was to "pursue the american dream". There are legal ways to do that, including self-immigration, or work visa, or student visa, which do not involve using someone and hurting someone for their ticket. There is a high level of underlying trust in one another, on both sides, that is the basis of this process. We do this with the understanding and acceptance that the responsibilities of both the intending immigrant and the USC who petitions for them are clearly spelled out, the process that has to be followed is clearly spelled out, and there is a responsibility to both parties to follow through with the intentions that the intending immigration process is based on. The exceptions are spelled out. If the USC puts the intending immigrant into a situation other than a normal, ongoing marriage relationship (example abuse, etc) that falls under the definition of exception, then that immigrant may pursue other independent options through another category of the immigration process, and the USC is still responsible, and rightfully so, for that situation. Also spelled out.

Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do? As nice and comforting as this "ends justify the means" philosophy sounds on VJ, it is not the normal view of CIS short of compelling evidence that the USC failed to follow through with their commitment. I know of situations where this has happened, the next stage was denied, the appeal was denied, and the deportation order was issued. Nobody wins.

Regards,

David and Nitadyah

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

[rebeccajo 14]

AH, Mystery i see you have met the "flock". <yawns> and <stretches> and <loads> and <prepares> to scatter pigeons to allow them to impress each other somewhere else

lemme think.....

One part of the advice given is true. Explain the situation, end the relationship, let the system take over, and move on. The system is set up to detect and prevent these things. Real married couples who actually live together and share household, etc have a hard time and a lot of evidential burden to prove ongoing real marriages, and it seems to be getting more difficult to meet this burden, especially in the lifting restrictions step. If a would-be scammer is really a scammer, and cannot meet the burden of proof for a true, bona fide intention to follow through with the commitment to marriage, (and attending / participating in the ceremony only isn't a bona fide commitment) then they are turned down in the next step of the process and given a deportation order. The withdrawal of participation of the USC in this multi-year process is not revenge, and the reporting of the factual events leading up to the dissolution of the marriage is not revenge either. From that, the beneficiary's case should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits and the petitioner should be free to move on with his or her life.

No intending immigrant has a "right" to be here. No "right" is granted just because someone may have been clever enough to use another person for a ticket here, even if it was to "pursue the american dream". There are legal ways to do that, including self-immigration, or work visa, or student visa, which do not involve using someone and hurting someone for their ticket. There is a high level of underlying trust in one another, on both sides, that is the basis of this process. We do this with the understanding and acceptance that the responsibilities of both the intending immigrant and the USC who petitions for them are clearly spelled out, the process that has to be followed is clearly spelled out, and there is a responsibility to both parties to follow through with the intentions that the intending immigration process is based on. The exceptions are spelled out. If the USC puts the intending immigrant into a situation other than a normal, ongoing marriage relationship (example abuse, etc) that falls under the definition of exception, then that immigrant may pursue other independent options through another category of the immigration process, and the USC is still responsible, and rightfully so, for that situation. Also spelled out.

Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do? As nice and comforting as this "ends justify the means" philosophy sounds on VJ, it is not the normal view of CIS short of compelling evidence that the USC failed to follow through with their commitment. I know of situations where this has happened, the next stage was denied, the appeal was denied, and the deportation order was issued. Nobody wins.

Regards,

David and Nitadyah

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

Just a little pigeon flitting in, wondering where the big bad hunter can show me that any of us advocated this:

"Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do?"

[Alt name 1]

If you noticed that was a question. Try not to get so defensive. (empathetic tone) We all at one time or another feel as though the entire universe revolves around us and that everything everyone everywhere says is directed directly at us. I understand. With healing and much medication that can be fixed. <innocent look> Is an intervention in order?

The pigeon comment was a joke. Directed at nobody in general.

AH, Mystery i see you have met the "flock". <yawns> and <stretches> and <loads> and <prepares> to scatter pigeons to allow them to impress each other somewhere else

lemme think.....

One part of the advice given is true. Explain the situation, end the relationship, let the system take over, and move on. The system is set up to detect and prevent these things. Real married couples who actually live together and share household, etc have a hard time and a lot of evidential burden to prove ongoing real marriages, and it seems to be getting more difficult to meet this burden, especially in the lifting restrictions step. If a would-be scammer is really a scammer, and cannot meet the burden of proof for a true, bona fide intention to follow through with the commitment to marriage, (and attending / participating in the ceremony only isn't a bona fide commitment) then they are turned down in the next step of the process and given a deportation order. The withdrawal of participation of the USC in this multi-year process is not revenge, and the reporting of the factual events leading up to the dissolution of the marriage is not revenge either. From that, the beneficiary's case should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits and the petitioner should be free to move on with his or her life.

No intending immigrant has a "right" to be here. No "right" is granted just because someone may have been clever enough to use another person for a ticket here, even if it was to "pursue the american dream". There are legal ways to do that, including self-immigration, or work visa, or student visa, which do not involve using someone and hurting someone for their ticket. There is a high level of underlying trust in one another, on both sides, that is the basis of this process. We do this with the understanding and acceptance that the responsibilities of both the intending immigrant and the USC who petitions for them are clearly spelled out, the process that has to be followed is clearly spelled out, and there is a responsibility to both parties to follow through with the intentions that the intending immigration process is based on. The exceptions are spelled out. If the USC puts the intending immigrant into a situation other than a normal, ongoing marriage relationship (example abuse, etc) that falls under the definition of exception, then that immigrant may pursue other independent options through another category of the immigration process, and the USC is still responsible, and rightfully so, for that situation. Also spelled out.

Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do? As nice and comforting as this "ends justify the means" philosophy sounds on VJ, it is not the normal view of CIS short of compelling evidence that the USC failed to follow through with their commitment. I know of situations where this has happened, the next stage was denied, the appeal was denied, and the deportation order was issued. Nobody wins.

Regards,

David and Nitadyah

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

Just a little pigeon flitting in, wondering where the big bad hunter can show me that any of us advocated this:

"Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do?"

[rebeccajo 14]

Do yourself a favor, chicken little.

If you're not referring to me, then don't quote me.

Or grow a pair and admit it when you are picking a fight.

If you noticed that was a question. Try not to get so defensive. (empathetic tone) We all at one time or another feel as though the entire universe revolves around us and that everything everyone everywhere says is directed directly at us. I understand. With healing and much medication that can be fixed. <innocent look> Is an intervention in order?

The pigeon comment was a joke. Directed at nobody in general.

AH, Mystery i see you have met the "flock". <yawns> and <stretches> and <loads> and <prepares> to scatter pigeons to allow them to impress each other somewhere else

lemme think.....

One part of the advice given is true. Explain the situation, end the relationship, let the system take over, and move on. The system is set up to detect and prevent these things. Real married couples who actually live together and share household, etc have a hard time and a lot of evidential burden to prove ongoing real marriages, and it seems to be getting more difficult to meet this burden, especially in the lifting restrictions step. If a would-be scammer is really a scammer, and cannot meet the burden of proof for a true, bona fide intention to follow through with the commitment to marriage, (and attending / participating in the ceremony only isn't a bona fide commitment) then they are turned down in the next step of the process and given a deportation order. The withdrawal of participation of the USC in this multi-year process is not revenge, and the reporting of the factual events leading up to the dissolution of the marriage is not revenge either. From that, the beneficiary's case should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits and the petitioner should be free to move on with his or her life.

No intending immigrant has a "right" to be here. No "right" is granted just because someone may have been clever enough to use another person for a ticket here, even if it was to "pursue the american dream". There are legal ways to do that, including self-immigration, or work visa, or student visa, which do not involve using someone and hurting someone for their ticket. There is a high level of underlying trust in one another, on both sides, that is the basis of this process. We do this with the understanding and acceptance that the responsibilities of both the intending immigrant and the USC who petitions for them are clearly spelled out, the process that has to be followed is clearly spelled out, and there is a responsibility to both parties to follow through with the intentions that the intending immigration process is based on. The exceptions are spelled out. If the USC puts the intending immigrant into a situation other than a normal, ongoing marriage relationship (example abuse, etc) that falls under the definition of exception, then that immigrant may pursue other independent options through another category of the immigration process, and the USC is still responsible, and rightfully so, for that situation. Also spelled out.

Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do? As nice and comforting as this "ends justify the means" philosophy sounds on VJ, it is not the normal view of CIS short of compelling evidence that the USC failed to follow through with their commitment. I know of situations where this has happened, the next stage was denied, the appeal was denied, and the deportation order was issued. Nobody wins.

Regards,

David and Nitadyah

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

Just a little pigeon flitting in, wondering where the big bad hunter can show me that any of us advocated this:

"Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do?"

[Alt name 1]

<still empathizing> The dainty glass slipper doesn't fit, it never will. I'm sorry. We all desperately want that sometimes. <shakes head sadly and sympathetically>

If you noticed that was a question. Try not to get so defensive. (empathetic tone) We all at one time or another feel as though the entire universe revolves around us and that everything everyone everywhere says is directed directly at us. I understand. With healing and much medication that can be fixed. <innocent look> Is an intervention in order?

The pigeon comment was a joke. Directed at nobody in general.

AH, Mystery i see you have met the "flock". <yawns> and <stretches> and <loads> and <prepares> to scatter pigeons to allow them to impress each other somewhere else

lemme think.....

One part of the advice given is true. Explain the situation, end the relationship, let the system take over, and move on. The system is set up to detect and prevent these things. Real married couples who actually live together and share household, etc have a hard time and a lot of evidential burden to prove ongoing real marriages, and it seems to be getting more difficult to meet this burden, especially in the lifting restrictions step. If a would-be scammer is really a scammer, and cannot meet the burden of proof for a true, bona fide intention to follow through with the commitment to marriage, (and attending / participating in the ceremony only isn't a bona fide commitment) then they are turned down in the next step of the process and given a deportation order. The withdrawal of participation of the USC in this multi-year process is not revenge, and the reporting of the factual events leading up to the dissolution of the marriage is not revenge either. From that, the beneficiary's case should be allowed to stand or fall on its own merits and the petitioner should be free to move on with his or her life.

No intending immigrant has a "right" to be here. No "right" is granted just because someone may have been clever enough to use another person for a ticket here, even if it was to "pursue the american dream". There are legal ways to do that, including self-immigration, or work visa, or student visa, which do not involve using someone and hurting someone for their ticket. There is a high level of underlying trust in one another, on both sides, that is the basis of this process. We do this with the understanding and acceptance that the responsibilities of both the intending immigrant and the USC who petitions for them are clearly spelled out, the process that has to be followed is clearly spelled out, and there is a responsibility to both parties to follow through with the intentions that the intending immigration process is based on. The exceptions are spelled out. If the USC puts the intending immigrant into a situation other than a normal, ongoing marriage relationship (example abuse, etc) that falls under the definition of exception, then that immigrant may pursue other independent options through another category of the immigration process, and the USC is still responsible, and rightfully so, for that situation. Also spelled out.

Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do? As nice and comforting as this "ends justify the means" philosophy sounds on VJ, it is not the normal view of CIS short of compelling evidence that the USC failed to follow through with their commitment. I know of situations where this has happened, the next stage was denied, the appeal was denied, and the deportation order was issued. Nobody wins.

Regards,

David and Nitadyah

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

Just a little pigeon flitting in, wondering where the big bad hunter can show me that any of us advocated this:

"Why is it that some here believe that stepping onto US soil suddenly absolves an intending immigrant from following the laws and guidelines and suddenly conveys rights to that person that allow them to do something other than follow through with what that person committed to do?"

[LaL 418]

back on topic please.

[rebeccajo 14]

I thought it looked lovely on you.

<still empathizing> The dainty glass slipper doesn't fit, it never will. I'm sorry. We all desperately want that sometimes. <shakes head sadly and sympathetically>

[Alt name 1]

<beaming> thank you (positive that is sincere and on the internet too, i'm stunned)

I thought it looked lovely on you.

<still empathizing> The dainty glass slipper doesn't fit, it never will. I'm sorry. We all desperately want that sometimes. <shakes head sadly and sympathetically>

[LaL 418]

back on topic please.

last request - back on topic. please stop with the back & forth.

[Alt name 1]

sorry

back on topic please.

last request - back on topic. please stop with the back & forth.

[Mona_Greg 0]

When people realized they are scammed for the American dream there first response is always revenge by way of taking away their "loved ones" rights to be here. I think when someone makes the decision to make a commitment to bring someone to America they should decide if this is a person that would contribute something to America, your community, and society. If you do not think they would, why would you marry them anyways? Then if you thought she/he would, then let them stay and benefit the rest of us. AH, but all most care about is what do they get out of the deal.

Get some counseling figure out what your lacking emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, that allowed you to fall victim to this type of scam. Stop with the revenge animosity and grow from the experience.

If you have any obligations left regarding the situation, I would tell the truth, but do not waste your time trying to figure ways to get her out. Let the USCIS figure out how to fix your mistake. That is what they get paid for. Spend the time growing, changing, and healing from the situation.

Oh isn't that the truth.

How many times have I read the angry comments, especially those that refer to 'how much it cost' to bring them here.

You know, when somebody moves halfway around the world, a little bit of understanding and compassion towards their adjustment to a new life could go a long way.

I often wonder, when I read posts about a USC being 'scammed' - I sometimes wonder just how much real effort the USC put into the immigrants adjustment and adaptation to America. I sometimes wonder if the foreign born spouse didn't just feel neglected, lost and abandoned, and the marriage subsequently fell apart.

It's funny how you guys can judge when being on the outside of a situation like this and say "well it was your fault because you brought this person here", etc....

Let me tell you guys something NONE of us PLANNED for things to turn out the way they do. If we knew it would, then I'll tell you for a fact I would not have done in bringing my then fiance here to the US. NOBODY here is perfect and to say that we LACKED in something and that is the reason of a failed marriage/relationship on the basis of a few posts here sharing a problem is so PREMATURE.

REBECAJJO - Your attitude twds the victims in a situation like this is just plain nasty, wicked and humiliating. To say that all we care about is to "send your spouses back to their countries because we spent so much money" is so shallow that maybe you need to be put through a situation like this and have your feelings played with. Then we will see what you would come here and say..... Get yourself through a course of "humanity" and then you can come here and hopefully not come on here and type all that garbage just just reflects the attitude of someone that thinks that you are so much better than others that come here to share a problem......

Thank you !!!!! I AGREE ...

[sj5 4]

I scam my husband and he likes it..and now I'm in America