Wedding!

[Melyssa 0]

Here is how things went for us:

We met in June 2005. I was not looking for anyone at ALL. A friend and I were attending a conference together and I was excited to meet everybody, except the guys that were around my age (not that there were many of them there.) So anyways we ended up meeting an older couple. Turned out they had a son about our age and decided to introduce him to us. We looked up into the eyes of a tall handsome young man, but I didn't say hi to him - I didn't even bother to shake his hand. I thought it was funny when his father "made" us exchange email addresses later, and I had no intention of writing to him at first. So we left that conference with me joking to my friend that this young man's dad would be happier than he himself if he ended up with one of us!

A few weeks past and another friend I met at th conference said something nice about him. So I figured, maybe I should write to him after all? Well to make a long story short we started writing daily. The story of how we came to know we were interested in each other is funny too - he actually thought I was interested in someone ELSE! But anyways! Before long everything was straightened out and we were visiting each other. We had to wait before becoming engaged, but we finally did toward the beginning of 2007...before then we knew we were going to get married but, without going into too many details on a public forum, we just didn't think it was the right time yet. So we waited, and waited.

Finally toward the beginning of 2007, we decided it was time to get married. We don't have a romantic story or a ring - I didnt'want one; we don't care much for rings. We did get wedding bands, but only so people will know we're married when we are in public and aren't just a couple of teenagers messing around, because we're quite a bit older than we look! If we had it our way, we would have been married practically as soon as we got engaged. We had no reason to wait.

But... immigration apparently thought so. My then fiance was horrified to find out we'd have to wait so long. So we spent all of February looking up all the information on the I-129F for a K1, and doing all the paperwork. He also wanted to 'officially' ask my dad for permission to marry me, in person, so he did that in February as well. I don't think we knew about any other option besides the K1 - but I don't think we would have cared for the other options anyway. After we learned about the other options, we'd already filed, but we didn't want to have to be apart at all when we were married. So the K1 was the best route for us, although obviously it has its downside (having to wait for work authorization and travel authorization...but those weren't as important to us as being together when we were married.)

So we filed in March, yadda-yadda-yadda, and finally got the interview in Montreal on October 17th. And you probably already read all about that. We were looking at November 9th, and then November 2nd for our wedding date because we honestly thought I'd probably receive my visa in a week or two weeks and we wanted to be on the safe side. BUT we also knew that if in the 1% chance I got my visa two days after my interview, that we'd want to get married sooner. And then to our shock and surprise and delight, I DID get my visa just two days after my interview. So it was a total, sweet surprise.

Immediately we were trying to decide if we still should wait a couple of weeks, or if we should see if it would actually work out to get married the following Tuesday. Everything literally fell into place. I got my visa on Friday, he talked to his boss and started the 3 day waiting period for our marriage license on Friday, he drove the six hours to Canada on Saturday morning, we spent some time with my family and other friends, and we drove to back to the U.S. with the K1 on Sunday evening (I wrote about the POE experience in another post today. ) It even worked out for the girl friend I wanted for one of our two witnesses to be in town, so we had her with us as well. I did my part of the license on Monday and we joked about being a little late with our rings (we didn't get them until a week after we were married!) and I spent the rest of the evening and the night at my [girl] friend's house before we got married. My friend and I made a cake because I happened to have a cake mix, and then...

Tuesday, my then fiance came to pick us up and drive us to the courthouse. We had found - I don't know how because we had a huge struggle when it came to finding a flexible officiant - a judge who performed weddings on Tuesday mornings. i was dressed up in a white dress and a veil (i almost didn't wear the veil though, because I thought I would feel out of place wearing it at a courthouse - but my husband liked the idea of a veil so...) he thought we were probably just going to be signing papers and that it would only take 5 minutes (!), so he was dressed all casual. LOL

Well anyways, he drove us to the courthouse, and we had to wait a bit before being called in by the judge. Thankfully the courthouse was a little one - I was imagining a huge one like the Superior Court in Ottawa! LOL anyways we got some cute comments from people who were going in and out of the courthouse... some people thought we were too young to get married and surprised to find out that we were in our mid twenties! We got some "awww" looks and even an "Awwww...." from the prosecutors, and a few congratulations. Then my friend was called in to sign as one of the witnesses (the secretary acted as the other witness) and she told us later that someone had thought SHE was the one getting married, and told her she didn't have to do this (she looks even younger than we do - she could pass for as young as 12, LOL, so she probably looked about 16 - and yet she is older than me and my husband! SO FUNNY!) Even the secretary told us "You guys are YOUNG...how old are you?!" and when we told her she immediately said "Ohhh that's not THAT young." LOL

So she led us into the judge's office and we passed by a line of people waiting to go into the court. We had no idea what to expect; it was so surreal. The judge began reading his ceremony, which to our surprise, was quite simple and beautiful - just out style. He got us to say vows to each other and the "I do's" (but I accidentally said "I do" before I was supposed to so he had to tell me, "Not yet..!" He even said this was being done in the presence of God, which was a total surprise to us because since he was a judge... you know, we thought that would be missing... but we were SO delighted when he said that. But I was kind of giggly through the ceremony because it just didn't feel real; I don't even remember much of what was said. He also had to coax us to hold hands after he pronounced us husband and wife (we'd never held hands before getting married.) And then we got two pictures - one with me and my husband and another with the judge, me, my husband and friend, taken by our other witness (the secretary.) And then we walked out smiling and overheard the people in the line waiting to go into COURT saying "they're SMILING!!!" as if it was really cute or something. So it was kinda like we had our own little receiving line lol.

We walked out and drove around a bit, trying to find the place to deliver the license/marriage certificate, and then drove to my friend's city so we could take pictures at the park we used to always hang out at just to talk. It was BEAUTIFUL - the autumn is a special time of year for us (it is the time we got to visit each other most), and the colours of the leaves were just how I hoped they would be by the time we were finally able to get married, if, due to the visa process, we really had to wait until the autumn. (Which we did - we could have transferred our case to Vancouver, but that would have been dishonest and honestly, we did not want to risk something going wrong even if I really did move there and we could have maybe honestly said that I was living there - going all the way to the other side of a country was a big risk and we don't have the money to waste on airfare and hotels either - or rather, we don't want to waste it. You have to take risks sometimes, for sure, but this was not one we wanted to take a risk on. I am almost convinced that it was one that would have failed.)

So we got my friend to take some pictures of us in the park, and then we went to her place for a few minutes so she could give us her gifts and we could eat the cake. Then we said good-bye to her - she had to leave for a 10 hour drive that same day.

When we left, we stopped to see a couple of our other friends and drop off some pieces of leftover cake. (By now I was just wearing my pretty white dress with no veil or white shoes or shawl - just running shoes - but I didn't care. After all my husband was dressed casually. Too bad we didn't get a picture that showed me in the dress and runners. )

Then we drove back to where we are living, and waited outside for a few minutes, where we exchanged our first kiss EVER (yes, we never kissed before) - more or less in private. Something we had decided long ago - we didn't want to exchange our first kiss in public, but I suppose we couldn't quite wait until we were inside, but at least it was still more or less in private. Technically the first actual kiss was while we were waiting in traffic after we were married and alone, and I kissed him on his hand.

So that was that. It's been over a month already, and we've had a beautiful time. Not a single argument, and we talk a few times about how we ever waited so long, or went so long without seeing each other, and such. But we're so glad that we don't have to leave each other anymore. No more long overnight bus rides by myself anymore. At first it was kind of hard to believe and take in that I didn't have to go home. Now it's amazing that it hasn't always been this way.

[trailmix 77]

Hey Melyssa,

I did miss this post this morning! Congratulations to you and your new Husband! What a nice story you two have

[Melyssa 0]

Hey Melyssa,

I did miss this post this morning! Congratulations to you and your new Husband! What a nice story you two have

Hehe, thanks. I was kinda teasing in the other post, but it's nice to finally see a reply! There's the POE post, too!

[SonoranSongbird 3]

Aww, this is so sweet!

[Carlawarla 1]

That was a sweet story. Thanks for sharing. Do you have some pictures?

Carla

[Chica Yeyé 41]

That was a sweet story. Thanks for sharing. Do you have some pictures?

Carla

ditto. congratulations!! and where are the pics???????????

[Krikit 1,164]

Congratulations Melyssa! But seriously..... you'd never even held hands before you married?

[Melyssa 0]

Yes I have tons of pictures up on facebook. You can PM me if you would like to see. Sorry if anyone already did and I forgot to send the link; please feel free to ask again!

No we did not touch each other before we got married.

[trailmix 77]

No we did not touch each other before we got married.

Well that is certainly out of the norm!

I would love to see your pics, can you pm me your facebook link please?

Edited December 4, 2007 by trailmix

[Lona.C. 16]

AWWWW what a sweet story CONGRATULATIONS

[trailmix 77]

Lovely pictures and you two make a lovely couple!!

[Krikit 1,164]

No we did not touch each other before we got married.

Well that is certainly out of the norm!

Well, there's an understatement!

Absolutely no offense intended, Melyssa, but.... wow. That's gotta make for a really awkward wedding night.

[Melyssa 0]

No we did not touch each other before we got married.

Well that is certainly out of the norm!

Well, there's an understatement!

Absolutely no offense intended, Melyssa, but.... wow. That's gotta make for a really awkward wedding night.

Not really. We have no regrets whatsoever. We're more convinced now that touch should only be in marriage, in fact, since that *is* important for that stuff!

[SonoranSongbird 3]

It's not the norm, but I don't think it's all THAT unusual, either.

[Krikit 1,164]

It's not the norm, but I don't think it's all THAT unusual, either.

Well, I know not having sex before marriage isn't unusual. But not touching at all is. But definitely to each his own. I'm definitely not putting anyone down. Just found it interesting.