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[Jenn! 918]

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

but it can weed out those that are less than genuine.

Well, maybe it would weed out those who are less than genuine AND a little bit slow.

[Jenn! 918]

Plus, games and tests aren't a hot way to start a life together. You have to make up your mind whether you trust your SO's intentions or not. If not, don't bother petitioning in the first place.

Exactly, that too.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

but it can weed out those that are less than genuine.

Well, maybe it would weed out those who are less than genuine AND a little bit slow.

Plus, games and tests aren't a hot way to start a life together. You have to make up your mind whether you trust your SO's intentions or not. If not, don't bother petitioning in the first place.

Absolutely.

[sereia 0]

exactly. and how can you possibly know your SO's intentions if you've met only once?

Agreed

Plus, games and tests aren't a hot way to start a life together. You have to make up your mind whether you trust your SO's intentions or not. If not, don't bother petitioning in the first place.

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

Ding ding ding again !

[chaishai 1]

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

but it can weed out those that are less than genuine.

I disagree with this. I think that the slick net cafe american wife shopping guys would have all of those answers prepared and be convincing, i think its in some sort of handbook. But what if you had a sincere person and they really wanted to live in the US and gave the USC a hard time? Now if they broke up with the USC because of this, then there is your answer. However just having an argument or whatever about it could cause unnecessary doubt in the USCs head. After being together a long time and 2 kids and lots of money he invested in me (for various personal reasons) I dont think my hubby used me for a GC. However if I tested him with lets just live in israel he would say are you nuts and we would have probably fought (and i would have had unnecessary doubts). He doesnt want to live there. Neither do I!

[boardashell_2000 0]

Hope you have done your homework. You are dealing with one of the meanest consulates in the state department. Almost two weeks together aint gonna hack it at the interview. You need to make more trips, or spend more time together.

Youre in for a long wait.

Now that's the way to welcome someone!

Our K-1 process took under 6 months. Some take longer, especially with longer processing times at USCIS lately. Don't worry too much.

If you read her orig post, she is looking for advice. Some have said the 'have patience'. I only told her the facts in which the rest of you are in denial. As a matter of fact, I gave her excellent advice.

That is not true at all.....I only spent 2 weeks with my husband and was approved with no problems at all! You claim to know "facts" .. did you go through Casa?

[maggieNomar 0]

Hope you have done your homework. You are dealing with one of the meanest consulates in the state department. Almost two weeks together aint gonna hack it at the interview. You need to make more trips, or spend more time together.

Youre in for a long wait.

Now that's the way to welcome someone!

Our K-1 process took under 6 months. Some take longer, especially with longer processing times at USCIS lately. Don't worry too much.

If you read her orig post, she is looking for advice. Some have said the 'have patience'. I only told her the facts in which the rest of you are in denial. As a matter of fact, I gave her excellent advice.

That is not true at all.....I only spent 2 weeks with my husband and was approved with no problems at all! You claim to know "facts" .. did you go through Casa?

The last time you, desert, posted something that caused a blow up and someone mentioned re-reading your words before your post so you don't come off half cocked, you responded that you would do that an apologized for upsetting the cart. Now here you are again with what may very well be good advice, presented poorly. Do you get some kind of joy out of your writing style?? Yes it's true that the more visits the better, but to say 5 or 6 at $1200 a piece are needed, in addition to time away from work and maybe small kids...good golly you'd scare 90% away. Most people only get to meet once because of the cost. There's a bigger picture, which MK painted very nicely by showing the many different proofs that are needed.

[Nutty 2]

Agreed

Plus, games and tests aren't a hot way to start a life together. You have to make up your mind whether you trust your SO's intentions or not. If not, don't bother petitioning in the first place.

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

Ding ding ding again !

First of all....my decision to live with my husband in Iran and India was out of the fact I did not want to live in USA. Therefore my situation was really not a "test."

Secondly, what is wrong for saying you want to live with them in their country for a while? A US citizen might learn more about their spouses expectations of what the marriage is about....What their culture is like...How their spouse's family is....

Secondly, how many of you read the forum of "effects of major family changes after coming to USA?" You will see how many people were in love and believed that their spouse was truthful and later say they were "used for greencard?" Or others who say they came to USA and are now being abused by their sponsors. Or that their sponsors have mental illnesses, etc, etc....

Yes, certainly, go by your gut instinct. But if it is an internet relationship, with minimal face to face contact, how can you be sure of anything? How much do you really know about the other person? Especially in this day and age with so many people misrepresenting themselves on the net. Even spending a few weeks here or there to meet is not "reality" but more of a honeymoon phase....Where love is bliss....

Edited November 29, 2007 by Nutty

[Nutty 2]

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

but it can weed out those that are less than genuine.

Here! Here!

[Jenn! 918]

Agreed

Plus, games and tests aren't a hot way to start a life together. You have to make up your mind whether you trust your SO's intentions or not. If not, don't bother petitioning in the first place.

So my suggestion to you is...Tell your significant other that you would prefer to live in their country. See what their reaction is...It will help you to decide what path to take.

I don't think this would tell you much of anything, really. Everyone says, "well my SO said he'd be ok with me moving there, so I know he's not using me for a green card". People with bad intentions will tell you what you want to hear.

Ding ding ding again !

First of all....my decision to live with my husband in Iran and India was out of the fact I did not want to live in USA. Therefore my situation was really not a "test."

Secondly, what is wrong for saying you want to live with them in their country for a while? A US citizen might learn more about their spouses expectations of what the marriage is about....What their culture is like...How their spouse's family is....

Secondly, how many of you read the forum of "effects of major family changes after coming to USA?" You will see how many people were in love and believed that their spouse was truthful and later say they were "used for greencard?" Or others who say they came to USA and are now being abused by their sponsors. Or that their sponsors have mental illnesses, etc, etc....

Yes, certainly, go by your gut instinct. But if it is an internet relationship, with minimal face to face contact, how can you be sure of anything? How much do you really know about the other person? Especially in this day and age with so many people misrepresenting themselves on the net. Even spending a few weeks here or there to meet is not "reality" but more of a honeymoon phase....Where love is bliss....

Nobody's disputing any of that. We're saying that even if you're going to use a test, the "let's live in your MENA country" test isn't a very good one.

[ya falaha! 0]

Nothing is wrong with wanting to live in your SO's country is that's what you sincerely want. However, the way you worded it in your earlier post...to tell your SO you want to live in his country and see his reaction...is a kind of test. Testing your SO is wrong IMO. It shows just how little you trust him or her. No test is a guarantee anyways. Like someone said earlier...those out to commit fraud will tell you what you want to hear and what you think they should say. No one is going to come out and say...I'm using you for a GC or visa. All you can do is have faith and wish for the best. Are there any real guarantees in life besides death?

Edited November 29, 2007 by moody

[desert_fox 32]

The last time you, desert, posted something that caused a blow up and someone mentioned re-reading your words before your post so you don't come off half cocked, you responded that you would do that an apologized for upsetting the cart. Now here you are again with what may very well be good advice, presented poorly. Do you get some kind of joy out of your writing style?? Yes it's true that the more visits the better, but to say 5 or 6 at $1200 a piece are needed, in addition to time away from work and maybe small kids...good golly you'd scare 90% away. Most people only get to meet once because of the cost. There's a bigger picture, which MK painted very nicely by showing the many different proofs that are needed.

I never said 5 or 6 times. But, as you all know, this consulate is not easy as verified by all of your posts. There is always someone that posts their antedotal situation that is contrary to the general rule, like Sarah, but she only does it to pour some salt on your wounds.

To tell her that there will be no problem is very disgenuine, and contrary to the real situation. Many people here have been used and burned by someone they met in that part of the world. You may well have a true loving relationship, or at least think that you have on, but the consulate thinks differently. They assume that they are all fraudulent, until you are able to overcome that presumption. The more genuine time that you spend together, with more knowledge of each other, the easier your burden will be. But, IMHO, meeting someone there in some chat room, and then going to visit for two weeks or less, is going to be a MAJOR problem with the consulate. This is the consulate from hell.

But, just to end on a positive note.....GOOD LUCK!!!

[Nutty 2]

I didn't want to cause a ruckus...I genuinely thought my advice was sound and STILL DO.

However, in response to the girl that posted...My rephrased advice is..."To get to know him better since you only exchange "promise rings "(not the same thing as engagement rings, right?)?

[yassmine2878 1]

The last time you, desert, posted something that caused a blow up and someone mentioned re-reading your words before your post so you don't come off half cocked, you responded that you would do that an apologized for upsetting the cart. Now here you are again with what may very well be good advice, presented poorly. Do you get some kind of joy out of your writing style?? Yes it's true that the more visits the better, but to say 5 or 6 at $1200 a piece are needed, in addition to time away from work and maybe small kids...good golly you'd scare 90% away. Most people only get to meet once because of the cost. There's a bigger picture, which MK painted very nicely by showing the many different proofs that are needed.

There is always someone that posts their antedotal situation that is contrary to the general rule, like Sarah, but she only does it to pour some salt on your wounds.

But, IMHO, meeting someone there in some chat room, and then going to visit for two weeks or less, is going to be a MAJOR problem with the consulate. This is the consulate from hell.

There is more than one person who fits your 'impossible profile'. Ahmed and I only met once before filing and our communications started in a chat room. We were approved without any relationship/validity RFE's. There's no need to dash the OP's hopes right out of the starting gate. Some people have a hard time, others dont. There is no perfect or imperfect situation that applies to the Moroccan consulate. When you've dealt with Casablanca personally, or any other MNEA consulate for that matter, then you might be more quailfied to advise on what its like to go through there.

[desert_fox 32]

There is more than one person who fits your 'impossible profile'. Ahmed and I only met once before filing and our communications started in a chat room. We were approved without any relationship/validity RFE's. There's no need to dash the OP's hopes right out of the starting gate. Some people have a hard time, others dont. There is no perfect or imperfect situation that applies to the Moroccan consulate. When you've dealt with Casablanca personally, or any other MNEA consulate for that matter, then you might be more quailfied to advise on what its like to go through there.

Once again....antedotal situation of someone that had no problem. For everyone that had no problem, i would wager that there are three posts from people who were summarily denied.

What someone has to do (someone smarter than me, which is all of you), is to design a poll, or questionaire, as to why some ppl have no problem, and others have nothing but problems.

Things to consider would be...family from that part of the world; shared culture and language; shared religion; length of time in knowing each other, age differences; previous marriage; and any other characteristic that may be relevant as to why some ppl have no problem, and others nothing but problems.

i aint dashing anyones hopes, Im just giving her a headsup to expect problems. Who knows, maybe her parents were born there, maybe she speaks fluent french or arabic, maybe she is muslim...hard to say when ppl only say that they had no problem, when we all know that there are problems.