How large or small is the ME community in your area?

[yassmine2878 1]

There is a moderate sprinkling of Arabs in our area. Several folks from Palestine just in our apartment complex. 2 mosques within 10 minutes' drive. Lots of Arab-owned or operated gas stations scattered around. No Arab-owned food stores in the immediate area though, so thats kind of a bummer. However there is one within about 15 minutes drive. Since arriving in February, Ahmed has only run across 3 other folks from Morocco, so he's a little lonely for peeps from his own country. However, Im kinda glad we dont live somewhere with a HUGE Arab population because being around so many English-speaking people has really improved Ahmed's language skills. He's even picking up Spanish really fast, its impressive.

[ya falaha! 0]

Your husband isn't the first person I've heard this from. I've known a few Arabs who prefer not to live in a predominately Arab community (my ex and my current husband included). My husband has a couple Arab friends here but for the most part he doesn't trust other Arabs particularly other Egyptians. He's had a few bad experiences with Arabs here while looking for work (suprisingly the worst were Egyptians). There are a few other reasons but I'm not going to get into them here.

The area we live in doesn't have too many Arabs but not far from us (Dearborn) has a HUGE community.

It doesn't exist There are some students here at the university, and other than that? Well-- nothing. So no halal stores, no arab stores, nothing kosher either. So if I want Arabian kinds of foods, I have to order off the internet. He actually likes it this way-- he says he's not interested in talking to other arabs

[Nasturtium 500]

Your husband isn't the first person I've heard this from. I've known a few Arabs who prefer not to live in a predominately Arab community (my ex and my current husband included). My husband has a couple Arab friends here but for the most part he doesn't trust other Arabs particularly other Egyptians. He's had a few bad experiences with Arabs here while looking for work (suprisingly the worst were Egyptians). There are a few other reasons but I'm not going to get into them here.

The area we live in doesn't have too many Arabs but not far from us (Dearborn) has a HUGE community.

It doesn't exist There are he's not interested in talking to other arabs

Yeah, Ammar is like that. He met a few and plays occasionally on a soccer team... but he said he doesn't particularly trust other Arabs that he didn't already know prior to coming to the US, and he also said he feels he will never acculturate and improve his English if he hangs around other Arabs.

[Jenn! 918]

Does assimilation and adjustment to American culture mean distancing oneself from one's own countrymen?

I'm just curious about the motivation behind not wanting to associate with others from your country. Wadi also said things like this when he first came here, but doesn't anymore. I think I remember also saying that I didn't want to hang out with expat Americans when I was first living in Italy.

Edited November 26, 2007 by Jenn!

[ya falaha! 0]

I'll speak for my husband and say that it doesn't have anything to do with assimilation into American culture. My husband has had nothing but bad experiences with the Egyptians he's met here. He worked for an Egyptian for one week and at the end of the week was informed that the 48 hrs he worked was "training" and wasn't going to get paid for it. Thankfully he was able to find another job that paid more and was closer to home just a day after the Egyptian screwed him. That wasn't the only Egyptian who did that to him. One guy hung up on him as soon as he knew my husband was Egyptian. It's like they don't want to see their fellow countrymen succeed or get ahead. This is not unlike how some Egyptians treat each other in their home country, unfortunately.

[Nasturtium 500]

Also Ammar mentioned something about how "everyone wants something and will cheat to get it" and he didn't want to be part of it. I think this is part of his concerns as well-- he doesn't want people trying to get stuff out of him-- including like the above mentioned "free" training hours.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yes, I've been told that, too. Not so much the cheating part but that they'll always want favors or want to "borrow" money, etc.

The sad part about the Egyptian who got the free training hours, I spoke to the man on the phone before my husband worked for him. He told me, I know what it's like to be new in the country so I like to help out other Egyptians. By helping he means using them for free labor. It's sick that this guy probably thought he was doing my husband a favor.

Also Ammar mentioned something about how "everyone wants something and will cheat to get it" and he didn't want to be part of it. I think this is part of his concerns as well-- he doesn't want people trying to get stuff out of him-- including like the above mentioned "free" training hours.

[Jenn! 918]

It's like they don't want to see their fellow countrymen succeed or get ahead. This is not unlike how some Egyptians treat each other in their home country, unfortunately.

I was wondering about that, because I have to say that we've seen this too, ie. things very similar to your unpaid training experience. I was thinking that it was maybe an immigrant attitude, you know, maybe do what you have to do in order to make something of yourself here. But if they do it to each other in Egypt too, that's too bad. No wonder there's a desire to disassociate...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I haven't really had time to become part of the Middle Eastern Society in my area. I'm new to this region and so far there is more controversy here then when I was living in Boise. I already had some scary feelings about them because of the issues of this region and articles like this:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/attack/81080...igation02.shtml

And then this:

http://crapo.senate.gov/media/newsreleases...l.cfm?id=232406

And I am sure you all know about the Ruby Ridge and white supremists stuff. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_Ridge

It's just not a good idea in these rural regions to get too involved with any one thing.

[ya falaha! 0]

It's mostly the ones who have been here for several years that are doing the underhanded stuff. But yeah a lot of them do it to each other in Egypt, too. I think some of that is due to the lousy economy. They'll do just about anything to get ahead.

It's like they don't want to see their fellow countrymen succeed or get ahead. This is not unlike how some Egyptians treat each other in their home country, unfortunately.

I was wondering about that, because I have to say that we've seen this too, ie. things very similar to your unpaid training experience. I was thinking that it was maybe an immigrant attitude, you know, maybe do what you have to do in order to make something of yourself here. But if they do it to each other in Egypt too, that's too bad. No wonder there's a desire to disassociate...

[sarah and hicham 3]

Hicham doesn't really care to meet other Moroccans. When he first moved here he got a job with a Moroccan and he still talks to him but other than that, he doesn't care to meet anyone from Morocco here. Before he came he was very hesitent to tell his friends he was moving here because he said that they would act happy for him but that they wouldn't wish him well. I thought that was interesting. Either way there's no opportunity to meet other MOroccans here because there aren't any so that's that.

[mybackpages 0]

Does assimilation and adjustment to American culture mean distancing oneself from one's own countrymen?

I'm just curious about the motivation behind not wanting to associate with others from your country. Wadi also said things like this when he first came here, but doesn't anymore. I think I remember also saying that I didn't want to hang out with expat Americans when I was first living in Italy.

Perhaps some of the relunctance is the acknowledgement that just because someone shares the same nationality as you does not mean you will have anything in common?

I supppose everyone has their own need level for reminders of home and their own preferences for how to incorporate this into their lives.

[MrsAmera 41]

Olivia,

The small town notion is hard to swallow but all the business with Muslim charities and the FBI etc I'm afraid are part and parcel of being Muslim in America today. I work for the largest Islamic umbrealla organization in the US, and although we have close ties with some government offices who at least try to make us think they are on our side it's not always true. Unfortunately the view of Muslims and Arabs as to what's a terrorist and the American government don't always run the same line (the same could be said for other groups). I won't lie though small (white) esp towns are hard to deal with for many immigrants.

[Carolyn 1]

he says he's not interested in talking to other arabs

My husband agrees with yours, julianna.

We have a smallish MENA population in Minneapolis/St. Paul and my husband has made a couple of good friends. During Ramadan one year ago he was hanging out at a local Sheesha cafe playing cards and met LOTS of Moroccans, Algerians And Egyptians. He hung out with them for a while, but they weren't the best influences. Too much partying and crazy lifestyles. He has chosen to not be involved with most of them at all.

Another issue that might cause some controversy: being involved with the local Muslim population can be potentially risky in the current political climate. If you meet one nice guy, who knows who else he might know? What if your phone number ends up in the phone of someone with suspect ties?

My husband was warned by his Moroccan friends in New York (who have lived in the US for 15-20 years) to stay away from Muslims in this country. Perhaps they are just paranoid, but the Patriot Act is scary stuff. Anyone seen the movie Rendition yet?

At any rate, live your life how you want, but be careful who you associate with.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Yeah I know what you mean. At least I only have a year and half left here before I move to a larger city!

Olivia,

The small town notion is hard to swallow but all the business with Muslim charities and the FBI etc I'm afraid are part and parcel of being Muslim in America today. I work for the largest Islamic umbrealla organization in the US, and although we have close ties with some government offices who at least try to make us think they are on our side it's not always true. Unfortunately the view of Muslims and Arabs as to what's a terrorist and the American government don't always run the same line (the same could be said for other groups). I won't lie though small (white) esp towns are hard to deal with for many immigrants.