Goodbye

[Perseverance 1]

Well, I have to say goodbye to everyone, I will be closing my account after this to there is no need for a response from anyone, I just wanted to give an explanation to my disapearance. Everytime I post on VJ my husband will later snoop and read what I posted, he will find a way to twist my posts and use them against me. The latest one being my post on the "M word" topic. He now says that I am still in love with my ex and my life is now hell again. I am sure that he will read this too. What does it matter anymore, he will make his own asumptions about what he reads and come to his own conclusions and to him it will be gospel.

I want to thank everyone who has helped me along the way, and supported me when I needed it. Good Luck to those who are on your journey.

Good Bye...

[Otto 83]

[Ta Ta 1]

Heather I really hate to see you go.

It does not appear at all that you are still in love with your ex from what you posted.

It shows emotional growth that you forgave him and put the past behind you.

Too bad that your husband does not realize that he needs to support you when you share your feeling like you did and showed your vulnerability.

A hug would have been nice instead of criticism.

No need to drive yourself crazy defending yourself, allow him to believe what he wants to believe but talk to him quietly and if he does not accept it

well than that is his problem.

You have suffered enough in the past and it would be helpful if he would can see the distress he is causing with the comments he makes.

VJ is a good venue to vent, share and a help in overcoming cultural difficulties, so I hope you will be back. I have always enjoyed reading your posts. You know where to find me.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I'm sorry to hear that. You will be missed. I wish you and Justice the best of luck in the future.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Sorry to hear that you have to leave. Hope you can work things out with your husband and you can join us again soon

Saludos,

Caro

[Zee Bee 61]

[JenT 0]

Justice, if you are indeed reading this... you need to grow up. Trust is a basic element of any marriage and that comes from both people having self esteem. It sounds like you have none.... this is what you should be working on developing and not degrading the self esteem of your wife by snooping in her business. Is that what makes you feel like a man? Please.

Heather, I'm sorry you feel the need to take this step.... you will be missed.

Jen

[chispas 0]

Even though I only cruise by and have not posted, I have followed your journey. Good luck and take care of yourself. Remember, you don't have to always post something. Eventually one of the family members from will post something that you can relate to.

Ciao

[JJWashington 0]

Good Luck

[knl 0]

Hope you will join us again, this is too bad of your husband and he'll get over it. I love VJ and my husband knows it, I come here just about everyday for a year. Every time I'm at the computer, whether I'm on vj or not, my husband says, "visa journey". I hope everything gets resolved between you two.

Live every day like it could be your last, as we all know tomorrow is not promised. Justice love your wife and forgive her if you feel like she has done something wrong.

[Jasman0717 9]

Think you need to do more than just close your VJ account

[idocare 3]

Heather sorry to say that this sounds all to familiar. IF YOUR HUSBAND IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM U . you can expect lots of disarray in your near future, with the results ending in him moving out. So sorry to say that many people that have been members in the past of this same forum, fell in love over the internet in such a short time then ran to Nigeria to meet their " true love "

Once bringing these men here and app;ying for their adjustment of statis or they receive their green card things seems to change , now th little arguments/ misunderstandings become blown up and the person that you brought here is no longer the same person. They become confrontative, secretivr, and manipulative towards u, u probably feel as tho he thinks your the enemy.

Trust me many that went thru the journey with me back in 2004 r no longer with their Nigerian husbands. NOT ALL but for many americans both women and men, it just a plot for us Americans to assist them in getting out of Nigeria; a total scam. Unfortunately for us Americans we don't find out that we've been scammed until it's too late, they r here have their green card and now ready to get out of this marriage and go their way.

You think that this Nigerian threats u like the enemy sometimes is because in their mind u r the enemy, they no that they have love or someone back home that they want to be with, and they r patient enough to do what's required to get to America, and if it means marrying u then so be it, they aren't afraid of marriage, and they know it's something that only temporary, and that they don't have to stay married once here in America.

Us Americans r too trusting and some Nigerians are too manipultive so u won't see it coming until they r ready to move on and end the marriage, But in the mean time you will have a great visit in Nigeria everyone will treat u with respect and you will be the only person that don't know he's just marrying u for visa benifits, heck his girlfriend/wife in Nigeria may be sitting in the room with you all being introduced as his cousin or someone.

I know cause it's happened to me and many friends that I met here on this site. So I just want too caution u all that if it seems to good to be tru and u found true love on the net from ANY other country it just may not be true, or it wait , it will be true for a period of time, cause they need u to sign for their papers. or to get them a visa to come into America.

[HBO 0]

Heather sorry to say that this sounds all to familiar. IF YOUR HUSBAND IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM U . you can expect lots of disarray in your near future, with the results ending in him moving out. So sorry to say that many people that have been members in the past of this same forum, fell in love over the internet in such a short time then ran to Nigeria to meet their " true love "

Once bringing these men here and app;ying for their adjustment of statis or they receive their green card things seems to change , now th little arguments/ misunderstandings become blown up and the person that you brought here is no longer the same person. They become confrontative, secretivr, and manipulative towards u, u probably feel as tho he thinks your the enemy.

Trust me many that went thru the journey with me back in 2004 r no longer with their Nigerian husbands. NOT ALL but for many americans both women and men, it just a plot for us Americans to assist them in getting out of Nigeria; a total scam. Unfortunately for us Americans we don't find out that we've been scammed until it's too late, they r here have their green card and now ready to get out of this marriage and go their way.

You think that this Nigerian threats u like the enemy sometimes is because in their mind u r the enemy, they no that they have love or someone back home that they want to be with, and they r patient enough to do what's required to get to America, and if it means marrying u then so be it, they aren't afraid of marriage, and they know it's something that only temporary, and that they don't have to stay married once here in America.

Us Americans r too trusting and some Nigerians are too manipultive so u won't see it coming until they r ready to move on and end the marriage, But in the mean time you will have a great visit in Nigeria everyone will treat u with respect and you will be the only person that don't know he's just marrying u for visa benifits, heck his girlfriend/wife in Nigeria may be sitting in the room with you all being introduced as his cousin or someone.

I know cause it's happened to me and many friends that I met here on this site. So I just want too caution u all that if it seems to good to be tru and u found true love on the net from ANY other country it just may not be true, or it wait , it will be true for a period of time, cause they need u to sign for their papers. or to get them a visa to come into America.

Wow! Very interesting post. Where is Victor now?

[chispas 0]

Heather sorry to say that this sounds all to familiar. IF YOUR HUSBAND IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM U . you can expect lots of disarray in your near future, with the results ending in him moving out. So sorry to say that many people that have been members in the past of this same forum, fell in love over the internet in such a short time then ran to Nigeria to meet their " true love "

Once bringing these men here and app;ying for their adjustment of statis or they receive their green card things seems to change , now th little arguments/ misunderstandings become blown up and the person that you brought here is no longer the same person. They become confrontative, secretivr, and manipulative towards u, u probably feel as tho he thinks your the enemy.

Trust me many that went thru the journey with me back in 2004 r no longer with their Nigerian husbands. NOT ALL but for many americans both women and men, it just a plot for us Americans to assist them in getting out of Nigeria; a total scam. Unfortunately for us Americans we don't find out that we've been scammed until it's too late, they r here have their green card and now ready to get out of this marriage and go their way.

You think that this Nigerian threats u like the enemy sometimes is because in their mind u r the enemy, they no that they have love or someone back home that they want to be with, and they r patient enough to do what's required to get to America, and if it means marrying u then so be it, they aren't afraid of marriage, and they know it's something that only temporary, and that they don't have to stay married once here in America.

Us Americans r too trusting and some Nigerians are too manipultive so u won't see it coming until they r ready to move on and end the marriage, But in the mean time you will have a great visit in Nigeria everyone will treat u with respect and you will be the only person that don't know he's just marrying u for visa benifits, heck his girlfriend/wife in Nigeria may be sitting in the room with you all being introduced as his cousin or someone.

I know cause it's happened to me and many friends that I met here on this site. So I just want too caution u all that if it seems to good to be tru and u found true love on the net from ANY other country it just may not be true, or it wait , it will be true for a period of time, cause they need u to sign for their papers. or to get them a visa to come into America.

IDO**** You PM Box is full

[Ta Ta 1]

Your response is overkill. You may feel the need to project your own heartache here but at this time Heather and her husband are

working things through and encouragement for their adjustment period would be more appropriate than your transference and projection.

The Nigerian bashing is getting old. How many times must it be said that NOT ALL Nigerians are scammers and a majority are wonderful people ?