DEPRESSION

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't see other members on here making a big post about this long hard process crying about it so deal with it. I been through it but not biath complain about it or patience is the key. Tkae up a hobbie do something to keep you mind off it.

I actually agree completely...but I suppose different people have different ways of dealing with stuff. Me? I love my man with all of my heart, and there's not a moment of the day that he's not on my mind...but when I wake up in the morning (most days, heh)...I'm happy because it's a brand new beautiful day, we're all healthy & happy, and 'no one's shootin at us'.

We both have all the time in the world to do things that we're not going to have so much time for later....friends, hobbies, being workaholics, etc. I spend copious amts of time with my family, which I did not have for the years I lived with D. And he in turn gets the oppty to soak up everything UK....he follows his football team, hangs out with his m8s, spends time with his family. These are things he will not get once he's here...and I, for one, am glad that he has the time to do them while he can. So that once he gets here, the 'coulda shoulda woulda' factor will be as low as poss.

I truly suggest those who are having problems with the delay find ways to occupy their time. It will be a big help!

I know I mention this from time to time, but for me...I suppose my mindset is all chilly chill most of the time because of my life threatening injury that I sustained all those years ago. Fully recovering from that surgery after being told I had a 50/50 chance 'at best' at survival and summat like 75-80 chance of paralysis, I've learned not to 'sweat the little things'. Is this wait truly a 'little thing'? Well, not quite...BUT it pales in comparison to true strife in this world. IMO of course...but I remember the car ride home from the hospital. It was the worst traffic jam I'd seen in years! We were on the freeway for hours and everyone was angry and beeping their horns, and yelling. But to me, it was the most beautiful traffic jam ever...cos I thought I'd never see the outside of that hospital ever again.

It truly changed me as a person and taught me a lot about not getting worked up about a lot of stuff.

I also gain a lot of my strength from my relationship with God. I feel that all things come in their due time, so I trust in HIM to guide us through this in the way HE deems fit.

I dunno, hope this helps someone

Edited November 26, 2007 by LisaD

[eric&gen 0]

I don't see other members on here making a big post about this long hard process crying about it so deal with it. I been through it but not biath complain about it. Patience is the key. Take up a hobbie do something to keep you mind off it.

I actually agree completely...but I suppose different people have different ways of dealing with stuff. Me? I love my man with all of my heart, and there's not a moment of the day that he's not on my mind...but when I wake up in the morning (most days, heh)...I'm happy because it's a brand new beautiful day, we're all healthy & happy, and 'no one's shootin at us'.

We both have all the time in the world to do things that we're not going to have so much time for later....friends, hobbies, being workaholics, etc. I spend copious amts of time with my family, which I did not have for the years I lived with D. And he in turn gets the oppty to soak up everything UK....he follows his football team, hangs out with his m8s, spends time with his family. These are things he will not get once he's here...and I, for one, am glad that he has the time to do them while he can. So that once he gets here, the 'coulda shoulda woulda' factor will be as low as poss.

I truly suggest those who are having problems with the delay find ways to occupy their time. It will be a big help!

I know I mention this from time to time, but for me...I suppose my mindset is all chilly chill most of the time because of my life threatening injury that I sustained all those years ago. Fully recovering from that surgery after being told I had a 50/50 chance 'at best' at survival and summat like 75-80 chance of paralysis, I've learned not to 'sweat the little things'. Is this wait truly a 'little thing'? Well, not quite...BUT it pales in comparison to true strife in this world. IMO of course...but I remember the car ride home from the hospital. It was the worst traffic jam I'd seen in years! We were on the freeway for hours and everyone was angry and beeping their horns, and yelling. But to me, it was the most beautiful traffic jam ever...cos I thought I'd never see the outside of that hospital ever again.

It truly changed me as a person and taught me a lot about not getting worked up about a lot of stuff.

I also gain a lot of my strength from my relationship with God. I feel that all things come in their due time, so I trust in HIM to guide us through this in the way HE deems fit.

I dunno, hope this helps someone

I was working 40 hours plus a week had no time to sit on vj to ####### about process lol. If you think about it the proces is not really that hard its just the waiting game but time flies if you keep busy lol.

[Sinergy 3]

I got thru the process bc of LisaD and a few others, OH YEA, i had a baby at the time who needed me 24/7 and i worked

wow i was busier then than i am now

[Mephys 2]

I truly have a hard time having sympathy for people attacking other people with no reason...

It's not our fault if we are Canadian, the separation is hard nonetheless. I might be in the US now, but I went through my waiting period like everyone else, and waiting for a divorce to file for a K-1 isn't easy because you don't know when is it going to happen, knowing that the K-1 itself can take months on top of it.

That attack toward Laura was very uncalled for, and saying that anybody that hasn't file for a Visa doesn't know how hard is it is very rude for many VJ members, not everybody has the chance to start the visa whenever they feel like it. Some divorces can take years, and that is very painful too.

Call people Kanooks goes in the same direction as calling people Niggers or Gooks, it's very racist and it's a direct attack to a nationality or an ethnicity.

And to the OP: Caps Lock OFF...ya know, it's not necessary.

[Ron/Sharon 0]

Your friend "laura" has no timeline, no eligibility for a visa, and nothing filed. When "laura" gets her divorce, files her paperwork, and waits for months apart then perhaps she can maybe express believable sympathy. At this time, anything else from "laura" will seem shallow to me, and to anyone else who is going through this hellish process (with a REAL application filed and REAL separation and REAL pain from that) Report that. But dont expect me to not express empathy for someone who's situation I that I do completely understand.

Since when must one be a fish to swim

[trailmix 77]

You know D&N, you did the OP a disservice with your posting. First off Laura is a really nice person and your attack was uncalled for.

Secondly, the original poster was looking for some words of support and kindness from all and your attack on Laura turned it on its head, no help for the OP (who also took a shot at Laura) and you tried to bring Laura down too - what purpose does that serve?

I actually live in Canada with my Husband, so I suppose in your opinion I shouldn't be posting at all, however, as Ron mentioned, you don't have to be a fish to swim and one can have empathy for others even though they might not be in an identical situation.

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

You know D&N, you did the OP a disservice with your posting. First off Laura is a really nice person and your attack was uncalled for.

Secondly, the original poster was looking for some words of support and kindness from all and your attack on Laura turned it on its head, no help for the OP (who also took a shot at Laura) and you tried to bring Laura down too - what purpose does that serve?

I actually live in Canada with my Husband, so I suppose in your opinion I shouldn't be posting at all, however, as Ron mentioned, you don't have to be a fish to swim and one can have empathy for others even though they might not be in an identical situation.

he's gone and done it now.....he's got them canadians all riled up. run for the hills!

[trailmix 77]

he's gone and done it now.....he's got them canadians all riled up. run for the hills!

We are hopped up on caffeine and scrappy

[Ron/Sharon 0]

he's gone and done it now.....he's got them canadians all riled up. run for the hills!

We are hopped up on caffeine and scrappy

[Nagishkaw 510]

I truly have a hard time having sympathy for people attacking other people with no reason...

It's not our fault if we are Canadian, the separation is hard nonetheless. I might be in the US now, but I went through my waiting period like everyone else, and waiting for a divorce to file for a K-1 isn't easy because you don't know when is it going to happen, knowing that the K-1 itself can take months on top of it.

That attack toward Laura was very uncalled for, and saying that anybody that hasn't file for a Visa doesn't know how hard is it is very rude for many VJ members, not everybody has the chance to start the visa whenever they feel like it. Some divorces can take years, and that is very painful too.

Call people Kanooks goes in the same direction as calling people Niggers or Gooks, it's very racist and it's a direct attack to a nationality or an ethnicity.

And to the OP: Caps Lock OFF...ya know, it's not necessary.

Was THAT necessary????

[Sinergy 3]

wow its VJ elementary again.........he/she is better than her/him so lets bash

[eric&gen 0]

Line up people lol its on lol.

[Mags 112]

Do I need to spank you all? Move on now, people, please. Ta very much.

[Toshtishtash 1]

Flippant shallow words from a married Kanook waiting for a K1. Wow, just what we need here. You have NO IDEA what waiting in limbo is like. Enjoy your journey, and don't apply your shallow experience to people who wait from across the world to be with the one they love.

To the one who posted: Yes, the frustration, waiting, and limbo take you down, some days more than others. I remember when we thought we would be done or almost done by now, when we filed the approval process only took 3-4 months, with another couple months to get through State. Now, we don't know when we will see each other again. I wish you and the ones like you the best, especially during the holidays. I know this, that the waiting and the distance and the uncertainty have somehow made us grow closer and stronger. When we get through this, I don't believe there is a more difficult experience or greater test of a marriage relationship.

Regards, and best to you

David and Nitadyah

Yep, we are all going through this...hang in there

btw, this should be in the off topic forum

DEAR DAVID THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. I THOUGHT THE KANOOK WAS SHALLOW TOO. BUT I'M SO DEPRESSED I THOUGHT IT WAS MAYBE ME BEING SENSITIVE. I SEE YOU ARE IN THE SAME BOAT AS ME. THERE IS COMFORT IN MISERY WHEN YOU FELL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.I WROTE MY POST WITHOUT READING THE TOPIC OF TODAY. THEREA ARE MANY DEPRESSED TODAY. I GUESS ITS BECAUSE THE BUSY TIMES OF THIS HOLIDAY ARE PAST NOW. AND NOW WE HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH OUR LOVED ONES ARE MISSED. I PRAY YOUR WAIT IS SHORTER THEN MINE. BY THE WAY THE KANOOK NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME WHAT A OFF TOPIC IS OR HOW TO FIND THEM.THANKS AGAIN. DEBBIE

You know what? My sympathy for the OP went RIGHT out of the window after this post. You came on a forum regarding immigration issues (Where EVERY single person is experiencing separation issues of some sort) and had a pop at someone for trying to express sympathy??? May I suggest you visit somewhere else?

D&N, you offended me. Why the hell do you think that your experience is any different? How is someone from Canada wishing the OP good will being shallow?? See above. Every single person on ths site is going through what you are. So ###### what if someone hasn't filed yet. What does that have to do with you? You do not know about anyones situation.

You really need to start looking at the bigger picture. Not just your own.

Some of you people really take the biscuit here. Yes, we get it...you're depressed. That does NOT, however, allow you to take it out on someone here for no damned reason...ESPECIALLY since others are trying to be nice.

And before ANYONE gets on the 'you're with a Brit and you can visit anytime'....keep in mind that I have not seen him since July 06. Am I taking it out on people here? NO. Am I crying about the wait? No. Yes, it sucks...but this was our choice to pursue, therefore we have to deal with the challenges we face. Is it my right to bring him here? No it is not...it is my privilege as an American citizen.

OP & everyone else not dealing well with the distance...I am sorry for your pain...I hope your situations improve and you are reunited with your loved ones. But for the Love of God, please turn off your caps lock and everyone please stop taking it out on people here. You're acting like petulant children.

AGREED!

I don't see other members on here making a big post about this long hard process crying about it so deal with it. I been through it but not biath complain about it or patience is the key. Tkae up a hobbie do something to keep you mind off it.

I actually agree completely...but I suppose different people have different ways of dealing with stuff. Me? I love my man with all of my heart, and there's not a moment of the day that he's not on my mind...but when I wake up in the morning (most days, heh)...I'm happy because it's a brand new beautiful day, we're all healthy & happy, and 'no one's shootin at us'.

We both have all the time in the world to do things that we're not going to have so much time for later....friends, hobbies, being workaholics, etc. I spend copious amts of time with my family, which I did not have for the years I lived with D. And he in turn gets the oppty to soak up everything UK....he follows his football team, hangs out with his m8s, spends time with his family. These are things he will not get once he's here...and I, for one, am glad that he has the time to do them while he can. So that once he gets here, the 'coulda shoulda woulda' factor will be as low as poss.

I truly suggest those who are having problems with the delay find ways to occupy their time. It will be a big help!

I know I mention this from time to time, but for me...I suppose my mindset is all chilly chill most of the time because of my life threatening injury that I sustained all those years ago. Fully recovering from that surgery after being told I had a 50/50 chance 'at best' at survival and summat like 75-80 chance of paralysis, I've learned not to 'sweat the little things'. Is this wait truly a 'little thing'? Well, not quite...BUT it pales in comparison to true strife in this world. IMO of course...but I remember the car ride home from the hospital. It was the worst traffic jam I'd seen in years! We were on the freeway for hours and everyone was angry and beeping their horns, and yelling. But to me, it was the most beautiful traffic jam ever...cos I thought I'd never see the outside of that hospital ever again.

It truly changed me as a person and taught me a lot about not getting worked up about a lot of stuff.

I also gain a lot of my strength from my relationship with God. I feel that all things come in their due time, so I trust in HIM to guide us through this in the way HE deems fit.

I dunno, hope this helps someone

It certainly helped me

Edited November 26, 2007 by toshtishtash

[Sister Fracas 5]

I love VJ