Wal-Mart

[radsr2002 0]

> In line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike

> behind him," My elbow

> hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

>

>

>

> "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of

> money," Mike replies. "There's

> a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it

> a urine sample and the

> computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do

> about it. It takes ten

> seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a

> doctor."

>

>

>

> So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and

> takes it to Wal-Mart. He

> deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and

> asks for the urine

> sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

> Ten seconds later, the

> computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow.

> Soak your arm in warm

> water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in

> two weeks." Thank you for

> shopping @ Wal-Mart.

>

>

>

> That evening while thinking how amazing this new

> technology was, Joe began

> wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed

> some tap water, a stool

> sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

> daughter, and a sperm

> sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to

> Wal-Mart, eager to check the

> results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his

> concoction, and awaits the

> results. The computer prints the following:

>

> 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water

> softener. (Aisle 9)

> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with

> anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into

> rehab.

> 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't

> yours. Get a lawyer.

> 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your

> elbow will never get

> better.

>

> Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

>

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

good advice

[Sheriff Uling 3]