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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

Nice !!!

I'll just add to that another picture of a 'hot' Russian woman!

post-17805-1203112795_thumb.jpg

K1 Visa Process long ago and far away...

02/09/06 - NOA1 date

12/17/06 - Married!

AOS Process a fading memory...

01/31/07 - Mailed AOS/EAD package for Olga and Anya

06/01/07 - Green card arrived in mail

Removing Conditions

03/02/09 - Mailed I-751 package (CSC)

03/06/09 - Check cashed

03/10/09 - Recieved Olga's NOA1

03/28/09 - Olga did biometrics

05/11/09 - Anya recieved NOA1 (took a call to USCIS to take care of it, oddly, they were helpful)

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted
Nice !!!

I'll just add to that another picture of a 'hot' Russian woman!

Hahahaha......... THAT photo I posted was my fiancee in her early law enforcement years. Boys....... shall I explain to Chuckles what is about to happen to him when Natalia reads his response (and read these she does).......... or should it be more of an "ignorance is bliss" kind of thing? :lol:

RUS.GIFNatalia & BuckUS1.GIF

May 02, 2007 - Petition Mailed to Nebraska Service Center (and then transferred to California Service Center)

May 29, 2007 - NOA1: K1

Sep 19, 2007 - NOA2: K1

Nov 02, 2007 - NVC Received Petition from CSC

Dec 13, 2007 - NVC Processing Completed; Petition forwarded to Moscow Consulate

Mar 03, 2008 - Moscow Interview Date: VISA APPROVED

Mar 06, 2008 - VISA's received in Omsk

Mar 24, 2008 - USA Arrival; HALLELUJAH !!!!

May 31, 2008 - MARRIED

Jun 17, 2008 - AOS, EAD, AP Filed - Natalia & Artem (17 yr-old son)

Jun 23, 2008 - NOA1: AOS, EAD, AP - Natalia & Artem

July 15, 2008 - Biometrics: AOS, EAD - Natalia & Artem

DISCLAIMER: ALL VIEWS EXPRESSED BY US ARE NOT INTENDED AS LEGAL ADVICE NOR DO THEY ESTABLISH AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

I thought that was Natalia!

Whenever I see pictures of Russian women in uniform I'm always intrigued, slightly turned on, and then scared!!!

I know what women here are capable of when they're pissed off but the women in the photos from Russia have real training in things like Kalashnikovs and hand grenades, knife fighting, judo, and there's been a female sniper or two from Russia.

That's why I've allied myself with that team now. Red Team GO!!!!

Русский форум член.

Ensure your beneficiary makes and brings with them to the States a copy of the DS-3025 (vaccination form)

If the government is going to force me to exercise my "right" to health care, then they better start requiring people to exercise their Right to Bear Arms. - "Where's my public option rifle?"

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

these are funny too... no, I did not take these pictures.

post-17805-1203205434_thumb.jpg

post-17805-1203205449_thumb.jpg

post-17805-1203205461_thumb.jpg

post-17805-1203205472_thumb.jpg

K1 Visa Process long ago and far away...

02/09/06 - NOA1 date

12/17/06 - Married!

AOS Process a fading memory...

01/31/07 - Mailed AOS/EAD package for Olga and Anya

06/01/07 - Green card arrived in mail

Removing Conditions

03/02/09 - Mailed I-751 package (CSC)

03/06/09 - Check cashed

03/10/09 - Recieved Olga's NOA1

03/28/09 - Olga did biometrics

05/11/09 - Anya recieved NOA1 (took a call to USCIS to take care of it, oddly, they were helpful)

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

Chuckles, those are awesome!

There are several funny captions for each photo. And OSHA, what's that?

Great pics, man!

Русский форум член.

Ensure your beneficiary makes and brings with them to the States a copy of the DS-3025 (vaccination form)

If the government is going to force me to exercise my "right" to health care, then they better start requiring people to exercise their Right to Bear Arms. - "Where's my public option rifle?"

  • 4 weeks later...
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted (edited)
Rescuing this thread from page 5 obscurity. Technically not Russian, but I think Ukraine counts close enough. Just who do we have to piss off to get Ukraine to invade?

2326909597_3852de4f75_o_d.jpg

However you feel about women in the military, note that these women are marching just like the men, but in high heels. :blink:

Original link here.

Whoa! :blink: those women crush our military women! No offense. How can the men get any work done? An interesting note. Their uniforms are all the same uniform. Uniformity. But their shoes are right out of some department store. Guess those aren't issued by the government. Interesting. Our U.S. military women have hideous regulation shoes. And their skirts are much longer. This can't be for real. Is this real?? I don't think anyone would fight these girls. The Ukraine should be ruling the world by now. :lol:

Notice the angle of photography the guy in the photo is taking. ;)

Edited by Jason-Sasha

22 Jun 05 - We met in a tiny bar in Williamsburg, Va. (spent all summer together)

27 May 06 - Sasha comes back for a 2nd glorious summer (spent 8 months apart)

01 Jan 07 - Jason travels to Moscow for 2 weeks with Sasha

27 May 07 - Jason again travels to Moscow for 2 weeks of perfection

14 July 07 - I-129F and all related documents sent to VSC

16 July 07 - I-129F delivered to VSC and signed for by P. Novak

20 July 07 - NOA1 issued / receipt number assigned

27 Sep 07 - Jason travels to Moscow to be with Sasha for 2 weeks

28 Nov 07 - NOA2 issued...TOUCHED!...then...APPROVED!!!

01 Dec 07 - NVC receives/assigns case #

04 Dec 07 - NVC sends case to U.S. Embassy Moscow

26 Dec 07 - Jason visits Sasha in Russia for the 4th and final time of 2007 :)

22 Feb 08 - Moscow Interview! (APPROVED!!!)..Yay!

24 Mar 08 - Sasha and Jason reunite in the U.S. :)

31 May 08 - Married

29 Dec 08- Alexander is born

11 Jan 10 - AOS / AP / EAD package sent

19 Jan 10 - AOS NOA1 / AP NOA1 / EAD NOA1

08 Feb 10 - AOS case transferred to CSC

16 Mar 10 - AP received

16 Mar 10 - AOS approved

19 Mar 10 - EAD received

22 Mar 10 - GC received

Filed: Timeline
Posted
Whoa! :blink: those women crush our military women! No offense. How can the men get any work done? An interesting note. Their uniforms are all the same uniform. Uniformity. But their shoes are right out of some department store. Guess those aren't issued by the government. Interesting. Our U.S. military women have hideous regulation shoes. And their skirts are much longer. This can't be for real. Is this real?? I don't think anyone would fight these girls. The Ukraine should be ruling the world by now. :lol:

Yeah...I wonder if they're some kind of auxiliary. And although we all know Ukrainian and Russian women are the most beautiful and shapely in the world, I'd have to think there'd be a certain percentage that just wouldn't look good in that uniform. I noticed they all had ponytails too. Wonder if long hair is a regulation? :) I'm just amazed that they could march in those shoes.

Notice the angle of photography the guy in the photo is taking. ;)

Heh, yeah that guy...he's a professional. :lol:

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

I wonder if those are the "morale officers" that I've heard so much about?

And seeing those girls, I can't help but remember the recruiting commercial where the guys pull up in the APC and the girls are all like, "Wow. Can we ditch this guy with the Beemer and come and ride on your BTR?" That's why Ukraine is not ruling the world yet.

And those tourism pics had me rolling! Not because they're really that funny but because they're really real. Even if they're staged for the internet, everyone's seen something like that in Russia every day.

Русский форум член.

Ensure your beneficiary makes and brings with them to the States a copy of the DS-3025 (vaccination form)

If the government is going to force me to exercise my "right" to health care, then they better start requiring people to exercise their Right to Bear Arms. - "Where's my public option rifle?"

Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted
Once again Doc Kirk, you sound like me.

After my divorce, I went from the popular guy, to... Well, I pretty much fell off the earth. Mostly because our friends, truly could not get used to me and the former apart. Still today, neither myself or the former have any of our "old" friends. We've had to make all new. It wasn't until I moved to Russia that my social status returned. Probably says a lot about me. I can see that I enjoy socializing as a couple far more than individually. And like you stated, I feel very comfortable alone when I'm alone. I don't have any need to go out. I'm fine watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn at home.

This subject is something I worry a bit for my Alla. The fact that she has her theatre background, she is used to being around "artsy" very social people. We have spoke about this many times. She told me she is wanting a change and really wants to concentrate on family. In her always interesting words, "Jeffery, I was in theatre because I had not a man in my life. I wanted excitement and not to be bored in my free time. But I have you now. I have my children. It will be enough" I do hope that she will not become overly bored here.

The doctor is in. :)

Again, I don't have the actual experience of living with my SO yet, so I'm short on practical advice. It could very well be that 6 months from now I'll be in your situation doing a search for this thread (photo thread...must remember photo thread!) to see what other people advised.

But I think it's pretty clear that she needs to figure out a way to broaden her social circle. Again, I don't know your wife, but I have a hard time buying that it's a choice she makes. Or at least not a choice she wants to make. If it were a choice then she'd have some level of resignation to it, but that's not what I see you describing. It sounds to me like she's coming up with a lot of excuses to not make friends, and that could be a symptom of anything from shyness to clinical, but is most likely something in between. I think it's up to you and her to figure it out. Nobody *wants* to be unhappy or lonely, but many of us cling to it when we've gone through something very life-changing. I used to be a real social butterfly until after my divorce. I holed up and didn't come out for a long time. I still have a difficult time making friends now and hanging out with people. I hate that I'm not as social as I used to be, but there is a strange comfort to it too.

Anway, my 2 kopeks. :)

OK..... any relationship advice I give probably borders on malpractice..... but here goes. Like Kirk and Jeffrey, I also fell off the face of the earth after my 19-year marriage. All our friends (with the exception of my to-the-death fraternity brothers) were "couple friends" and just did not know what to do with me as a "third-wheel" single. My former church friends, with the exception of one man that had been divorced, totally abandoned me now that I bore the scarlet "D" of divorce. If anything, I learned who my true friends were...... and were not.

With respect to my current relationship with Natalia, I knew going in that social isolation might be a problem once she arrived. Accordingly, I developed a long-range plan. Now Natalia is a special case because she is an upscale attorney in her country and had the money and freedom to visit me in the USA. During her USA visit, she met my family and did many social things with my former couple friends..... which felt more comfortable relating to me now that I was a couple again. Natalia also speaks english well which was invaluable in her being able to relate to my friends. After she returned to Russia, Natalia also had the means to afford monthly internet service. Webcam was a Godsend in more ways than the obvious. For the past year, Natalia has been speaking on webcam once a week with my children. Natalia also has been speaking on webcam maybe 30 minutes to an hour each day with my mother. My father passed away last year and Natalia and my mom have become very close. Natalia already feels like she has a strong connection with my family even before she comes here next month. Obviously, this required a strong financial and time commitment from Natalia. However, it was well worth it and the end result is that she is already 50% plugged-in before her foot ever touches USA soil.

When Natalia arrives next month, I plan on inviting our couple friends to our home for dinner at least 1 or 2 times each month. Natalia and I will also host parties at our home maybe once a quarter or every 6 months.

My couple friends were also intitially skeptical of Natalia and our relationship. However, most of the skepticism dissipated once they met her.

Now none of this pre-arrival plug-in advice helps Slim much. His wife is already here and already feels isolated whether by personal choice or outside circumstances. Nevertheless, here is my border-line malpractice relationship advice:

1. Get her english up to conversational level if it is not there already.

2. She does not like your friends? If they are mostly beer drinking buddies, then it is probably time to expand your frienship circle to include more couples.

3. She is a snob? I can't help you there if she is truly a snob and thinks your friends are low-class. If they are low-class then it is probably time to level-up. If they are not low-class, then there is probably something else going on. Communication problems due to poor english skills? One or more of your dude friends hitting on her? The USA wives treating her like a Russian scammer ######? You will need to figure this out.

4. Once you figure out what is really going on (See Step 3), then it's time to step up and host things at your home. I can relate if this is outside your comfort level. I was a litigation attorney for 15 years. Many people find me intimidating. My basic personality can not really be described as warm and fuzzy. I am not a social guy and relating to others, especially new people, is something of a chore for me. Anyway, that is my problem and I need to get past it.

5. She is bored and lonely when you are putting in the long work hours? DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. KG Sodie had some good advice here. Do more things, even very simple things, together.

6. Never underestimate the power of simple gestures to a Russian woman..... or any woman for that matter. Most Russian women like being presented with flowers. Every couple of weeks or so, buy a small $7 - $10 boquet at your local supermarket. Tell her frequently that you love her and that she is a "smoking-hot" babe. From your past posts, it sounds like she truly blossomed as a woman during the interim when you first met her and when she came to you in the USA. She got lots and lots of male attention it sounds like. Give her lots of compliments. Lay it on thick. What might seem a "bit much" to an american woman probably just barely scratches the surface with her.

OK...... that's probably more than enough for now. ;)

Good Luck :thumbs:

Buck

Divorced after 23 years, now married to a lovely Russian woman now almost 4 years, waiting for AOS and 10 year green card ( 11 months and 18 days) like Buck one of those attorneys that everyone loves to hate. Perhaps a thread on favorite attorney jokes for those who have used an immigration atty. for assistance? Anyhow for my two cents, adopt some Russian practices like taking your shoes off when you enter your house, apt. whatever. Find a Russian store in your neighborhood and shop together there. Not one close? Drive to the store, it will be a wonderful shared experience. Old friends common to my former wife dropped like flies, and I as others became my wife's sole focus. Admire the way she dresses up even though you ar just going to wal mart, and dress up some, not a coat and tie but some nice clothes to show how much you appreciate your wife's appearance, and to compliment her for doing the same. I would suggest never letting her lose sight of the dress code in Russia, and encourage her to always look her best when she goes out, because they always do. My wife has gone back to school and to brag on her a little, has mande the dean's list every semester. I tell her Bs are okay but in her mind, not for her. Find as many things in common that you can experience togther. Unfortunately, many of my outside interests don't coincide with what my wife likes, mostly, she like for me to be at home. Hug frequently, and always tell her how much you love her. Her support group of friends and family are a long way away and even with phone cards and internet are not readily accessible. Reading these posts reminds me of many of my shortcomings and if I can remember, will continue to be a more loving and demonstrative husband. It is a very tough transition for both parties. You will hear many times "In Russia we do things differently" and although I don't bite my tongue enough, it is best to not defend our practices, because frankly, they might not be better, or in many instances, worse than Russia. Never run Russia down. It is your wife's home country, and you should be proud of her for her roots, and her upbringing. You will be pleasantly surprised how competitive Russian women are in scholastics, and their desire to do their very best. No employer could ask to find a better more attentive employee that a professional Russian woman, or for that matter, a Russian woman employee. My wife has seen a Russian woman fully embrace the "American" lifestyle, who would not go back to Russia for a visit, and is somewhat disgusted with her. She has seen a good Russian fiancee sent back to Russia, and this dismays her to a degree. It was important for my wife to be married in a Russian Orthodox church and i was glad to accomdate her. After all this verbage, you will never be sorry you married a Russian woman after comparing your Russian wife to the selection we have here in the states. They are truly a pearl without price, and are caring, compassionate, and very attentive to their husband's needs. Best of luck to all.

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted
Once again Doc Kirk, you sound like me.

After my divorce, I went from the popular guy, to... Well, I pretty much fell off the earth. Mostly because our friends, truly could not get used to me and the former apart. Still today, neither myself or the former have any of our "old" friends. We've had to make all new. It wasn't until I moved to Russia that my social status returned. Probably says a lot about me. I can see that I enjoy socializing as a couple far more than individually. And like you stated, I feel very comfortable alone when I'm alone. I don't have any need to go out. I'm fine watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn at home.

This subject is something I worry a bit for my Alla. The fact that she has her theatre background, she is used to being around "artsy" very social people. We have spoke about this many times. She told me she is wanting a change and really wants to concentrate on family. In her always interesting words, "Jeffery, I was in theatre because I had not a man in my life. I wanted excitement and not to be bored in my free time. But I have you now. I have my children. It will be enough" I do hope that she will not become overly bored here.

The doctor is in. :)

Again, I don't have the actual experience of living with my SO yet, so I'm short on practical advice. It could very well be that 6 months from now I'll be in your situation doing a search for this thread (photo thread...must remember photo thread!) to see what other people advised.

But I think it's pretty clear that she needs to figure out a way to broaden her social circle. Again, I don't know your wife, but I have a hard time buying that it's a choice she makes. Or at least not a choice she wants to make. If it were a choice then she'd have some level of resignation to it, but that's not what I see you describing. It sounds to me like she's coming up with a lot of excuses to not make friends, and that could be a symptom of anything from shyness to clinical, but is most likely something in between. I think it's up to you and her to figure it out. Nobody *wants* to be unhappy or lonely, but many of us cling to it when we've gone through something very life-changing. I used to be a real social butterfly until after my divorce. I holed up and didn't come out for a long time. I still have a difficult time making friends now and hanging out with people. I hate that I'm not as social as I used to be, but there is a strange comfort to it too.

Anway, my 2 kopeks. :)

OK..... any relationship advice I give probably borders on malpractice..... but here goes. Like Kirk and Jeffrey, I also fell off the face of the earth after my 19-year marriage. All our friends (with the exception of my to-the-death fraternity brothers) were "couple friends" and just did not know what to do with me as a "third-wheel" single. My former church friends, with the exception of one man that had been divorced, totally abandoned me now that I bore the scarlet "D" of divorce. If anything, I learned who my true friends were...... and were not.

With respect to my current relationship with Natalia, I knew going in that social isolation might be a problem once she arrived. Accordingly, I developed a long-range plan. Now Natalia is a special case because she is an upscale attorney in her country and had the money and freedom to visit me in the USA. During her USA visit, she met my family and did many social things with my former couple friends..... which felt more comfortable relating to me now that I was a couple again. Natalia also speaks english well which was invaluable in her being able to relate to my friends. After she returned to Russia, Natalia also had the means to afford monthly internet service. Webcam was a Godsend in more ways than the obvious. For the past year, Natalia has been speaking on webcam once a week with my children. Natalia also has been speaking on webcam maybe 30 minutes to an hour each day with my mother. My father passed away last year and Natalia and my mom have become very close. Natalia already feels like she has a strong connection with my family even before she comes here next month. Obviously, this required a strong financial and time commitment from Natalia. However, it was well worth it and the end result is that she is already 50% plugged-in before her foot ever touches USA soil.

When Natalia arrives next month, I plan on inviting our couple friends to our home for dinner at least 1 or 2 times each month. Natalia and I will also host parties at our home maybe once a quarter or every 6 months.

My couple friends were also intitially skeptical of Natalia and our relationship. However, most of the skepticism dissipated once they met her.

Now none of this pre-arrival plug-in advice helps Slim much. His wife is already here and already feels isolated whether by personal choice or outside circumstances. Nevertheless, here is my border-line malpractice relationship advice:

1. Get her english up to conversational level if it is not there already.

2. She does not like your friends? If they are mostly beer drinking buddies, then it is probably time to expand your frienship circle to include more couples.

3. She is a snob? I can't help you there if she is truly a snob and thinks your friends are low-class. If they are low-class then it is probably time to level-up. If they are not low-class, then there is probably something else going on. Communication problems due to poor english skills? One or more of your dude friends hitting on her? The USA wives treating her like a Russian scammer ######? You will need to figure this out.

4. Once you figure out what is really going on (See Step 3), then it's time to step up and host things at your home. I can relate if this is outside your comfort level. I was a litigation attorney for 15 years. Many people find me intimidating. My basic personality can not really be described as warm and fuzzy. I am not a social guy and relating to others, especially new people, is something of a chore for me. Anyway, that is my problem and I need to get past it.

5. She is bored and lonely when you are putting in the long work hours? DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. KG Sodie had some good advice here. Do more things, even very simple things, together.

6. Never underestimate the power of simple gestures to a Russian woman..... or any woman for that matter. Most Russian women like being presented with flowers. Every couple of weeks or so, buy a small $7 - $10 boquet at your local supermarket. Tell her frequently that you love her and that she is a "smoking-hot" babe. From your past posts, it sounds like she truly blossomed as a woman during the interim when you first met her and when she came to you in the USA. She got lots and lots of male attention it sounds like. Give her lots of compliments. Lay it on thick. What might seem a "bit much" to an american woman probably just barely scratches the surface with her.

OK...... that's probably more than enough for now. ;)

Good Luck :thumbs:

Buck

Divorced after 23 years, now married to a lovely Russian woman now almost 4 years, waiting for AOS and 10 year green card ( 11 months and 18 days) like Buck one of those attorneys that everyone loves to hate. Perhaps a thread on favorite attorney jokes for those who have used an immigration atty. for assistance? Anyhow for my two cents, adopt some Russian practices like taking your shoes off when you enter your house, apt. whatever. Find a Russian store in your neighborhood and shop together there. Not one close? Drive to the store, it will be a wonderful shared experience. Old friends common to my former wife dropped like flies, and I as others became my wife's sole focus. Admire the way she dresses up even though you ar just going to wal mart, and dress up some, not a coat and tie but some nice clothes to show how much you appreciate your wife's appearance, and to compliment her for doing the same. I would suggest never letting her lose sight of the dress code in Russia, and encourage her to always look her best when she goes out, because they always do. My wife has gone back to school and to brag on her a little, has mande the dean's list every semester. I tell her Bs are okay but in her mind, not for her. Find as many things in common that you can experience togther. Unfortunately, many of my outside interests don't coincide with what my wife likes, mostly, she like for me to be at home. Hug frequently, and always tell her how much you love her. Her support group of friends and family are a long way away and even with phone cards and internet are not readily accessible. Reading these posts reminds me of many of my shortcomings and if I can remember, will continue to be a more loving and demonstrative husband. It is a very tough transition for both parties. You will hear many times "In Russia we do things differently" and although I don't bite my tongue enough, it is best to not defend our practices, because frankly, they might not be better, or in many instances, worse than Russia. Never run Russia down. It is your wife's home country, and you should be proud of her for her roots, and her upbringing. You will be pleasantly surprised how competitive Russian women are in scholastics, and their desire to do their very best. No employer could ask to find a better more attentive employee that a professional Russian woman, or for that matter, a Russian woman employee. My wife has seen a Russian woman fully embrace the "American" lifestyle, who would not go back to Russia for a visit, and is somewhat disgusted with her. She has seen a good Russian fiancee sent back to Russia, and this dismays her to a degree. It was important for my wife to be married in a Russian Orthodox church and i was glad to accomdate her. After all this verbage, you will never be sorry you married a Russian woman after comparing your Russian wife to the selection we have here in the states. They are truly a pearl without price, and are caring, compassionate, and very attentive to their husband's needs. Best of luck to all.

Sounds like you hit the jackpot with your Russian wife. Congratulations. Your essay is well stated and good advice for us lucky guys who found our dream Russian woman. Your words have a touch of the poetic too. Nicely done. Your story sounds similar to mine. I was married for 22 years to an American woman. I've been looking for an FSU bride for about 4 years and I married my wife last year in Russia. We're waiting for that allusive CR-1 visa to be coughed up from Uncle Sam's belly. I did not know time could move this slowly!

My only issue with your piece is it's too all inclusive and, of course, not all Russian women are the same. There are regional differences and personality differences and so forth. There are the city girls and the village girls...often with different views of the world and how to be a wife.

And for all the "gold" we can attribute to the Russian woman, they, like us all, have a shadow side. i think some of them have money issues and are somewhat materialistic...but maybe for understandable reasons. Some have an over-active mothering instinct which I find annoying at times. Some Russian women have "father issues" from being abandoned or mistreated by their alcoholic or shiftless dads. And many Russian women have had lousy marriages to Russian men...often more than one. I've seen these issues show up as anger, and it's tricky to dance with that energy sometimes...especially to stay grounded and not return the anger. Some of us American men may ultimately have to deal with these deeper issues in some form or another down the road. And, personally, I've dated a few Russian women I'd just as soon forget and who were unpleasant to be around.

But the essence of what you outline in your essay is accurate when it comes to my Russian wife...thank goodness! I also hit the jackpot.

Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted
Once again Doc Kirk, you sound like me.

After my divorce, I went from the popular guy, to... Well, I pretty much fell off the earth. Mostly because our friends, truly could not get used to me and the former apart. Still today, neither myself or the former have any of our "old" friends. We've had to make all new. It wasn't until I moved to Russia that my social status returned. Probably says a lot about me. I can see that I enjoy socializing as a couple far more than individually. And like you stated, I feel very comfortable alone when I'm alone. I don't have any need to go out. I'm fine watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn at home.

This subject is something I worry a bit for my Alla. The fact that she has her theatre background, she is used to being around "artsy" very social people. We have spoke about this many times. She told me she is wanting a change and really wants to concentrate on family. In her always interesting words, "Jeffery, I was in theatre because I had not a man in my life. I wanted excitement and not to be bored in my free time. But I have you now. I have my children. It will be enough" I do hope that she will not become overly bored here.

The doctor is in. :)

Again, I don't have the actual experience of living with my SO yet, so I'm short on practical advice. It could very well be that 6 months from now I'll be in your situation doing a search for this thread (photo thread...must remember photo thread!) to see what other people advised.

But I think it's pretty clear that she needs to figure out a way to broaden her social circle. Again, I don't know your wife, but I have a hard time buying that it's a choice she makes. Or at least not a choice she wants to make. If it were a choice then she'd have some level of resignation to it, but that's not what I see you describing. It sounds to me like she's coming up with a lot of excuses to not make friends, and that could be a symptom of anything from shyness to clinical, but is most likely something in between. I think it's up to you and her to figure it out. Nobody *wants* to be unhappy or lonely, but many of us cling to it when we've gone through something very life-changing. I used to be a real social butterfly until after my divorce. I holed up and didn't come out for a long time. I still have a difficult time making friends now and hanging out with people. I hate that I'm not as social as I used to be, but there is a strange comfort to it too.

Anway, my 2 kopeks. :)

OK..... any relationship advice I give probably borders on malpractice..... but here goes. Like Kirk and Jeffrey, I also fell off the face of the earth after my 19-year marriage. All our friends (with the exception of my to-the-death fraternity brothers) were "couple friends" and just did not know what to do with me as a "third-wheel" single. My former church friends, with the exception of one man that had been divorced, totally abandoned me now that I bore the scarlet "D" of divorce. If anything, I learned who my true friends were...... and were not.

With respect to my current relationship with Natalia, I knew going in that social isolation might be a problem once she arrived. Accordingly, I developed a long-range plan. Now Natalia is a special case because she is an upscale attorney in her country and had the money and freedom to visit me in the USA. During her USA visit, she met my family and did many social things with my former couple friends..... which felt more comfortable relating to me now that I was a couple again. Natalia also speaks english well which was invaluable in her being able to relate to my friends. After she returned to Russia, Natalia also had the means to afford monthly internet service. Webcam was a Godsend in more ways than the obvious. For the past year, Natalia has been speaking on webcam once a week with my children. Natalia also has been speaking on webcam maybe 30 minutes to an hour each day with my mother. My father passed away last year and Natalia and my mom have become very close. Natalia already feels like she has a strong connection with my family even before she comes here next month. Obviously, this required a strong financial and time commitment from Natalia. However, it was well worth it and the end result is that she is already 50% plugged-in before her foot ever touches USA soil.

When Natalia arrives next month, I plan on inviting our couple friends to our home for dinner at least 1 or 2 times each month. Natalia and I will also host parties at our home maybe once a quarter or every 6 months.

My couple friends were also intitially skeptical of Natalia and our relationship. However, most of the skepticism dissipated once they met her.

Now none of this pre-arrival plug-in advice helps Slim much. His wife is already here and already feels isolated whether by personal choice or outside circumstances. Nevertheless, here is my border-line malpractice relationship advice:

1. Get her english up to conversational level if it is not there already.

2. She does not like your friends? If they are mostly beer drinking buddies, then it is probably time to expand your frienship circle to include more couples.

3. She is a snob? I can't help you there if she is truly a snob and thinks your friends are low-class. If they are low-class then it is probably time to level-up. If they are not low-class, then there is probably something else going on. Communication problems due to poor english skills? One or more of your dude friends hitting on her? The USA wives treating her like a Russian scammer ######? You will need to figure this out.

4. Once you figure out what is really going on (See Step 3), then it's time to step up and host things at your home. I can relate if this is outside your comfort level. I was a litigation attorney for 15 years. Many people find me intimidating. My basic personality can not really be described as warm and fuzzy. I am not a social guy and relating to others, especially new people, is something of a chore for me. Anyway, that is my problem and I need to get past it.

5. She is bored and lonely when you are putting in the long work hours? DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. KG Sodie had some good advice here. Do more things, even very simple things, together.

6. Never underestimate the power of simple gestures to a Russian woman..... or any woman for that matter. Most Russian women like being presented with flowers. Every couple of weeks or so, buy a small $7 - $10 boquet at your local supermarket. Tell her frequently that you love her and that she is a "smoking-hot" babe. From your past posts, it sounds like she truly blossomed as a woman during the interim when you first met her and when she came to you in the USA. She got lots and lots of male attention it sounds like. Give her lots of compliments. Lay it on thick. What might seem a "bit much" to an american woman probably just barely scratches the surface with her.

OK...... that's probably more than enough for now. ;)

Good Luck :thumbs:

Buck

Divorced after 23 years, now married to a lovely Russian woman now almost 4 years, waiting for AOS and 10 year green card ( 11 months and 18 days) like Buck one of those attorneys that everyone loves to hate. Perhaps a thread on favorite attorney jokes for those who have used an immigration atty. for assistance? Anyhow for my two cents, adopt some Russian practices like taking your shoes off when you enter your house, apt. whatever. Find a Russian store in your neighborhood and shop together there. Not one close? Drive to the store, it will be a wonderful shared experience. Old friends common to my former wife dropped like flies, and I as others became my wife's sole focus. Admire the way she dresses up even though you ar just going to wal mart, and dress up some, not a coat and tie but some nice clothes to show how much you appreciate your wife's appearance, and to compliment her for doing the same. I would suggest never letting her lose sight of the dress code in Russia, and encourage her to always look her best when she goes out, because they always do. My wife has gone back to school and to brag on her a little, has mande the dean's list every semester. I tell her Bs are okay but in her mind, not for her. Find as many things in common that you can experience togther. Unfortunately, many of my outside interests don't coincide with what my wife likes, mostly, she like for me to be at home. Hug frequently, and always tell her how much you love her. Her support group of friends and family are a long way away and even with phone cards and internet are not readily accessible. Reading these posts reminds me of many of my shortcomings and if I can remember, will continue to be a more loving and demonstrative husband. It is a very tough transition for both parties. You will hear many times "In Russia we do things differently" and although I don't bite my tongue enough, it is best to not defend our practices, because frankly, they might not be better, or in many instances, worse than Russia. Never run Russia down. It is your wife's home country, and you should be proud of her for her roots, and her upbringing. You will be pleasantly surprised how competitive Russian women are in scholastics, and their desire to do their very best. No employer could ask to find a better more attentive employee that a professional Russian woman, or for that matter, a Russian woman employee. My wife has seen a Russian woman fully embrace the "American" lifestyle, who would not go back to Russia for a visit, and is somewhat disgusted with her. She has seen a good Russian fiancee sent back to Russia, and this dismays her to a degree. It was important for my wife to be married in a Russian Orthodox church and i was glad to accomdate her. After all this verbage, you will never be sorry you married a Russian woman after comparing your Russian wife to the selection we have here in the states. They are truly a pearl without price, and are caring, compassionate, and very attentive to their husband's needs. Best of luck to all.

Sounds like you hit the jackpot with your Russian wife. Congratulations. Your essay is well stated and good advice for us lucky guys who found our dream Russian woman. Your words have a touch of the poetic too. Nicely done. Your story sounds similar to mine. I was married for 22 years to an American woman. I've been looking for an FSU bride for about 4 years and I married my wife last year in Russia. We're waiting for that allusive CR-1 visa to be coughed up from Uncle Sam's belly. I did not know time could move this slowly!

My only issue with your piece is it's too all inclusive and, of course, not all Russian women are the same. There are regional differences and personality differences and so forth. There are the city girls and the village girls...often with different views of the world and how to be a wife.

And for all the "gold" we can attribute to the Russian woman, they, like us all, have a shadow side. i think some of them have money issues and are somewhat materialistic...but maybe for understandable reasons. Some have an over-active mothering instinct which I find annoying at times. Some Russian women have "father issues" from being abandoned or mistreated by their alcoholic or shiftless dads. And many Russian women have had lousy marriages to Russian men...often more than one. I've seen these issues show up as anger, and it's tricky to dance with that energy sometimes...especially to stay grounded and not return the anger. Some of us American men may ultimately have to deal with these deeper issues in some form or another down the road. And, personally, I've dated a few Russian women I'd just as soon forget and who were unpleasant to be around.

But the essence of what you outline in your essay is accurate when it comes to my Russian wife...thank goodness! I also hit the jackpot.

First my congratulations! It is tough to go from one relationship to another, especially if you have developed a comfort zone in your prior relationship as to the way you lead your life. Nothing prepares you for the new bride. As you stated a difference of rural urban attititudes, my wife comes from a large city and thinks my city of 1,000,000 plus is a village. She hates the fact that there is no downtown night life etc. The other Russian I dated was from a small city and markedly different. And I think that it is tough to generalize, and we can only speak form the perspective of our experience, and mine bleesedly was short. As I think of tother tidbits that come to the forefront of my current relationship I will pass them on, they probably do not apply to all or even any, but give a foretaste perhaps of what is to come. Russian TV helps keep that touch to the Rodina, but no Russian soil, no birch or pine trees start to weigh heavily after awhile. I wish we could just wave a magic wand and presto chango we would acclimate our brides to the new world, unfortunately or perhaps even fortunately that doesn't happen and we are probably the better for it. I would say that the one thing I notice the most is homesickness. There are quite a few Russian women here, and they seem to be coping well, some are brides some stayed over and married after college, but you do hear a few rumblings about the states and Americans in general. My wife was shocked to see a woman going to a chain restaurant in warmups, but to me, I saw nothing unusual.

 
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