> Corporate Lessons in Business>

[almaty 19]

Corporate Lessons in Business

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing

up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps

herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,

there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word,

Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking

for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front

of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was what?"

"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the

husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information

pertaining to credit or risk with your shareholders in time,

you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed

her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly

had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid

his hand up her leg. The nun said, " Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand

slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember

Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the

church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,

"Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job,

you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager

are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil

lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,

"I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first, Me first!" says

the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,

without a care in the world. " Poof! She's gone."

"Me next, Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in

Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless

supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. "Poof! He's

gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The

manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all

day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do

nothing all day long? "The crow answered, "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and

rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing

nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be

able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the

turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't

you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients.

"The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave

him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the

second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was

proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was

spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullsh!t might get you to

the top, but it won't keep you there.

Edited November 21, 2007 by almaty

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Very true! And funny! Good post!

[Nessa 23]

nice

[~krakatoa~ 27]

Great post!

[Sister Fracas 5]

good stuff!! hehehehe