I may have to go back to Canada and refile as a K3

[Doug n Amanda 0]

heh I guess nothing.

My MIL is forcing my husband to apologize to his brother tonight.

I don't foresee my son getting an apology. Nope.

Apparently his brother has "A right to be angry because he never asked for my son to live here"

Argh. Everything makes me SO angry.

Ok, so YOUR son didn't ask for any of this either!!! He has a new school, a new house (not home, nothing in this story comes close to resembling a home), and a new "Dad".....take one thing as a positive from your MIL: stand up for your son in the same fashion she does...and when she expresses her "displeasure", tell her you're merely learning from HER. I can understand your family's concern; I feel it myself. No matter how hyper this precious little boy is, he in no way should be subjected to something that could cause him irrepairable emotional scars. Not to mention, the more they make an issue of this, the more your son is going to act out...it's a vicious circle.

Sorry, not meaning to push my opinions, but you are absolutely right....get out of there at ANY cost, sweetie. You and your son aren't safe!!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sweetheart,

I've been so self-absorbed with my own chite that I missed your post. I cannot tell you how sorry I am you're going through this. FKKKKK the 23 year old.... THREATENING A CHILD???????? #######???? This is indeed a reason for concern. Now, here goes my putting my nose where it shouldn't go, but hope it helps: can your husband get some sort of social assistance for himself? If he is not able to work right now (which I migh be wrongly assuming and if so, please forgive me). This way you can access all sorts of services, INCLUDING HOUSING.

I know we as LPRs are not / should not use Social Assistance; but that doesn't apply to our partners.

I am really so very sorry this is going as is. We're here for you babe.

Love you tons, Lenina.

[Sprailenes 47]

Thanks everyone.

My husband works at a design firm in Philadelphia, we have the money to move into a place, but we were hoping to save up for a good place close to my son's school. We didn't want to make him switch schools again. My husband had lived on his own until he decided to move to Canada a few years ago, he stayed for two years, no job, no visa (what were we thinking?) and he came back down. He had to start from square one again, find a new job, move back home. That's why he's here now. So a year and some after he leaves Canada, I moved down here. He hadn't moved out yet because we had agreed to wait until I too had started working again so we could find a decent home nearby.

Well we had a family talk a few days ago, and we all talked and told each other how we felt.

I wouldn't say everything is better. My husband asked that we wait it out and see if we can hold off until after Christmas to get a place. I agreed. We want to wait to find something close by so my son doesn't have to switch schools. But I also want my son to be safe.

I don't know. I am all about giving people chances. I want to like people, including in-laws. I don't like disliking people.

Of course, I know this could go either way, it's either going to be good or bad.

The important thing is, we all talked about it and came to an agreement...for now.

I feel like a push over in a way though. Like, "Oh okay, we'll keep trying to make everything happy here!"

i used to have more spark...really.

[Doug n Amanda 0]

I don't know. I am all about giving people chances. I want to like people, including in-laws. I don't like disliking people.

Of course, I know this could go either way, it's either going to be good or bad.

The important thing is, we all talked about it and came to an agreement...for now.

I feel like a push over in a way though. Like, "Oh okay, we'll keep trying to make everything happy here!"

i used to have more spark...really.

Compromise is what love is all about; if it's in the best interest of your family (extended included), then do what you have to do....but one thing's for sure - don't leave your son alone with the BIL, too unpredictable!

You still have spark, hon, moving to a strange place can take the wind out of anyone! I know firsthand...and I also know you'll dig down and find it when you need it! God Bless!

[Earmuffs 1]

My husband had lived on his own until he decided to move to Canada a few years ago, he stayed for two years, no job, no visa (what were we thinking?) and he came back down. He had to start from square one again, find a new job, move back home,

we are in the same boat. Minus the crazy in laws. My wife came up to canada the same way for a year.. and YES WHAT WERE WE THINKING..

[trailmix 77]

My husband had lived on his own until he decided to move to Canada a few years ago, he stayed for two years, no job, no visa (what were we thinking?) and he came back down. He had to start from square one again, find a new job, move back home,

we are in the same boat. Minus the crazy in laws. My wife came up to canada the same way for a year.. and YES WHAT WERE WE THINKING..

Aww you guys were just thinking that you want to be together You know, until you are in the immigration process thinking the OTHER way is the norm. We are married/engaged therefore we live in the same place.

It's just the immigration process that turn 'normal' on its head.

Anyway sprailenes, you are still in a tough situation, I know, although you had a chat and things are smoothed over a bit, I'm sure the tension is still there, at least for you.

It kind of goes back to the 'what were we thinking' thing, sometimes you do things a certain way because it seems right at the time - in this case you will look back in 5 years, on living with the extended family and say 'what were we thinking'

But if that is what is right for your family right now, it's the way it is. All you can do is try and at least now you have examined some other options so that if need be and it proves to be too much for all of you, you can high tail it out of there.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

The spark is within you sister. Don't despair. Things will get better.

[Sprailenes 47]

Thanks.

I think they will get better too.

I think we've all been living together since September and no one has communicated any problems with each other. I don't think his brother knew just how immature he was being. I would never ever leave my son alone with him though. Even though right now he's being nice, I don't trust him at all. I probably never will. I can't take that chance with my son.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Thanks.

I think they will get better too.

I think we've all been living together since September and no one has communicated any problems with each other. I don't think his brother knew just how immature he was being. I would never ever leave my son alone with him though. Even though right now he's being nice, I don't trust him at all. I probably never will. I can't take that chance with my son.

You are absolutely right! Live in peace and try to get out when you can, in the best possible terms. My heart goes out to you and..... [[[passing some candies to son]]]] he he

L.

[Carlawarla 1]

I've been away since just before Thanksgiving and just read this thread now. How heartbreaking this story has been! I'm so glad you came here Sprailenes to talk about what was going on and progress or lack of during this time. I'm so glad to hear how you handled this as well. You have my heartfelt empathy for what you and your son have endured, and you've handled everything so well. Obviously his family needs to take a look at how you've handled everything to know what maturity is about. I'm glad you're soon to be out of there.

Hugs,

Carla