Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

a dat mi a seh tuh...look from when..battimaism illegal a JA...

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

I would've thought that true for quite some time now.

So, what.....They apply for some sort of assylum in Canada or other countries? Interesting.

Hee.....hee, Jengles on the death comment.

I also loved generalizations in general that YW said earlier.

You both made me smile.

when mi deh yah so grammar no count..a just dso it role off di brain....

GRAMAH wah name so...Kimmy you know wah di ENGLISH teach dem call JOINUP...tell mi no

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Lol VJ nuh easy, dem edit di word out true mi bold it

[sus 70]

Kimmy

try this and see if u can keep it down

Ummmmmmmm - it wasn't meant as advice for Kimmy - obviously it wouldn't sit well. But if I am not mistaken, there was a discussion of how people loved Ramen noodles and thought someone else might like the recipe

[brownnskinn 0]

A lady on my job called herself telling on me about being on the internet. My boss told me to watch my back. She doesn't care because she knows my work ethnics but still....doesn't that lady knows snitches get stitches

I sneak on a few times a day and during my lunch hour.

No!! you are a mess

[*JG* 2]

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

a deddddddddddddddd....dem seh Jamaica is indigenously homophobic...... :lol:

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

I would've thought that true for quite some time now.

So, what.....They apply for some sort of ###ylum in Canada or other countries? Interesting.

Hee.....hee, Jengles on the death comment.

I also loved generalizations in general that YW said earlier.

You both made me smile.

hahahha dat mek mi laff, a REALLY ASSylum fi tru

WTH????? Does the system automatically ### it out when I write that word? Guess I never wrote it on here before or never noticed.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

a dat mi a seh tuh...look from when..battimaism illegal a JA...

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

I would've thought that true for quite some time now.

So, what.....They apply for some sort of assylum in Canada or other countries? Interesting.

Hee.....hee, Jengles on the death comment.

I also loved generalizations in general that YW said earlier.

You both made me smile.

when mi deh yah so grammar no count..a just so it role off di brain....

GRAMAH wah name so...Kimmy you know wah di ENGLISH teach dem call JOINUP...tell mi no

ahaha..which teacher a muss some JA teacher bout joinup...hahahaaa..anyting wah role off di brain pon paper a joinup dat...

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

a deddddddddddddddd....dem seh Jamaica is indigenously homophobic...... :lol:

Trelawny.....tell us about the police officer. I missed it.

JG,

A friend a mine pinch mi a seh this a new thing a yard now (it's been under the wire), but they saying Jamaica is not a safe place for a gay man to live, so the seeking asylum in other countries....mi naw touch dat one.

and is now they find that out

I would've thought that true for quite some time now.

So, what.....They apply for some sort of ###ylum in Canada or other countries? Interesting.

Hee.....hee, Jengles on the death comment.

I also loved generalizations in general that YW said earlier.

You both made me smile.

hahahha dat mek mi laff, a REALLY ASSylum fi tru

Cho bbcllattt u mek mi DASH WEH MI food pon the floor a read dat deh one an a laugh...dwllllllllllll

[Jengles 0]

JG..mi get wah u a seh..but my husband would never i don't have to tell him..jeopardize his job cause a smoking...di one thing mi nearly kill him fah a smoke during immigration process cause he felt 2mths before would be fine..who knows it probably would have been or could have not but we made a decision to reschedule..those partying and stuff is single life he knows as a husband and a father that it wouldn't work..i didn't have to go over that with him..and if i HAD to we wouldn't be married still...he is very responsible with money so again can't comment on that..all these things if they were an issue for us they would have been dealth with before we said i do.."honey we need to work on a couple of issue.behaviours i see that will make our lives worse instead of better" and we would go from there

Mek mi juss play devils advocate fi a minute. Say he parties and does the whole single thing...you talk about it and he knows that he can't do that after marriage but you are alright with it now because he is single and all. So you think to yourself "alright the man knows that once we are married that has to stop." You get married and the mister decides that he doesn't want to stop or sees no reason to stop. You thought that the issue had been resolved, you talked about it and came to an agreement but it changed after you got married and it was time to step up and do it and not just talk about it. See what I mean? Some things you just can't deal with until they happen and they are in your face.

That's what I was getting at, YW.

I've heard that very story over and over again. And, each and every one of the things I mentioned have been said by someone within the last two years that I have been on here or the other JA site I've frequented.

I don't ever agre on picking on the way he dresses or that he smokes or anything of that petty kind. Yes, you accepted it before and it is wrong to pick on it now. But big things, if he doesn't change because of the marriage CAN cause some issues. And, those are things you cannot get down pat before you marry. You can talk till you are blue in the face and everyone agrees all the way around; but experiencing some things is the only way to fully understand them and what you really would do in the situation.

I know what you are saying, Kimmy, and I say you are very lucky. There are others out there who are not so lucky.

right, reality for some of us, we are married but our spouses lived in different countries and our lives might change a little bit but not a lot, so even though we are married we can still live like we are single to a certain extent, i mean the partying not involving other people. I've had my friends call me saying live mr jengles at home and come out with us,and is mi have to tell them no, didn't even bring it to him. i prefer for us to go out together, not saying we are attached at the hip.

but in certain things i checked what he was doing before we got married, so it wouldn't even be an issue later. i.e. my sons father parties to this day, mi could a never deal with dat until now.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Kimmy

try this and see if u can keep it down

Ummmmmmmm - it wasn't meant as advice for Kimmy - obviously it wouldn't sit well. But if I am not mistaken, there was a discussion of how people loved Ramen noodles and thought someone else might like the recipe

no tek it no way sus...everybody a try feed mi casue mi look like a blasted crack

[brownnskinn 0]

Great topics I'll post my experince soon.

But I have question - Is there anything your SO won't do in the house?

Damien and I share the housework. We both clean and do our own laundry. I do majority of the cooking. My daughter does the dishes. However, the first year we lived together he would get so upset when I asked him to take the trash out. I mean we would get into huge drag out fights over the trash....our neighbors knocked on the door once because we were too loud. It wasn't like I woke him up in the middle of the night to take it out or anything like that. He would simply get upset because I asked him....the nerve of me.

be right back...

Same here....I think he thought I was putting him down Now it's the nine year old job to tek out the trash. Also he won't clean the toilets.

[Marlita 0]

My girl...I AGREE 100% (we BOTH have lives)...you know what my grandmother always tell me. No, (NONE) marriage or relationship will every be perfect or without faults, but in order to make it work (and a lot of people don't agree with this) ONE PERSON HAS TO LOVE THE OTHER PERSON more. I hear people say that a lot, but mi nevah fully understand it. The way I was thought to make a relationship work is to give 50% and expect 50% back (with my experiences) that never worked.

COMPROMISE (what a pretty word) but what does it really mean. When I was going through counseling with my son's father I must have heard that word 20 times for the session.

Lawny yuh granny smart fi tru! There is no 50/50. It is usually always off balance, yet people strive for this 50/50 thing which ends up drivng them crazy or creating resentment and such. If you are always on the lower end of the spectrum then there needs to be some talk. But its so true that one person has to love the other person more. If both people think this way its a really good set-up. I hear alot of older and wiser couples say this ALL the time! And they been married for years so I assume they know what they chat bout.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

mi a go mek miself a meez tuh..english and lita mi like oonuh meez dem

[brownnskinn 0]

yup, he is who he is, always remember that, and men ususally tell u what they are about in the first week of the relationship, we as women tend not to listen. but that is a next topic

So very true

[Marlita 0]

All good points Kimmy and I agree.

Even with that being said, though, there are still some things that don't fit that mold.

Say, he's in Jamaica and goes out every night with his friends to the clubs. How would you deal with him wanting to do that after he moves in with you and the kids? And, say it's before he gets a job and it's okay with you. But, after he finds a job, he wants to continue and it effects his job?

What if he likes to drink and smoke on his time off and it gets to be too close to the time he's got to be at his job? He used to do it in JA; but you didn't say anything cause he took a cab. Now, he drives?

Or in Jamaica, he had cash in his pocket and it burned a hole every day he had it. Now, you need him to contribute to the household. What do you do?

I've heard of all these issues coming up. That is some of the points I think of when I think of change. Adaptation, compromise.....most solutions to the above would modify behaviors.

Well heck! All these issues you stated are red flags that somethings gonna go down if you ask me. So I see those issues and being a problem in the long run. If the man been acting that way ALL along, why you all of a sudden expect him to change JUST because he put a ring on your finger. His thought pattern doesnt instantly know how to stop doing those things. yes he should modify his behavior once he gets a job, or drives, or has kids, but you should also be aware that those past "behaviours", WILL follow him into his marriage. And if you were not ready for them, then you were not paying attention in the first place.

Of course i'm not talking specifially to you JG.

[Jengles 0]

Kimmy

try this and see if u can keep it down

Ummmmmmmm - it wasn't meant as advice for Kimmy - obviously it wouldn't sit well. But if I am not mistaken, there was a discussion of how people loved Ramen noodles and thought someone else might like the recipe

no tek it no way sus...everybody a try feed mi casue mi look like a blasted crack

don't know Sus, could be the only thing that work for her