Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

agreed, but do u think he will sign the divorce?? hope it doesn't go that route

Depending on why she wants the divorce, ie, unreasonable behaviour, infidelity etc, she may be able to divorce him anyway...

[Jengles 0]

agreed, but do u think he will sign the divorce?? hope it doesn't go that route

Depending on why she wants the divorce, ie, unreasonable behaviour, infidelity etc, she may be able to divorce him anyway...

just think of the ways u can apply this to a yard man

[Yaads 0]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

I think Kimmy is talking about stuff like say him being a womanizer or certain character traits....There will ALWAYS be stuff you couldn't know about him....I think she's saying that some women look at the man before marriage, see how he is but once they're married, they want him to stop the stuff he's always done....

[Jengles 0]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

i agree with both of your statements, I know women who do think marriage will change a man, but if you've been with a man for two or three years andhave already accepted certain things, marriage isn't going to change that.

and yes Yardie marriage is a lot of work, especially when u are both trying to make it work, if u have lived with someone before than there are certain issues that can be addressed up front but every relationship is different and what wasn't an issue in one relationship can be a huge issue in another

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Even'in Ladies;

I just wanted to thank ya'll for helping me with my school work that was assigned to me 4 weeks ago. I had no idea what to write about for my lifestyle/sociology class. I don't know who started the topic today or how it got started on marriage, relationship, sharing duties as a couple, but thank you. I came here for immigration guidance and well now I'm speechless, the WEALTH of information you get from people you've never met. Thanks again.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hey guys! I have so much reading to catch up on.

Drama in the life.

I asked about the divorce because that may be what happens with me.. gross and heartbreaking..but maybe not needed.

There are some questions that still need to be answered and I need to do some searching within myself.

I may be a southern woman..but what most people dont know is that behind that sugary drawl and ladylikeness is a girl that was raised in the south learnin how to fight and knowing how she should be treated. Southern women (most women..not just us) dont settle. no sir.

My best friend is a lawyer and researched the case for me just incase I need it. Yes, I can get a divorce here no matter where I was married and where he is a citizen, the other party just has to sign the divorce stuff in front of a notary/jp. incase anyone ever wants to know.

I covet your prayers at this moment!

Thanks guys!!

i wish you the best!! make sure whatever decision you come to is for you and your well being....

agreed, but do u think he will sign the divorce?? hope it doesn't go that route

Jengs,

Fi mi sitah husband never sign nothing and she get the divorce same way. Her divorce was finalized, it just tek a little longer. She had to get either get something from Jamaica or file something in Jamaica at the registery office dat show seh she no married to the JOHN'CROW no more. Mi figet wah dem call eeh

[*SunRay* 1]

nope...well I had some ramen noodles a few mins a go and nothing yet...not tooting my own horn ..but maybe ramen noodles will be my breakfast lucn hdinner now...we'll see

Good luck. My cousin swears by ramen noodles. If you tell you have a hangover...she'll make noodles....if have gas...eat noodles...if your belly aches...eat noodles...

Ramen noodles are good for so many things! For only $0.14 a pack you can't go wrong

I agree they are really good. I love the chili flavor which is so hard to find. The one negative is that they are VERY HIGH in sodium.

[Yaads 0]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

I think Kimmy is talking about stuff like say him being a womanizer or certain character traits....There will ALWAYS be stuff you couldn't know about him....I think she's saying that some women look at the man before marriage, see how he is but once they're married, they want him to stop the stuff he's always done....

Yeah I probably personalized more than most people. It is a touchy subject for me

[Yaads 0]

and yes Yardie marriage is a lot of work, especially when u are both trying to make it work, if u have lived with someone before than there are certain issues that can be addressed up front but every relationship is different and what wasn't an issue in one relationship can be a huge issue in another

Which is why generalizations don't tend to work very well. There is always going to be the pot that breaks the mold.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

I think Kimmy is talking about stuff like say him being a womanizer or certain character traits....There will ALWAYS be stuff you couldn't know about him....I think she's saying that some women look at the man before marriage, see how he is but once they're married, they want him to stop the stuff he's always done....

Agree..that's what I was saying..

OK..let me say something..when i speak here I do not mean anyting personal b/c of the fact that I do not know u guys personally..so if anything is taken the wrong way or may seem personal I apologize.

But, I never lived with hubby eirther..we spend weeks together but that does not prepare us for married life..we all have to learn each still EVERYDAY after marriage..but what I will not do is ask him to change something I already accepted him with before we said I do...you ALWAYS will be working on ur marriage for the rest of ur life..it's not something set in stone..we both still have lives, things that is enjoyment for one and not for the other...I will not ask him to give that up just because..that's selfish...

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

why weren't these issues of change brought about b4 marriage ? some ooman feel dem can use MARRIAGE to change a man..they think the man is obligated now u have on rings...

Just wanted to state something about this...for my relationship personally neither one of us was married before, never lived with another woman/man (besides family) and didn't before we were married...basically we both had absolutely no clue what marriage entailed. Yeah we could read a few books here and there, go from what we learned in church and chat all we wanted about "the way things would be" but until you are actually in it and living it there really is no way to know what issues are going to come up. You may think that whatever comes your way you will deal with it but marriage really and truly is a lot of work - oftentimes more work than a person believes it will be. You think you can handle it all until you are in the thick of it and way over your head. I think for some the transition might be easier because some have been married before/lived with SO's...there is some level of experience there. Some issues just wouldn't arise before marriage and you can talk all you want about how you are going to do things but until you are actually living it...most people tend to dream bigger than they realize is humanly possible. I sure know that marriage is nothing like I had envisioned and dreamed about...it isn't necessarily a bad thing...it is just a thing.

i agree with both of your statements, I know women who do think marriage will change a man, but if you've been with a man for two or three years andhave already accepted certain things, marriage isn't going to change that.

and yes Yardie marriage is a lot of work, especially when u are both trying to make it work, if u have lived with someone before than there are certain issues that can be addressed up front but every relationship is different and what wasn't an issue in one relationship can be a huge issue in another

10 RATHID years fi come to my senses. I tried to make it work and failed miserably. Thank GOD I saw the light at the other side of the tunnel.

[Yaads 0]

Even'in Ladies;

I just wanted to thank ya'll for helping me with my school work that was assigned to me 4 weeks ago. I had no idea what to write about for my lifestyle/sociology class. I don't know who started the topic today or how it got started on marriage, relationship, sharing duties as a couple, but thank you. I came here for immigration guidance and well now I'm speechless, the WEALTH of information you get from people you've never met. Thanks again.

You're welcome! Just mek sure yuh use mi name inna di paper Mi waan nuff credit Just joking

Edited February 26, 2008 by Yardiewife

[SupportOAFJF 0]

and yes Yardie marriage is a lot of work, especially when u are both trying to make it work, if u have lived with someone before than there are certain issues that can be addressed up front but every relationship is different and what wasn't an issue in one relationship can be a huge issue in another

Which is why generalizations don't tend to work very well. There is always going to be the pot that breaks the mold.

was I generalizing ? I thought we were discussing a topic

[Yaads 0]

nope...well I had some ramen noodles a few mins a go and nothing yet...not tooting my own horn ..but maybe ramen noodles will be my breakfast lucn hdinner now...we'll see

Good luck. My cousin swears by ramen noodles. If you tell you have a hangover...she'll make noodles....if have gas...eat noodles...if your belly aches...eat noodles...

Ramen noodles are good for so many things! For only $0.14 a pack you can't go wrong

I agree they are really good. I love the chili flavor which is so hard to find. The one negative is that they are VERY HIGH in sodium.

True I try and only use half the packet so it isn't so high in sodium. I have never heard of a chili flavor All I get is chicken and beef...hmmm now I am gonna have to do some searching.

and yes Yardie marriage is a lot of work, especially when u are both trying to make it work, if u have lived with someone before than there are certain issues that can be addressed up front but every relationship is different and what wasn't an issue in one relationship can be a huge issue in another

Which is why generalizations don't tend to work very well. There is always going to be the pot that breaks the mold.

was I generalizing ? I thought we were discussing a topic

No not all...I was talking as a whole...not geared towards anybody or anyone's comments here. Just generalizations in general.