Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

[nannygirl82 0]

You know that they're still men (Jamaican or American or from anyweh)...still believes that a woman's place is in the kitchen. I guess if I grew up in dem times deh I would have no choice. But in 2008, I still see (some of my cousin that are in their 30s) still come home and play superwoman, because their men flat out REFUSE fi cook, clean, or look aftah pickney, but dem have time fi go sidung round domino table and drop hard. Bway mi no know...but dat is a hard pill fi mi swallow. My look pon mi aunti weh work 3-(12 hour) shifts as a ICU nurse, den afi come home and look aftah hubby and kids. When they came down for my baby shower 5 years ago, my auntie husband tell my daddy (im a do too much house work--- wah mi madda a do). My father tell im seh, u caan expect di ooman fi do everything. My auntie husband just kissteet and go hug up im red stripe...I caan tek im. Gaad know, mi no know how mi auntie tan wid im so rass lang...mi wouda avi push im baxide dung a flight a stairs.

Tre.....I rarely cook. Andre's better at it and works fewer hours around dinner time. I do all the dishes after he's messed up what seems like every single one in the kitchen. It works for us.

JG -

When my son's father and I met this was the agreement, HE COOKED and I kept the house clean and that worked for us. I have never met a Jamaica man that didn't mind cooking all the time. It wasn't until we broke up that he started cussing me about not cooking. It's not that I CAN'T cook, I just prefer not to (unless I have no other choice). I've been cook now for a year (since we break up) and he always telling me that OUR son look too skinny as if I'm not feeding him. I love to CLEAN, I can't help it don't know what it is, but mi just love fi clean house. I like for everything to me in order, so mi sorry mi MARCEL when im reach up yah...

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

[brownnskinn 0]

I think giving up control or equally sharing control is all about trust. The two go hand in hand If you don't trust them in _____ you can't give them control over _____. Fill in the blanks with anything...it will always ring true.

So very true.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Jomo's girl,

yes homes in JA are run by women but they are supported by men, even if they men do not live with them, as long as they have a baby fadda, then they are straight, he is the provider, he gives her the money and she does what she has to do with it. when we say provider it doesn't mean who pays the bills, it the person who gives up the money so the bills can be paid.

hhhmmm....i guess i was the provider all the way around....

It's not impossible...we are just talking about being in JA..how many women u kow in JA bring in the money so the MAN can spend it..

Kimmy,

Mi no know bout u...but mi know whole'eep a dem. Especially if the woman is older. Mi know nuff a dem. But you know the runnings on that

[brownnskinn 0]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

i think a lot of times men have issues with us telling them how to do things and what to do....even more so when they come from another country/culture....i think a lot of times they don't know how things "work" here and would rather have someone else who has no clue about things tell them...i am/was afraid to to let mike take controld of the money....because i know how he is...when he gets a couple of bucks he feels the need to spend it rather then try and save it for a rainy day...

Exactly! Me teaching Andre about writing checks, balancing the checkbook, online banking just to name a few...I viewed that as teaching the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life with a valuable lesson so WE can manage the household and it doesn't have to be all on my shoulders. I didn't see it as him not being as smart as me or beneath me in anyway. There is a lot of things I can teach him and he can teach me. I am not really sure how he viewed it but I know it wasn't the best as he wouldn't even let me teach him. I even offered to attend a money management type of class for 6 weeks through a local church that way it wasn't me teaching him and we would do it together...no go on that either. I really wanted Andre to have the control...I wanted us to be a "we" and not a "you" and "me" but when he won't even take the time to learn how to balance the checkbook how could I honestly trust him to take control of the finances.

I think giving up control or equally sharing control is all about trust. The two go hand in hand If you don't trust them in _____ you can't give them control over _____. Fill in the blanks with anything...it will always ring true.

Jamie ur right and I agree.....my husband comes to me many times "look at this, why is it ?" and so forth...he has no problem in learning to live life in America but he's not gonna change who he is in the process...why I'm not changing...there has to be compromise..there is no I WIN ALL THE TIME...

Jomo's girl,

yes homes in JA are run by women but they are supported by men, even if they men do not live with them, as long as they have a baby fadda, then they are straight, he is the provider, he gives her the money and she does what she has to do with it. when we say provider it doesn't mean who pays the bills, it the person who gives up the money so the bills can be paid.

hhhmmm....i guess i was the provider all the way around....

It's not impossible...we are just talking about being in JA..how many women u kow in JA bring in the money so the MAN can spend it..

Kimmy,

Mi no know bout u...but mi know whole'eep a dem. Especially if the woman is older. Mi know nuff a dem. But you know the runnings on that

well mek mi tell yuh something..dat NO fly weh mi come from at all..NO woman nah stand fi dat ish...mi get yuh dow

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

mothers all over....the little things u thing..oh cho..in adulthood is a monster

[nannygirl82 0]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

oh ya...don't even get me started on his mom....she really has shown her true colors in the past couple of months...

[SupportOAFJF 0]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

oh ya...don't even get me started on his mom....she really has shown her true colors in the past couple of months...

don't they ALL at some point..

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

oh ya...don't even get me started on his mom....she really has shown her true colors in the past couple of months...

Nanny mi fass/nosey...wah she do? wah she do?

[nannygirl82 0]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/26/shark.bit...ref=mpstoryview

talk about someone who didn't read the fine print....

[*JG* 2]

Jomo's girl,

yes homes in JA are run by women but they are supported by men, even if they men do not live with them, as long as they have a baby fadda, then they are straight, he is the provider, he gives her the money and she does what she has to do with it. when we say provider it doesn't mean who pays the bills, it the person who gives up the money so the bills can be paid.

hhhmmm....i guess i was the provider all the way around....

It's not impossible...we are just talking about being in JA..how many women u kow in JA bring in the money so the MAN can spend it..

Kimmy,

Mi no know bout u...but mi know whole'eep a dem. Especially if the woman is older. Mi know nuff a dem. But you know the runnings on that

Unfortunately I know way too many of them.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

oh ya...don't even get me started on his mom....she really has shown her true colors in the past couple of months...

Nanny mi fass/nosey...wah she do? wah she do?

cho...

Jomo's girl,

yes homes in JA are run by women but they are supported by men, even if they men do not live with them, as long as they have a baby fadda, then they are straight, he is the provider, he gives her the money and she does what she has to do with it. when we say provider it doesn't mean who pays the bills, it the person who gives up the money so the bills can be paid.

hhhmmm....i guess i was the provider all the way around....

It's not impossible...we are just talking about being in JA..how many women u kow in JA bring in the money so the MAN can spend it..

Kimmy,

Mi no know bout u...but mi know whole'eep a dem. Especially if the woman is older. Mi know nuff a dem. But you know the runnings on that

Unfortunately I know way too many of them.

yup..dat is unfortunate

[*JG* 2]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

Amen to that.

[brownnskinn 0]

You know that they're still men (Jamaican or American or from anyweh)...still believes that a woman's place is in the kitchen. I guess if I grew up in dem times deh I would have no choice. But in 2008, I still see (some of my cousin that are in their 30s) still come home and play superwoman, because their men flat out REFUSE fi cook, clean, or look aftah pickney, but dem have time fi go sidung round domino table and drop hard. Bway mi no know...but dat is a hard pill fi mi swallow. My look pon mi aunti weh work 3-(12 hour) shifts as a ICU nurse, den afi come home and look aftah hubby and kids. When they came down for my baby shower 5 years ago, my auntie husband tell my daddy (im a do too much house work--- wah mi madda a do). My father tell im seh, u caan expect di ooman fi do everything. My auntie husband just kissteet and go hug up im red stripe...I caan tek im. Gaad know, mi no know how mi auntie tan wid im so rass lang...mi wouda avi push im baxide dung a flight a stairs.

Tre.....I rarely cook. Andre's better at it and works fewer hours around dinner time. I do all the dishes after he's messed up what seems like every single one in the kitchen. It works for us.

For us as well...I hate to cook, but I do it cause I can't see myself letting him do it when know he's works wey harder than I all day. Who ever works the less away from home seems to do more work around the house. Sometimes me, sometimes him. I refuse to put gas in my car, I don't have to keep it clean or wash clothes cause that's what he enjoys doing.

[brownnskinn 0]

you don't know mike....in ja....do you know who would make food for him on a daily basis and leave food for him in his fridge...his momma...he HATED cooking and still does...he will make things IF and only IF he has to...but other then that...he would rather go somewhere and have it made for him...

Some mamma's sure know who to F-ck up their kids.

oh ya...don't even get me started on his mom....she really has shown her true colors in the past couple of months...

Nanny mi fass/nosey...wah she do? wah she do?

cho...

Jomo's girl,

yes homes in JA are run by women but they are supported by men, even if they men do not live with them, as long as they have a baby fadda, then they are straight, he is the provider, he gives her the money and she does what she has to do with it. when we say provider it doesn't mean who pays the bills, it the person who gives up the money so the bills can be paid.

hhhmmm....i guess i was the provider all the way around....

It's not impossible...we are just talking about being in JA..how many women u kow in JA bring in the money so the MAN can spend it..

Kimmy,

Mi no know bout u...but mi know whole'eep a dem. Especially if the woman is older. Mi know nuff a dem. But you know the runnings on that

Unfortunately I know way too many of them.

yup..dat is unfortunate

Wha ?she brining in da money from her odda man? ...that a dyam shame too.

[nannygirl82 0]

ok well it started off all nice and sweet....she would call all the time to see how i was...then she started having the kids call and ask for money and games all the expensive things.....mike would also talk about us sending for his mom...at the time i thought ok cool..i like her why not....well then things started going bad for mike and i...and she would call saying give him another chance...he doesn't know what he is doing he is bored give him another chance....as a fool i did....well when i dedided i needed time away from him....her calls stopped all together....she hasn't called me in months to not only see how i was but how her grandchild was.....well i found out by looking at the phone records...guess where mamma is...she is in Colorado on a work visa....and all mike could say was oopps i forgot....how does that happen....whatever i just shake my head....