Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

[brownnskinn 0]

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

yeah...I don't think it's an immaturity thing at all. It's all about being that provider the head of the home and it was branded into my husband, even tho I make more money I've learned to constantly stroke his male ego. Even when I knoe what to do I play stupid so to speak. He works harder here than he did in Ja making less money if it wern't for working two jobs. I could never mek him feel like is hard money goes un-noticed. We can never have too much money. We have pickeny to put through college, ect. Yeah I could do it by myself but it sure feels good to have help., and to know if I couldn't do it he'd go out and get a third job to mek it happen.

[Jengles 0]

lawny,

i was on my way to work and i called my boss, to tell him i was going to be a few minutes late and the man got scared and ordered me back home. i muss sound like sh!t

i tried to edit my response to Jomo's girl but my computer is acting up.

I wil always need money, let me just state that fact for the record and big up all professional golddigger. but most of us were handling life before we met these men.

no men coping with the fact that we as women do not their money to survive.

and what is a 5 cents raise supposed to do, that doesn't even equal an extra gallon of gas in the car at week time

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money?

First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

DWLLLLLLLLLLLL (JG), but for real ####### are is one suppose to do with 5 bbclatt cents. I hope and pray that my fiance will be able to get a decent job, since he works for the airport in Jamaica. Damn ya'll might have seen him a few times (FLAGGING in a plane). I agree 100%. That was the major problem with my son's father (I felt like I had another child to take care of) and when I would confront him about it, he had an attitude and tell mi seh mi a treat im like one PICKNEY...well grow the frig up.

did he start the dance, signal the plane, I COULD NOT RESIST

JENGS...u sure seh u no drink di whole bakkle a NIQUIL...no he didn't, but some days he says he feels like acting a fool out there. Jengs, mi nevah know seh Jamaica sun so STRANG...my fiance use to be brown skinned...now im darkkkkkkkk (from working outsdie)...mi tell im when the COLD wedah a foreign lick im...im ago look like one DUPPY

fi real, when i met mr jengles twin, he had just come from england and he was red/brown, when i went back the boy was dark, i had to tell mr jengles that mi nuh want him to turn red when him come up here, mi meet him dark and that is how i want him to stay.

[Mel_and_Daniel 1]

Morning!

Congrats Shauna! Wonderful news and one less stress!!!

Congrats Dee! I hope that CSC does you well

Daniel (or Mel ) Andre couldn't really find a barber here that he liked and that didn't cost an arm, leg and your first born so we went out and bought a really nice shaver that he uses at home so he does it himself most times.

Don't get me started on the whole "women are agressive" thing...don't get me started

I'll have to start growing my dreads....

[brownnskinn 0]

Congrats Dee! I hope that CSC does you well

Thank you! I sure hope so.

[nannygirl82 0]

If have something to say...I am going to say it! Most of us were raised by extremely STRONG Mothers and the days when we stand by and have our man talk for us are LANG GONE!!! When women started joining the workforce in droves ...we had to start speaking up or get pushed dung!

Bless,

Gill

Ok mi cyaan resist...mi muss put inna thoughts pon dis...

I was raised to be very independent and know how to take care of myself. For the most part I raised myself in my early teenage years and beyond. I had to grow up fast and take care of my bro and sis because my parents were so messed up and weren't really around to do the parenting much. So I grew up taking care of myself and not taking any bs. Andre says that he one of the reasons that he was attracted to me in JA was because I could handle myself well and didn't put up with anything...I spoke my mind and stood up for myself. Not sure if that makes me aggressive...it is just the way I am.

I do know that Andre has said many times that he feels like sometimes I don't need him. That I can handle myself and my business and don't have to rely on him for anything. While I do rely on him for many things I guess he is intimidated by the way I take care of business and the resources I have acquired over the years and that I really don't need him to survive, know what I mean?

Dang Yardie, come outah mi head...

That was the main problem with my son's father and I. I make twice the amount of money he does, when he met me I had my own house, car and bank accounts. Mi nevah did a brag...but a fi mi and mi wuk hard fi it... Since he was new to the country I tried to teach him things his bbclatt ex-wife didn't so, he would get defensive and seh mi a treat im like one pickney. My grannie always tell mi fi mek sure mi can mine mi self...give dem di respect dem want as a man, but MEK sure dem respect u ... mek dem earn di respect. Some men CANNOT HANDLE A WOMAN THAT HAS IT ALL TOGETHER...some want a woman who i totally dependent on them. I don't know how to let the man take control, I'm afraid to, I like to be in control, but I know at time I might have to step back a bit...mi still a STRUGGLE -- a so dem build some a we

i think a lot of times men have issues with us telling them how to do things and what to do....even more so when they come from another country/culture....i think a lot of times they don't know how things "work" here and would rather have someone else who has no clue about things tell them...i am/was afraid to to let mike take controld of the money....because i know how he is...when he gets a couple of bucks he feels the need to spend it rather then try and save it for a rainy day...

[SupportOAFJF 0]

lawny,

i was on my way to work and i called my boss, to tell him i was going to be a few minutes late and the man got scared and ordered me back home. i muss sound like sh!t

i tried to edit my response to Jomo's girl but my computer is acting up.

I wil always need money, let me just state that fact for the record and big up all professional golddigger. but most of us were handling life before we met these men.

no men coping with the fact that we as women do not their money to survive.

and what is a 5 cents raise supposed to do, that doesn't even equal an extra gallon of gas in the car at week time

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money?

First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

DWLLLLLLLLLLLL (JG), but for real ####### are is one suppose to do with 5 bbclatt cents. I hope and pray that my fiance will be able to get a decent job, since he works for the airport in Jamaica. Damn ya'll might have seen him a few times (FLAGGING in a plane). I agree 100%. That was the major problem with my son's father (I felt like I had another child to take care of) and when I would confront him about it, he had an attitude and tell mi seh mi a treat im like one PICKNEY...well grow the frig up.

did he start the dance, signal the plane, I COULD NOT RESIST

JENGS...u sure seh u no drink di whole bakkle a NIQUIL...no he didn't, but some days he says he feels like acting a fool out there. Jengs, mi nevah know seh Jamaica sun so STRANG...my fiance use to be brown skinned...now im darkkkkkkkk (from working outsdie)...mi tell im when the COLD wedah a foreign lick im...im ago look like one DUPPY

fi real, when i met mr jengles twin, he had just come from england and he was red/brown, when i went back the boy was dark, i had to tell mr jengles that mi nuh want him to turn red when him come up here, mi meet him dark and that is how i want him to stay.

a cyaan laugh..haahah..woiieeeeee mite just scare yuh...heheheee

[*JG* 2]

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money? First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

no, me not needing his money

Forgive my rambling ways today.....What you said is what I actually meant to say. Took a Tylenol 3 a couple hours ago and it's kicking in big time right now.

That is what I was responding to with what I wrote above. It's not about how much money someone makes, it's about if they are contributing to the household. Men who judge their worth on how much they make are just immature in my opinion.for to get there and if he isn't willing to because he feels everything is beneath him, well....I haven't got the time for that.

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

Yes, and those men I avoid like the plague.

I need someone a little more open minded then that in my life. Cause this sure isn't the 1950's anymore!

[Yaads 0]

Morning!

Congrats Shauna! Wonderful news and one less stress!!!

Congrats Dee! I hope that CSC does you well

Daniel (or Mel ) Andre couldn't really find a barber here that he liked and that didn't cost an arm, leg and your first born so we went out and bought a really nice shaver that he uses at home so he does it himself most times.

Don't get me started on the whole "women are agressive" thing...don't get me started

I'll have to start growing my dreads....

Don't give up yet! Go buy an nice shaver and with some trial and error I am sure you can learn to do it yourself. Andre was very hesitant at first but now he is a pro. He only messed it up once or twice and it really wasn't that bad (although he thought so ) Maybe you can even get Mel to learn so she can trim your hair for you Just make sure she is in a good mood

[nannygirl82 0]

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money? First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

no, me not needing his money

Forgive my rambling ways today.....What you said is what I actually meant to say. Took a Tylenol 3 a couple hours ago and it's kicking in big time right now.

That is what I was responding to with what I wrote above. It's not about how much money someone makes, it's about if they are contributing to the household. Men who judge their worth on how much they make are just immature in my opinion.for to get there and if he isn't willing to because he feels everything is beneath him, well....I haven't got the time for that.

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

Yes, and those men I avoid like the plague.

I need someone a little more open minded then that in my life. Cause this sure isn't the 1950's anymore!

Morning!

Congrats Shauna! Wonderful news and one less stress!!!

Congrats Dee! I hope that CSC does you well

Daniel (or Mel ) Andre couldn't really find a barber here that he liked and that didn't cost an arm, leg and your first born so we went out and bought a really nice shaver that he uses at home so he does it himself most times.

Don't get me started on the whole "women are agressive" thing...don't get me started

I'll have to start growing my dreads....

Don't give up yet! Go buy an nice shaver and with some trial and error I am sure you can learn to do it yourself. Andre was very hesitant at first but now he is a pro. He only messed it up once or twice and it really wasn't that bad (although he thought so ) Maybe you can even get Mel to learn so she can trim your hair for you Just make sure she is in a good mood

you could go to walmart...they have those shave yourself kits...or to a beauty supply store they may even be able to help you with what you buy OR where to go...

[Jengles 0]

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money? First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

no, me not needing his money

Forgive my rambling ways today.....What you said is what I actually meant to say. Took a Tylenol 3 a couple hours ago and it's kicking in big time right now.

That is what I was responding to with what I wrote above. It's not about how much money someone makes, it's about if they are contributing to the household. Men who judge their worth on how much they make are just immature in my opinion.for to get there and if he isn't willing to because he feels everything is beneath him, well....I haven't got the time for that.

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

Kimmy,

Some a di yard man dem mi know seh dem naw tek any and any kind a wurk...(misconception)...u can come American an get any jab u want widout experience (LIEEEEEEEEEEE) dat. Mi no know weh some a dem git dat fram...some a dem mi know seh dem naw wuk pon trash truck, naw clean up aftah no badi, naw wash pot ar wipe floor...all mi afi seh is (A WASH POT) put mi through college and meking up bed a hotel.

WHAT in NYc sanatiation makes $70,000 a year,

[*JG* 2]

You know what I find really ironic is these men are beat to death with the idea that they are the providers of the family and the head of the household; yet, statistically, a large percentage of Jamaican households in Jamaica are run by the women.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

yes I do believe it is has alot to do with how the women are most times. alot of them make these feel it is ok to drop off money on friday and carry one single life..as long as money coming in an him a mine har she good..until him breed a next ooman dem cuss (she and di ooman) and still shack up wid this man..unbelievable..In JA SOME men still stuck in the MI A MAN A YAAD ERA...AND U DEAR NOT SHOW U LOVE UR BABY MODDA..exactly baby modda cause most girls that's all they demand..nothing else..no body nah treat mi like beer when mi expensive champagne....so di ooman dem fi get blame partially...den again u have men that are "americanized' and up to the time on things cause it seem like parts a JA wayyyy back a time..and tend to treat their lady like u see on TV..sometimes not all bad

but can these men cope when a woman doesn't need their money??? that is the part where i keep getting stuck.

You mean your husband coping with not needing your money? First of all, I wish I was there. Even though I make twice as much as my husband between my two jobs, we ALWAYS need his money. (Did I tell you guys he got another raise? Ready for this?????? 5 cents. ####### are we supposed to do with a 5 cent raise? We've been laughing ever since!)

It's not all about money, Jengles. It's about him working hard to do his part, whether we really need it or not. I'll be damned if I am working my tail off and he's not doing the same. And, it's about him doing his part at home when I can't. Like I always say, I married a partner. I did not marry to have another child to take care of! Luckily, this is not one of our issues.

no, me not needing his money

Forgive my rambling ways today.....What you said is what I actually meant to say. Took a Tylenol 3 a couple hours ago and it's kicking in big time right now.

That is what I was responding to with what I wrote above. It's not about how much money someone makes, it's about if they are contributing to the household. Men who judge their worth on how much they make are just immature in my opinion.for to get there and if he isn't willing to because he feels everything is beneath him, well....I haven't got the time for that.

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

Yes, and those men I avoid like the plague.

I need someone a little more open minded then that in my life. Cause this sure isn't the 1950's anymore!

hmm..when was the last time u went to JA..it's so not the 1950's...Here i go back to my comment about some men being "americanized"...it is the culture...my husband knows..well when he had his PT job that the money wasn't much BUT he felt so fantastic to know he went to work and can say..Kimmy I'm gonna get Kimora pampers...don't even think it's about open minded it's about adjustment to something u r not used to,,ppl can be open minded and still not adopt anothers culture....

you have men that can't wait to get off the Island while u have some that say this is it..this is my home and take it for what it is..and care nothing about anything not apart of their culture..is this my husband partially...if I could have found job that could support my bills here we wouldn't even had gone thru the process..I love Jamaica

Edited February 26, 2008 by kimmykashi

[*JG* 2]

Agreed. but then again ..most of these men are JAMAICAN MEN..who r to be very proud..they r the providers..that's what they learned and no nothing else mostly.

yeah...I don't think it's an immaturity thing at all. It's all about being that provider the head of the home and it was branded into my husband, even tho I make more money I've learned to constantly stroke his male ego. Even when I knoe what to do I play stupid so to speak. He works harder here than he did in Ja making less money if it wern't for working two jobs. I could never mek him feel like is hard money goes un-noticed. We can never have too much money. We have pickeny to put through college, ect. Yeah I could do it by myself but it sure feels good to have help., and to know if I couldn't do it he'd go out and get a third job to mek it happen.

I say immaturity thing because I've noticed the trend in the younger men to say that kind of thing.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

You know that they're still men (Jamaican or American or from anyweh)...still believes that a woman's place is in the kitchen. I guess if I grew up in dem times deh I would have no choice. But in 2008, I still see (some of my cousin that are in their 30s) still come home and play superwoman, because their men flat out REFUSE fi cook, clean, or look aftah pickney, but dem have time fi go sidung round domino table and drop hard. Bway mi no know...but dat is a hard pill fi mi swallow. My look pon mi aunti weh work 3-(12 hour) shifts as a ICU nurse, den afi come home and look aftah hubby and kids. When they came down for my baby shower 5 years ago, my auntie husband tell my daddy (im a do too much house work--- wah mi madda a do). My father tell im seh, u caan expect di ooman fi do everything. My auntie husband just kissteet and go hug up im red stripe...I caan tek im. Gaad know, mi no know how mi auntie tan wid im so rass lang...mi wouda avi push im baxide dung a flight a stairs.

[brownnskinn 0]

If have something to say...I am going to say it! Most of us were raised by extremely STRONG Mothers and the days when we stand by and have our man talk for us are LANG GONE!!! When women started joining the workforce in droves ...we had to start speaking up or get pushed dung!

Bless,

Gill

Ok mi cyaan resist...mi muss put inna thoughts pon dis...

I was raised to be very independent and know how to take care of myself. For the most part I raised myself in my early teenage years and beyond. I had to grow up fast and take care of my bro and sis because my parents were so messed up and weren't really around to do the parenting much. So I grew up taking care of myself and not taking any bs. Andre says that he one of the reasons that he was attracted to me in JA was because I could handle myself well and didn't put up with anything...I spoke my mind and stood up for myself. Not sure if that makes me aggressive...it is just the way I am.

I do know that Andre has said many times that he feels like sometimes I don't need him. That I can handle myself and my business and don't have to rely on him for anything. While I do rely on him for many things I guess he is intimidated by the way I take care of business and the resources I have acquired over the years and that I really don't need him to survive, know what I mean?

Same here, I watched my mother hold it down as well gowing up. While I agree It's good to know how to tek care of your self. Our mothers AND fathers should have modeled what it looks like for a husband and wife to work as a team and complement one another. I didn't see much of that growing up.