Let's talk about the USC...

[Kanyiri 0]

Zee - I've been to the castles. Very eye-opening. The tour guide was excellent.

[Queen Jenn 0]

I have no ties to Africa. I am female USC, born and raised. Mom and dad also. I am also white, and from the south, and my family had a bit of a problem with our relationship at first. Now it is no problem. He is from Cameroon, and we met when our church went on a missions trip over there. He worked on staff with the ministry, and the rest is history... he is also in germany right now, and we had the interview in october and are waiting on his visa to be issued... no one ever goes through AP in Germany.. but we were the unlucky one in a million i gues...

My experience is that although there is a different cultural background, the religious background is stronger than the cultural one. Meaning that if you share the same religion, a lot of cultural issues are less severe. in my own opinion.

I have no ties to Africa either. I am a female USC. My parents are also USCs. And my grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great grandparents, etc. I am also WHITE. But I live in the western part of the U.S. Luckily, nobody in my immediate family had a problem with our relationship. We met on the internet and after 1 1/2 years, we spent a week together in Ghana (he felt I would be safer in Ghana than in Nigeria). My parents even came to Ghana, too. And THEY LOVE HIM!!!! (Not as much as I do, though )

I know that there will be cultural differences to overcome, but I agree that if you have the same religious beliefs, that it makes the cultural differences less extreme. I say that because there will likely be situations that will be handled based on religious beliefs and that the religious beliefs will dicatate how the situation is handled. My SO and I are the same religion and I have felt like that has made things a bit easier. We have talked about it and he feels the same way.

[Queen Jenn 0]

My experience is that although there is a different cultural background, the religious background is stronger than the cultural one. Meaning that if you share the same religion, a lot of cultural issues are less severe. in my own opinion.

That's interesting. So do you think that it's having the same religion or just having some religion? I mean what if one person is religious (whatever religion they choose) and the other is ambivalent, not really following any religion in particular but not averse to it either....just sort of not thinking about at all. Do you think that they would have problems? Or what if they both are religious (active) but practicing different religions.....do you think that would cause problems more than cultural differences?

I do think that COULD cause problems. Let's say that one person was religious and wanted to attend church every Sunday. The other person was not and wanted to spend the day together. That could cause tension because the person who wanted to spend the day together could end up resenting the other going to church. The person going to church could resent that the other person didn't want to attend church together. The only way this gets resolved is if one person gives in. My brother is NOT religious at all. His girlfriend is Episcopal. She doesn't go to church anymore. I don't know if it's because he doesn't go or if there is another reason, but the only reason it's not an issue is because she doesn't go to church.

I don't know about both being religious but practicing different beliefs. I know it could cause problems, but I can't make specific comments.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

My experience is that although there is a different cultural background, the religious background is stronger than the cultural one. Meaning that if you share the same religion, a lot of cultural issues are less severe. in my own opinion.

That's interesting. So do you think that it's having the same religion or just having some religion? I mean what if one person is religious (whatever religion they choose) and the other is ambivalent, not really following any religion in particular but not averse to it either....just sort of not thinking about at all. Do you think that they would have problems? Or what if they both are religious (active) but practicing different religions.....do you think that would cause problems more than cultural differences?

I do think that COULD cause problems. Let's say that one person was religious and wanted to attend church every Sunday. The other person was not and wanted to spend the day together. That could cause tension because the person who wanted to spend the day together could end up resenting the other going to church. The person going to church could resent that the other person didn't want to attend church together. The only way this gets resolved is if one person gives in. My brother is NOT religious at all. His girlfriend is Episcopal. She doesn't go to church anymore. I don't know if it's because he doesn't go or if there is another reason, but the only reason it's not an issue is because she doesn't go to church.

I don't know about both being religious but practicing different beliefs. I know it could cause problems, but I can't make specific comments.

I think that they could both compromise as another alternative. I guess I assume that a lot of issues in marriage will require compromise from both people, whether they are culturally similar or different. I don't like watching football, but my SO and my daughter both play football and like to watch together. I like us doing things as a family, so I will join them on the sofa and watch the whole thing. I love the time we are together and I make that compromise. But they are also stuck watching HGTV with me directly afterwards. Making two people into one takes work, commitment, and compromise.

[angel73 0]

My family and I are both USC born and raised in the South. I'm learnin about the Yoruba tribe and the language but as far as Ranti and I we share in the same faith. When I told my parents about him my mom called the elders in Nigeria and to check the status of his faith to see if he is very strong in the faith. It was a very good report. But when Ranti comes to the US he will have to learn more about the south in New Orleans ( where I was born and raised) especially since Katrina. But we decied to stay in MS for awhile, where the schools are so much better for my 14 year old son, and where there is less crime. But I will bring him to New Orleans so he can see some of the slavery houses. Maybe let him try a daquari. But I think that he will like the New Orleans food better than MS food.

[Ta Ta 1]

very interesting thread.

I am a white naturalized USC from Germany. I have lived here in the US since 1978. My fiance is Sierra Leonean.

We have the same religion, from the same denomination......both Pentecostal.

To me the same faith is the same culture in many things. We know where the boundaries are for situations with the Bible as guideline or road map

so to speak and that will be tremendously helpful for the adjustment period. We walk as one in many respects.

This unity in perspective and daily life is very important to us.

About the slavery ... get some documentaries for both of you to watch. There are great informational videos out there, you can rent many from

Netflix, just type in slavery and take your pick.

The coastal slave holding buildings are an experience , not just a sight to see. My fiance visited such a place.

When I was very young, African Americans taught me about God and through them I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. I was like a daughter

to this family. As a matter of fact she still calls me her daughter and baby. I believe that is the reason I feel so secure and comfortable

with everything African.

I have heard people say when I went to Africa I felt I was coming home......well this white girl feels the same way. There are no words

to describe it ...... it just is what it is.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Another white naturalized USC from Germany here. Nani is Ethiopian. There's a little something we sort of have in common geographically speaking - her father is and has been living in Germany for most of her life. But no, that is not how we met. We actually met through an Ethiopian friend of mine (and hers) that I met at work some time after I moved to the US. It's a rather long story. We don't have much of any "issue" from a cultural or religious perspective - there are differences, of course, and we deal with them as they come along. A little respect and appreciation for one another goes a long way in overcoming those differences or learning to live with or even treasure them. Ever since we have our baby girl, we tend to treasure those differences more as we want our baby to learn about both our native traditions and languages while at the same time provide a loving home to her that will give her every bit as happy and rich a childhood as both of us were fortunate enough to have.

[Queen Jenn 0]

I have heard people say when I went to Africa I felt I was coming home......well this white girl feels the same way. There are no words

to describe it ...... it just is what it is.

I felt the same way. I felt something in Africa that I have never felt anywhere else, and it's just like it had always been in my heart and was waiting for me to come.

I have traveled a lot. I have been to Europe (Germany, France, Austria, Luxembourg). I have been to Asia (Japan). I have been ALL OVER the U.S. and Canada. I have been to South America (Venezuela). I have been to Jamaica and many Caribbean Islands. I have been to several places in Mexico. But I have never felt the way I felt in Africa. It was truly amazing.

[Ta Ta 1]

I have heard people say when I went to Africa I felt I was coming home......well this white girl feels the same way. There are no words

to describe it ...... it just is what it is.

I felt the same way. I felt something in Africa that I have never felt anywhere else, and it's just like it had always been in my heart and was waiting for me to come.

I have traveled a lot. I have been to Europe (Germany, France, Austria, Luxembourg). I have been to Asia (Japan). I have been ALL OVER the U.S. and Canada. I have been to South America (Venezuela). I have been to Jamaica and many Caribbean Islands. I have been to several places in Mexico. But I have never felt the way I felt in Africa. It was truly amazing.

I feel you on that. I wonder why that is though. Supposedly all mankind has roots in Africa somehow but I don't understand it.