Questions for the immigrant spouse about communication in the US

[thesnowman 1]

1. What have you found to be the biggest barrier to communicating with U.S. Citizens?

They discount things I say as I am not American. I also find it odd to talk about things from home, without people thinking I am just moaning about the USA. Also the sports, back home I am a big football (soccer) fan, go to bars on saturday and watch the games and I enjoy it being talked about in the media. Over here football is like a second class sport, one time I went to a sports bar to watch Scotland play France. They gladly found the channel so that I could watch it, but being the only one there watching it made me feel down and miss home.

2. What cultural differences have made communication difficult?

See above. Also since the UK and the US are so similar I thought it would be easier, but in retrospect it makes it harder, it amplifies the slight differences to the point of annoyance. If it was completely different then it would be easier to accept and get on with.

3. How have you felt misunderstood by U.S. Citizens?

- yes when I talk about missing stuff from home. I have got the point of talking up some of the things I really like first before talking about the things I miss (like proper chocolate and proper bacon)

4. What do you wish U.S. Citizens understood about immigrants that you think they may not understand?

That not all immigrants are illegal, that we were quite happy where we lived before and only moved over here to be with a loved one. that we are not unskilled and only worth working in fast food chains and not here to steal jobs.

5. What sources have you used to find information about assimilating in the US?

Visajourney, internet, wifes family, work colleagues, friends back home that have lived here for a few years.

6. How successful have the resources you used in question 5 been?

very

7. How has the process of gathering information changed the longer you've been in country?

As I have mad some friends who are happy to answer my long string of questions it has made it easier.

8. Have you ever used a library to help you gather information since you moved to the U.S.?

yes

9. If you have used a library since immigrating, describe your experience with the library staff.

I check out books on a regular basis, the staff are nice and helpful.

10. What systems (formal or informal) have you set up for yourself to help with the adjustment process?

Just accept where I am, keep up to date with events back home and double my efforts to make friends here and just assimilate

[Krikit 1,165]

2. What cultural differences have made communication difficult?

Also since the UK and the US are so similar I thought it would be easier, but in retrospect it makes it harder, it amplifies the slight differences to the point of annoyance. If it was completely different then it would be easier to accept and get on with.

You are bang on with that point, Snowman. I get terribly frustrated with that aspect of living in the US. Well, maybe not as much anymore. I, too, thought it would have been much more easier, but it's not.

Also, Stephanie.... WRT Q10 and the systems I have set up to help with the adjustment process.... I searched high and low for stores which sell the products I am used to and/or cannot do without, and I have had some success in that area. For the things I cannot find I have searched for a comparable product. When that has met with failure I either bring things back from Canada and England myself, or have visitors bring them with them. (You have no idea how many bottles of HP Sauce I received when I whined in an email that I couldn't get the real stuff here.... I could open a shop. )

[slajmn 0]

John and I talk alot about whether or not the process is harder if your home culture is completely different from the US. But with reading so many peoples' experiences on VJ and with our own..I'm wondering if it's not the most difficult for those who really had a happy, full life prior to coming here, because it is literally starting over in every aspect of your life..and yes you speak English but your cultural identity is different and when you had a strong self identity prior to immigrating maybe it's hard to mesh the two cultural identities.

I thought I'd share how we handled question 10....one thing John missed the most besides his family/friends was Irn Bru (it's an orange soda from Scotland) ..so I asked a speciality store to order it. Every week we'd go in and buy a few bottles. Knowing that he could access "home stuff" made it so he didn't miss it as much. When he started finding things here that were familiar and comfortable, he didn't "need"Irn Bru anymore. Same thing with fish suppers, at first they were a comfort..and now they're a treat when we visit the Uk.

I do agree with the person who talked about missing football. If there's one thing I could do for John it would be to find someone he could discuss football with other than me...I try, but it's not the same. If you're a Scotland supporter, did you know you can stream the national games directly from the Scottish football association? It's four quid a game and was excellent quality....the Italy game was such a heartbreak..stupid ref.

Anyway, all of your comments are great. I really appreciate your continued help!

Cheers!

[thesnowman 1]

I thought I'd share how we handled question 10....one thing John missed the most besides his family/friends was Irn Bru (it's an orange soda from Scotland) ..so I asked a speciality store to order it. Every week we'd go in and buy a few bottles. Knowing that he could access "home stuff" made it so he didn't miss it as much. When he started finding things here that were familiar and comfortable, he didn't "need"Irn Bru anymore. Same thing with fish suppers, at first they were a comfort..and now they're a treat when we visit the Uk.

I do agree with the person who talked about missing football. If there's one thing I could do for John it would be to find someone he could discuss football with other than me...I try, but it's not the same. If you're a Scotland supporter, did you know you can stream the national games directly from the Scottish football association? It's four quid a game and was excellent quality....the Italy game was such a heartbreak..stupid ref.

Anyway, all of your comments are great. I really appreciate your continued help!

Cheers!

I love Irn Bru, I got my mum to bring me over a 12 pack when she visited in the summer. Spot on about the stupid ref, and yeah I did know that you can stream the game over the internet. Setana sports also carry some of the games, but you can only get them on satellite and not cable. Was gutted after the Italy game. At least England got knocked out

[Nancy2015 2]

Actually, I'm from the UK and have done this immigration thing twice. You'll find an awful lot of people from other countries - including Russia - coming through the US Consulates in Canada, so don't let the flags to the left of your screen mislead you.

Oops! Sorry

Happiness and perspective is all in the mind, and is presented by attitude. You are a representative of your country and, since the majority of Americans will never have the opportunity to visit Russia, people will form an impression based on their interaction with you. Rather than being irritated or annoyed with them for being misinformed, you can use the opportunity to help them understand Russian culture in a more positive light. Americans are social creatures, so their questions and natural curiousity are a way of reaching out to you as friends. And friends, in my opinion, are a rare and valuable thing.

I don't go around showing them how annoyed I am, but if that's their way of reaching out to me, then it's not working.

[melusine 5]

that's funny Sid&Nancy, while i have some american expression that makes me

if they would ask if my parents are still in france or canada or whatever, i wouldn't take it bad....

i had a bunch of other tho

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...45&start=45

[Mrs.J06 4]

1. What have you found to be the biggest barrier to communicating with U.S. Citizens?

Not sharing a common background such as childhood memories, traditions, TV shows etc.

Growing up in two different worlds sometimes makes communication hard.

2. What cultural differences have made communication difficult?

Many people I have met and work with have never even been out of their state. I find it tough to communicate with people who have never even been to California and who have a hard time imagining what life in Europe is like. It's easy and more fun to talk to Americans who travel more and generally have a broader perspective of the world!

3. How have you felt misunderstood by U.S. Citizens?

No, generally I haven't. (Other than being considered "rude" because of coming straight to the point, but I'm working on that one! )

4. What do you wish U.S. Citizens understood about immigrants that you think they may not understand?

Most people I talked to undestand that coming from Germany means I had electricity, telephone and flushable toilets before, too. Never got any "negative" comments at all.

I just wish people would understand a little better what "legal" immigration is like and what we all go through to get to live here legally.

5. What sources have you used to find information about assimilating in the US?

Husband (not too good of a source ), social interaction with husband's family and colleagues, books, internet.

6. How successful have the resources you used in question 5 been?

Quite

7. How has the process of gathering information changed the longer you've been in country?

No

8. Have you ever used a library to help you gather information since you moved to the U.S.?

Yes

9. If you have used a library since immigrating, describe your experience with the library staff.

Yes, I'm a member of a library close to work and volunteered in our local library before I could work.

Staff was very helpful, selection different from what I expected, in a positive way!

10. What systems (formal or informal) have you set up for yourself to help with the adjustment process?

Give myself more time, travel lots within the US, remember the things that drove me nuts in Germany, stay close to friends back home and spend a lot of time and effort to make new friends here. Other than that - enjoy every day it's not -25F up here!

[StillThePrettiest 3]

"Outwardly, moving from one culture to another, very different culture, would present the greatest challenge for the migrant, on the basis that the change is so dramatic. In contrast, moving from one culture to a seemingly similar culture, would appear to be much easier, but the sting in the tail here is that the very similarities may often present the greatest challenges because of the subtleties of difference."

that is SO right... I haven't answered your questions here because the US move is still ahead of me, but I moved from Australia to the UK just over three years ago, and have MANY times felt (and said) what you quoted above... I've spent reasonable amounts of time in Germany over the years, including a block where I was studying there, but somehow the culture shocks weren't quite as bad, because with everything from the language up, you EXPECTED it to be different... when there's an assumption, conscious or unconscious, that things will be roughly the same, constantly finding that THEY'RE JUST NOT can be really unsettling

which is why I await my US move with more than a little trepidation...

Happiness and perspective is all in the mind, and is presented by attitude. You are a representative of your country and, since the majority of Americans will never have the opportunity to visit Russia, people will form an impression based on their interaction with you. Rather than being irritated or annoyed with them for being misinformed, you can use the opportunity to help them understand Russian culture in a more positive light. Americans are social creatures, so their questions and natural curiousity are a way of reaching out to you as friends. And friends, in my opinion, are a rare and valuable thing.

That was said so eloquently kritkit. What a lovely perspective.

Carla

it IS a lovely perspective, and I really like the sentiment, but isn't this part of that whole issue of Americans generally not travelling beyond their own borders as much as the people of many other nations? I would suggest that most Americans have the opportunity to visit Russia (or anywhere else), but choose not to, for a variety of reasons - if they were THAT curious I would suggest that more of them might go and find out about other nations for themselves

just a thought, and not meant to be over-generalising or having a go at anyone

[mox 298]

it IS a lovely perspective, and I really like the sentiment, but isn't this part of that whole issue of Americans generally not travelling beyond their own borders as much as the people of many other nations? I would suggest that most Americans have the opportunity to visit Russia (or anywhere else), but choose not to, for a variety of reasons - if they were THAT curious I would suggest that more of them might go and find out about other nations for themselves

just a thought, and not meant to be over-generalising or having a go at anyone

There are a lot of reasons Americans don't tend to travel abroad. Being in huge debt because we absolutely have to have 2 SUV's in our 4-car garage, and somehow believing that taking a cruise to a resort in Acapulco *is* traveling abroad are probably the main ones, although in recent years we've also been victims of our own government's push to make us afraid of the rest of the world. But the real issue isn't so much that we don't travel abroad as much as we should, but that we tend to make assumptions and biases about other countries without ever having gone over to these other countries to see for ourselves. We love to criticize socialized medicine, and often say something like "just ask a Canadian how long they have to wait for their free treatment." And yet every Canadian I've ever met loves their health care system, and has rarely experienced they types of problems we assume they do. Unfortunately this misinformation keeps making the rounds because we keep staying in our own country and propagating it.

Going back over this thread, I really do feel for Nancy, and I sincerely hope her American experience can still be salvaged. Although I'd like to make one observation, when you were irritated that people asked if your parents still lived in Russia. Keep in mind that "still" is idiomatic of the (American) English language, and it's often used in a throw-away sense. So if I ask you if you still live in California, I'm really just saying "the last I knew, you lived in California. Is this where you currently live?" Chances are these people don't mean anything mean by their question, they just really mean "obviously because you are from Russia, your parents have lived in Russia. Is this the case now?"

Americans are curious, and often we insult without meaning to. If you believe you are being insulted face-to-face by an American you just met, the chances are that they're just trying to make conversation. We Americans know so little about your country, and what we do know has been run through the news cycle and corrupted by our politicians. We know about Communism, Kruschev wanting to bury us, the Berlin Wall, gulags, and many of the other stereotypes. We know so little about how hospitable the Russian people are, how wonderful their senses of humor are, their ancient traditions, etc, etc. We want to know these things, but we're not very good at asking the question. I hope you'll cut us a little slack, and educate us where you can.

A great story I heard about the differences between Russians and Americans was when the first McDonalds was opened in Russia. The cashiers were instructed to greet everyone with a big smile on their face, in the Western style. But in Russia, smiles are reserved mainly for your friends, which is why you don't see a lot of smiling on the street. People who are always smiling are thought to be retarded or just plain weird. So there were a lot of complaints that the cashiers at the new McDonalds were idiots, and it really unnerved the customers. It was a case where the (obviously Western) managers wanted to make their new customers feel welcome, but through no fault of their own it was not received that way.

[Texanadian 10]

1. What have you found to be the biggest barrier to communicating with U.S. Citizens?

The lack of Spanish on my behalf. I'm from Canada, so English isn't an issue. But I have NO IDEA about Spanish langauge. And it's all over the place in Texas. Lots of Spanish words in restaurant menus. Streets are in Spanish. For example, there's a street here called San Felipe. Is that pronounced Feh-leep, feh-lee-peh, fill-a-pee?

2. What cultural differences have made communication difficult?

Words that are different for common things. I have license plate "stickers" on my car while people here say "tags." In Texas, you put your "tag" in the front window. But it's a sticky plastic sticker. I keep thinking tags are something like a small card.

I tried to order brown bread with bacon and eggs one time. The waitress looked at me with a deer in the headlights look. Is that like whole wheat? Um yeah? Turns out they refer to any bread that isn't white as brown. So multigrain and rye bread would be classified as brown bread here. If you actually want "brown" bread, you have to order "wheat" bread. Wheat in Canada is a snooty upper class way of saying brown bread. It seems odd to me that you can get white or wheat instead of white or brown.

Maybe it's that I used to be a commercial baker who made all sorts of breads. I know that brown bread and rye bread are completely different.

3. How have you felt misunderstood by U.S. Citizens?

Not so much misunderstood. Canadians generally think that Americans are dumb when it comes to Canada. That they know as much about how life works there as they do in say Mongolia. But now that I'm in the USA, I can see why Canadians think that way. It's not that Americans are stupid. It's that there is ZERO Canadian news down here. I haven't even seen a hockey game on TV, never mind heard about any Canadian political news or current events. In Canada, we got all the Canadian news and all the American news. So if somebody got arrested for walking naked in Denver, we heard about it.

4. What do you wish U.S. Citizens understood about immigrants that you think they may not understand?

That the paperwork is longer than they think it is. That things like banking and credit are start from scratch. You'd think it would be basically the same on both sides of the CAN-USA border. Checking/Savings/loans etc. But it isn't.

I was surprised walking into a US bank and seeing deposit slips. Canada got rid of those 20 years ago. Instead of a word code to take money out of your account at a teller. (you make up your own word. Something like brown coffee cup. And they give you the money.) In the US, you have to show ID. I show them my Canadian driver's license. Do you have anything better than that? A passport? Sure.....Later when I went to get the $1010 certified check for my AOS, I showed them my passport so they could take the money out of my account. My passport is expired, but it takes months to get a new one. So I pulled out my driver's license.

Health care is an issue. Americans don't like that non Americans come to the US and don't have health care. But just getting health care is hard. Most applications asked if I had been a resident in the USA for 6 months. No. Well then you're not eligible for the plan. And it's expensive since I don't have a work sponsored health care plan.

5. What sources have you used to find information about assimilating in the US?

Just talking to friends in the US who are sympathetic to people from other countries. Who can explain stuff in detail that to an American seems like common knowledge. Lots of driving things. For example, in Houston there are open parts in the center of major roads to make a U-turn in. No lines are marked there, it's just an open area. I had to ask if you make a tight turn so that if there is somebody the other way making also making a U-turn, that my passenger window would be next to their car, or do I make a wide turn, so my driver window is next to their car. What do they look for on an inspection or emissions test. That sort of thing.

6. How successful have the resources you used in question 5 been?

Pretty good.

7. How has the process of gathering information changed the longer you've been in country?

Not much really. I used to concentrate on what needed to be done for a Canadian emmigrating (what happens at tax time, how investments are taxed if you leave them in Canada, what steps need to be done for immigrating)....Now it's more of what steps does an immigrant in the USA have to do. How do you up your credit rating? What options are there for TV/internet/phone service.

One of the things I need to concentrate on more are work rules and conditions. What holidays are given. Do you get payed holidays. How long before you do. How does holiday/overtime pay work. What are my rights as an employee.

8. Have you ever used a library to help you gather information since you moved to the U.S.?

No

9. If you have used a library since immigrating, describe your experience with the library staff.

n/a

10. What systems (formal or informal) have you set up for yourself to help with the adjustment process?

I think the best thing is to buy a GPS for your car. I've gotten lost so many times before buying the GPS.

Overall, I'd say the biggest differences are banking and driving.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I really liked everything you said, mox; thank you for putting all that out there

(as an aside, I remember being taken to McDonalds in Moscow, back in 1993, as a SPECIAL TREAT by my host family - as I have long shunned the place with Extra-Special Shunning, it took a moment for me to arrange my face into the proper excited expression )

I was especially interested in the bit quoted below:

There are a lot of reasons Americans don't tend to travel abroad. Being in huge debt because we absolutely have to have 2 SUV's in our 4-car garage, and somehow believing that taking a cruise to a resort in Acapulco *is* traveling abroad are probably the main ones, although in recent years we've also been victims of our own government's push to make us afraid of the rest of the world. But the real issue isn't so much that we don't travel abroad as much as we should, but that we tend to make assumptions and biases about other countries without ever having gone over to these other countries to see for ourselves. We love to criticize socialized medicine, and often say something like "just ask a Canadian how long they have to wait for their free treatment." And yet every Canadian I've ever met loves their health care system, and has rarely experienced they types of problems we assume they do. Unfortunately this misinformation keeps making the rounds because we keep staying in our own country and propagating it.

I think I mainly want to know: why do you think the bit in bold is true? I mean, many cultures have this warped idea of 'need' in their cultures, and prioritise things like big houses and multiple cars etc much higher than such things rightly deserve, but many of those cultures also put overseas travel in there with all that stuff as An Important Thing To Do... Australia is a case in point; yes, there are quite a few who think a week in Bali is seeing the world, but then there's thousands of us scattered all over the globe, and the backpacker tour of Europe is practically a rite of passage; and we're more remote (and in some ways more insular - certainly physically) than you guys

I would suspect that the answer will have something to do with the oft-quoted American belief that 'we don't need to travel; our own country is so vast', forgetting that there's more to travel than seeing different landscapes, but I'd be interested to hear other thoughts on the matter

[mox 298]

I think I mainly want to know: why do you think the bit in bold is true?...

Americans, more than any other society on the planet, live beyond their means. Yes, everyone likes to have a nice car and house, big screen TV, etc. But Americans (and of course this is a generalization) have to have *more* and *bigger.* If we can comfortably afford a $150,000 house, then we have to buy the $200,000 house. If we can comfortably afford the SUV, we have to get it with a leather interior and the gas-guzzling V-8. If there's a new iPod available, we have to replace the one we have that works fine, because it's not the latest and greatest anymore.

To pay for all of this, we work. And we work. And we work. And if our company allows it, sometimes we even sell back vacation time for cash, because we need it to pay off the debt from all this *stuff* that we've amassed.

So why don't Americans fit travel in with all that stuff? Because it's not a consumable that we can show off. You can't load MP3's onto a trip to New Zealand. You can take an amazing trip to Russia or backpacking through Europe, but within a week of getting back nobody is really interested in hearing all your stories anymore. And for those Americans who would be inclined to travel, our own government has made us so fearful of the rest of the world that it puts many would-be travelers off. Why risk being killed in a terrorist attack in London when you can go to Disneyland where everything is safely prepackaged for your entertainment? (of course the odds of being killed in *any* terrorist attack are astronomical, but you wouldn't know that from watching the news.)

To be fair, it's not always that simple. Americans get a lot less vacation time than Europeans. If you're just starting a job, it's about 2 weeks a year or less. The longer you stay with a company, the more vacation time you get, but it's pretty small increments. Also, Americans tend to change jobs a lot. We also use our vacation less during times of economic instability, because we're worried that it might somehow convey that our job isn't important enough to keep when the layoffs start. And most of us are required to use our personal holiday time as sick leave or if we have a family emergency. I've worked at jobs where, as much as I would have liked to have done some traveling, I was never able to amass enough vacation time to pull it off.

We could learn a lot from Germany or France about how giving people more time off actually increases productivity, but unfortunately the notion that we can learn anything from anywhere else is not in fashion these days.

And just so I don't come across as completely anti-American (which I'm not) I will say that as critical as I am, I still love my country. There are few places in the world I'd rather live. Even with all the anti-immigrant vitriol lately, I still believe we are the most immigrant-friendly country on the planet. We love to meet new people, and we are (as I said) always curious, even if we're sometimes clumsy in expressing that curiosity. Hopefully this whole culture of fear and mass consumerism will flip around soon, and Americans will once again go out in the world and exchange with other cultures.

[Texanadian 10]

The reason Americans (and Canadians) don't travel compared to Europeans is simply the cost aspect and large land masses.

For me to travel from Canada to Texas, it was usually $450-700. That's a 4 hour flight if I took a direct flight (which I never could do, do to scheduling aspects). Even a 45 minute flight from Vancouver to Seattle is $300.

My old bosses were German. Their son lives there. He could fly from Germany to Paris for $30. Yes, thirty dollars. It's also easier for him to go to France for a long weekend than it is for me to go there. It would be a 12 hour flight each direction for me to get there.

Edited December 11, 2007 by Texanadian

[Ta Ta 1]

I came to the USA in 1978 from Germany with my USC ex husband. I was young and naive.

Stayed at home and raised my babies without friends and isolated for the most part.

Little by little I started to network and make friends. One has to reach out to gain a friend and not just expect others to bang on your door. If you want a friend show yourself friendly.

I spoke little English and experienced anxiety trying to communicate. See Jane run and Bill has a ball........those English classes were of no use

to do a banking transaction.

I became increasingly independent and after many years established my own therapy business. With my increased self reliance my ex became my ex.

Maybe he was no longer happy that he was no longer my ' teacher ' in everything. This is a crucial point often overlooked by the sponsoring SO.

When we as foreigners try to find our way, our new identity, please allow us to grow and find our place. Do not become threatened by our new found 'way of being' or success and enjoy the growth with us. It does not mean we no longer need you......it just means we are now able to handle a lot on our own but still appreciate your input without your need to control. This from my perspective after living here for 30 years.

I did not come here for a better life, I came because this was my now ex husbands home. I still have guilt feelings leaving my now 93 year old mother

behind to fend for herself with me being her only child. I have given up a lot.

I agree that Americans inquire about family still in the home country as a friendly way to reach out to you. If you would engage in that conversation you may gain good friends and feel less isolated. Americans take an interest in asking about your homeland. Should they travel more ?

As pointed out the short vacations do not leave much freedom to do so. The vastness of America also has a role to play and Europe is not exactly next door. Still a lot is missed by not venturing out to foreign countries.

Some negative things besides the chocolate (!) well, I have been called Nazi and Krauthead, this was done in so called fun and teasing though it was not funny to me but I just let it go. Some people are truly ignorant.

I pity Americans who have no clue about other cultures and Nationalities, especially here in small mid western towns.

I cringe when people think Africa is a country.

I am so integrated now that I feel truly like an American and feel lost and strange to my own German culture that faded away. I tried to instill

the German culture into my three now grown children but should have done more than I did. My grand children enjoy some of those traditions.

This is my home now and I am grateful to be here.

Thanks for allowing me a trip down memory lane as I venture out on another journey with my fiance from Sierra Leone, W. Africa.

[ForeverAmen 0]

I came to the USA in 1978 from Germany with my USC ex husband. I was young and naive.

Stayed at home and raised my babies without friends and isolated for the most part.

Little by little I started to network and make friends. One has to reach out to gain a friend and not just expect others to bang on your door. If you want a friend show yourself friendly.

I spoke little English and experienced anxiety trying to communicate. See Jane run and Bill has a ball........those English classes were of no use

to do a banking transaction.

I became increasingly independent and after many years established my own therapy business. With my increased self reliance my ex became my ex.

Maybe he was no longer happy that he was no longer my ' teacher ' in everything. This is a crucial point often overlooked by the sponsoring SO.

When we as foreigners try to find our way, our new identity, please allow us to grow and find our place. Do not become threatened by our new found 'way of being' or success and enjoy the growth with us. It does not mean we no longer need you......it just means we are now able to handle a lot on our own but still appreciate your input without your need to control. This from my perspective after living here for 30 years.

I did not come here for a better life, I came because this was my now ex husbands home. I still have guilt feelings leaving my now 93 year old mother

behind to fend for herself with me being her only child. I have given up a lot.

I agree that Americans inquire about family still in the home country as a friendly way to reach out to you. If you would engage in that conversation you may gain good friends and feel less isolated. Americans take an interest in asking about your homeland. Should they travel more ?

As pointed out the short vacations do not leave much freedom to do so. The vastness of America also has a role to play and Europe is not exactly next door. Still a lot is missed by not venturing out to foreign countries.

Some negative things besides the chocolate (!) well, I have been called Nazi and Krauthead, this was done in so called fun and teasing though it was not funny to me but I just let it go. Some people are truly ignorant.

I pity Americans who have no clue about other cultures and Nationalities, especially here in small mid western towns.

I cringe when people think Africa is a country.

I am so integrated now that I feel truly like an American and feel lost and strange to my own German culture that faded away. I tried to instill

the German culture into my three now grown children but should have done more than I did. My grand children enjoy some of those traditions.

This is my home now and I am grateful to be here.

Thanks for allowing me a trip down memory lane as I venture out on another journey with my fiance from Sierra Leone, W. Africa.

Omoba - well said! You've certainly given me (a USC) a fresh perspective on things.

Thanks!

Boaz