Failed Relationship

[peezey 0]

Please advise on what to do if the relationship failed prior to AOS. My wife is already here in the states but I am planning on sending her back home. Who do i notify?

I would think "home" is with you, her husband. Maybe this attitude is why things have gone downhill. Does she not feel welcome here?

[daveandlirio 0]

Like you stated above, some like to post such things merely for entertainment. Some are real and have been used. As to your relationship (or anyone's for that matter) IMHO it's what you feel in your heart and what your gut reaction is telling you. If you've spent enough time with your fiancée then you should know what her intentions are. To let you know though...it's not just filipinas that seem to do this...there are other fiancées in other countries that have done this same thing.

What does your heart tell you? That's the question you have to answer, and by reading your post it sounds as if you've answered it.

Good point! The cards have been dealt and now I fully intend to play the hand and make the best of it. In my gut and my heart, I believe I have been dealt an exceptional hand. I love my fiancee enough to take the risk and go all in, for better or worse. VJ has become a regular part of my daily life, so I'm sure you will all hear about how things pan out either way.

Merry Christmas!

[KarenCee 3]

Like you stated above, some like to post such things merely for entertainment. Some are real and have been used. As to your relationship (or anyone's for that matter) IMHO it's what you feel in your heart and what your gut reaction is telling you. If you've spent enough time with your fiancée then you should know what her intentions are. To let you know though...it's not just filipinas that seem to do this...there are other fiancées in other countries that have done this same thing.

What does your heart tell you? That's the question you have to answer, and by reading your post it sounds as if you've answered it.

Good point! The cards have been dealt and now I fully intend to play the hand and make the best of it. In my gut and my heart, I believe I have been dealt an exceptional hand. I love my fiancee enough to take the risk and go all in, for better or worse. VJ has become a regular part of my daily life, so I'm sure you will all hear about how things pan out either way.

Merry Christmas!

Excellent Merry Christmas to you and Lirio too! Hope this one is the last spent apart.

Edited December 14, 2006 by KarenCee

[JenT 0]

I felt the same way when I read: "Filpina's are great wifes and they are very dedicated to their husbands"

What a generalization.

ugh was going to type something but I guess it's too mean.

ugh never mind. This post bothers me.

The language of it bothers me too 'planning on sending her home'... she's not a package to mark 'return to sender' if you don't want it any more.

i was gonna say exactly the same thing and totally agree with you..... soooo wrong to consider your partner "a packeage" ....wrong ....

Edited December 14, 2006 by JenT

[Dean iWait 0]

I just don't understand why peeps dig up 8 month old posts and respond to them.

[JenT 0]

I just don't understand why peeps dig up 8 month old posts and respond to them.

It's an old thread but a new forum... might have been moved there and someone chose to comment thinking that it was recent... ???

[mychelle 1]

I felt the same way when I read: "Filpina's are great wifes and they are very dedicated to their husbands"

What a generalization.

i know what you mean. something about it rubs me the wrong way too. it could be better if he had said: my wife is a filipina. she's great and she is very dedicated to me, her husband. now that's more like it!

Edited December 14, 2006 by mychelle

[southernchic 0]

Like you stated above, some like to post such things merely for entertainment. Some are real and have been used. As to your relationship (or anyone's for that matter) IMHO it's what you feel in your heart and what your gut reaction is telling you. If you've spent enough time with your fiancée then you should know what her intentions are. To let you know though...it's not just filipinas that seem to do this...there are other fiancées in other countries that have done this same thing.

What does your heart tell you? That's the question you have to answer, and by reading your post it sounds as if you've answered it.

Good point! The cards have been dealt and now I fully intend to play the hand and make the best of it. In my gut and my heart, I believe I have been dealt an exceptional hand. I love my fiancee enough to take the risk and go all in, for better or worse. VJ has become a regular part of my daily life, so I'm sure you will all hear about how things pan out either way.

Merry Christmas!

This is an old post but it is a VERY VERY relevant issue for many people who are considering or are in the middle of a relationship with another person from another country. I am married to someone from another country. I believe that he loves me and is committed to me. But the relationship is VERY VERY difficult. Since he's lived in the US, I've seriously wondered if I made the right decision. We're both committed to working things out. But its not easy to start a new life with someone from another culture. Daily living can be complicated because of misunderstandings and challenges to communicate. And sometimes people have many unspoken expectations. And lets be real. There are people out there who will marry an American to come to the US and to get their papers. No one wants that.

Every relationship is different. The challenges will vary from couple to couple. Have faith. But recognize that serious challenges might lie ahead.

What I admire about VJ is that its one of the few communities that supports the idea of international and intercultural relationships. And it provides an invaluable service to those working their way through the visa process. But what is good about this new forum is that it examines the downside and the realities of international relationships. I encourage those who are moving their way through the proces to learn from both the good and the bad experiences.

Good luck to you!!!

[Fandango 1,440]

You know, I just don't know what to think. VJ has offered a WEALTH of knowledge and support throughout the K1 process for me and my Filipina fiancee, but it has also introduced a WEALTH of concern. I keep seeing threads like this where inuendo and often outright accusations suggest that Filipinas (in particular) are predisposed to be entering the US under false pretenses, are gold-diggers, are often adulterous, occassionally already have another man in the PI or quickly find another in the US, and even in some cases plot ahead of time to build a case for abuse to have ready when the green card drops so they can cut and run and clean the USC out on their way out the door.

I've seen a lot of these posters referred to as trolls and such, but I often wonder what would be the motivation for numerous people to post such inflammatory information for no reason other than entertainment. Perhaps that is the case; perhaps not. Regardless, this garbage has caused me to have moments of concern myself - everytime my fiancee does anything that seems to fit into the profile these "trolls" have been painting, I find myself wondering if somehow I could be getting duped.

I love my fiancee very much and I truly believe she loves me and has good intentions. That's why I'm progressing with our K1 and marriage. But still, the thought of being financially raped and emotionally destroyed based on a purported cultural predisposition for deception in this particular arena is VERY scary.

I've talked with my fiancee about the things I've heard, read, and (unfortunately) seen, and her response is "I'm not those girls!" I love her, I trust her, and I have no choice but accept her at her word and let time tell the tale, but I pray it turns out to be a fairytale vice a nightmare.

Thoughts?

If you trust her, then don't worry

If you are still worried, you really don't trust her.

[Rob and Melinda 0]

Why did the relationship fail? Hey marriage is alot of work, you dont just give up because its not comfortable anymore. Work at it, didnt you promise to love her for better of for worse. guess what, this is the worse. MAKE IT WORK. Both of you stop being so selfish and sit down together and eat some humble pie.

Man I get so tired of all the cry babies on this forum that wont work on their marriages

Rob

[KarenCee 3]

Wow....this thread is almost a year old guys....why dig it up now?

[Fandango 1,440]

We should purge the forums every six months, lol