Topics to be discussed before moving/marrying

[*JG* 2]

Whether it is appropriate to eat ice cream in bed

Depends if you drip or not!

[JODO 2]

Whether it is appropriate to eat ice cream in bed

Depends if you drip or not!

[Texanadian 10]

Comfort levels with the thermostat....that's a good one.

I moved from Canada to Texas in the summer and froze my butt off! My wife likes it like a meat locker in here. I was NOT expecting to be cold in the summertime in Texas. I didn't bring any jackets or sweaters with me. No slippers either.

No air conditioning in BC. Not in my home, car, work, most small businesses. So it was 75-85 most of the summer inside and outside. When it gets to 90 and even 95, you just stay in the shade, drink water, and go swimming. It's not that bad.

In Houston, EVERYBODY cranks the air conditioning down to penguin temperatures. It's cold when you walk into a building. I woke up many mornings after she'd gone to work during the summer curled up and cold!

It's not so bad this time of year. We only run the A/C for about 2 hours a day now. It was running 12-15 hours when I got here.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

man, I'd pull the 'global warming!' thing on that one

we'll have air-con, but we're going to run it as little as possible... the house has got windows; we're going to try a novel approach, and open them

[mox 298]

the house has got windows; we're going to try a novel approach, and open them

You crazy Europeans and your quaint ideas!

[*JG* 2]

That temp thing is a good one. Although, until they experience it.......Andre grew up in Jamaica, thinking he knew what was hot and what was cold. Then, he experienced 2 sweltering humid St. Louis summers and 1 (mild, if you ask me) winter and he has completely changed his opinion of what he thought he knew.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

moxy, I'm Australian; the first 31 years of my life were spent in Sydney, which while not the hottest place in the world can certainly get warm and humid on occasion

I've never lived in a house with air-con - deliberately, as an environmental thing; when I bought my place in Sydney I looked for somewhere with lots of cross-ventilation - and I have never been sorry

and as the climates of Houston and Sydney seem pretty close, it's not like I have NO idea what I'm talking about

[mox 298]

Hopefully no offense was taken StP, I was poking fun at Americans a) who don't know what a European is, and b) who feel that central air conditioning and central heating are the only way to control the climate in their house.

I live in Northern California, no AC in most places here either. When I'm hot I open a window, when it gets down to a frigid 60 (15C) or so, I close them. It's a system that works pretty good. I will admit to having had AC when I lived in Denver though. Temperatures there can get up to 100 (37C) in the summer.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I've experienced 42C in Sydney before - more than once - and still no a/c

37C is pretty common, I have to say

and no, absolutely no offence taken - very far from it

would take a lot more than a simple discussion and a pleasant exchange of views to do that

[NaNaNaNaBooBoo 0]

Wow! No matter how many things we tried to think about before we got married, there were so many things we didn't cover, mainly the cultural differences between our countries. Not necessarily things that we would think would affect our marriage, but do. Things like the ways our legal system works here in the US, the way we shop in a grocery store, telemarketers, the expense and quantity of phone calls made and the importance of them to your SOs lifeline to their country, and what credit and debt are : )

It is the unexpected stuff that is not on any list which gives us the biggest challenges.

[Jeraly 4]

Jeremy and I have been talking for six years about everything under the sun so I feel we are pretty well prepared although of course there will be instances along the way that will throw a spanner in the works and challenge us to work through things together (if we can do it for the visa process then we can do it for anything!)

A lot of the things that need to be discussed have already been discussed and that is one of the reasons we are getting married: we share similar outlooks on life, have similar values and interests and so I know that other things will just have to be compromised and discussed

The big important things we discussed before getting engaged:

• Children (if we wanted them, how many etc - at this point we even have names )
• Future careers - our dreams and aspirations and how we would support each other in them
• Communication - a lot of learning by doing here but we constantly reflect on our arguments to realise why we have them and how we can avoid them
• Compromise - not everyone agrees and they shouldn't have to - we have tried to figure how to be happy with compromise
• Money - what sort of lifestyle we were expecting and what we would and would not be happy with

Other stuff since then has been:

• Where to live
• How to support each other financially and emotionally
• Values on bringing up children
• How to establish household routines (yes, cleaning!) so it is fair
• Standards of cleanliness!!!

Everything else is just niggly habits and I think that the wrinkles can only get ironed out through living together I will prolly remember more things but the key thing is communication - with that you can cover pretty much anything

It is the unexpected stuff that is not on any list which gives us the biggest challenges.

Definitely but it is what makes life interesting and brings you closer together

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

Do you snore?

[Dr. Obvious 49]

You guys are prepared. Or maybe it is that I am just trying to imagine getting these things on the table all at once. Be prepared for people to change their minds regardless of how much you discuss it beforehand.

In our first conversation about marriage just in general, my husband told me under absolutely no circumstances would he ever marry. He didn't believe in it. He was serious.

He also wanted 3-5 kids. Then we had one and all of that went out the window too.

When my husband's plane landed in O'Hare and he began his new life here, we got into a fight in the car because he wanted to go immediately see this Volvo wagon I didn't care about in Lake Bluff. We got lost, it got dark, and I got pissed. We ended up buying that car after I cooled down and thought about it. I was initially really against it. Then some guy killed it a few days later.

Edited December 16, 2007 by Wacken

[Texanadian 10]

Sydney passes the temperature test, but is it humid there too? Houston is the most humid city in the USA.

I've walked around Phoenix Arizona when it was 29° with pants, a shirt, and a sweatshirt and been comfortable. But it's about 5% humidity there.

I never used A/C in when I lived in Western Canada. Open windows worked well. Houston on the other hand, heck the weather report includes how many mold spores are in the air.

[Krikit 1,165]

10 Most Humid Cities Link

1. Quillayute, Washington - 83%

2. Olympia, Washington - 78%

3. Port Arthur, Texas - 77.5%

4. Lake Charles, Louisiana - 77%

5. Apalachicola, Florida - 76.5%

6. Gainesville, Florida - 76.5%

7. Corpus Christi, Texas - 76%

8. Eugene, Oregon - 75.5%

9. New Orleans, Louisiana - 75.5%

10. Houston, Texas - 75%

Edited December 20, 2007 by Krikit