Acclimatization, Philippines to USA

[raquel_1208 1]

russ, where do you live in california? if its near my husband's area maybe someday i could visit your wife and we could do our shopping together.

[aiwa311975 0]

The journey of life is difficult enough let alone moving from the Philippines to the USA.

Besides leaving their family and world the American way of life, in some ways, is completely backwords to philippine customs and traditions.

Just a few obvious differences revolve around American's life style and a seemingly quest for advancement and money.

After researching other webistes I've discovered some very interesting cultural aspects about the philippines, especially concerning the philipina's way of life.

It is often-times easy to get lost in information and take anonymouse information for fact. So I'm posting my wayward finding here in the hopes others will provide their own perspectives and opions towards improving relationships between all us.

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Since my wife is a Philipina my research has focused on finding ways to make her transition as easy as possible. But the more I read it seems there will be many transitions for me too LOL!

My research,

There have been many posts/blogs from concerned individuals whos marriages are not working out and after only a few months.

Most issues seem to stem from their wives not talking as much as they expected and this worried them. Next their wives became distant and would start crying or sleeping all day. Until finally their spouse would want to go home or just disappear one day when they came home from work.

Of course there are many other dynamics concerning a relationships and I'm certain most posters leave out information they don't feel comfortable sharing. But still after reading so many posts there must be something goinging on.

And so, even though my wife still awaits the release of her visa to Delbros, I endevour to ready myself for the challeges of a new Philipina wife and soon to be mother.

To start I researched the history of the Philippines and even started studying the language especially her native dialectic; Bicol.

Here are a few pieces of information that pop out with respect to relationships with philipina women.

In general philippine's women have been treated like second class citizens for many years and as such, for the most part, they have adapted to a subservient role. Obviously there are many exceptions, the current president is a woman. However, the majority of the country struggles everyday to make in this shaking economy, where most jobs are service sector based.

It seems the women now depend on the family and especially husbands to run the family; to make the big decisions and to Ok the womens every move. But I notice at the same time many of the men are just as happy letting their wives work as they sleep all day or drink their RedHorse. However, they still play the dominant role in the family.

Personally I would like my wife to be a strong individual and know she can do as she please. I have total faith in her and would love it if she finds a position in our community that helps her feel fulfilled.

While eveyone is different and have their own lives to deal with I can't help to think "where there is smoke there is fire!" Maybe the culture difference between the Philippines and America is so great that we must contend with and accept, there will be some challenges needing to be met. And the sooner we understand root of these obstacles the sooner we can overcome them.

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Ok, someone else have input?

WOW, I LIKE WHAT I READ.

[kev_n_jena 89]

My wife Jena has been here for 4 months now. She's been absolutely awsome when it comes to adapting. I think 3 factors have really helped her.

(1) I got her a room in a bording house in the city before she came here so she was living on her own instead of with her family. The reason we did that was for comunication purposes (internet), but I think it really helped as sort of a "midway point" when leaving her family.

(2) She's young and a little less set in her ways than she would be if she had lived as an adult for 20 years before moving here. (that's just my opinion)

(3) I found a very nice phil/am couple near me and introduced them to my wife via the internet. The actually met her in person in phils before my wife got her visa. The woman stood as her matron of honor in our wedding.

We attended the local Phil/Am picnic one month after she arrived and she made a couple friends there. An older couple became like surogate parents to her and gave her away at our wedding. We will attend the Phils Christmas party at the Catholic church in December.

We visit my family often and my wife has really become best friends with our Border Collie. The keep each other company while I'm at work.

As I type this, I'm on my lunch at work and my wife is painting our livingroom! She was really suprised to see a picture of a lady painting on a paint can. She said, "hun, you know, in Phils the men to the painting." Not everthing womens lib did was that great! LOL just teasing!

Kev

[Russ_M 0]

Any others out there waiting on visa to be released to Delbrows?

[rjp44 1]

I've certainly noticed some differences too. My wife and I met online about 5 years ago and only became interested romantically about 2 years ago. so we had a lot of conversations revolving around our cultures.

Even though the man is in many cases the "head of the family", the wife often is the one who takes care of the money.

Family is very important, so we've made sure each of her siblings has a computer so they can communicate often.

Even though you trust your wife, dont just say "Do what you want", she wants to hear your opinion and know that you cae what she does.

Family is very important in the culture of Filipinos, so make her feel a part of your family here.

Be prepared to help her family some financially.

I read an online edition of a Manila newspaper daily so that we can discuss events there.

Religion plays a big part in the culture. Be prepared for more religious tone to Christmas and Easter. Maybe she will want to have a shrine in your home.

I know there are many more I haven't thought of right now.

[djturbo 0]

get a 20 lb bag of rice before she gets here and get ready to eat it 3x a day!

I hope my hubby will do this for me when I get there!!

[Russ_M 0]

Hey, greate!

Thanks for the input.

I don't know about the shrine thing! LOL

That sounds scary! LOL:)

[rjp44 1]

Hey, greate!

Thanks for the input.

I don't know about the shrine thing! LOL

That sounds scary! LOL:)

It's not really, usually just a small statue a dish to put things like coins or candy, a place for a few candles.