have you founf after 1 yr living in US to have found a real friend?

[MissStacey 1]

Hi ladies ... I was just thinking about the "making friends" thing today and I have to tell you .. I've been in the US for 3 1/2 months now and I went to see my hairdresser today (my second time going) and I had the best conversation with him. We chit chatted like school girls and I had thought that that was the best conversation that I had had with anyone but my husband since I came here ... of course my hairdresser is totally gay ... so I've decided .. gay men are easier to find than finding good female friends later on in life .. just thought that I'd share my tip lol

Being a hairdresser myself- most of my friends over the years have been co-workers and clients.

My ex best friend of 18 years (we met in grade 4) and I had a huge falling out a few years ago and it is highly unlikely we will ever talk again. I really don't miss her- but I do miss her kids. All of them have different daddies even though she had them all when married to the same guy- a big reason why we are no longer friends.

Now that I am not working and don't get out much- I haven't met many people. We are very social and always have people over- I have clicked with one of Mel's friends. She was one of his professors at UNO- we have fun together and we are going to Vegas together next weekend.

[Nessa 23]

after almost 14 months here I haven't found any friend, and obviously, no good friend. but i live in the middle of nowhere and we have no social life, so it was expected.

The person I talk the most is my waxing lady and i have a co-worker I go shopping with occasionally, but no best friends.

Edited November 30, 2007 by Nessa

[lynamon 0]

Hi ladies ... I was just thinking about the "making friends" thing today and I have to tell you .. I've been in the US for 3 1/2 months now and I went to see my hairdresser today (my second time going) and I had the best conversation with him. We chit chatted like school girls and I had thought that that was the best conversation that I had had with anyone but my husband since I came here ... of course my hairdresser is totally gay ... so I've decided .. gay men are easier to find than finding good female friends later on in life .. just thought that I'd share my tip lol

Being a hairdresser myself- most of my friends over the years have been co-workers and clients.

My ex best friend of 18 years (we met in grade 4) and I had a huge falling out a few years ago and it is highly unlikely we will ever talk again. I really don't miss her- but I do miss her kids. All of them have different daddies even though she had them all when married to the same guy- a big reason why we are no longer friends.

Now that I am not working and don't get out much- I haven't met many people. We are very social and always have people over- I have clicked with one of Mel's friends. She was one of his professors at UNO- we have fun together and we are going to Vegas together next weekend.

oh oh oh ... find a fellow true gambler and you have a friend for life

[bora bora 1]

My husband has never been one to go out and look for friends because he doesn't trust people easily. I still don't know how I won him over .

However, he does have some acquaintances here - some of which are also mine. He made a friend at work - one that I like, along with his family. He also hangs out with our neighbor sometime. Both of these guys are Brazilians. Hubby doesn't go looking for them but it's easier for him since his English is still limited.

We have a group of friends that we hang out with - I met them at work and hubby gets along with them great. I like those kind of friendships.

I've met most of my friends at college (from a few years ago) and from work. I think that's how most people do it - that and church, the gym, school, etc.

[TexaswithLove 0]

I have been here in the US for a year and it was good .My husband was the one who managed to looked for people to become a friend of mine .Most of my friends here in EL PASO,TEXAS are filipinas and filipinos but likewise I have friends with other races. I have friends in the church were we always attend and friends at work, I have even friends in the neighborhood.

Don't worry time will come that you will be able to mingle with another people whom you can call them your FRIENDS.

[raymaga 25]

I've been here 3 1/2 years, and the only friends I have are the three women I work with. There are a few neighbours I talk to, but I wouldn't consider them good friends.

At 51 years old, I don't have kids in common with a lot of our neighbours.

[Modano 0]

It took me over two years to make friends with people in Nebraska and that's suppose to be one of the more friendlier states.

Now we've moved and once again I have no friends either. People in Chicago just don't seem that friendly.

I feel your pain, your not alone. Other then text messaging my friends back in NE and chatting online, the only people I talk to is my husband and our three cats. If they start to talk back I know to seek help.

[Raydin 0]

I will have been here in Minnesota 2 years in April. I wouldnt say i have made any freinds either, getting used to the aquaintances thing I guess.

I sure miss a pint with the guys at the end of the working week, everyone I work with goes straight home on Fridays.

2 things i would like to point out tho, the freinds I had back home in the UK I had for 20 years or more, you cant make that kind of bond in a matter of months, even years. Also being married and 30+ makes it harder than usual to make freinds compared to memories of friends in your teens/20s.

Dont give up. The one you moved for in the first place is the one that matters most, no regrets

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Daphne, maybe you could attend some type of religious services if you follow a religion. My husband has made several friends since coming here just by going to the mosque regularly. Maybe you could find some good friends in a local church / mosque / synagogue / temple? Good luck and I'm sorry you're lonely

[daphne2109 0]

Guys thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much for replying, all your messages help me to understand that I'm not alone!!!!!

Thanks!!!!

[Sheryll 0]

I have been here for 2 1/2 years, and find Oregonians quite friendly. After the first year, I made a concerted effort to become good friends with the fiancee of my stamp collector friend. It helped a lot!

I started taking Spanish classes and after nearly a year I met a lady with whom I got on well. She went to Australia for a visit shortly afterwards, so when she came back that was an extra thing we had in common. We see each other regularly, but she of course has other closer friends.

I met a new neighbour at a block party the second summer, and we clicked. She invited me to drop in and I do from time to time and get on great with her, around her being very busy with work, kids and church.

One of our newest neighbouring families have moved around a lot. They solved the problem of always having to make new friends by hosting a neighbourhood soup night on the first Sunday of the month. It has been their way of getting to know people.

I go to an Intercambio group at the local library on Saturdays, and find that a rewarding way of getting social contact. Two of the people there and the friend I mentioned above have started up our own little group to practise Spanish/English in one another's homes. I can't have anyone over to my place because of my packrat husband, but I am happy to drive to the others' houses. I would call these people friends too, and we even had a dinner together before Christmas with the spouses coming too.

I'm also involved with my stamp collecting hobby. The people in the clubs here have been very welcoming and friendly, and my friend who I mentioned above gives me a ride home most times, so we get to talk about stuff.

I will also talk to the checkout person, etc when I'm out shopping. All the little personal interactions make the day more enjoyable and give me more of a sense of belonging.

All these different groups and friends help, but I also belong to an expat forum, keep up with my online stamp collecting groups and friends, and phone my family and a couple of my Aussie best friends regularly.

Hope this gives you some ideas, Daphne! Don't give up!

[brtlmj 0]

For me the biggest problem is knowing what friendship means here. Sure, I have acquaintances and some of them are friendly, but are they friends? How do I know if I can call someone at 3am if I have a problem? In my country I somehow knew...

[Jeraly 4]

I worry about this too - while I know lots of people at home - I have two close friends I have known for 20 years each -moving away and having to start a relationship with people all over again is going to be really hard and I really want to get out there and meet as many people as I can...

I've been trying to find people in the area I will be living on networking sites but it is quite hard as everything is so spread out around SoCal!!!

[Chuckles 0]

I am here yet few months but looks like its quite a hard thing to find real friends,real as in europe.i lived all over europe and have bunch of friends there.Here people are bit different,you can rarely trust anyone,because most of people trying to flirt rather with me or my husband,even when we trying to have friends-couple...very weird.I found few russian girls online but they are in La and i am north of CA.

good luck!!!find something to do,like some courses or anything like that.it might help.

My wife says the same thing about finding friends here. Everyone is 'nice' but its a facade. It is not like it was in Europe. It has been over a year, and now I would say I am forced to agree with her. I do not see it with men, but then, I have lived here a long time and might be conditioned. She has a good friend now, but she is Estonian.

So open up American women !!! You are missing out on some real good friends

[ginger1981 0]

It took me over two years to make friends with people in Nebraska and that's suppose to be one of the more friendlier states.

Now we've moved and once again I have no friends either. People in Chicago just don't seem that friendly.

I feel your pain, your not alone. Other then text messaging my friends back in NE and chatting online, the only people I talk to is my husband and our three cats. If they start to talk back I know to seek help.

I'm a Nebraskan who has moved to Chicago.

Nebraskans are very friendly, but getting to know them is tough. Most of us grew up in very small towns, and the same generations of family tend to stay there. I went to school in a neighboring town and I never felt like I was "accepted" because my family hadn't been there for at least 3 generations!

Chicago is a bit different. Most of my friends here are not actually from Chicago...come to think of it none of them are! We're all pretty much transplants from either downstate or other states.

I met many of my friends here years before I moved through a forum for U2 fans and going to concerts and such. I've got to be close to a few of them and made friends with their friends.

But anyways, I think it's more like people don't want to be bothered with making new friends. My roommate has the same groups of friends that she hangs out with all the time. They go to the same bars, same concerts and she complains about never meeting guys. I don't know...ppl seem afraid to put themselves too much out there.